Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


All Salts Of Stupid

| Albany, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am sitting inside at a famous fast-food restaurant. A man in line approaches the cashier. After the employee asks what he would like to order, he asks:)

Customer: “If I asked for no salt on my fries, would you be able to do that for me?”

Cashier: “Yes, sir. Anything that we add here in the store can be taken off.”

Customer: “Oh, great. In that case, I would like to order a bacon cheeseburger, with no salt on the bacon.”

(He is completely serious. The cashier pauses for a moment.)

Cashier: “I’m very sorry, sir, but the bacon already has salt in it. I can’t take it out.”

Customer: *suddenly very aggressive* “You said that you could take anything that I wanted of the order! I want bacon without salt! How hard it that?”

Cashier: “No, sir, I said that anything we add here in the restaurant can be removed. Salt is used in the process of making bacon, so I can’t give you salt-free bacon.”

Customer: “Get me your manager! NOW!”

(At this point, everyone in the restaurant is staring. From where I’m standing, I can see the manager, who has heard everything, get this look on his face like he is already 100% done with this customer, but he composes himself and goes up to the counter.)

Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Your employee told me that you can take off anything from an order! All I want is a bacon cheeseburger with no salt on the bacon, and she refused to give it to me!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can only remove things that we add here in the store. Salt is inherent in bacon. We don’t add it here so, unfortunately, I can’t remove it.”

Customer: “Just get me salt-free bacon! How f*****g hard is that?!”

(The manager closes his eyes for a moment, and I can practically see his internal sigh.)

Manager: *putting in the order* “Yes, sir, I’ll do what I can.”

Customer: “Thank you. God, was that so hard? Now, I would also like a chocolate shake with no chocolate.”

Manager: “You mean a vanilla shake, sir?”

Customer: “No, you idiot! If I wanted a vanilla shake, I would have ordered a f*****g vanilla shake!”

Manager: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Thank you. That will be all.”

Manager: “Yes, sir, your total is [total].”

(The customer waits for his food, muttering about “how f*****g hard is it” to get him salt-free bacon. He picks up his food and sits at the table right behind me. I turn around to him and say:)

Me: “Hey, man. You want some of my fries? They’re potato-free.”

(Everyone in earshot starts snickering. One of the employees goes into the back to stop laughing. He gives me a snide look.)

Customer: “You must think I’m some sort of idiot.”

Me: *stifling my smirk* “No, sir.”

(He finished his food and left. The kicker? They gave him a normal bacon cheeseburger and chocolate shake. He loved it.)


Doesn’t Give A Truck

AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Caller: “Hey, my tire just blew out, and I need a tow truck.”

Me: “Oh, dear! Let me get you over to roadside assistance. They can help you out.”

Caller: “Why can’t you help me? Aren’t you at [Rental Company]?”

Me: “I’m with the sales department, sir. You need to talk to roadside assistance.”

Caller: “Well, why don’t you sell me something, then? Can’t you rent me a tow truck?”

Me: “No, sir, we don’t rent those out.”

Caller: “But I know you guys have one. I saw it on your lot. Just name your price!”

Me: “Sir, even if I could rent it out to you, how would you get there to pick it up if your truck has a flat?”

Caller: “Oh, I’ll just walk.”

Me: “You’ll what? How far away are you, sir?”

Caller: “Oh, we haven’t even left the parking lot. I can see your office from here.”

Me: “You… uh…”

Caller: “Is this John? Can you tell him to come over here and rent me a tow truck?”

Me: “Sir… why don’t you just walk over to the office and ask?”

Caller: “Well, it’s hot outside, and I didn’t want to leave the truck if I didn’t have to.”


Do Not Call, Can Not Call

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work at a call center that does follow-up calls for a financial company, to make sure everything goes smoothly with the clients’ accounts. Usually we are the ones that call the customer, but sometimes we get inbound calls and have to get the customer’s information to look up their account. On this particular occasion, I get an inbound call.)

Me: “Hi, this is [Company]; how can I help you today?”

Customer: “What do you people want?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t understand. You’re the one calling us?”

Customer: “I’m sick and tired of you telemarketers always calling me. I don’t want to buy whatever you’re trying to sell me.”

Me: “We’re not telemarketers, ma’am. This is [Company]. We’d likely be contacting you because you’re a client of ours, unless someone gave us your phone number by mistake. Do you happen to have a loan with us?”

Customer: “Yeah, so?!”

Me: “Then we would have tried to contact you regarding your account.”

Customer: “I already have a loan; I want you people to stop calling me! I’m on the do-not-call list and you people are calling me at least twenty times a day!”

(I know this is not true, because it is company policy to never call more than once every several days, and even if the policy wasn’t in place we wouldn’t have the time to call the same client over and over. By now I realize that the customer is too angry to listen, and I want to fix things as quickly as possible.)

Me: “Well, if you’d like, I can take note in your file that you do not want to be contacted. I can also update your account so that transactions can be made automatically so that we don’t have to call you for authorization, and you can keep track of things on our website instead?”

Customer: “Yes!” *muttering profanities* “Do that now!”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, could I have your first and last name?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Sorry? I just need to match up your file. Could I have the phone number that we’ve been calling you at, then?”

Customer: “I don’t give out that kind of personal information.”

Me: “We would already have your information, ma’am, if you have a loan with us. I just need a name or a phone number to search so that we know who it is that doesn’t want to be called. You called in to us, so I don’t have your information in front of me.”

Customer: “No, I’m not going to give you my information!”

Me: “What…?”

Customer: “Are you a f****** idiot? Just stop calling me!”

(The customer hangs up. I’m baffled what to do, and I’ve already searched the inbound number, but it is a different number than the one we would have contacted and shows no search results in our system. After a minute of thought, I figure I should tell my manager, and I walk into his office. He is on the phone with a customer.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I would be happy to hear your complaint, but there’s not much I can do unless you tell me when you called so I can find out who you were talking to. No, we already have your information; I’m not trying to get anything personal from you… Could we have the phone number you want us to stop calling then? What…? Why not?”


Don’t Count Your Chickens

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(Every summer, a group of young Italian students come over to study English, and they eat dinner everyday at our canteen.)

Girl: “Pasta.”

Me: “Which one? I have chicken and plain pasta?”

Girl: “This.” *points at the chicken pasta* “No chicken.”

Me: “You can have the plain pasta, then?” *points at the plain pasta*

Girl: “No, this. No chicken.”

(Guess who had to pick all the little pieces of chicken out from the chicken pasta?)


Doesn’t Know What He’s Complaining Four

| UK | Crazy Requests

(I work in a shop where customers can order things online that will be delivered to the store, which they can then come to collect. One day a customer comes in and wants to collect a parcel.)

Customer: *throws slip of paper at me*

Me: “Hello, I assume you’d like a parcel collecting today. That’s no problem. I’ll just search the system for you.”

Customer: *grunts*

Me: “Right, I’ll go get these out of the back for you; I’ll just be a minute.”

(I return with four parcels.)


Me: “The people who package the items often put more than one item in each bag to save on packaging materials. It wastes less plastic so it’s better for the environment, but there will be the ten items in there.”


Me: “Yes, ma’am, there are. There are ten items on the slip. they’ve just condensed them into four parcels.”


(I show her the slip that lists the items in the packages.)


Me: “Right, but the slip shows there are ten items, so there are ten items. Would you like me to open the parcels to show you the ten items?”


(I end up feeling through the bags of the parcels to try feel these ten items.)

Customer: “If I get these home and there aren’t ten items I’m going to complain to your manager!” *storms off*

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