Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Wants Their Complaint On A Plate

, | WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(There is a power outage in the middle of the day. For some unknown reason, we are always one of the few with power, which means the whole city comes over to hang out since we have books and coffee. Of course, this means we have lines and lines of people anxious for the warmth of coffee and food.)

Coworker: “Next in line, please!”

Customer: “I would like a caramel macchiato and a spinach and artichoke quiche.”

Coworker: “All right, that adds to $10.12, please! And your food and drink will be right at the end.”

(We switch off who is doing what since it is so busy and I am making the drinks. After a little while we have her food and drink ready to go.)

Me: “Okay, I have spinach and artichoke quiche and a caramel macchiato!”

(Customer looks at her order clearly not satisfied.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “I wanted to eat this here.”

Coworker: “We’ve been really busy because we’re one of the few businesses not without power, so we ran out of plates. You can still eat it here if you would like.”

Customer: *clearly still not satisfied* “If I want this on a plate, I should be able to get this on a plate. Who is the manager tonight?”

Coworker: *says our manager’s name* “Would you like to speak to her?”

(Somehow my coworker still has a smile on her face even with how much we’ve had to do all night. I don’t know how she does it. The customer grunts, takes the bag and drink and walks away. Later that night, as my manager and coworker are getting ready to close, nearly having to kick people out in the process…)

Customer: “Are you [Manager]?”

Manager: “Yes, I am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I have a complaint to make. You need to fix the behaviors of your employees. If a customer asks for a plate, they deserve to get a plate.”

Manager: “Well, would you rather eat on a dirty plate or in a nice, clean bag?”

Customer: *looks appalled* “Why would you give me such an attitude?”

Manager: “Sorry, but it’s now 10. We are closing up and you have to leave.”

Customer: “Whatever!” *slowly walks away*

Manager: *with a smile* “Have a good night!”

(Apparently this customer does this a lot. She always has a complaint to make about our business, yet she always comes back. We also had a customer stand up to this rude lady customer and tell our manager that we gave excellent service, especially for it being so busy in the middle of a power outage. Mind you, we had actually forgotten her food because of all the chaos, so that part restored my faith in humanity!)

Refunder Blunder, Part 23

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Time

(I am the manager in this situation.)

Manager: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I left an item here by mistake after paying for it.”

Manager: “Oh, that’s very easy to do when you’re busy; don’t worry! We hold onto lost & found items for about a week. What was the item?”

Customer: “It’s this.” *shows me a product she’s picked up from a shelf – shaving gel worth £3* “I called up the next day to tell you I’d left it.”

Manager: “That’s strange, none of my team told me to expect you… Who did you speak to? And can you tell me which day you called? That’ll help me find it.”

Customer: “I called at the start of May.”

(It is now mid-August.)

Manager: “You left something here in early May and are just coming to get it now?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you have it?”

Manager: “I’m very sorry, but we cannot hold onto lost items for three months. If you have your receipt, I will give you a refund for the item.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have a receipt. You really don’t have it?”

Manager: “No. I’m afraid that without your receipt to prove purchase, there is nothing more I can do.”

(I couldn’t believe that anyone would wait THREE MONTHS to come back to the store, particularly when the item was only worth £3!)

Related:

Refunder Blunder, Part 22

Refunder Blunder, Part 21

Refunder Blunder, Part 20

Dry Demands

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular, Transportation

(A guest comes up to the desk with damp hair and a look of fury.)

Me: “Hello, may I help y—“

Guest: “I WAS TRYING TO DRY MY HAIR AND YOUR STUPID HAIR DRYER DOES NOT WORK IN MY ROOM! YOU’RE AN IDIOT AND SO IS THIS HOTEL!”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry ma’am. I’ll go fetch you another one.”

Guest: “YOU BETTER! AND HURRY UP, OR I’LL MISS MY FLIGHT! NOW! WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING?”

(I tell the manager to watch the desk while I find her another hair dryer. It takes a long time because all I can find are broken ones. Finally I head up to the desk with a working dryer.)

Guest: *screaming* “MY FLIGHT! MY FLIGHT, YOU INCOMPETENT IDIOTS!”

