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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Obituary Required For Common Sense

| Perth, WA, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work in online death notices. As we’re based in Australia, it’s worth noting from the outset that the caller had a Canadian accent.)

Caller: “Yeah, hi. I’m listed on your site, but I’m not dead.”

Me: “Oh no! Let me check this out for you. What name was it?”

Caller: “[Name].”

Me: “Yes, I see the listing. Just let me check something.”

(We do sometimes get incorrect notices for people who are alive, mostly imported from old archive records.)

Me: “This is strange; the listing was posted yesterday from [Funeral Home].”

Caller: “Well, it needs to come down.”

Me: “Where are you calling from, by the way?”

Caller: “[City] in Canada.”

Me: “Okay, well, this listing is for a [Name] from [Suburb of Sydney], so it’s not you.”

Caller: “But it’s my name!”

Me: “Yes, but this person had the same name.”

Caller: “People are going to Google me and think I’m dead. I’m applying for jobs, and I’m not going to get hired if people think I’m dead.”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t remove the listing as the family of the deceased has requested it be online.”

Caller: “Can you change the name on the listing?”

Me: “No, if I did that the people who were looking for this person’s listing would not be able to find it.”

Caller: “I need a contact number for a family member for this guy. He must have had a nickname or something they can use.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t give you that information. There’s nothing I can really do for you here. I’m sure any potential employer will understand you’re not dead.”

Caller: “I just don’t understand why my name is even there.”

Me: “It’s very rare for a name to be completely unique. If you keep Googling you’ll probably find a lot of people with your name.”

Caller: “Well, make it stop!”

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Cannot Register The Rules Of The Registry

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A woman comes up to the guest service counter and asks if I can take an item she wants to purchase off a gift registry. I tell her that shouldn’t be a problem and begin the transaction, but notice that the vacuum she is purchasing isn’t the one listed on the registry.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this isn’t the right vacuum.”

Guest: “Oh, I know. But the one on the registry is a piece of crap, so I’m buying her this one instead.”

Me: “Ah, I see. Well, I can give you a gift receipt, but since it’s not the same one, I can’t take it off the registry.”

(The guest is already becoming visibly irritated.)

Guest: “Well, why not? I said I’m getting her this one so she won’t need that piece of crap. The one she wanted is a piece of crap and this one’s better!”

Me: “That may be, but since this is not your registry, it’s not your decision. I cannot take an item off of someone else’s registry just because you think they shouldn’t be asking for it. I’ll get you a gift receipt and she can make her own decision about which one she wants to keep, but that’s all I can do for you.”

(She stood there for several more seconds, clearly not understanding why I couldn’t just delete items from someone else’s registry, but eventually paid for the vacuum, snatched the gift receipt out of my hand, and stormed off, bitching to her husband the whole time.)

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Reached Your Tea Total, Part 4

| WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(My manager takes an order at the front counter, then comes over to tell me the details.)

Manager: “You see that tea order? They want a couple extra teabags, and a large take away cup.”

(I go to rummage through the cupboard to find the boxes of tea for the rarely-ordered green tea they ask for.)

Customer: *clears throat*

Me: “I’ll just be a moment, sorry!”

Customer: “Tea!”

Me: “Oh, you’re waiting on the tea? Did you want two or three tea bags?”

Customer: “Three.”

Me: “Great, I’m just working on that now.”

(I get the teabags, and the cup, and as I’m moving towards the hot water:)

Customer: “White!”

Me: “No problem.”

(Then, as I am putting the water in it:)

Customer: “White. White!”

Me: “Yes, I’ll put milk in it; don’t worry.”

Customer: “Five sugars. White!”

Me: “You want five sugars?”

Customer: “Yes. And white!”

Me: “All right, just a moment.”

(Before I add the milk, I go to put the sugars in so that they can dissolve in the water properly. After three spoonful’s of sugar, she practically shouts:)

Customer: “That’s enough.”

(I go to stir the sugar in.)

Customer: “White. White!”

Me: “Yes, just a moment.”

(I pour the milk in, stop when she says, and hand it to her. She walks off without a word, and goes and chats perfectly normally to the manager.)

Related:
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 3
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 2
Reached Your Tea Total

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Foiled Their Plans

| Hattiesburg, MS, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I am a customer service manager at a local grocery store. I hear this conversation between one of my cashiers and a customer.)

Coworker: “Okay, sir, four dollars is left after your EBT card. It is for the aluminum foil.”

Customer: “Why didn’t my EBT card pay for that?”

Coworker: “It isn’t food, sir….”

Customer: “Will it work if I get another brand?”

Coworker: “No, sir… it still isn’t food.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Coworker: “Yes…”

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Giving Them The Milk-Shakedown

, | Warwick, RI, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m taking late night orders at the drive-thru. Two very heavily intoxicated women come through.)

Customer: “We’d like two milkshakes.”

Me: “Apologies. As it is a half hour before we close, our ice cream and shake machine has been shut down and disassembled for the night

Customer: “But we just came from the bar! You can’t do this to us! We need our shakes!”

(After trying to reason with them, my very sarcastic manager takes over.)

Manager: “Well, I suppose we could reassemble the machine, fill it up, wait minutes for the mix to freeze up to make your shakes, and then we can just break it all down again after.”

(Most people would see this as pure sarcasm, but it would seem the women are too far gone to get it.)

Customer: “Thank you! We’ll wait while you do that.”

(My manager gave up, told them to have a great night and took off his headset. They sat there for a few minutes before driving off. Some people don’t take a hint.)

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