Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 6

| Norfolk, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I am working for an insurance company when I get a customer who has fallen behind on his payments. His policy is about to lapse because it has been almost 14 days since his payment was due. He tells me he doesn’t want to pay any more, but still wants to keep his policy and asks if there is anything I can do – some discount or special arrangement we can make.)

Me: “I can place a hold on the account for a week if that helps. It’ll give you more time to get some money together to pay. But that’s all I can do. I should warn you, though, that until you catch up your payments, you are not covered. Should you need to make a claim you will have to clear the outstanding balance first.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not good enough. Look, it’s just insurance. Just let me have it.”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. If you do not pay it within a week’s time, your policy will lapse. In other words it will cancel itself—”

Customer: “I don’t want to cancel my policy! I want it but I can’t afford to pay you, so you should let me off.”

Me: “If you want to continue your policy, you must pay the balance you owe. As I said, I am happy to hold your account for a week, but that is the longest I can hold it because it has been almost 14 days since your last payment was due. You need to pay by [Date]. After that, your policy will cancel automatically. If your policy lapses you will not be covered at all and will have to take out a new policy in order to be covered again. Also, if you allow your policy to lapse, you will not be able to open another policy with us unless you pay it annually – meaning you will not be able to spread your payments over the year like with your current policy.”

Customer: “No, no, no. You are not listening to me. I want to be covered; I need my insurance. I just can’t afford to give any more money. Is there some discount I can get?”

Me: “You were given a 15% discount when you signed up. You cannot get any more mid-policy. You must get your payments up to date.”

Customer: “This is terrible customer service. If you want me as a customer, you should let me keep the insurance and write off the rest of the balance.”

Me: “I cannot do that. Your only options are to pay what you owe by [Date], or let the policy lapse and go uninsured.”

Customer: “This is disgusting. The full policy is only £50. I’m a loyal customer! You can let me off the rest. You’re just money grubbing b******s. All you care about is your profits. You don’t care about your customers at all!”

Me: “If you opened a shop, would give away all your goods to anyone who asked?”

Customer: “Of course. It would get the word out about the business and win me lots of customers.”

Me: “How long do you think you’d stay in business if nobody paid for anything?”

Customer: “Well, that’s different. Insurance doesn’t cost you anything.”

Me: “Of course it does. The company has to pay staff like me, and for premises like the one I am working in, and the phone lines you are calling. And most importantly, the whole point of insurance is that if something goes wrong, the insurer will give you money to fix it. Where do you think that money comes from?”

Customer: “Well, just letting me have a free policy won’t hurt. It’s only £50. Besides, I’ve already paid something. You should let me have the rest for free.”

Me: “If we let every customer do that, we wouldn’t make any money.”

Customer: “I’m not asking you to let every customer have it for free! I’m just asking for me! It’s not f****** hard.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t give you your policy for free. You have a week to get the money together, otherwise your policy will lapse and you won’t be covered.”

Customer: “You’re the worst customer service person I have ever dealt with. You should be ashamed of yourself. If I had a business, I’d never hire you. You’ve lost yourself a customer. Give me your name right now!”

Me: “Certainly, sir. It’s [My Name], extension [extension number]; my manager is [Manager]. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yeah. Go and learn proper customer service and some d*** manners.” *hangs up*

(I put a one-week hold on the account anyway just in case he wanted to call and pay, but added a note detailing our conversation. The customer sent a complaint letter saying I was rude and that our customer service was bad and that we didn’t care about our customers. He then called up a month after the policy expired to pay his balance. As I warned, his policy had lapsed and it could not be re-opened. He shouted at my colleague when they couldn’t re-open his policy, and got angry when he was told the only way he could be insured by us was to open a new policy, and that he would have to pay annually, just as I told him a month ago. He accused my colleague of trying to extort him and said he would go elsewhere. Then he hung up. He sent another complaint letter, saying it was all my fault, that I never told him his policy would lapse, that I promised to hold the account for a month, and that I told him he could pay what he wanted when he wanted. The complaint was not upheld because the recorded call proved I told him several times how long he had to pay, what would happen if he didn’t pay, and also that I had most certainly not told him he could pay what he wanted when he wanted.)

Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 5
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 4
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 3

A Cents-less Argument

| Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(I used to work in a supermarket in Australia. Over here the lowest form of physical currency is a 5c piece. So if someone pays in cash, everything rounds up or down to the nearest 5c. In this story I had only been working at the place for a few months and a lady walked over to the register with just a few baby chilies.)

Me: “All right, your total comes to 17c.” *which rounds down to 15*

Customer: “That price is wrong.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “That’s not the right price per kilogram.”

(We check the price in the produce department and find she had been looking at the price for regular red chilies, which are cheaper than the hot baby chilies. By now one of my co-workers is with me helping me with the price check)

Coworker: “Okay, the cheaper price is for large chilies. This is the price for the baby chilies.”

Customer: “No, it said [price].”

Me: “No, you’ve read the wrong price. That’s for the large chilies.”

(My supervisor has noticed the commotion and comes over asking what’s going on. My coworker and I explain:)

Supervisor: “It’s too late to be dealing with this; I’ll just give it to her for that price.”

(Enters in a correction and walks away.)

Me: “Okay, so now your total is 13c.”

(I’m pretty confused at this point wondering why she went to so much trouble when if she’s paying cash, it would’ve come to 15c regardless seeing as thirteen rounds up to 15.)

Customer: “Well, since YOU were wrong, aren’t I supposed to get it for free?”

Me: “Okay, for starters; we’re not wrong. You were wrong and we’re just letting it go this time. So the scanning policy doesn’t apply.”

Coworker: “[Supervisor] is right; this isn’t worth the trouble. Just take the chilies!”

(Customer leaves.)

Me: “All that trouble for fifteen flipping cents.”

Won’t Be Party To Your Crazy Requests

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(A customer comes in a few minutes after we open at 10 am. He spends half an hour looking around and photographing items. Then he approaches the counter where I’m processing new inventory.)

Customer: “What time do you close?”

Me: “6:30 pm.”

Customer: “No, today. What time do you close today?”

Me: “6:30 pm.”

Customer: “But it’s Saturday.”

Me: “Right.”

Customer: “I have a party until 7. Will you be open after 7?”

Me: “I’m afraid not; we close at 6:30.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just ridiculous.”

Me: “Could I help you find something right now, while you’re here?”

Customer: “I want to buy some things but I don’t want to take them to the party.”

Me: “Well, you could purchase them now and pick them up another day at your convenience!”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “We have two other locations; maybe you’ll be closer to [Location #1] or [Location #2]?”

Customer: “No, I never go there.”

Me: “You can always stop back in another day and purchase your items.”

Customer: “No, I want them today.”

Me: “Well… I’m afraid I’m out of suggestions.”

Customer: “So, you don’t want my business?”

Me: “I would love to help you, if you want to purchase your items while the store is open.”

Customer: “So you’re not going to help me?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you want me to do?”

Customer: “How about I get your phone number and you come let me in when I’m done with my party?”

Me: “…no.”

Customer: “Well, I guess you don’t want my business.”

Me: “I guess not.”

(He left.)

Park That Attitude

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I am visiting a popular tourist area on a busy day. I turn into a lot that you can park in that is attended by a single employee. There are other lots, but this one is closer to the attractions, which is why it is full up. There is a sign that says that you pay in order to exit, but I’m not sure there is a free spot. I stop by his booth first.)

Me: “Hey, the lot looks pretty full. Would I still be charged if I don’t find a spot?”

Attendant: “Nah. I’ll keep an eye on you. If you don’t find a spot, I won’t charge you.”

Me: “Thank you!”

