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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A Quarter

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(Decorated flip-flops are all the rage at this time. I am trying to help two middle-aged ladies who are shopping with two small children, a roughly three-year-old boy in the cart seat and a roughly six-year-old girl running around. The boy is very bored and keeps grabbing one of the women, grabbing spools of ribbon and shoving them back in the incorrect slots, and screaming. The women just ignore the children and the girl continues to aggravate the boy’s behavior. The entire group acts conceited and entitled.)

Woman #1: “Yeah, I need this ribbon but in one-quarter inch.” *holds up one-half inch by-the-yard black and white zebra print*

Me: “All right, it looks like we only carry half-inch and wider for that print in by-the-yard and only 3/8th inch wide in the by-the-spool section. What are you planning on using it for so I can help figure out the best option?”

Woman #1: *shoves a white flip-flop at me, the size making it obvious it is hers* “The woman at [Competitor] told me I could glue fabric around the edge to decorate it but the silky fabric she cut frayed! I want ribbon or something else that won’t fray!”

Me: “All right. You could get the larger one and fold it over since you will be gluing it anyway. Or you could cut it down and use a fray-check before gluing to prevent it from fraying. That way, you wouldn’t need to buy as much.”

Woman #1: “No! I want quarter-inch ribbon so I don’t have to cut it.”

Me: “I understand but we do not carry black and white zebra print in quarter-inch width. If you prefer, we have other patterns in that size. Or we also carry black and white zebra fabrics you can get cut, but I would, again, recommend using a fray-check since they will be seeing a lot of wear and tear on flip-flops—”

Woman #1: “NO! I WANT RIBBON!”

Me: “Well, since we do not carry it, you might be able to find it at [Competitor #2], [Competitor #3], or possibly at [Competitor #4].”

Woman #1: “I HAVE ALREADY TRIED THERE! DON’T TELL ME I HAVE TO GO BACK TO [COMPETITOR] IN [Town one hour away]!”

Me: *really thinking how I can make this person happy or at least offer more suggestions* “Where do you live? [Competitor] actually just opened up a branch in [Town half an hour away], if that is any closer to you.

Woman #1: *she is screaming at this point* “I LIVE IN [Town 45 minutes in opposite direction].”

Me: “Oh. The only other suggestion I can think of, then, is to maybe get some sharpies and draw your own designs.”

(At this point, the boy has moved on to throwing spools of ribbon while the girl tugs at him. The woman finally takes notice when I bend down to scoop up an unraveling spool.)

Woman #1: “WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?! STOP BEING BRATS!” *to the girl* “GET AWAY FROM HIM AND BEHAVE!”

(As she says this she shoves the little girl away while simultaneously ramming her cart into me. She glares at me like she is daring me to say something but I just smile and continue to re-wind the ribbon spool. Woman #2 finally takes notice and starts screaming at the kids that they need to apologize for making a mess. You know, instead of the adults paying attention to them and preventing them from misbehaving.)

Me: “If there is nothing else I can help you with, have a nice day!”

Woman #1: “WHAT?! YOU HAVEN’T HELPED ME AT ALL! THIS IS TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE!”

(I just walked away thinking: And you are a terrible parent. I gave you 10 different options and ideas. Short of pulling what you wanted out of the non-existent magic satchel in my a**, there was nothing else I could do. I walked right into the break room where my manager (who I filled in on the situation) told me to stay until those women left the store. Apparently Woman #1 was looking for me…)

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This Is A Bad Sign, Part 3

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(The restaurant I work at has free soft-drink refills, with a drink machine in the lobby for customers. Basically, it’s free refills for people inside, but not drive-thru. I’m working the cash window at drive-thru when a teenager holding a plastic cup walks up, ignoring the rather large ‘No walk-ups’ sign next to my window.)

Customer: “Can you refill my [Drink]?”

Me: Um…no. You have to go inside to get your refill. We don’t have a machine in here.

(He promptly runs inside to get his refill. But not 20 minutes later, the customer drives up, holding his empty cup and a small paper sign from the lobby.)

Customer: “I’ll trade you the sign for a refill!”

(And apparently, he tried the same thing at the pickup window!)

