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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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You Cheap What You Sow

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work in a small town hardware store with a garden center. There’s a city a few kilometers away that brings in a lot of traffic, especially during the spring and summer months. A woman approaches the cash registers with a daisy plant. There are several stalks on the plant but about two or three of them are broken.)

Customer: “I was in here yesterday and you had some really nice plants like this, but this is the only one left. Can I get a discount because it’s broken and ugly?”

Me: “Well, we don’t usually give discounts on plants, and there’s only a few broken stalks. I’m sure it’s perfectly healthy.”

Customer: “I don’t want to pay $6 for such an ugly plant. I think I’ll just go to [Competitor]. I don’t even think the poor thing’ll survive.”

Me: “I can get [Coworker] over here. She works more in that department and maybe she can work something out.”

(I page my coworker to come to the registers. All the while this lady keeps repeating the same stuff about how she’d get a better deal at [Competitor] and is generally acting like she’s doing us a favor by buying the plant. I should mention that this woman’s voice is like the human version of the caps lock key. She isn’t yelling or anything, but she’s talking unnecessarily loudly, and it’s grating on my ears. My coworker shows up a minute later.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “This plant is ugly and broken and I think I should get a discount on it. If I don’t, I’m going to [Competitor].”

(Since we have a reputation for being one of the friendliest stores in the general area, we decide to give her a dollar off. That’s below our cost by about seventy cents and we’d be losing money, but there’s a bit of a line behind her and we just want her to leave.)

Me: “Okay, we talked it over, and we can give the plant to you for $5, but that’s the lowest we can go.”

Customer: “I’ll take it. You wouldn’t be able to sell this thing for full price anyway.”

(She then proceeded to pay for her $5 purchase with a $100 bill.)

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Has Beef With Your Steak

| SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am a waitress at a very busy Italian wedding. When we start serving the main course, we do the bridal and parent tables first, then we start at table one and work through to the last table. I’m going out to table six with five plates. As I cross the ballroom, one of the guests unexpectedly grabs my arm, nearly causing me to drop a plate.)

Guest: *pointing to one plate* “What’s that, the steak?”

Me: *very aware that seconds are ticking by and stopping to chat will mess up the entire flow of staff* “Yes, sir, the scotch fillet.”

Guest: “Ah, yes, that’s mine.”

(There were two options for the main course: steak or chicken. We had over 100 steak orders.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, these are going to another table. But I can promise that your meal will be ready very soon.”

Guest: “But that’s mine! I’ve been waiting fifteen minutes!”

(We hadn’t even been serving mains for fifteen minutes. I quickly apologise and go to drop the meals at the correct table. On the way back I hear him talking to his friend:)

Guest: “Can you believe it? That idiot waitress gave my meal to someone else!”

(I went back into the kitchen and the entire wait staff had a good laugh about it. Some people are so oblivious!)

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Don’t Have A Cow, Man, Part 2

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a pub that mainly caters to people drinking but also has a small menu for those looking to eat.)

Customer: “There’s not much on the menu for my family of vegans.”

Me: “I’d be happy to ask our chef to make some alterations for you.”

Customer: “Great, in that case we will have…” *lists four meals all with major alterations that come to resemble nothing from our menu*

Me: “Okay, I’ll see what we can do.”

(I speak to the kitchen and luckily they are happy to make these changes. During the wait, the customer comes up several times to ensure the food will be vegan-friendly. When I deliver the meals to their table…)

Me: “Here you go. Can I get anything else for you?”

Customer: “Mayonnaise.”

Related:
Don’t Have A Cow, Man

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Putting You Into A Real Allergen Pickle

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(There was a regular who would come around at least once a week in the drive-thru on my shift. Every single time, some variant of this conversation would happen.)

Regular: “I want a [Famous Sandwich] combo with a bottle of water. No pickles on the sandwich; I’m allergic.”

Me: “Did you still want the sauce on it, then? There’s a LOT of pickles in the sauce.”

Regular: “No, I can have the sauce. Just no pickles.”

(This continues, with me being legally obligated to warn him about the sauce every single time, until the following:)

Me: “There’s a LOT of pickles in the sauce.”

Regular: “No! I still want the sauce. I’m just allergic to the texture of pickles!”

(That’s right: allergic to the ‘texture.’ We all figured he just wanted grounds to demand compensation if we messed up and added them.)

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Going To Racism At Break-Neck(lace) Speed

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I work as an usher, and one of my duties is to clean up the theater once it lets out. I am also black.)

Manager: *answering the phone* “Hello? This is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: ‘Yes, I was at the theater the other day and I lost my necklace. I think that black usher took it.”

Manager: “Okay, ma’am. I’m sorry you lost your necklace, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t take it.”

Customer: “But he’s always cleaning out the theaters once the movie is over. He had to have come across it.”

Manager: “Yes, that’s his job, and anything he finds, he turns in up front.”

Customer: “Just confront him about it. I’m pretty sure that he has it.”

(A few days later, she calls back.)

Manager: “Hello, this is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like to apologize. I called the other day about losing a necklace, and I thought that your usher took it. Turns out it was in the bottom of my purse the whole time.”

Manager: “Ah, I see…’

Customer: ‘Um… he didn’t get into any trouble over this, did he?”

Manager: “No, because I trust him.”

(He didn’t even tell me about any of this until some time later.)

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