Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Creating An International Incident

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography, Transportation

(I work at an Japanese car brand’s USA customer service center. Because of the differences in laws and regulations, there are actually several different companies – USA, Canada, Europe, etc.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Car Brand]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I want to make complaint! I had to leave my car at the dealership overnight for maintenance and the next morning there was a big scratch in the paint along one side.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that! I will be happy to help you file a report. Where is the dealership? What city and state?”

Caller: “It’s in Tel Aviv.”

Me: “What state is that in?”

(There are lots of towns and cities in the USA named after places in other countries.)

Caller: “Oh, it’s not in the US. Tel Aviv is in Israel!”

Me: “In that case, sir, you’ve reached a wrong number. You need to call [Car Brand] of Israel to make your report.”

Caller: “I did! But I didn’t like their answer, so I decided to call you!”

The Internet Loves Stories About Them, Too

| Dallas, TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, where would I go to complain to a manager?”

Me: “What is the issue? Maybe I can help?”

Customer: “Forget it. I’ll just go complain on the Internet.”

Me: “Are you sure? It won’t be but a couple of seconds.”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure. The Internet loves this stuff.”

Me: *gives him a weird look* “Well, okay then. Have a good day!”

(I later tell my manager what happened, and he just laughs.)

Manager: “Okay, I’m sure he’ll get real far with that. One less dumb-a** I have to deal with.”

She Has Taken The Black

| Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

(I am a breakfast chef at a five-star hotel. We have a lot of North American customers who are unfamiliar with some popular European foods. A waiter draws my attention to an order they have just taken.)

Waiter: “Vegetarian breakfast with black pudding. I tried explaining but she just shoo-ed me away.”

(Black pudding is made from pigs’ blood.)

Me: “Do you want to check again, that she’s sure?”

(The waiter goes off to check again with the customer and returns a minute later.)

Waiter: “She’s sure. She ate it before and it was delicious. And she isn’t very happy at her order being questioned.”

Me: “I’ll just go and check.”

(I go to the customer’s table.)

Me: “Are you a vegetarian, ma’am?”

Guest: “Yes. Yes, I am.”

Me: “Are you aware of what black pudding is?”

Guest: “Look, I had it for the first time a few days ago and it was delicious. Now, just get me my d*** breakfast.”

Me: “Can I just explain…”

(I go into the full details of how black pudding is made, with the boiling of the pigs’ blood, the addition of oatmeal and diced pig fat, etc. I note the customer going greener and greener as the story goes on.)

Guest: “Actually, could I just have cereal and toast, please?”

The Mark Of A Bad Customer

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(A customer comes to my counter with a roll of fabric.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like two metres, please. But there’s a mark on the fabric.”

Me: “Not a problem. Just show me where the mark is and I can sort something out for you.”

(She shows me a really tiny pinhead-sized section of the fabric that is slightly lighter than the rest. You’d practically need a magnifying glass to even notice it.)

Me: “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. It will come right out in the wash.”

Customer: *horrified* “I’m not washing it!”

Me: “It’s a cotton fabric, ma’am. I highly recommend you pre-wash it. It will shrink a little bit the first time; if you sew it first the seams will pucker.”

Customer: “I am not having that bit with the mark!”

(It’s a cheap fabric, so I decide not to argue with her.)

Me: “Okay, well, I can give you a discount—”


(I had to cut off over a metre of fabric off just to avoid ‘the mark’, which we then had to put in our half-price box. Normally I’d let the customer keep the extra bit of fabric, but there was no way I was wasting it on her.)

Warning Signs: AKA Price Tags

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(In addition to selling coffee we also sell things like mugs and greeting cards. A woman brings three cards up to the counter.)

Me: *after ringing them up* “That’ll be $16.50.”

Customer: “What? $16.50 for three cards? Are you sure?”

Me: *checks* “Yes, I’m sure. See, on the back it shows how much it is. These are all around $5 so with tax that makes $16.50.”

Woman: “Well, that seems like too much.”

Me: “Well,they are kind of expensive, but they are also really great cards and I’m sure whoever you are buying them for will love them.”

Customer: “But still, $16.50!”

Me: “Do you still want to buy them?”

Customer: “Well, yes, but you should have some sort of warning sign up.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “A warning sign. Write a sign that says, ‘Beware: cards are expensive!’”

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