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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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That Last Part Is The Icing On The Pancake

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It’s Sunday morning, during our breakfast menu.)

Me: *hearing the door open* “Good morning!”

Customer: “Do you guys have any platters where I can just get sausage and eggs?”

Me: *searching through the options on the screen* “Hey, [Coworker], do we have platters without pancakes?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

Me: “He wants to get just eggs and sausage on a platter.”

Coworker: “We can ring him up just the sides.”

Customer: “How much would that be?”

Me: *ringing up the eggs and sausage* “It’s gonna be about $5. Did you want to try the ultimate?”

Customer: “What does it come with?”

Me: “It has the eggs, sausage, we’ll replace the pancakes with another side of sausage. And you get a side of hashbrowns with it.”

Customer: “Bacon.”

Me: “Not the sausage?”

Customer: “No, just bacon. How much?”

(I cash out the customer while my coworker shouts the order back to kitchen, repeating it several times so that kitchen can actually understand it. She tells them it’s with the pancakes; I correct them that that’s being replaced with the bacon. This entire time, the customer is still right next to me, and can hear everything the two of us have said. When it comes out, half of the tray is covered with bacon, while the rest is with scrambled eggs.)

Customer: *interrupting me while I’m bagging the order* “What’s in that platter?”

Me: “It’s just the bacon and eggs, like you wanted.”

Customer: “No, you charged me for the ultimate. You charged me for the pancakes. Give me them.”

Me: “We replaced the pancakes with the bacon like you wanted.”

Customer: “You charged me for pancakes. Give me my pancakes.”

Me: “All right, just a moment, please.” *starts walking away*

Customer: “No ‘just a moment.’ Give it now!”

Me: “I need to get my manager.”

(I quickly explain the situation to the manager on shift, explaining that we gave him what he wanted and was charged for.)

Manager: *after about a minute, to the kitchen* “I need some pancakes, please!”

(At this point, I’ve holed myself at the specialty drink station, doing the morning prep.)

Me: *to Coworker* “Please give me something to justify my staying here until he leaves…”

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Crazy From Eight Ways To Sunday

| UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work for a broadband and telephone company. I am on the ordering provisioning team who arranges for telephone lines to be installed. I am dealing with a returning customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure you want to port your phone number into our network? That can take up to 10 working days. If we set you up with a new number you could be connected by tomorrow.”

Customer: “No, I worked very hard for that number. It has no eights you see. It’s why I left your company in the first place.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “I don’t like the number eight. On my last bill with your company there was a call charged at £8.88… The phantom phone call. I want to keep my number.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’ll order this now and be in touch over the next 24 hours.”

Customer: “Do you have a number I can contact you on?”

Me: “Certainly, it’s 028—”

Customer: *gasps and hangs up*

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He Shed His Brain A While Ago

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Customer: “Do you have anything that can prevent a dog from shedding?”

Me: “Yes, we have brushes and combs for—”

Customer: “No, I mean something to stop them from shedding all together?”

Me: *confused* “Uhm. No. We don’t.”

Customer: “So, there’s not, like, a pill or something that could make a dog not shed?”

Me: “No, it’s natural for animals to shed hair. They have to—”

Customer: “So, if I went to the vet, I couldn’t get, like, a shot or something that will make them stop shedding?”

Me: “No, animals have to shed. They lose hair because—”

Customer: “So, if I invented something that would make a dog never shed, I’d be, like, rich.”

Me: “Uhmm… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Customer: “But what if I did? Then I’d be rich!”

Me: *giving up* “Yup, I guess so.”

Customer: *to his girlfriend* “Hey, babe! If I invented a shot that could make it so dogs never shed, I’d be rich!”

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A Fee(ble) Excuse

| Yankton, SD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a bank call center. More often than not, I get calls about people who want to appeal late fees on their credit cards.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to appeal my late fee on my credit statement.”

Me: “Sure thing. What is the reason you are appealing your late fee?”

Customer: “I forgot to pay my bill.”

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Stop The Presses! For Five Months!

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests

(I used to work in a small town newspaper. Most everyone would leave earlier in the afternoon and one person would be left to man the phones for an hour or so in the newsroom. This day, I’m the only staff member on hand, and there’s a guy using our microfilm for research. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Newspaper]. Can I help you?”

Lady: “Yes! I am very upset! I just read an article in your paper about the fire that destroyed our house and everything in it is wrong!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that… Can you tell me who wrote the article?”

Lady: “It’s [Name I’ve never heard].”

Me: “Uh… I’m not familiar with that name but…”

Lady: “No, wait, it’s [Reporter].”

Me: “Oh! Yes… he isn’t in the office today, but he should be in tomorrow about seven.”

Lady: “I want this taken care of now! You have no idea what we’ve been through! I just now got around to reading the article and I see all this wrong stuff and it’s like it happened all over again! I want him to rewrite the whole thing!”

Me: *thinking I’ll grab a copy of the paper and re-read the article* “Can you tell me when the article was written?”

Lady: “The fire happened in May!”

Me: “But it’s now October…”

Lady: “So?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but that happened five months ago. We’re not going to be able to redo the story.”

Lady: “BUT WHY NOT?! He got EVERYTHING wrong!”

Me: “I understand that, but so much time has passed and—”

Lady: “YOU HAD BETTER D*** WELL REPRINT THIS ARTICLE OR I’M GOING TO SUE! Who’s your editor?”

Me: “It’s [Editor], but she’s going to tell you the same thing.”

(By now the guy at the microfilm machine is watching me with a “WTF?” expression.)

Lady: “I’m going to call her tomorrow! And you’re going to reprint this! You don’t know what I’ve been through!” *hangs up*

(I explain the conversation to the guy at the microfilm.)

Microfilm Guy: “If it was so important, why did she wait five months to read the article?”

Me: “I should have asked her that.”

(When I got to work the next morning my editor asked about the note I left her and then asked the same question. To our knowledge the woman never called back.)

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