Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Thank Heaven For Customer Service

| Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion

(I’m a part-time receptionist at my church and take a phone call.)

Me: “[Church], may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello! Who is the owner of your establishment, and may I speak with him, please?”

Me: “That would be God. May I put you through?”

Caller: *click*


The Storm After The Calm, Part 2

| KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(Friday we were closed due to a blizzard. We open back up normal time on Saturday since the roads are finally clear. I am running the register when an older gentleman walks up.)

Me: “Hi, sir! How are you?” *I run up his items*

Customer: “Honestly, I’m pissed off!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Yeah, you should be. You all were closed yesterday!”

Me: “Well, sir, it was due to bad weather.”

Customer: “I really needed this stuff. I waited outside for 20 minutes but you never opened!”

(I look over in his bag and noticed all he bought was a soda and a large can of tomato juice.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Next time we will risk our employees lives on icy roads just so you can get one can of tomato juice! I mean who cares if someone wrecks and dies!”

Customer: “Well… never mind!”

(He paid for his stuff and ran out the door… forgetting to grab his oh-so-important merchandise!)

The Storm After The Calm


What The Flux Capacitor!

| Norfolk, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Time

(I work doing PC and electronic maintenance at a large company. I am called into an office to check out a malfunctioning label maker.)

Me: “So, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It isn’t working; I can’t get it to print.”

(I take a look at the document and print out the labels effortlessly.)

Me: “Seems to be working fine.”

Customer: “Well, it wasn’t working yesterday when I needed it.”

Me: “I see. You might have just needed a simple restart. It seems to be working now. Is there anything else you need.”

Customer: “Well, why wasn’t it working yesterday?”

Me: “I can’t be sure since it seems to be working now. Unless you were doing something different?”

Customer: “No, but I needed it to work yesterday.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t fix it yesterday.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because I don’t have a time machine.”


What A Sweet Old Bag

, | UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(During the night shift at the restaurant I work at, a customer pulls up.)

Customer: “I’ll get a cheeseburger, a small [Soda], and some chips, please.”

Me: “Okay, will that be all for today?”

Customer: *deadpan* “Well, could you dip the bag in chocolate? Can you do that?”

(I laugh, because the customer made a direct quote from comedian Tim Hawkins who has a joke about how people never eat healthily at fast food places.)

Me: “I see that you watch Tim Hawkins!”

(There is an awkward silence on the other end of the phone.)

Customer: “Uh… who’s Tim Hawkins?”

Me: “Never mind.”

Customer: “But can you dip the bag in chocolate?”

Me: “No, sir, we can’t.”

(To this day I have no idea whether it was an actual, insane request, or if somebody with a sense of humor decided to mess with my mind.)


But There’s A Cat(ch)

| Winter Haven, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I’m a receptionist at an animal hospital. Sometimes we house stray dogs and cats for a while until we can find them forever homes, and people come in frequently asking about any strays we may have. I see a man walk in, and by the way he’s grinning to himself in the corner, I can already tell he’s slightly strange.)

Me: “Good morning. How can I help you?”

Man: “Hello. You may not know me, but I’m a professional cat sitter.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “All right. I can honestly say I’ve never heard of that before. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Man: “Well, my b**** of an ex-wife divorced me and took all my cats, so now I only get to see them on the weekends. I was wondering if you had any cats for adoption that I can keep for five days and bring back.”

Me: *it takes me a few seconds to figure out how to answer* “So… you want to adopt one of our cats for five days and bring her back on the weekends?”

Man: *completely serious* “That’s right.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry. If you adopt one of our cats, you’d have to keep them.”

Man: “That’s what I thought you’d say. Thanks anyway.”

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