Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 9

| Kent, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a busy sandwich shop in a retail centre. It’s relatively quiet when a man and his two sons enter. They are regulars, but are usually rude. The father ignores us and plays with his phone while the kids order.)

Me: “And what salad would you like?”

Son #1: *reels off salads* “…and onions. And [burger sauce].”

Me: *wraps his sandwich for him and hands it over before moving on*

(A few minutes after the father has paid, he storms back to the counter with Son #1’s sandwich.)

Father: “There are onions in here. He cannot eat onions. He is allergic!”

Me: *worried about the allergy* “I’m so sorry! Do you need me to call emergency services?!

Father: “What? No. He’s just allergic!”

Me: *I’m confused, but relieved more than anything* “Okay, I’m very sorry! I’ll make you a new one straight away.”

(I make the new sandwich as before, and ask the boy over to tell me his salad items again.)

Son #1: *reels off his salads* “And onion.”

Me: *hesitates* “I’m sorry, but your father asked me not to add onions.”

Father: *from other side of restaurant* “NO ONIONS!”

Son #1: *sighs* “Fine. But I want the [burger sauce]!”

Me: “I’m afraid that sauce has onions—”

Father: “NO ONION!”

Me: “—is there anything else I can offer you?”

Son #1: “I just want the d*** [burger sauce]!”

Father: *storms up to counter* “He can have the sauce!”

Me: “The [burger sauce] contains onions so I’m not comf—”

Father: “Just give him the sauce!”

Me: *shrugs and puts the sauce on, adding extra when asked before wrapping the sandwich up*

Father: *snatches sandwich before I can bag it* “No onion! Was that so hard to understand?” *storms off again*

(They spent the rest of their meal glaring at me while I worked and left their mess all over the table, including the original sandwich they rejected. When I went to clean up, I find all of the onion had been removed from the sandwich and was nowhere to be seen.)

Related:
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 8
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 7
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 6

Milked Them Empty

| NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am at the drive-thru. A regular customer comes through and this is always how it goes:)

Customer: *at the speaker* “Can I get two small coffees and [other items]?”

Me: “Okay, that’ll be [total] at the window.”

(At the window:)

Customer: “Can I get, like, six cream and six sugars?”

(I hand him six packets each of cream and sugar.)

Customer: “Can I get six packets for each coffee?”

(I hand him six more packets each. Yes, I’m being passive-aggressive about this, but please remember, this is twelve creams and twelve sugars for two small cups of coffee! Today, however, we’ve run out of creamer for some odd reason.)

Customer: *at the window* “Can I get like, six cream and six sugars?”

(I hand him the sugar but, being passive-aggressive, don’t mention the cream.)

Customer: “Where’s my cream?”

Me: “Sorry, we’ve run out of creamer. Someone’s been asking for twelve creams per order.”

Customer: “Well, this is a business. Maybe you should order some more!”

(He threw the sugar at me and drove off angrily. Later, he came inside and complained to my manager, saying – among other things – that it “isn’t my business” how much cream he asks for (even, apparently, when it runs us out of cream). My manager gave him a free bottle of milk for his trouble and lectured me on not criticizing customers. I still feel like it was worth it. Maybe I’m wrong?)

So Closed But So Far, Part 2

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests

(Our store closes at 8:00; it is currently 8:05 and the last few customers are at the check-out while the employees get everything ready to close up. I’m out front cleaning up my area when a man approaches.)

Man: “Hey, are you guys closed?”

Me: “Yep, we closed a few minutes ago. Sorry.”

Man: “But I can still shop, right?”

Related:
So Closed But So Far

Brothers In Arms

, | Port Charlotte, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(My younger brother and I both manage at a chain pizza place in our local mall. Although five years apart we regularly get asked if we are twins. One Sunday morning after a long night of drinking we are both working. He is in the back room prepping food; I am out front manning the register. A customer walks up and asks the price of a slice of pizza. Had he turned his head 30 degrees left he’d have seen the price board right next to him.)

Customer: “How much for a slice of pepperoni?”

Me: *turning my head slowly and slightly toward the price board* “$1.79 according to the board.”

Customer: *immediately irate* “I want to see your manager right now!”

Me: “Okay, let me get him for you.” *slowly walk through swinging door to kitchen on left side of service area* “Hey, bro, some guy out front wants to talk to the manager.”

(My brother walks out front by way of the other door to see what he can do for the man.)

Brother: “Yes, sir, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I told you, I want to see the manager.”

(My brother walks back in the same door he used.)

Brother: “He says he wants to talk to you now.”

(I walk back out front through the same door I had previously used.)

Me: “Yes, sir, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “How many times do I have to tell you? I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER!”

(I walk into the back again and tell my brother he’s needed by the customer again, brother then goes back out the door he’s been using.)

Brother: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “F***! I told you to get the manager! Now don’t you move a step. Call the manager out here so we can all have words.”

Brother: *pushes the door open and shouts to the back* “Hey, come on out here. Now he wants to talk to both of us.”

(I walk out front, and smile broadly at the customer.)

Me: “Yes, sir? How may WE help you?”

(Looking back and forth between us.)

Customer: “Well, obviously I’m not going to get anything done here!”

Me & Brother: *simultaneously* “Nope.”

“Birth” Defect

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Where do you keep your ‘birth checkers’?”

Me: “If by ‘birth checkers’ you actually mean our pregnancy tests… aisle eight, right-hand side, top shelf.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know if an ultrasound can tell if the baby is white or black?”

Me: “…”

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