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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Warning Signs: AKA Price Tags

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(In addition to selling coffee we also sell things like mugs and greeting cards. A woman brings three cards up to the counter.)

Me: *after ringing them up* “That’ll be $16.50.”

Customer: “What? $16.50 for three cards? Are you sure?”

Me: *checks* “Yes, I’m sure. See, on the back it shows how much it is. These are all around $5 so with tax that makes $16.50.”

Woman: “Well, that seems like too much.”

Me: “Well,they are kind of expensive, but they are also really great cards and I’m sure whoever you are buying them for will love them.”

Customer: “But still, $16.50!”

Me: “Do you still want to buy them?”

Customer: “Well, yes, but you should have some sort of warning sign up.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “A warning sign. Write a sign that says, ‘Beware: cards are expensive!’”

Won’t Be Checking Out With This Cart

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Money

(I have been operating a business for the past year where I buy merchandise from auctions, etc. and sell them on Craigslist. I’ve got seven years of customer service under my belt, so I know how to deal with people. The following conversation occurs through text messages. He contacts me about a janitorial cart I have listed for $75.)

Craigslister: “Do you still have your janitor cart still for sale to make an offer on?”

Me: “Hi there! Yes, it’s still available. I won’t be around tomorrow but my boyfriend will be here all day if you’d like to come check it out.”

Craigslister: “Will you ask him if he will take $30 for it?”

Me: “Definitely not. The lowest we can go is $60. They sell in store for over $100 and this one hasn’t been used. If you can do $60 we have a deal.”

Craigslister: “Highest I’ll do is $40. They’ve got almost new ones on Craigslist for $50.”

Me: “And my new one for $60, no almost about it. But there’s no use haggling. Your mind is made up. Best of luck to you.”

Craigslister: “I actually wanted one so I could make my grandpa a fishing cart for his birthday. So no use being a jerk. If it’s so new you should return it.”

Me: “I’m not being a jerk. If you won’t do my asking price, you don’t need to point out what others are selling it for. If you can find it for less, why even ask me? I think it’s a sweet idea what you’re doing but you’re not going to coerce me into selling it for next to nothing because others have it for $10 less than I’m willing to go. Get it from them then and be done.”

Craigslister: “You must be a woman.”

Me: “You must be an idiot.”

Craigslister: “Nah, the idiot is gonna be the guy that buys the cart. You’re probably an illegal if anything. Who buys janitorial supplies? Or you stole it.”

Me: “You’re funny. This is my business. I buy and sell things on Craigslist. I deal with people like you all the time. You think that by telling me someone has it for cheaper that I will lower my price. Just get it from them then! Don’t waste my time. I really don’t care what you’re going to do with it. If you don’t like my price, move on. Don’t attempt to insult me because I won’t take half price for it. That’s your problem, not mine.”

Craigslister: “Yup, I was totally right. You’re illegal. Go back to Mexico.”

(My blood was boiling at this point, so I decided to just walk away from it. After cooling down several hours later, I posted an ad on Craigslist in Spanish asking for yard work with his phone number as the contact. I giggled and have now moved on with my life.)

What A Bunch Of Oxy-Morons

| USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(A woman and her husband come up to the customer service counter.)

Woman: “Where is your non-fiction section?”

(Since ‘non-fiction’ ranges from cookbooks to field guides to history and beyond, I have no idea how to respond, so I stare at her for a moment before answering.)

Me: “Well, most of the store is non-fiction. What kind of book are you looking for?”

Woman: “It’s a non-fiction book about some people.”

Me: “Yes. What kind? Is it a biography or maybe true crime?”

Woman: “No, it’s just a non-fiction book about some people. My friend told me it was good. I’m in a book club.”

Husband: “Don’t you just have a non-fiction section?”

Woman: “It’s a non-fiction novel about some people!”

(‘Non-fiction novel’ is an oxymoron. I have to explain what nonfiction is, and she continues to insist that she just needs me to point her to the non-fiction section. She doesn’t have a title, author, or even a general description beyond it being about some people. She is convinced that if I take her to the ‘non-fiction section,’ she’ll find it. Finally, I try to politely end the conversation, because this is pointless.)

Me: “Well, I’m really not sure where to point you, since we’re already standing in a non-fiction section. Do you have any idea what or who the book is about?”

Husband: *looking confused and defeated* “It’s just a non-fiction book… it’s about people.”

Woman: “Maybe I should go get more information from my friend.”