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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Doesn’t Take A Private Eye

| Coloma, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(At the library where I work we make photocopies for patrons because our machine is prone to problems.)

Patron: “I need you to photocopy this for me.”

Coworker: “Certainly, I’d be happy to.”

Patron: *handing the librarian the items to photocopy upside down* “Now don’t look at these when you copy them. And don’t look at the photocopies either. I don’t want anyone else knowing my business! This is private.”

Coworker: “I won’t look; I promise.”

(After she made the copies and handed everything back to him upside down, he paid and left.)

Coworker: “That will be real private. Those were postcards.”

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Closing On A High

| Orem, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Time

(I’m a 19-year-old closing shift manager, who has one other employee with me. I come from a very strict religious family, in a very conservative town, so I can say that I’m a bit naive about certain things. One night just as I am walking to lock the doors at 10:58 pm, someone walks up and catches me.)

Customer: “Aww, are you closing? I just wanted a couple of burgers.”

Me: *thinking that technically we had two minutes* “Well we are about to close, but we can make a couple of burgers. No problem.”

Customer: *at the register* “Okay, let me have 18 burgers, 16 fries, 2 onion rings and 18 [Soda]s.”

Me: *knowing that once he is in the store, by policy I have to serve him, I’m fuming* “Okay, sir, but that is a lot of food, and we aren’t set up for that much. Everything has to be cooked from scratch. It’s going to take quite some time.” *hoping he will change his mind*

Customer: “That’s okay. I’ll wait…”

(After spending almost twenty minutes cooking all this food, it’s finally ready.)

Me: *trying to hide my anger at having to stay well past the end of my shift* “Thank you for you order; here you go.”

Customer: “Hey, thanks, dude. Here, I have a tip for you, since you were so nice to stay and cook for me.”

(The then hands me a small envelope. I just want him to leave, so I can go home, so I take it and walk him out. I head back to the office and start with my closing duties.)

Fellow Employee: “So what did that guy give you in the envelope?”

Me: “I don’t know. I didn’t look.” *opening the envelope, it’s full of marijuana, which I’ve actually never seen before in my life* “What the heck is this?”

Fellow Employee: “Well, that explains a lot.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Fellow Employee: “He had the munchies…” *turning around, leaving me holding my first and last bag of weed*

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Wayward Benjamin

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I am working at guest services at a large store when I get a call.)

Me: “Hello and thank you for calling [Store]. How many I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hello, I was wondering if you had a lost and found?”

Me: “Yes, we do. What is it that you lost?”

Customer: “A $100 bill.”

Me: *surprised* “I’ll check with our manager but as far as I know no one has turned anything in.”

(I check with my manager and she laughs but confirms that no one has turned anything in like that. The other employees laugh at the fact she thinks someone would turn it in.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. None of our employees have found anything like that recently.”

Customer: “Oh, dear… Well, I know I lost it in your store. Will you reimburse me?”

Me: “I’m sorry… what?”

Customer: “I know I lost it in there, so will your store reimburse me for the lost money?”

Me: “I… I’m sorry but we can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: *baffled* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we can’t reimburse you for money you may have lost at the store.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Well, just give me a call when you find it, all right?”

(She hung up before I could get her name or number. Not that we would have found a $100 bill just laying around the store. If that ruse had worked, I’d be doing that at all the stores.)

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Ripping Apart Their Excuses

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m putting away items when the new associate approaches me. It is only her second or third shift.)

Coworker: *nervously* “Do we discount damaged items? The lady at the register is asking.”

(Giving her a smile, I follow her back to the registers to handle the situation.)

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “This coat has a huge rip it in! You have to discount it for me.” *she shoves the coat in my face*

(I take the coat from her and start trying to look for what she’s talking about. Clearly upset that I won’t take her word for it she points at a few threads sticking out of the seam, which is in no way a rip/tear in the coat.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is excess thread from when they were serging the seams, not a rip. It’s perfectly normal on clothing items that are mass produced.”

Customer: *getting more upset that I won’t mark the brand new item down for her* “You should still discount it.”

Me: “I would be happy to get you another one from the back. Since the jackets are so large, we only keep one of each size out.”

(While explaining this, I grab a pair of scissors and snip off the threads so that the coat looks just like all the other ones.)

Customer: “It’s going to get a hole in it now!”

(I give the woman a steady look before taking hold of the jacket and tugging with some force at the spot I cut the thread from. Nothing happens to the coat.)

Me: “No, I don’t think it is.”

(The customer purchased the coat, at full price, and left without another word.)

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Doctor “Do Not Disturb”

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(A customer comes up to the desk in the morning and informs us that his toilet is broken, and tells us to look at it. Hours later, the customer comes back and informs us very impolitely that his toilet is still broken.)

Me: “I do apologize for that, sir… but when our maintenance man went up to fix it, he was stopped by a Do Not Disturb sign on your door.”

Customer: *rolls eyes and throw hands up exaggeratedly* “THAT was for the housekeeper, not the maintenance man! I put it up because I didn’t want my room cleaned! Obviously, I want my toilet fixed!”

Me: “I apologize, Mr. [Customer], but it is our policy not to disturb guests who do not want to be disturbed. We could get into trouble if we did.”

Customer: *waving hands in air* “It’s Doctor [Customer]! I have a PhD! So, now you want to blame me for my toilet not being fixed, and you don’t even address me right?! You know what I’m going to do? Complain on the customer complaint line about how poorly run this hotel is! Yessirree!”

Me: “Ok, sir….”

Customer: “I’m a doctor, not a ‘sir’!” *storms off*

(He did complain and his complaints were laughed off.)

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