Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

A Sad Sign Of The Times

Washington, DC, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am waiting in the express lane to buy groceries (15 items or fewer). The customer in front of me has a full cart.)

Cashier: “Excuse me, sir? This is the express lane.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Cashier: “Fifteen items or fewer.”

Customer: “What?”

Cashier: “It’s fifteen items or fewer for this lane. Since you’re already here, I’ll let you stay in line, but for the future, please use another lane.”

Customer: “Well… how was I supposed to know it was fifteen items or fewer? There should be a sign!”

Cashier: “It’s right there.”

(He points right above the customer’s head, where there’s a giant sign reading “EXPRESS LANE – 15 ITEMS OR FEWER.”)

Customer: *angrily pointing to a random spot next to the cash register* “Yeah, well, it SHOULD be over THERE!”

Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 3

| UT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Money

(I call a customer to collect payment for finished tax return.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer], I’m just calling to let you know your tax return is complete and you have a balance of [balance]. Once we collect this amount we will send you your return.”

Customer: “Uh, so I have to pay before you will send me my return?”

Me: “Yes, it is required that we collect payment before sending you the return.”

Customer: “Why? That seems weird. Why can’t you send me my tax return then let me pay you?”

Me: “Uh, because we would risk the chance of customers getting their tax returns and never paying us and the firm would go under…”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll pay… That is just so weird.”

Related:

Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2

Too Taxing For Them To Understand

Doctorate In Bread Required

| Barcelona, Spain | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, Popular

(I work at a self-service buffet in a hotel. We have these little signs with the name of every dish except the very obvious ones. I am carrying drinks when a middle-aged guest comes to me and points to the bread aisle.)

Guest: “What is this?”

Me: “Emm… bread, sir.”

Guest: “How do I know this is bread? There is no sign at all.”

Me: “Well, it is obviously bread; it looks like bread, after all.”

Guest: “What if I never saw a piece of bread before? How do I know this is actually bread? You can’t expect us all to know that this is bread. Bring me your manager.”

Me: *fetches the manager*

Manager: “Sir, is there something wrong?”

Guest: “Why is there no sign for bread?”

Manager: “Well, it’s obvious that it’s bread.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous! You think we all have Oxford doctorates here? And you treat us like fools? That’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m filling in a complaint!”

(And he actually did…)

When Sugary Doesn’t Mean Sweet

| Ross Township, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work for a global mega-corporation coffee shop. One of the summer promotional items is an insanely sugary blended drink, and it is the highest-selling promotional drink the company has ever had. As the summer is nearly over, however, we have run out of some of the ingredients to make it.)

Customer: “Hi, gimme a large [Summer Promo Beverage]! With extra dark caramel sauce and topping!”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, we’ve run out of that for the summer! Would you—”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “Yeah, unfortunately we just used the last of the product within the past couple of days.”

(She turns to my coworker.)

Customer: “YOU! It’s all YOUR FAULT!”

Coworker: “Me?! I didn’t do it!”

Customer: *to me* “Can I smack him? Is that allowed?”

Me: “It’s not his fault! Other customers drank it all. And no, you may not smack him.”

Customer: “No, it’s definitely his fault!”

Me: *sarcastically* “Yeah, I’m sure he sat there and drank all the dark caramel through a straw, just to make you mad.”

Customer: “HE PROBABLY DID!”

Coworker: “Hey, how about I make you a regular caramel [Blended Drink] and put a bunch of extra caramel in it? That’s pretty much all the [Promo Drink] is.”

Customer: “It’s not the same! But I guess it’ll have to do…”

(I ring her up for the drink and she continues to make comments, gradually getting louder and louder as she goes…)

Customer: “It’s not right! You guys shouldn’t be out of that drink. It’s all YOUR fault.”

Coworker: “It’s still not my fault!”

Customer: “Well, I’m blaming YOU for it. You guys should sell that all the time. Why would [Coffee Chain] stop selling such a popular drink? WHY WOULD [Coffee Chain] STOP SELLING SUCH A POPULAR DRINK? It shouldn’t just be a SUMMER drink; it should be available ALL the time! WHY WOULD [Coffee Chain] NOT WANT TO SELL IT ALL THE TIME? You know what? I’m going to file a complaint with the company! I’ll write to [Company CEO]! I’LL GO TO OBAMA HIMSELF!” *leaves with drink*

Me: “What the f*** is Obama going to do about her stupid [Promo Drink]?”

Requires A Herculean Effort To Make Them Understand

| Richmond, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work at an automotive parts store, and we say the name of our store in the greeting when we answer phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What time is Hercules playing tonight?”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is [Store]. You have the wrong number.”

Customer: “I’d like to buy tickets to see Hercules.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. This is not the movie theater.”

Customer: “Why can’t you sell me tickets? What kind of movie theater is this? Can I speak to a manager?!”

(I put the customer on hold and tell my manager the story.)

Manager: *on the phone*  “Hercules is playing at eight pm tonight and we have two tickets here for you at the counter. Have a nice night.”

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