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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Don’t Count On It

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We have school contracts at our restaurant that allows schools to buy pizza at a reduced price for resale. One such school has been calling every single order to complain, and giving us trouble every week, usually about them missing pizza. Finally, our district manager decides to deliver the pizzas personally, to make sure everything is right this time. Soon, we get this call.)

School: “Hi, I was calling because your driver left the pizza bags here. Were you going to pick them up?”

(Curious about why our manager would leave the expensive bags there, we wait for her to come back to ask.)

District Manager: “Oh, that? They asked me if I had an hour to wait for them to count the pizzas. I said ‘nope’ and walked out.”

Assistant Manager: “Why would it take them an hour to count 40 pizzas?”

District Manager: “Honestly? I don’t think they can count…”

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Ignore The Code Of Practice

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(At this restaurant, there are certain situations where a manager must use a code to authorize a purchase. A customer walks up to my till, places a large order, and pays with a $50 bill.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], can I get a code?”

Customer: “A code?”

Me: “Yeah, sometimes I need a manager code to process a transaction.”

Customer: *suddenly starts yelling* “Did I SAY I wanted a manager, you little s***?! Just give me my d*** food!”

Me: “Miss, I can’t do that without a manager. If you pay an amount over $50, then—”

Customer: “I. DON’T. WANT. A F***ING. MANAGER!”

Me: “Do you have a credit card, miss?”

Customer: “NO! Why the f*** would I have my credit card? I’m paying cash!”

Me: “If you don’t have a credit card, I need a manager.”

Manager: “[My Name], what’s going on here?”

Me: “Well, this—”

Customer: “Are you a manager? Get the f*** out of here! I don’t want a f***ing manager! I just want my f***ing food!”

Me: “Miss, I’ve tried to—”

Manager: “[My Name], what have I been telling you? The customer is always right, remember?”

Me: “But—”

Manager: “Now, this lady says she doesn’t want a manager. Okay? If she doesn’t want a manager, she’s not getting one.”

Me: “[Manager], she needs a—”

Manager: *winks* “What did I just tell you, [My Name]? She. Doesn’t. Need. A. Manager.”

Me: *catching on* “Sorry. I forgot. You should probably get back to what you were doing, then.”

Manager: *leaves*

Me: “Sorry about that, miss.”

Customer: *scoffs* “It’s about d*** time. Now give me my food.”

Me: “Do you happen to have any other cash on you?”

Customer: “What? No. Why the f*** would I have any more cash? All I need is the f***ing fifty.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, since you’re paying $50, I need a manager code to authorize this. And since you don’t want a manager, I’m afraid I can’t sell you anything. Can I help you with anything else today?”

Customer: “I’LL BURN THIS F***ING PLACE TO THE GROUND!” *storms out*

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Should Have Done The Scan For Leftover Customers

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(We close on Saturdays at 12 pm. It is 11:55 am and the last patient has left. I lock the doors and settle everything. The radiographer turns the machines off. I have my bag in my hand. It is now 12 pm.)

Customer: “Hello.”

(I look around alarmed. A woman slowly walks up to me.)

Me: “Ah, hello.”

Customer: “I saw Dr [Name] today and he said I can have an X-ray today.”

(I recall a call from Dr Name at 11 am and a patient stating the same thing arrived. I had no idea there was more than one.)

Me: “Yes, that was at eleven. When did you get here?”

(And how did she get through the locked doors?)

Customer: “I’ve been here since 11:30; I’ve just been in the bathroom.”

(The radiographer sees and gives me a panicked ‘everything is turned off already’ look and stands beside me.)

Me: “I’m so sorry. We just closed. I was expecting you earlier. We can do Monday, definitely!”

Customer: “The doctor said you can do me today.”

Me: “And we could have if you came up before closing. Unfortunately, we have turned off the X-ray machine and are unable to do any more scans.”

Customer: “My doctor said you would do it today! It’s urgent; I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Radiographer: “Even if we scanned you today there are no reports because we have no radiologist on the weekends.”

(The radiographer continued repeating what I was saying in every polite way as I notice Customer #2 at the front struggling with the door. She waves me over. I open the door a crack seeing she is distressed.)

Customer #2: “My doctor called and said you would do my scan for me!”

Me: “Unfortunately, we closed at 12 pm. All calls I got were around 11 am.”

Customer #2: “I need the scan done! He said you’re going to do it!”

(She grabs the door and tries to push it open, but my foot is lodged behind it and it doesn’t budge. Shocked at the aggression, I repeat once again we are closed and shut the door. She walks away in a huff. I return to the first customer.)

Me: “If it’s urgent I know the emergency department always has scanning available with reporting.”

(Customer #1 left, defeated. The radiographer and I sighed and headed home at 12:20 pm. Funny how every time I mention to patients that the emergency department is available after hours their scan is suddenly not as urgent.)

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Did Nazi That Coming

TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular, Religion

(I work in a gas station located on a major interstate, and we get a lot of out-of-town customers who are just passing through. Many of them object to the company’s policy of requiring customers to pre-pay for gas.)

Customer #1: “I want to fill up with gas, but I want to buy drinks, too. Can you just hold my card and turn on the pump?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry; company policy does not allow me to do that, in the event that a card may be declined.”

Customer #1: “My card is good. Just turn on the pump.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not allowed to do that. You will have to use your card to pay at the pump and come in to purchase your drinks separately.”

Customer #1: “This is bull-s***! Why should I have to make two separate purchases? You just like telling people what to do! You’re a god-d*** [Gas Station] Nazi!” *continues ranting and cursing, using the word “Nazi” at least four more times*

Customer #2: *in line behind Customer #1* “That will be enough of that, young man.”

(Customer #1 rounds on Customer #2, obviously preparing to continue his tirade. Customer #2, an elderly lady wearing a necklace with a large silver Star of David pendant, looks back at him calmly as his mouth shuts with a snap. Without looking at either of us again, he slinks off and drives away.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about that, ma’am.”

Customer #2: “Quite all right, miss. Twenty dollars on pump two, please.”

Me: “Thank you, and have a lovely day!”

Customer #2: “Shalom!”

Narwailing On About It

| Portland, OR, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work at a bookstore that mostly sells children’s books. A mother comes in with her daughter who is about six years old.)

Mother: “I’d like to make a complaint. Who is the manager?”

Me: “I am the manager. What is the problem?”

Mother: “I found this book in the nonfiction section.”

(She holds up a book about arctic animals. The cover shows a polar bear and a narwhal.)

Me: “Ma’am, that is a nonfiction book. It contains facts about those animals.”

Mother: “No, it does not. There’s no such thing as a narwhal! They are imaginary creatures.”

Me: “…”

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