Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Refunder Blunder, Part 18

| USA | Crazy Requests, Money

Customer: “I see these earmuffs in your catalog and I really would like to have them, but I don’t have enough money on my credit card to get them right now because I was buying gifts. Soooo, I want to cancel an order I placed yesterday so that won’t charge on my card, and that will free it up some.”

Me: “I apologize. Your order placed yesterday has already been processed and you will receive it within 6-8 business days. I cannot cancel the order at this time.”

Customer: “Can’t you just take a pair of the earmuffs out of your warehouse and hold them aside for me until I have enough credit on my card?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, we cannot hold merchandise aside in anticipation of someone ordering it.”

Customer: “Well, do this… I am returning $400 worth of stuff to you today. Once I get the tracking number, I’ll call you so you can go ahead and process the return and credit my credit card, so I can order these earmuffs before they sell out.”

Me: *trying to keep it together* “My apologies again, ma’am. We cannot process your return until it actually arrives to our facility…”

Customer: “Can I speak to a supervisor? It’s not you; it’s just that sometimes they can do things you can’t…”

Refunder Blunder, Part 17
Refunder Blunder, Part 16
Refunder Blunder, Part 15

The New Fragrance From Soylent Green

| Dublin, Ireland | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work in a department store, in the fragrance department. I was showing two guys our newest fragrance for men.)

Customer: “Have you ever seen the movie Perfume?”

Me: “Yyyeesssss…”

Customer: “Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “You mean… perfume made of people?”

Customer: “Well, one of them was made of hair.”

Me: “No. I do not have any perfumes made of human hair.”

Customer: “Hmm. Okay, thanks.”

Nearby Female Customer: *laugh-snorts, then runs away*

(The guy then stood there for a further 30 seconds while I looked at him awkwardly before he wandered away.)

How To Make Me Blue

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests

(I design and create jewelry for my own business. I often take custom requests.)

Customer: “I like that piece you made, but I’d really like it in blue.”

Me: “Okay, here are the blue beads you can choose from.”

Customer: “Well, I want a blue, but not too blue. Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “These are what I have available. If you would like me to place a special order for a different shade of blue, I’d be happy to.”

(Customer looks over the options and chooses the same darn shade I offered her. I finish the piece and send her photos.)

Customer: “Wow, that’s really… blue.”

Me: “Indeed. Those are the beads you selected.”

Customer: “Hmm. Can you make it in red?”

(Cut to me, crying and drinking in the corner.)

Pinot No No

| Lake District, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work on the bar of a small restaurant that attracts a lot of upscale clientele. Our selection of wines is large for the size of the business, but we only have eight that we do by the glass (the house wines). A well-dressed gentleman aged around fifty approaches.)

Me: “Good evening, sir.”

Customer: “I’ll have a small glass of Pinot Grigio.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have a Pinot by the glass. We do have a dry Italian white that is similar, though.”

Customer: *as though I’d slapped him across the face* “What kind of place is this? I’ve never heard of a restaurant not having a house Pinot Grigio. What else do you have?”

Me: “We have the Italian white, which as I said is similar to a Pinot grape, as well as Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay.”

Customer: “But you do sell Pinot Grigio?”

Me: “By the bottle, yes. It’s £18.95.”

Customer: “Then I’ll have a small glass of that. How hard is that to understand?”

Me: *losing patience* “We do not sell that particular wine by the glass, sir. If I open the bottle, I am required to charge you for the entire bottle and not just one glass. What I can serve you by the glass is this particular dry white –” *picking up the bottle* “– which is the most similar to a Pinot Grigio we have.”

Customer: *sighs* “Fine, I’ll try that one.”

(I pour him a small glass of the Italian white. He proceeds to aerate the wine as though he is a professional wine taster, before smelling it, sipping it and smiling.)

Customer: “Yes, this is a lovely Pinot Grigio. I’ll take a bottle, please.”

Me: *head-bangs the wall after he leaves*

Well, Tough Sheet

| Cambridge, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I am working at the customer service desk when I see an older couple walking in carrying a large trash bag. When they get up to my desk, the first thing the woman pulls out is a gallon-size ziplock bag filled with lint.)

Customer: “We bought these flannel sheets the other day and look at all the lint that collected in the lint trap when I washed them!” *motioning to the bag of lint*

Me: *trying to think fast, as I do not clean out the lint trap on my dryer as often as I should* “Okay, is there something wrong with the sheets?”

Customer: “They shed too much. For [price] I would expect better. I want a refund.”

Me: *not trying to sound too know it all, or trying to avoid the refund, I say…* “These sheets are actually known for giving off a lot of lint on the first wash, but are great sheets after that. I am happy to refund your money, but perhaps you would like to give them a try?”

Customer: “This amount of lint could start our house on fire! NO! I do not want to try them. I want my money back!”

(I processed their return, putting the money back onto their store credit card. I later noticed them purchasing at the registers the same exact set of sheets in a different color, and I wondered how long until they brought me a new bag of lint.)

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