Manager: *whispers to me* “Where were you? The lady was getting more and more agitated!”

Me: “I couldn’t find a working one.” *to Guest* “Here you go, ma’am. Again, sorry about that.”

Guest: “YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS!” *snatches dryer and goes to dry her hair in the lobby bathrooms*

(She takes a while, and meanwhile I notice something: it’s raining hard outside. She finally comes out and throws the dryer at my manager, which hits the counter. Pieces of dryer fall off and my manager picks it up. She makes a beeline for the door. I also notice she had no umbrella.)

Me: “Ma’am, wait…”

Guest: “WHAT, IDIOT?”

Me: “…Never mind.”

(She throws me a dirty look, stomps outside, and her hair goes from dry to damp again in five seconds. I saw her throw another childish fit in the street! Glad I didn’t have to hear it! All that for nothing.)

Inheriting An Impossible Request

| Helsinki, Finland | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

Me: *phone rings* “[Law Firm], [My Name].”

Customer: “Do you handle inheritance cases?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Customer: “Well we have this disagreement in my family that has been going on for almost twenty years.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “The problem is that a couple of relatives won’t sign any documents and we are all absolutely adamant that court proceedings are out of the question.”

Me: “Those are really the only options, I’m afraid. Either you can make an agreement or go to court.”

Customer: “No, that will not do. I want you to resolve it.”

Me: “I can write the contracts for everyone involved to sign, or I can take the matter to court. There is no third way.”

Customer: “No! Those options will not do! I want you to resolve it now. And I mean immediately!”

Me: “You mean at this very moment, over the phone, talking to you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that is impossible.”

Customer: “Why?!”

Me: “It just is. I would have to do magic to resolve your disagreement of twenty years instantly, talking to just one party over the phone.”

Customer: “You are just absolutely useless!” *click*

Your Excuse Holds No Water

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I work at a city pool as the head lifeguard. We do not allow flotation devices such as life jackets, foam noodles, puddle jumpers (they go around the upper arms and the chest), etc. A family comes to the pool with puddle jumpers, and are told at the gate that we do not allow flotation devices in our pool. About an hour later, a family comes and has a child in a swimsuit that has built-in floaties in the front and back. We have no control over that so they are allowed. A few minutes later, I see a young girl with puddle jumpers on in line for the diving board. Her dad is with her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but flotation devices are not allowed in the pool.”

Dad: “She just wants to dive off the diving board and she’ll take them off.”

Me: “Sir, you were told at the gate that we do not allow any flotation devices in the pool. If she cannot swim to the pool on her own or without her floaties, then she should not go off the diving board.”

Dad: “This is ridiculous! This is a stupid rule!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but not all parents are as careful with their children as you are. In the past, we’ve had too many children left unattended in the pool with a lifejacket on and no parent. Many parents expect the lifeguards to be babysitters while they read a book or play on their smartphones and leave their children in the pool. Even though they are wearing a lifejacket, those are not made for swimming but for floating. Some young children can actually get stuck face down in a pool while wearing a life jacket.”

(The dad pulls the little girl out of the line and she proceeds to throw a fit, crying and demanding to go off the diving board. I continue to roam the pool deck. I see this dad talking to a lifeguard up in the chair, then goes to the front gate and talks with the guard working the cash register. I go to the front gate to excuse the guard to rotate to his next station and ask the dad if I can help him with something.)

Dad: “You are a bunch of hypocrites! There is a girl in the shallow end of the pool with her mom and she has a lifejacket on! What are you going to do about that?”

Me: “Sir, this girl is wearing a bathing suit with the flotation pads built in. Do you want me to go over to the mom, tell her that the bathing suit is a flotation device and make her remove it and have her child swim naked?”

Dad: *grumbles something and walks away when I ask an approaching family how I can help them*

(The two other guards told me later that he said the same thing to them, and they both gave him the same answer about making that poor girl swim naked! He called me “Shrek” and told one of the other guards I was being a b****. He has come back two other times and caused trouble by acting childishly and deliberately breaking rules along with his wife. He is now known as the “Shrek” guy.)

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