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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Sadly The Laws Of Physics Are Rock Solid

| USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(My company sells materials for landscaping, patios, etc. We just sell the material; we don’t install it.)

Me: *answering phone* “[Business].”

Customer: “Hi, I need to get a small dump truck of river rock delivered to [Address].”

Me: “Absolutely. It will be [amount] and we can get it delivered this afternoon, if that works for you?”

Customer: “Okay. Will he be able to get in the backyard?”

Me: “As long as there are no fences or trees in the way he should be able to, but he’ll have to look at it when he gets there.”

Customer: “My gate is four feet wide. That’s enough, right?”

Me: “No, sir, he usually needs gates to be eight-ten feet wide depending on the area. If that’s the only way to get to your backyard, unfortunately he will have to dump your rock in the front yard.”

Customer: “Okay, well, he’ll just need to wheelbarrow it into the backyard for me, then.”

(Keep in mind, we just sell and deliver. We’re not landscapers, and this customer apparently thinks the driver moving 16,000 pounds of rock with a wheelbarrow is included in his delivery charge. I pause for the laugh at his own joke I expect, but it does not come.)

Me:“No, sir. He will not be able to move anything with a wheelbarrow. We just deliver the material with the truck and get as close as we can to where you want it.”

(The customer then repeatedly demanded to know why we can’t fit the truck into his backyard, despite my explanation that the truck itself is wider than 4 feet. A landscaping company later picked it up for him.)

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Don’t Bank On Their Cooperation

| UK | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work in a call centre that offers customer support for a ticket company. This call comes in a couple of hours into my shift.)

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached [Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Well, first of all, I was trying to book tickets online yesterday and it’s not letting me. Second of all, I think it’s absolutely outrageous that you do not have a customer service line.”

(This statement throws me off a bit and we have a few seconds of silence.)

Me: “Okay, but… you are speaking to our customer services now?”

Customer: “Well, yes, NOW. But my issue occurred 24 hours ago. I think this is absolutely ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that; however, we are open every day from 9 to 6 so we were in fact available for you to call yesterday on this number. This is the number to call if you need support.”

Customer: “So, if I need help I call this number?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you the customer services?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Then why can’t I book tickets?”

(I look up his purchase attempt records and can see the customer’s transactions were refused by his bank.)

Me: “Okay, I can see here that it is your bank that is refusing the payments. It could be because they need you to verify that you want to make these online transactions.”

Customer: “So, what do I need to do?”

Me: “You need to contact your bank and verify with them what is going on.”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Me: “Well, you could use your Internet banking or give them a call.”

Customer: “But it takes ages to get through to them! I can’t believe it’s become this complicated to just book some tickets. Do I really have to go through all this trouble?!”

Me: “Well, I can’t see why your bank is denying these payments so you will need to speak them.”

Customer: “You know what? Forget it. It’s not worth it. I can’t believe how difficult you’re making this. Bye.” *click*

(I was left stunned at the sheer stupidity of someone who not only calls customer services to complain that there is no way to contact customer services, but also blames his credit card refusal on a company who would be more than happy to take his money.)

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Very Express-ive

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I work at a gas station with the word ‘Express’ in its name. It’s a slow day when a middle-aged man comes up to my register.)

Man: “Hi, I can use this here right?”

(He hands me a gift card that is clearly labeled from a competitor company.)

Me: “Err, no, this is [Store] Express. That card is only good at [Competitor].”

Man: “But look here, it says ‘Express.’ So, I can use it right?”

(He points to the clearly marked “usable at [Competitor] Express” logo.)

Me: “Nope, this is still [Store] Express. Not [Competitor] Express. Sorry, I can’t accept the card.”

Man: Well, F*** YOU, THEN!”