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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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The Name Game(show)

| USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular

(I take complaints and record feedback for a well-known TV channel.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Caller: “This is unacceptable! Your game show last night was incredibly racist!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I appreciate your call. What show are you talking about and what seems to be the problem!”

Caller: “Last night on [Game Show], an African-American woman was named Ebony! That’s racist! Just because she’s black doesn’t mean you can name her Ebony!”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Caller: “You heard me!”

Me: “Ma’am, let me get this straight; you are complaining about a contestant’s name?”

Caller: “Yes! On [Game Show] last night!”

Me: “[Game Show]? You mean on [Competitor’s Channel]?”

Caller: “Of course! Are you an idiot!”

Me: “You do realize this is [Other Channel], and we don’t play episodes of [Game Show]?”

Caller: “Do something! Her name is completely racist! Think of all of the children that were watching! How could you name someone that?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to say this once. You have called the wrong channel, complained about a show we don’t even host, and want us to do something about a contestant’s name, which is given to them by their parents?”

Caller: “Yes! Why aren’t you doing anything?”

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I Am Number Four

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(My best friend and I are working together at a popular Mexican restaurant. It is early-ish in the morning on a Sunday, so we are the only two on shift. She is taking orders on drive-thru and counter, and I am making the food. It’s very slow and we are only getting roughly one or two customers every half hour, so it’s an easy morning. A gentleman walks in the front doors and orders four tacos and a side of potatoes. I am standing right behind the registers and hear his order, so by the time he’s paid for his items, I almost have all his food ready. He is the only customer we have. Here is the exchange I hear between him and and my friend:)

Cashier: “Your order will be ready in just a moment.”

Customer: “What’s my order number?”

Cashier: “You don’t need an order number. You are the only customer.”

Customer: *ignoring her, raising his voice* “How am I supposed to get my order without an order number?”

(I have finished making his food now and I am putting all his items on the tray. I think he’s kidding, but after glancing over my shoulder I see his face is red with anger and confusion.)

Customer: “Well? How hard is it to give me my ORDER NUMBER!”

Cashier: “Okay, your order number is… four”.

Customer: *looking as if he’s just fought a battle* “Okay, then!”

(At that moment I turn around and put the tray on the front counter. He has not even had a chance to turn to go to the drink machine to pour his beverage. My friend/cashier grabs his tray so he can’t grab it.)

Cashier: *with the belligerent customer directly in front of her* “NUMBER FOUR! NUMBER FOUR! NUMBER FOUR, YOUR ORDER IS READY! NUMBER FOUR!”

(He angrily took his tray and sat in the totally empty dining room. I had to go the back to avoid laughing at the whole scene.)

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Expiration Explanation

| USA | Crazy Requests

(I have a customer who wants to return a task chair she’d purchased for $39.99 because it is broken. She proudly tells me she still has her receipt. It is dated FOUR YEARS earlier.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our return policy is 30 DAYS, and unfortunately the manufacturer’s warranty wouldn’t have been more than a year.”

Customer: *very upset* “Well, I insist you should give me a refund or a new chair. I kept my receipt! I should be able to get a refund or a return since it’s broken!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but our return policy is only 30 days and your receipt says you purchased this four years ago.”

(Now, if I bought a chair for $40, sat in it for four years, and it broke, I’d feel like I got my money’s worth, but not this lady.)

Customer: “This is just so unfair! I drove two hours to bring this broken chair back to the store. It’s going to cost me $80 in gas round trip!”

(This was a FORTY DOLLAR chair. Even if we HAD been able to give her a refund, she would have been in the hole forty dollars…)

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Over My Frozen Dead Body

| Sweden | Crazy Requests

(I’m working the register at a grocery store. While most other grocery stores usually have a roll of small, transparent plastic bags (sometimes referred to as freezer bags) at the end of the register, we do not. We do, however, keep some inside the store, so if a customer realizes that they need one, we usually tell them where they are and they can go back to get one. It’s not exactly a huge store, so it’s not a long walk. A middle-age woman comes to my register and I scan her groceries, including a pack of ice cream. As she’s paying:)

Customer: “Where are your freezer bags?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we actually don’t have any here by the register.”

Customer: “WHAT? How can you be allowed to sell ice cream and not have any freezer bags?”

Me: “I’m sorry. We do have some inside the store though, by the fruits and vegetables, so if you’d like you could-”

Customer: “You’re telling me to GO BACK INSIDE?! OVER MY DEAD BODY! Aren’t you supposed to get SOME service here?!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

(I don’t offer to get her a bag myself as I cannot leave the register unattended, and she doesn’t ask for me to get one either, so by now I’m just trying to finish the transaction as quickly as possible so I can move on to the next customer.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Of course! I’ll need it! You always get things wrong at this place, you know!” *leaves*

Me: *internally* “Well, if that’s the case, then why are you still shopping here?”

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I Find Your Lack Of Concessions… Disturbing

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Popular

(It’s a few days after “Star Wars” has opened, and it’s been playing to all-day sold-out screenings since it opened. We’ve had such huge, record-numbers of guests, that we’ve actually started to run out of many of our concessions. It’s a Monday night, my shift ends in ten minutes, and I’m dealing with my last round of customers, who are of course there to see “Star Wars.” We have a large group of people in the stand because we’ve had to bring in the new hires for emergency training to deal with the record-number of guests. However, as they are all training, they can’t really help me.)

Customer: “Pretzels, please.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’ve actually sold out of pretzels.”

Customer: “But it’s a MONDAY!”

Me: “Unfortunately, Saturday was the busiest day we’ve ever had in the theater’s history, and all of our pretzels sold out by that afternoon.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. Pepperoni pizza, then.”

Me: “We also sold out of all of our pizzas Saturday. I really apologize. We’ve been dealing with record-numbers of guests the past few weeks and we’ve been selling out of much of our stock.”

Customer: *fuming* “You’ve gotta be kidding me! Nachos?”

Me: *wincing* “Sold out as well. I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “FINE! HOT DOGS!”

Me: “We do have hot dogs, but there’s none prepared at the moment. We could have some ready in about fifteen minutes, if you’d like.”

Customer: *screaming; pointing to the trainees around the stand* “What the f*** are you all good for, then?! So many people around you and you’re too STUPID to make f****** hot dogs?!”

Me: “We actually sold all of the hot dogs we had prepared on the guests before you. I really apologize.”

Customer: *pulling phone out* “POPCORN! MEDIUM! AND I WANT COURTESY TRAYS TO SPLIT IT WITH MY BOYFRIEND!”

Me: “We’re out of courtesy trays.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(The customer storms off.)

Next Customer: “Wow, she was dramatic…”

Me: “Yeah, I apologize. We’ve sold out of a lot of inventory and it’s been ugly here the past few weeks as a result. How can I help you?”

Next Customer: “Can I get some nachos?”

Me: “Sorry, but we sold out of them.”

Next Customer: *instantly furious* “WHAT?! THIS IS BULL-S***!”

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