Related:
This Is A Bad Sign, Part 2
This Is A Bad Sign

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His Request Is Dead In The Water

| MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Transportation

(My last customer of the day/week is absolutely irate because company policy prevents us from moving his 55-gallon aquarium, which is full of 20 fish and 50 gallons of water.)

Customer: “Jesus Christ, this is ridiculous. You’re telling me that you’re a professional moving company, and you won’t move an aquarium.”

Me: “Not if it is full. We move aquariums, but they must be completely emptied out prior to move day.”

Customer: “What am I supposed to do with 20 fish and 50 gallons of water?!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I and my friend moved this thing BY OURSELVES the last time I moved.”

Me: “Sir, when you put a full aquarium on a truck with the rest of your belongings, it is very likely that the water would spill onto your other items and ruin them. It’s also likely that water would cause our men to slip and hurt themselves. We can’t transport liquids of any kinds due to the safety hazard.”

Customer: “It won’t spill because I let 4-5 inches evaporate because I knew I was moving. I could move this thing myself; I just don’t WANT to do it. This is f****** ridiculous. I want to speak to a manager.”

Me: “I’d LOVE for you to speak with my manager.”

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Didn’t See The Smoke Signals

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Underaged

(In Minnesota, it’s the law to card people that look under the age of 40 if they are buying tobacco or tobacco-related products. If you refuse to show ID, even if you look over 18, we cannot sell to you after we’ve asked for it.)

Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

Female Customer: “Can I have a pack of Camel Crush?”

Me: “Sure! Can I see your ID?”

Female Customer: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t sell to you without an ID.”

Female Customer: “I’m 28; my birth year is 1986.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you without a proper form of identification.”

Female Customer: “Well, fine! I’ll just go somewhere else.”

Me: “Have a nice night.”

(I watch her storm out to the truck on one of our pumps. I watch as a guy gets out of the driver’s side and comes into the store.)

Me: “Hi there! How can I help you?”

Male Customer: “Can I get a pack of Camel Crush and a tin of Grizzly Wintergreen?”

Me: “Sir, if you are trying to buy a pack of cigarettes for the girl that was just in here, then I cannot sell to you.”

Male Customer: “She’s 28.”

(He basically just admitted that he is associated with her and probably buying her cigarettes.)

Me: “It doesn’t matter, sir. She failed to produce a proper form of ID when asked. I cannot sell to either of you.”

Male Customer: “That’s ridiculous. She’s 28 and I smoke, too.”

Me: “That’s the law, sir. You’ve admitted you are trying to buy cigarettes for her and I saw you get out of the same truck she got into. I cannot sell to you.”

Male Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous! I’ll be back in the morning to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Okay, good luck! Make sure to read the signs in the store next time that say we card anyone under 40! Have a nice night!”

(They never talked to a manager or the corporate office.)

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Not A Very Rewarding Experience

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers

Customer: “I have gas on pump four.”

(I’m not seeing a transaction on four (diesel) but one on pump two (regular gas). Both pumps are next to each other and get easily confused.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, do you mean pump two? Pump four is diesel and there isn’t any gas on that pump.”

Customer: “Yes, pump two. That’s what I said.”

Me: “All right, sir. That will be [price].”

Customer: “I have this card, too, but it didn’t work out there.”

(He hands me the rewards card from the store we don’t support.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir but we don’t take [Grocery Store] rewards card. We have a deal with our local grocery store.”

Customer: “That’s fine; I’ll just never get gas here again. Don’t you have a five cent off discount or something?”

Me: “If you use your [Gas Store] credit card or [Other Partner Goods Store] credit card, then it will automatically take off five cents per gallon.”

Customer: “You don’t have a five cent off discount for people that have the [Grocery Store] rewards card?”

Me: “Not unless you use one of those cards, sir.”

Customer: “Well, [Name] at [our other nearby store] gives me a five cent discount all the time because I don’t have that pump perks thing.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not [Name] and this is not that store. This is also the reason we don’t give out the discount because you have access to a list of stores that take that card online and you obviously are abusing the privilege of getting a five cent discount at [our other nearby store].”

Customer: “Whatever. I’m never stopping here again.”

Me: “That’s fine with me, sir. I’ll be sure to inform corporate to tell the other store that they cannot give you a discount in the future for not having the appropriate rewards card and demanding discounts, when you know the store doesn’t participate with that certain reward program. Have a nice day.”

(He stormed out in a huff.)

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