Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Brothers In Arms

, | Port Charlotte, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(My younger brother and I both manage at a chain pizza place in our local mall. Although five years apart we regularly get asked if we are twins. One Sunday morning after a long night of drinking we are both working. He is in the back room prepping food; I am out front manning the register. A customer walks up and asks the price of a slice of pizza. Had he turned his head 30 degrees left he’d have seen the price board right next to him.)

Customer: “How much for a slice of pepperoni?”

Me: *turning my head slowly and slightly toward the price board* “$1.79 according to the board.”

Customer: *immediately irate* “I want to see your manager right now!”

Me: “Okay, let me get him for you.” *slowly walk through swinging door to kitchen on left side of service area* “Hey, bro, some guy out front wants to talk to the manager.”

(My brother walks out front by way of the other door to see what he can do for the man.)

Brother: “Yes, sir, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I told you, I want to see the manager.”

(My brother walks back in the same door he used.)

Brother: “He says he wants to talk to you now.”

(I walk back out front through the same door I had previously used.)

Me: “Yes, sir, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “How many times do I have to tell you? I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER!”

(I walk into the back again and tell my brother he’s needed by the customer again, brother then goes back out the door he’s been using.)

Brother: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “F***! I told you to get the manager! Now don’t you move a step. Call the manager out here so we can all have words.”

Brother: *pushes the door open and shouts to the back* “Hey, come on out here. Now he wants to talk to both of us.”

(I walk out front, and smile broadly at the customer.)

Me: “Yes, sir? How may WE help you?”

(Looking back and forth between us.)

Customer: “Well, obviously I’m not going to get anything done here!”

Me & Brother: *simultaneously* “Nope.”

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“Birth” Defect

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Where do you keep your ‘birth checkers’?”

Me: “If by ‘birth checkers’ you actually mean our pregnancy tests… aisle eight, right-hand side, top shelf.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know if an ultrasound can tell if the baby is white or black?”

Me: “…”

Smoking Before She Even Gets Cigarettes, Part 2

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

Customer: “Could I buy cigarettes on my card? I have just enough to pay for them but not enough to pull money from the ATM.”

Me: “Of course, got ID?”

Customer: *hands me ID*

Me: “What kind you need?”

Customer: “[Cheap Brand].”

Me: *grabs cigarette, rings up* “Okay, your total is [close to $8].”

Customer: *hands me her card; it’s an EBT for food stamps*

Me: “I’m sorry, you can’t purchase tobacco on these cards.”

Customer: “But you just said I could!”

Me: “I apologize, but that was before I knew it was an EBT card—”

Customer: “The other lady who works here lets me buy them all the time!”

Me: “You’re not allowed to purchase alcohol, tobacco, or any type of lottery on a state issued EBT card.”

(She just continues to argue with me before stomping out of the store. Later in the day she comes back with two other women, staring at me and complaining about how “this b***h wouldn’t sell me the cigarettes!”)

Me: *talking to the other women* “Hi, what can I get you?”

(The second lady throws wad of crumpled ones on counter and demands the same cigarettes brand. The first lady continues complaining to the third lady.)

Me: “Thanks, have a nice day!”

(I turned around to clean something while those three complained all the way out the door.)

Related:
Smoking Before She Even Gets Cigarettes

You Say Potato, I Say A**-Hole

| IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a shift manager at a deli so whenever there is a problem, I usually handle it. A family comes in and gets their food. The guy eats all of his baked potato except for the skin. He ventures up to me to complain.)

Guest: “This potato is disgusting. The skin is dry.”

Me: “I can get you another one if you would like.”

Guest: *rudely* “That is your job.”

(I go back and find the softest potato and cook it myself. Keep in mind he already ate the whole thing, just not the skin.)

Me: “All right, here you go. Sorry about that.”

Guest: *squishes the whole potato* “Nope, dry again.”

Me: “Can I get you—”

Guest: “—absolutely not. I want a refund.”

(He then chucked a fork into my side.)

Sadly, There IS A Doctor In The House

| Manhattan, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work at a very upscale store in Manhattan. A lot of our clientele are successful business folk with expensive tastes.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you come over here a moment?”

(I walk over to where a sour faced female customer in a pricey but nondescript business suit is giving me a death glare.)

Manager: “Is this the gentleman who served you?”

Customer: “That’s him! You are a disgrace, you know that?”

Me: “I… um… I’m sorry, but what did I do to upset you?”

Customer: “Are you serious? The entire transaction you constantly referred to me as ‘ma’am’ and ‘miss’!”

Me: *now even more confused* “Yes, I was being polite?”

Customer: “Polite? I’m a doctor you idiot! DOC-TOR! Can you say that word? Doooc-tooor? Do you know what it means?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I know what—”

Customer: “There you go again! It’s DOCTOR! Not ma’am!” *to my manager* “Seriously, is this what [Clothing Store] has been reduced to?”

Manager: “Uh, first off, ma’am…”

Customer: “DOCTOR!”

Manager: “Right, doctor, did you perchance tell my associate that you wished to be addressed as such?”

Customer: “Well, no. He should’ve known!”

Manager: “Really? Did you show him any ID confirming you were a doctor?”

Customer: “No, I shouldn’t have to.”

Manager: “Is your title stated anywhere? Say on your driver’s license?”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “Then, may I ask, how is he supposed to know you’re a doctor if you didn’t give him any indication of such?”

Customer: “What? Well I’m wearing a nice and expensive suit for one!”

Manager: “Uh… so is every other customer in the store currently, ma’am.”

Customer: “IT’S DOCTOR! NOT MA’AM! You know what? Forget it! I’m never shopping here again if you’re all this incompetent!”

(She storms out.)

Me: “So… am I in trouble?”

Manager: “Oh, no… Well, unless you’re unlucky enough to visit whatever medical practice she works at. Geeez!”

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