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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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No Such Thing As Gardening Leave

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(It’s 11 pm and the store closed at 9. I’m in my car, in the back of the parking lot, on my lunch, taking a nap. I’m not wearing my employee vest or my name tag. Someone knocks on my car window, waking me up.)

Customer: “I can’t get into the garden department!”

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It’s Policy To Ask Five Times

| UK | Crazy Requests

(This is far from an unusual occurrence but it does strike me every time. We have an IVR – the speech at the beginning of a call that lets you know what you will need, etc. The first thing it mentions is the policy number. Since we deal with many policies issued by many companies, we’re almost bound to have more than one person with the same name.)

Me: “Hi, you’re through to travel claims. My name is [My Name]; how can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, hello, I started a claim with you well over a month ago and I haven’t heard anything from you.”

Me: “Okay, let me look you up so I can check on that. Do you have a claim number?”

Customer: “No but you took ALL of my details. I’m calling because I started a claim over a month ago and I haven’t heard anything.”

Me: “I can look you up with a policy number. That should be no problem.”

Customer: “I don’t have that but you have all my details. I contacted you over one month ago. I haven’t heard anything. Can you help me?”

Me: “Well, sir, I can try with your postcode?”

Customer: *gives postcode but nothing comes up* “But you should have all my details!”

(At this point I am fed up with hearing about how he hasn’t heard from us for the fourth time. I’ve also tried his name, so I interject.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but if there’s nothing under your postcode or your name, I would need your policy number. Can you think who you bought the policy through?”

Customer: “YOUR company. YOU should have my details.

(I politely end the call asking him to find his policy number.)

Colleague: *who has overheard* “Yes, sir, you are the ONLY person we are dealing with we have been waiting for your call. Your details are on my screen right now.”

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All Pumped Up For The Wrong Reasons

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

(I work as a cashier at a pre-pay only gas station. Many customers don’t know we’re a pre-pay only station and frequently insert the nozzle into their car expecting us to turn on the gas for them, which we cannot do. The customer in this story has just tried to pump without paying and we’ve informed him over the intercom that he needs to come inside to pre-pay. He comes in moments later looking annoyed.)

Customer: “Why do I have to pre-pay?”

Me: “Sorry about the inconvenience; it’s store policy. How much would you like to pump?”

Customer: “I just want to fill it.”

Me: “In order to pre-pay we need a dollar amount of gas that you want to pay.”

Customer: “I don’t know how much I need; I just want to fill it.”

Me: “Yeah, but we don’t know how much it will take to fill your car. Just guess how much gas you need and if you don’t end up pumping it all into the tank you can come back in and get your change.”

Customer: “I don’t want to have to come back in. I just don’t see why I have to pre-pay. Is this such a bad neighbourhood that you get people driving off a lot?”

(I start to try and tell him the policy has to do with how our store is arranged, we can’t see the pumps well enough from the store to determine if someone drove off without paying, but before I can say that he interrupts.)

Customer: “Can’t I just give you my keys and you turn on the pump for me?”

(At this point my manager who is close by steps in to tell him we can’t do that and that he needs to pre-pay an amount before we can turn on the pumps, which he does but as he’s leaving he says:)

Customer: “This is ridiculous, I don’t want to have to come back in for my change. It’s supposed to be a convenience store; this isn’t convenient.”

(He starts pumping his gas, and as he’s doing so my manager comments on how annoying it is when customers do this.)

Manager: “And you know the ironic thing is that if he left his keys in here, he would still have to come back in to get them.”

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No One Is Getting Fired Or On Fire Today

| Rochester, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I am eating my lunch at a popular lunch spot. Suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. I grab my stuff and head out, along with the employees and all but one of the customers.)

Customer #1: “Hey! Where are you going? I want my food!”

Employee: “Sir, the fire alarm is going off! Get outside!”

Customer #1: “I want my [item]! Give it to me!”

Employee: “Get outside! If this turns out to be nothing, we’ll make you a new one.”

(The customer continues to make a fuss, but is shooed outside by the employees and some helpful customers. He stands outside, continuing to complain. The fire department arrives and the firefighters run inside. While they’re in there (and the fire truck sits directly in front of the main door, lights flashing) and the fire alarm continues to sound, a man approaches and tries to go in.)

Employee: *shouting* “Sir! Don’t go in!”

Customer #2: “I called in an order, and paid for it.”

Employee: “And once the firefighters come out and say that everything’s safe, you’ll get it.”

Customer #2: “I don’t see any flames. I want my food.”

Employee: *exasperated* “No one is going inside until the fire department okays it.”

Customer #2: “What if it gets cold?”

Employee: “If it’s ready and waiting, it’ll be in the warmer. But if something’s wrong with it, we’ll make a new one.”

(Customer #2 made a big show of standing directly in front of the door, arms crossed, and looking at his watch. After a few minutes, the firefighters concluded that the alarm malfunctioned and left. Everyone headed back in and business resumed. Both the jerk customers continued to complain, going to far as to demand free or discounted food for their trouble. The manager kicked them both out. They left, threatening to call corporate and get everyone fired for being “lazy.”)

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How To Make A Vegetarian Fuming

| UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(We sell hot jacket potatoes in our shop. These are baked at the start of the day, and then kept in a hot display cupboard. An hour before closing time we turn the hot cupboard off so it can be cleaned safely. Customers who want a potato after this point can have them reheated and served for a lower price. Also note: the hot cupboard also contains breakfast items like bacon and sausages.)

Customer: “I’ll have a reheated jacket potato, please.”

Cashier: *puts potato in a container, then goes to put container in microwave, and while doing so removes a sausage roll that was inside*

Customer: *suddenly shouting* “Excuse me, but I’m a strict vegetarian! I can’t eat ANYTHING that’s been that close to meat!”

Cashier: *confused* “But they haven’t touched at all! The potato is in a box!”

Customer: “But the FUMES will contaminate it!”

Cashier: *looks at hot cupboard, which has bacon displayed prominently* “Really?”

Customer: “Well, if you’re not going to accommodate MY needs, I’ll take my business elsewhere!”

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