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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Cocktail Fail

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at the bar of a venue that holds specific functions.)

Customer: “Hi. Do you do cocktails?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re not able to do cocktails tonight.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Can I just get an espresso martini then?”

Me: “…Um, no.”

Things Are Looking Up

| Towson, MD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a trainer at a place known for its broccoli cheddar soup. Generally, our customers are pleasant, but recently one of my newer trainees was taking orders when a middle aged woman comes up to her.)

Cashier: “Hi! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: *rudely* “I’ll have [sandwich] and [soup]. To go.”

Cashier: “Okay! That will be [total]. Anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “You can get me your manager! Now!”

Cashier: *taken aback* “Oh… okay, sure thing!”

Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “This cashier kept looking at me!”

Manager: “…I’m sorry, she looked at you?”

Customer: “YES. She kept looking at me while taking my order! It was so disrespectful!”

Manager: *dramatically covers her eyes with her hand* “Oh, I am SO sorry, ma’am. Please excuse our disrespect!” *exaggeratedly fumbles for receipt with eyes closed* “Is there anything else we can do for you today?”

(The woman storms out without her food.)

Cashier: *to me* “Can I go on break and not look at anyone for a few minutes?”

Not Quite The Speedy Resolution

| Lincoln, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work for a non-emergency hotline for the local police department. I take calls from the public that don’t need emergency services and, as a result, talk to a lot of people who aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the box.)

Caller: “I want to make a report of a crime.”

Me: “All right, ma’am, can you tell me what happened?”

Caller: “I was driving on the interstate yesterday, and I saw four motorcycles speeding.”

Me: “Okay?”

Caller: “I have their plate numbers too. They are…” *gives numbers*

Me: “Okay?”

Caller: “Well? Aren’t you going to do anything about it?”

Me: “Ma’am, what do you want me to do with this?”

Caller: “Something! They broke the law and they should be punished.”

Me: “Ma’am, they might have broken the law, but unless an officer actually saw them doing it… then we have no proof. We can’t go around arresting people without proof.”

Caller: “But I SAW them!”

Me: “But you are not a member of the police force. We can’t arrest someone based solely on your witness statement. There has to be some other form of evidence.”

Caller: “Plenty of other people saw them, too!”

Me: “But none of them have called us. Even if they did, we still wouldn’t pursue those bikers just based on eyewitness statements. We would let the officer present make that call.”

Caller: “What do you expect me to do? I was DRIVING! I wasn’t going to risk MY life by trying to take a video! Those men are going to kill someone someday!”

Me: “It’s very good you didn’t take video while driving, but there’s nothing you can do. The police didn’t see it happen, so on our end nothing did happen.”

Caller: “I gave you their plate numbers. I want you to look up their addresses and write them very strongly worded letters so they understand that what they did was wrong.”

Me: “Ma’am… I’m not going to do that.”

Caller: “THIS IS SUCH A WASTE OF MY TAX DOLLARS! I CALLED YOU EXPECTING JUSTICE TO BE SERVED, BUT INSTEAD I GET SOME CRAP ABOUT YOU NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING UNLESS AN OFFICER SEES IT! HOW DARE YOU TREAT THE PUBLIC YOU PROTECT AND SERVE LIKE THIS!”

(She continues to rant about how useless the department is and how she won’t stand for her money being wasted like this. I am now really annoyed, and trying not to tell the woman how she is the one wasting our time and money.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, I’ve found something I can do for you. I will pass your message on to someone else.”

Caller: “FINALLY! I hope you’re happy that you’ve wasted so much of my time with this!”

Me: “Not at all, ma’am, but I do wish you a good rest of your day. Drive safely. ”

(After hanging up, I turn to the dispatcher sitting next to me.)

Me: “Hey.”

Coworker: “What’s up?”

Me: “The lady I just talked to, she saw some bikers speeding on the interstate. I told her I’d tell someone about it. There you go.”