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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Leaving Only With Emotional Scar(f)s

, | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I am a volunteer in a charity shop. There is nowhere to store personal belongings, so I put my handbag under the counter and my coat and scarf on the back of the cashier’s chair – this is also behind the counter. I am sitting on the chair. A customer is about to pay for a book, and spots my scarf. There are several scarves for sale in the shop, including in the window display.)

Customer: “Can I see that scarf, please?”

Me: “Which one?”

Customer: “There.” *points to my scarf*

Me: “Oh, sorry, that’s mine. We have lots of others around the shop.”

Customer: “Yours? What do you mean?”

Me: “It’s mine; it belongs to me. It’s not for sale.”

Customer: “Of course it’s for sale. You can’t just keep anything you like the look of. I want to buy it. How much is it?”

Me: “No, sorry, it’s mine. It’s not from the shop. It’s really not for sale.”

Customer: “Yes, it is. How much?”

Me: “It’s MY scarf, I wore it to come to work this morning, it BELONGS to me, and it is NOT for sale. I can’t be much clearer.”

(At this point the customer glares at me and starts to walk AROUND the counter, looking at my scarf and is obviously just going to grab it. The other customers are staring at her in disbelief. I take my scarf from the chair and stuff it under the counter with my handbag, and physically stand in front of the customer so she can’t get round to the cashier’s area.)

Customer: “Hey, I want that! You can’t just hide it and keep it for yourself.”

Me: “Yes, I can, because it’s mine. You are not buying it. I am not going to sell it to you. Now, do you want the book?”

(She stands and glares at me, then throws the book onto the counter and stomps out of the shop, shaking her head and making comments about how rude I am and how she can’t believe how I treated her.)

Next Customer: *after a few moments of stunned silence* “So… how much for your coat, then?”

Netflix And Won’t Chill

| Omaha, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular, Technology

Me: “How may I help you today?”

Female Customer: “I was trying to watch something on demand and it would go through. Why is that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, there is an outage for your area for that service at the moment.”

Female Customer: “How the h*** is that supposed to help me? I want a forty dollar credit on my account.”

Me: “Well I would be glad to credit you for the day of service for the inconvenience.”

Female Customer: “Listen here, you son of a b****! I want a forty dollar credit because this is ruining my night. Do you have any idea how much I want to watch my shows?”

Me: “I understand and apologize, ma’am, but there are a lot of people affected by this issue at the moment. You’re not the only one and we can’t give everyone a forty dollar credit.”

Female Customer: “I don’t give a d***! This is my night to watch my shows. My account is more important than theirs! You can handle them on your own time!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you want I can credit you for the day and then if you like I can send a field technician out to you tomorrow after the outage to make sure your services are working fine.”

Female Customer: “Whatever! Just give me the credit! How much is it?”

Me: “Five dollars.”

Female Customer: “Was that so hard?”

(I should add that I may have “forgotten” to tell her about the charge for the technician.)

Married To The Job

| Clifton, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Spouses & Partners

(It is about five minutes before the end of my shift and I have just escorted a customer to the product he wanted.)

Me: “Is there was anything else you need?”

Customer: “No, thanks; I have everything. Thank you for your help.”

(When I turn around, I see my husband standing a few feet away, waiting for me to finish my shift. I told him I had to clock out and gave him a quick kiss. From behind me I hear my previous customer ask with a chuckle and wink:)

Customer: “What do I have to do to get customer service like that?”

Me: “You’d have to marry me; this is my husband!”

Hopes Of A Refund Have Wilted Away

| Austin, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

(A sad fact of the floral industry is that you often deal in people’s sorrows. Families often come in to purchase casket sprays and other pieces for their deceased loved ones. Sometimes getting the whole group to agree takes a certain degree of diplomacy. A group of about fifteen people come in and purchase several thousand dollars worth of funeral work for their matriarch. No one disagreed, no one voiced concerns about pricing, it was all too perfect, until several family members came back two days later and asked to speak with my dad.)

