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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Lychee Nailing Jelly To The Wall

| Berkeley, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A customer walks in to our boba shop and wants to order a slushy.)

Cashier: “Your drink comes with two free toppings and they are lychee jelly and tapioca. Would you like that in your drink or would you like to change it?”

Customer: “I want the boba; how much is it?”

Cashier: “So no lychee jelly, just boba? All right, that would be $3.50.”

(The customer pays and waits for the drink. The order is ready and the customer picks it up.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what happened to the lychee jelly?”

Cashier: “You said you don’t want it so we didn’t put it in.”

Customer: “No, I mean what did you do with it since I didn’t want it?”

Cashier: *wants to say “I ate it” but can’t* “The lychee jelly is usually chilling in the fridge.”

Customer: *looking worried and upset* “Tell me the truth; you guys must have done something to it since I turned it down!”

(Really, the toppings you don’t want will stay out of your cup and be cool in the fridge. In the whole process, no toppings were mistreated or harmed.)

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When Your Customer Is A Very Heavy Smoker

| Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: *on phone* “Hi, do you have smoke bombs to get rid of animals indoors?”

Me: “Yes, we do carry smoke bombs, but the only ones we have are for outside; you light the bomb and put it in the burrow or the hole the animal’s living in and the smoke drives them out.”

Customer: “Why wouldn’t that work indoors?”

Me: “They’re really not designed to be set off anywhere but outside…”

Customer: “But I just need to get rid of some animals in a little crevice in my house. I could use those smoke bombs for that, right?”

Me: “I really would not advise that.”

Customer: “But why not, though? Can you tell me why it wouldn’t work?”

Me: “Um… let me put my manager on the phone.”

(I put the customer on hold and call my manager over to get him to pick up the phone to help the customer.)

Manager: “What’s up?”

Me: “Would you care to explain to someone why they cannot set off outdoor smoke bombs inside their house?”

Manager: “Oh, you can set smoke bombs off in your house no problem. Just as long as you don’t mind being asphyxiated from the fumes a few minutes later.”

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Busy-ness Model

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I am the general manager of a large Irish pub in a city centre. It’s a Saturday night, we have a live band playing, and the pub is extremely busy, I’m standing on the front door with the door man.)

Customer: *walking out of front door* “It’s disgusting. It’s too busy in there.”

Me: “I’m sorry; what is the problem?”

Customer: *getting irate* “It’s too busy; there are too many people and I have to wait to get served.”

Me: “It is a Saturday night and there is a band playing. It’s often this busy.”

Customer: “It’s disgusting. I’m never coming back!”

Me: “I’m sorry that our business model is clearly working.”