(I drive through and start looking. A few minutes in, I can’t find a space and another car enters the lot to do the same thing. I decide to leave. The other car stops by a median for whatever reason. On my way out, a space opens up near the exit and I am happy about my good luck finding a spot. The other car sees me and zooms over.)

Driver: “Hey! What do you think you’re doing?!”

Me: “Huh? I parked.”

(I walk away. I’m not interested in talking to this guy. The attendant is watching and can hear everything.)

Driver: “That was my space!”

Me: *incredulous look* “What? You were on the other side of the lot. Don’t be ridiculous.”

(I keep walking. At this point, his passenger gets out of the car.)

Passenger: “That was a rotten thing to do!”

Me: “Lady, I got here first and found a spot first. Go across the street.”

Passenger: *to her husband* “Can you believe this?!” *to me* “You spoiled brat! Get in your car and move it right now!”

(I’m 30. I haven’t been called a brat in quite a while. The lady isn’t all that much older than me and I don’t look much younger than my age.)

Me: “Yeah, that’s not happening. Get back in your car and drive away. You are both being absolutely ridiculous.”

Driver: “If you don’t move your car, I’ll f****** move it myself.”

(At this point, the attendant walks over.)

Attendant: “Sir, you need to keep moving. If you can’t find a space, leave the lot.”

Driver: “Don’t f****** tell me what to do! You saw this whore steal the spot from us just now!”

Me: “WHORE?! SERIOUSLY?!”

(The attendant stuck his arm out in a gesture of “Hey, I got this.”)

Attendant: “That language is out of line. I’m asking you to leave immediately.”

(The passenger steps toward him with her arms out.)

Passenger: “Are you kidding me?! You SAW what happened! Do something about it!”

Attendant: “I did see what happened. This lady got here six minutes before you. She found a space while you were attempting to park on the median. I’ve taken your license plate down and if you don’t leave, I will be calling the police to remove you from the lot.”

Passenger: “[Driver], Can you believe this?! What has the world come to!”

Driver: “F****** incredible.”

Passenger: “I want to talk to your supervisor. You give me his number and I’m going to tell him what kind of person you are.”

Attendant: “I AM the supervisor and I’m politely declining your unnecessary feedback. Leave immediately.”

(The passenger is absolutely livid when she gets back inside. Her husband is just cursing loudly. The driver gets to the gate, which is blocked off, of course. The attendant takes his sweet time getting there to let him out. I hang back to watch the exchange. The driver has a few more choice words for the attendant before he is let out. I wait for the car to leave and walk up to his booth.)

Me: “Are you seriously the supervisor or do you have a boss that I could call and tell him what kind of person you are?”

Attendant: *smiling* “Nah, here’s my company’s number. They own all the lots here.”

(I did have a nice time and didn’t have to worry about having to hike back to my car since I found such a good space. Needless to say, I gave the attendant a nice little tip on my way out!)

Lattes And Sugar And Foam, Oh My

| Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(During an average shift at my café:)

Me: “Large latte!”

Customer: “No! I ordered a cappuccino with no foam!”

Me: “Oh, sorry. Same thing. Latte is cappuccino with no foam”

Customer: “You’re all useless!”

(A little later:)

Me: “Two lattes and a mocha.”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God I ordered a mocha and two lattes!”

Me: “…”

(A little later:)

Customer #3: *demands to see which skim milk we use to ensure it’s skim enough* “Okay, that will do. And I’ll have some whip cream on top, too.”

Me: “…”

(A little later:)

Me: “Would you like any sugar in your take away coffee?”

Customer #4: “No, sugar is POISON. I’ll have nine sweeteners.”

Me: “Sorry, was that nine?”

(It was. A little later:)

Customer #5: “I’ll have a caramel iced coffee without the caramel.”

Me: “So just a regular iced coffee?” *caramel ice coffee is a dollar more*

Customer: “CARAMEL ice coffee, just no caramel. Are you awake? Jeez.”

Me: “No worries.”

(I could write a novel.)

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