Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Grand Theft Innocence: Part 13

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Me: “[Store], thanks for calling. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, do you guys sell games?”

Me: “Yes, we do, sir, as well as consoles and accessories.”

Customer: “Woah, that’s so cool, man. Hey, do you guys have GTA: Vice City?”

Me: “Yes, we do, sir. We have both new and used copies.”

Customer: “Cool man. Is there somewhere I can meet you to pick this up?”

Me: “Our store is located at [Address]. You can just come here and get it, but we’re closing in half an hour.”

Customer: “No, no, man, ya gotta meet me somewhere halfway.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t leave the store with unpaid merchandise. Maybe it would be better if you just came here tomorrow; we open at 9:30.”

Customer: “Okay, okay, I got a spot we can meet. I’ll be at [some alley lane I’ve never heard of] in half an hour. Bring the game.” *click*

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 12
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 11
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10

A Ballooning Problem

| Glen Allen, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a party store that specializes in balloons. We’re basically called “the balloon super store” so we tend to get very busy. It’s around high school graduation time, and we get a lot of balloon orders and we have to deal with idiotic people. We have balloon orders that fill up a basket and people walking in to get orders.)

Customer: *yelling* “I put my balloon order in 20 minutes ago!” *in reality, it was only five*

Me: *as respectful as possible* “I’m sorry, ma’am, we are trying our best to complete all the balloon orders as quickly as possible. If you could try and be patient that would be great.”

Customer: “But I am in a hurry and I have places to be!”

(At this point, she is in my face, and yelling at me, surrounded by other people yelling at me.)

Me: *I show her all the orders we have to do* “Ma’am, we are going as fast as we can. Please be patient.”

(Five minutes later:)


Me: *I was more than finished with this woman, so I literally dropped everything that I was doing in front of her* “FINE, I WILL DO YOUR BALLOON ORDER.”

(I start blowing up her balloons, and bag them up.)

Me: “[Customer], your balloons are ready.”

Customer: *starts yelling at me again and says* “THESE ARE THE WRONG COLORS!”

Me: *I’ve lost my patience at this point* “What do you mean they are the wrong colors? What colors were they supposed to be, and why didn’t you tell me when I was blowing them up?!”

Customer: “They are supposed to be black not brown!”

Me: *grabs the scissors – POP POP POP POP POP POP!* “DON’T COME BACK!”

Barking Orders

| Cape Town, South Africa | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I am a customer at a supermarket. I watch this scene unfold at the checkout. It’s extremely busy and there are long lines at all the checkouts. The customer in front of me is a middle-aged woman.)

Customer: “Please, please hurry! You’re so slow. I’ve left my dog in my car, and it’s so terribly hot.”

(It’s actually a cool, cloudy day. As the employee scans the large number of items in her trolley as fast as she possibly can, the customer keeps muttering about her dog and how slow she is.)

Customer: “Wait! Isn’t there a discount on this item? It’s showing [amount] on the display, but there’s supposed to be a special offer of [amount] off.”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am, if you just look at the line below:” *indicating the display*

Customer: *ignoring her* “No, you’re wrong. I’ll prove it! Wait a minute.”

(She rushes off into the supermarket, leaving the whole line standing and waiting. She’s gone a long time, and everyone is showing signs of impatience. Eventually she comes back carrying the price tag and special offer notice that she’s ripped off the shelf.)

Customer: “You see! There’s supposed to be a discount of [amount].”

Employee: “Yes, ma’am. There’s the discount correctly shown on the line below the item.” *she shows her on the display*

(After much peering she reluctantly agrees.)

Customer: “Wait! Here’s my loyalty card. Oh, my poor dog! He’s waiting for me in that hot car.”

(She fishes around in her purse for some time before producing her loyalty card.)

Customer: *repacking a bag* “No, don’t put that in this bag.” *she fusses around, transferring items from one bag to another*

Employee: “Your total is [amount].”

(She spends some time looking slowly through her wallet before she produces a credit card.)

Customer: “And I’d like [amount] cash back, please.”

(The employee processes the transaction and hands her her cash back. With a look of relief, the employee turns to me, next in line.)

Customer: “Wait! You gave me all hundreds. Can you please give me two fifties instead of this hundred? I need some change.”

Employee: “I’ve already closed the drawer ma’am. You’ll have to wait until it opens for the next transaction.”

Customer: “You’re so slow and inefficient. Don’t you know that I have a dog waiting in my hot car?”

Customer Behind Me: *coming forward* “Here, I’ve got change for you.”

(He handed her two fifties for her hundred and she finally left, still muttering about the dog in the hot car. I quickly finished checking out, and walked out into the parking lot. I walked past the customer, busy putting her bags into her car. There was no dog in the car.)

Kindness Is The Missing Seasoning

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: “I want a burger with nothing on it.”

Me: “Nothing? No sauce at all?”

Customer: “No, nothing at all on the burger, but –” *counts the words out on her fingers* “ — the meat and the bun.” *kind of smug* “Got that?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let the cook know.”

(I move over and let the cook know the woman only wants meat. It isn’t an odd order, actually a really easy one. It gets finished fast so I get it right out to the women. She sits down and proceeds to look inside her burger as I clean up, but suddenly she back at the counter.)

Customer: “What is all this black stuff on the meat?”

Me: *taking a moment to process* “Oh, isn’t that seasoning?”

Manager: *who has approached to look too* “Yes, that is the seasoning we put on meat when we cook it.”

Customer: *now getting angry* “I told her I wanted NOTHING on my burger!”

Manager: “We can make one without seasoning but—”

Customer: *cuts him off* “I want a new burger! And I want it done right with nothing on it!”

(I raise my brows and look at the cook as my manager tries to get in that without seasoning the meat will be flavorless, but she won’t listen. She even moves close to the door of the restaurant where she can see back by the grill and watch the cook. And when I hand her the burger she unwraps it in front of me and my manager, smirking to herself when she finds no seasoning, and rolling her eyes at us for not “getting it right” the first time.)

Manager: *to me* “If she comes back up here, she’s not getting a new one.”

(The manager goes over to tell the cook as well, before standing back from the counter with his arms crossed and waits. Sure enough the women comes back up to complain about her flavorless burger being *drum roll* FLAVORLESS!)

Customer: “Can you redo this? It doesn’t taste… like anything. Like, cook it with the seasonings?”

Cook: “It’s already cooked. It gets the flavor while cooked with the seasonings.”

Customer: “Can you sprinkle some of the flavoring on?”

(The cook does so, but now it clearly just tastes like flavorless meat with peppercorns and spices sitting on top of it.)

Customer: “I want a new burger! This is disgusting!”

Manager: *moves back up to the counter* “We made two burgers for you now and you’ve been rude to my associates. YOU messed up. You can leave if you don’t wanna pay for your next burger. I don’t care!”

(The customer looks at all of us.)

Customer: “Can I get a chicken sandwich to replace it instead?”

The Number One Way To Travel

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work customer service via email for a large ticketing company, usually dealing with disabled customers in need of specialty seating.)

Customer: “I need an aisle seat for my husband.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re out of aisle seats for that event. Is there another way we could accommodate him?”

Customer: “Well, he can walk okay, but he has a bladder problem so he has to pee frequently. I just wanted an aisle seat so he could get in and out quickly. But I guess he could wear a poncho and pee under it at his seat into a mayo jar. You know, like on an airplane?”

Me: “…Um. Well… wait. LIKE ON AN AIRPLANE?!”

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