Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

A Scrambled Sense Of The Law

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(Working for the local cable office we often get questions about services that are connected to TV, but not necessarily a service we provide.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys rent cable descramblers?”

Me: “Oh, do you mean antennas to get over-the-air channels?”

Customer: “No, cable descramblers for the people that want TV stations but don’t want to pay for them.”

Me: “No, ma’am. That’s not how business works. I can either set you up for TV or you can get an antenna.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t I get a descrambler?”

Me: “Because they are illegal, ma’am.”

(The customer went wide eyed and immediately changed the subject.)

Just When You Thought It Would All Be Yankee Doodle Dandy

| Savannah, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, School

(I’m working the floral counter at a high-end natural foods store. An older woman comes in, well-dressed and with a strong upper class southern accent, and peers at the cut flower display. Note that my accent is quite clearly Bostonian and couldn’t pass for southern even if I tried.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, welcome to [Store]! Can I help you with anything today?”

Customer: “Yes, you can. My daughter is graduating from Georgia Southern. I’m having a party for her tonight, and I need flowers to make an arrangement.”

Me: “Oh, well, congratulations to your daughter! Are there any types of flower or colors in particular you had in mind?”

Customer: *looking affronted* “The Georgia Southern colors, of course!”

Me: *anxious smile* “Um?”

Customer: *as if this is a universally known fact* “Blue and white!”

Me: “Oh, okay! Well, we have quite a lot of lovely options for white, but I’m afraid as for blue we only have these blue hydrangea or this blue thistle.”

Customer: *frowns* “Hmm. Well, what would go with the hydrangea?”

Me: “You know, we just got these peonies in, and they come in an ivory as well as a cream, and they’re really quite stunning the way they open up, and we only have them for—”

Customer: *shocked* “Peonies? Honey, don’t you know those are a YANKEE flower?!”

Me: *speechless*

Cash Back Attack, Part 2

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(I’m working our drive-thru lanes with another teller. A customer comes through our business lane and asks that I exchange some coins for him. I do this, give him cash back in a sealed money envelope, and he drives off. 10 minutes later, he comes back through the drive-thru…)

Customer: *to me* “You! You didn’t give me enough cash back!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”


Me: “Is it stuck to another one of the bills, sir?”

Customer: “Of course not. This is what you gave me. I want my d*** money right now!”

Me: “Let me go count my drawer and I’ll see if I can find that $20 for you.”

(I count my entire drawer, and discover I balance perfectly.)

Me: “Sir, my drawer is perfectly balanced. Are you sure the $20 isn’t stuck to something else?”

Customer: “I don’t give a flying s*** if your drawer is f*****g balanced! You cheated me out of my d*** $20 and I want you to give it to me RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Please don’t use that language with me.”

Customer: “I can talk however the h*** I want!”

Me: “I’ll ask you again to not to use that language with me. What I will do is get a supervisor to count my drawer again.”

Customer: “You tell your supervisor to get her a** over here right f*****g now!”

(I grab a supervisor. She counts my drawer slowly and makes sure the customer can see her through the window. Again, it comes up balanced.)

Supervisor: “Sir? Her drawer is coming up balanced. I’ve checked her transaction history and it’s showing she gave you the $20.”



Supervisor: “I’m not going to do that. I have no proof that she did anything other than give it to you.”


Coworker: “Sir, did you look on your seat for the $20?”

Customer: *looks down* “…Oh. Here it is. Right on my seat.”

Supervisor: “Good, I’m glad you found it. Now, have a nice day.”

Customer: “I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t cheat me. I don’t like to be cheated. I guess I’m sorry.”

(My jaw drops. I click the drive-thru mic off and mouth “Shame on you” at the customer as he drives away.)

Supervisor: “A**hole.” *looks at me and my coworker* “Sorry! I shouldn’t have said that. Are you okay, [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, you only said what we all were thinking…”

Cash Back Attack

A Golden Opportunity To Complain

| ND, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work as a night auditor and part of my job is making reservations. One night I get a call from a gentleman that needs a room on a night that we are sold out. I inform him we are full and this is his response:)

Caller: “But I am a Priority Club Gold member. My room is guaranteed!”

Me: “Yes, it’s guaranteed IF there is availability, but we are completely booked.”

Caller: “But I’m Gold; you have to give me a room!”

Me: “I again apologize, but we are full on that night.”

(He cussed me out and hung up. I sometimes wonder if people realize that when they argue, it’s pointless. I mean, I’m not a carpenter, so I can’t build them a room!)

False Colors

| Malta | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(We sell a lot of flip flops and they’re on stands helpfully organised by style and size. Most people sort themselves out but some require a little help.)

Customer: *points at shoes* “You have this in 41?”

Me: “Yes, it should be there.”

(I get up to check when she doesn’t move to take them, thinking they may have run out. However, they’re where they should be, so I hand it to her and she tries them on. They’re slightly small.)

Customer: “Give me another.”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t have that one in a larger size.”

Customer: “No, not larger, another!” *she points towards identical ones in different colours*

Me: “Those are the same brand; they’ll fit the same…”

Customer: “Yes! Yes! Same brand!”

(I give up and give her a different colour that fits her identically.)

Customer: “Yes, perfect. I’ll take them.”

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