Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Zodiac Whack

| Rockville, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work in a market that tends to draw some crazies. This particular incident actually happened to a coworker who was bagging groceries)

Customer: “Can you please provide me with a different bagger? I get the feeling that you’re a Gemini and I just can’t have that type of energy around me right now.”


I See A Dangerous Pattern Emerging

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Spouses & Partners

(I agree to come in on my day off. After running my butt off and being cheerful, I finally get to clock out. Since it is a hot day, I did not bring a coat to wear over my work shirt but I figure my large purse and carrying a small purchase of my own would indicate to customers that I am off the clock and leaving. No such luck. I just clock out when an obviously pregnant lady and a guy approach me.)

Woman: “We need some help.”

(I forlornly look around and see everyone else is busy.)

Man: “Or were you busy?”

Me: “I actually just clocked out but as long as it is something simple I can help you quick.”

Woman: “We need a pattern and stuff for a crib skirt.”

(I direct them to the pattern table which is right behind them.)

Woman: “We don’t know how to use these books. Just tell us a good pattern.”

(Because there are at least eight different brands with hundreds of patterns each and they change every so often, employees are not required to memorize them all or waste our time looking for one unless there are no other customers in line or we do happen to know one.)

Me: “I don’t know any off the top of my head but each of these books on the table are separated into categories. You find the color that corresponds with the section you are looking for.”

Woman: “What section would crib skirts be under?!”

(She’s getting impatient and obviously wants me to do it for her, which is something else we cannot do. We can make suggestions but we cannot pick out their supplies for them.)

Me: “I’m not sure but possibly ‘Accessories.’”

(The first page I randomly open to has a crib skirt on it.)

Me: “If this isn’t really what you are looking for, feel free to keep paging through the books. When you find something you like, just check the brand on the book and the large numbers on the page are the pattern number. Just go over to the filing cabinets next to us and find the pattern using the brand and numbers.”

Woman: *obviously not paying attention* “WHERE are the patterns?!”

Man: “Right behind us, where she said they are.”

Me: “If you need any more help, one of the ladies at the cutting table will be able to help you.”

(The woman actually tried to follow me and make me find her a better pattern, how to read it, what material she needed. At that point, I did not care if she was pregnant; she was pushy and loud and I had already told her I was clocked out, which means I was not supposed to be “working off the clock” and had to get somewhere. Now I always bring in a jacket to wear after work so people do not know I work there.)


Your Terms And Conditions Have Been Sentenced

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

(A customer calls in to cancel a plan. He’s mentioned that one of the reasons why he wants to cancel is because the terms and conditions are too small and “long” when he prints them out. Note that it’s two standard pages when you print it out, and it does depend on which program you print it from. Usually, we don’t have many problems with this, but some customers will call to get a large-type copy, which we mention in our emails and on the terms and conditions as well. This happens when I’m closing my call.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry to hear that sir, but if it reassures you, we do offer a large type copy can send by snail mail. And I’ve used my personal printer to—”

Caller: “No, that’s just no good. It’s too long. You should tell them to make it twenty words, or two sentences. Thank you, but no. Good bye.

Me: *after he hung up* “Yes, and if you have any questions about your plan, please defer to the vague two sentences and feel free to sue us for ambiguity.”

Coworker: “Did he really just ask you to make the plan 20 words long? He’s aware we have a legal team, right?”

Me: “Wonder what he’d do if he wanted to know what WASN’T covered…”


Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A Quarter

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(Decorated flip-flops are all the rage at this time. I am trying to help two middle-aged ladies who are shopping with two small children, a roughly three-year-old boy in the cart seat and a roughly six-year-old girl running around. The boy is very bored and keeps grabbing one of the women, grabbing spools of ribbon and shoving them back in the incorrect slots, and screaming. The women just ignore the children and the girl continues to aggravate the boy’s behavior. The entire group acts conceited and entitled.)

Woman #1: “Yeah, I need this ribbon but in one-quarter inch.” *holds up one-half inch by-the-yard black and white zebra print*

Me: “All right, it looks like we only carry half-inch and wider for that print in by-the-yard and only 3/8th inch wide in the by-the-spool section. What are you planning on using it for so I can help figure out the best option?”

Woman #1: *shoves a white flip-flop at me, the size making it obvious it is hers* “The woman at [Competitor] told me I could glue fabric around the edge to decorate it but the silky fabric she cut frayed! I want ribbon or something else that won’t fray!”

Me: “All right. You could get the larger one and fold it over since you will be gluing it anyway. Or you could cut it down and use a fray-check before gluing to prevent it from fraying. That way, you wouldn’t need to buy as much.”

Woman #1: “No! I want quarter-inch ribbon so I don’t have to cut it.”

Me: “I understand but we do not carry black and white zebra print in quarter-inch width. If you prefer, we have other patterns in that size. Or we also carry black and white zebra fabrics you can get cut, but I would, again, recommend using a fray-check since they will be seeing a lot of wear and tear on flip-flops—”

Woman #1: “NO! I WANT RIBBON!”

Me: “Well, since we do not carry it, you might be able to find it at [Competitor #2], [Competitor #3], or possibly at [Competitor #4].”


Me: *really thinking how I can make this person happy or at least offer more suggestions* “Where do you live? [Competitor] actually just opened up a branch in [Town half an hour away], if that is any closer to you.

Woman #1: *she is screaming at this point* “I LIVE IN [Town 45 minutes in opposite direction].”

Me: “Oh. The only other suggestion I can think of, then, is to maybe get some sharpies and draw your own designs.”

(At this point, the boy has moved on to throwing spools of ribbon while the girl tugs at him. The woman finally takes notice when I bend down to scoop up an unraveling spool.)


(As she says this she shoves the little girl away while simultaneously ramming her cart into me. She glares at me like she is daring me to say something but I just smile and continue to re-wind the ribbon spool. Woman #2 finally takes notice and starts screaming at the kids that they need to apologize for making a mess. You know, instead of the adults paying attention to them and preventing them from misbehaving.)

Me: “If there is nothing else I can help you with, have a nice day!”


(I just walked away thinking: And you are a terrible parent. I gave you 10 different options and ideas. Short of pulling what you wanted out of the non-existent magic satchel in my a**, there was nothing else I could do. I walked right into the break room where my manager (who I filled in on the situation) told me to stay until those women left the store. Apparently Woman #1 was looking for me…)


This Is A Bad Sign, Part 3

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(The restaurant I work at has free soft-drink refills, with a drink machine in the lobby for customers. Basically, it’s free refills for people inside, but not drive-thru. I’m working the cash window at drive-thru when a teenager holding a plastic cup walks up, ignoring the rather large ‘No walk-ups’ sign next to my window.)

Customer: “Can you refill my [Drink]?”

Me: Um…no. You have to go inside to get your refill. We don’t have a machine in here.

(He promptly runs inside to get his refill. But not 20 minutes later, the customer drives up, holding his empty cup and a small paper sign from the lobby.)

Customer: “I’ll trade you the sign for a refill!”

(And apparently, he tried the same thing at the pickup window!)

This Is A Bad Sign, Part 2
This Is A Bad Sign

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