Dad: “What can I help you all with today?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, uh… we want to return the flowers we bought here the other day.”

Dad: “You want to return one of the pieces you bought on Monday afternoon?”

Customer #1: “No.”

Dad: “You don’t?”

Customer #2: “No, we want to return them all.”

Dad: “Was there a problem? Were they not to your liking?”

Customer #3: “Well, some of them are wilty now.”

Dad: “Well, that’s to be expected. Cut flowers don’t live too long out of water. But was there a problem with them at the time of delivery?”

(All three customers stare at each other, while dad pulls the order slip.)

Dad: Okay, all the pieces were ordered on Monday afternoon for a funeral Tuesday morning. They were delivered early Monday evening…”

Customer #1: “Yeah!”

Dad: “Yeah, what?”

Customer #1: “The funeral was Tuesday morning, that’s what we’re talking about.”

Dad: “I don’t follow.”

Customer #2: “The funeral was Tuesday.”

Dad: “Yes, and the flowers went out early Monday evening. I delivered them myself.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, but we don’t need them anymore.”

Dad: “What do you mean?”

Customer #1: “We only needed them for the funeral. The funeral’s over. We don’t need them anymore.”

Dad: “You’re wanting to return these because the funeral has passed?”

Customer #3: “Well, you don’t expect us to keep them, do you?”

Dad: “I don’t care what you do with them, but I’m not taking them back.”

Customer #1: “So you’re just going to keep our money?”

Dad: “Ma’am, this isn’t a flower rental service. Your family bought perishable goods. You wouldn’t return half eaten food to the grocery store, would you?”

Customer #1: “This is ridiculous! You won’t take ’em back?”

Dad: “No, I won’t.”

Customer #3: “Then what’d we bring ’em back here for?”

Dad: “I don’t know. Nobody told you to.”

Customer #1: “We see how this is. Y’all are just a bunch of crooks!”

(Not only did this continue for fifteen more minutes, in the end they left several of the pieces behind on our parking lot for us to throw away. In the end, we were able to salvage a couple of the wire easels which would have netted them about $8.00.)

Not Always Right: The Magazine

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m checking out a woman’s groceries while her boyfriend flips through the magazines at the checkout, looking increasingly dissatisfied.)

Customer: “All of your magazines are messed up! You should offer me a discount.”

Me: “Messed up in what way? I’m not authorized as a cashier to offer discounts, but I’ll be happy to have a look and let my manager know when he’s back from his break.”

Customer: “See, right here where the outside edge is messed up, and all of them are like that!”

(I look and see that the outside edges are indeed a little rough looking, but not so much that the magazines are ruined for reading.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir, but again I’m not authorized to offer discounts. If you don’t mind waiting, I can push the call button to call my manager now, and perhaps he can offer a discount.”

Customer: “Well, it looks sloppy and unprofessional. You should fire whoever is responsible for this!”

Me: “It’s not a store employee that we can fire, sir. All of our magazines are stocked by an outside vendor. Again, I’m not authorized to offer discounts, but my manager should be available shortly if you’d like to take it up with him.”

Customer: “No, YOU should offer me a discount! The customer is always right, and YOU should be able to fix this without me having to wait for a manager! I used to work in a grocery store, and I know how things should work!”

Me: “If you used to work in a grocery store, sir, then you’ll know that customers treat the register magazine racks as a personal library, and aren’t always careful about how they return items to the rack. Once again, I am not authorized to give discounts, but I’ll be more than happy to call my manager over for you.”

Customer: “But I’m the customer, I’m right, and you can’t argue with me!”

(I once again offered to call my manager, and said nothing more while I finished his girlfriend’s transaction. He ended up purchasing the magazine, grumbling all the while that the condition of our racks was “unprofessional” and he shouldn’t have to wait for a manager.)

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