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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Don’t Bank On A Search Engine

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work at a software company where our main clients are American. Depending on your Google search our ad often pops up first and being the receptionist I end up with a lot of calls like this…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company].”

Caller: “Hi, I can’t get into my bank account.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this is a software company.”

Caller: “Huh? Google gave me this number to call and complain.”

(Realizing there is a good chance the caller is American I try another tactic.)

Me: “I do apologize, sir, but this is a software company located in Canada.”

Caller: “Well, then, why does your number show up as the person to call?!”

Me: “It depends on what you searched online.”

(After another minute of explaining he seems to get it.)

Caller: “Are you sure you aren’t the bank?”

Me: “Yes, sir, the company hasn’t magically changed in the past five minutes of talking to you.”

(I wish I could say this was a rare conversation but it happened almost every day.)

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Refunder Blunder, Part 21

| Wales, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am approached by an initially-pleasant elderly couple.)

Me: “Prynhawn da, good afternoon; may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, we were wondering if you know anything about yesterday’s car crash?”

Me: “The one at [Tiny Village] about six pm? Yes, it affected my route home – I took a quick diversion through a mountain pass that runs parallel to the main road.”

Customer: “What happened, then?”

Me: “Well, I’m not privy to all the details but from what I hear, nobody died.”

Customer: “Well, that’s good. The poor dears.”

Customer’s Husband: “The poor dears. Anyway, since you said nobody died, we’d like to know how we may apply for compensation?”

Me: “Sir, if you were involved in the accident or a witness you need to contact the police straight away! You could have vital information. Your insurance company might want to know too.”

Customer: “Oh, no, dear, no! Nothing like that.”

Customer’s Husband: “The road had been closed for over an hour when we got there and we didn’t see a thing.”

Me: “Then how could you possibly need compensating? I’m really sorry, but I don’t understand.”

Customer: “Well, the policeman at the road block gave us directions.”

Me: “O… kay?”

Customer’s Husband: “He offered us two routes back to [Town I am working in].”

Customer: “One sounds like that single track road you said you used.”

Customer’s Husband: “And the other was sticking to the main roads and driving back around the mountain range the other way.”

Customer: “We didn’t want to go into the mountains, you see. Imagine if we met another car!”

Customer’s Husband: “So we went the long way. And now we’d like to claim our money back for the extra fuel.”

(I am dumbstruck and stand there with my mouth open for a good few seconds whilst I think of something useful to tell them.)

Me: “Well, sir and ma’am, I’m not aware of any council-run schemes to compensate people for inconveniences or extra costs incurred for those not involved in a roadside emergency. I can give you the number for the department in the council that deals with roadways, but if anything like this IS available, my guess is that it would take the form of an insurance payout from the companies the vehicles actually involved were insured with. I have no idea if you can even get that information, but I can give you contact details for the nearest police station, who should be able to tell you.”

Customer’s Husband: “That sounds complicated.”

Customer: “We were hoping you might have a refund button on your till for it and could just give us cash today.”

Customer’s Husband: “We don’t mind if you have to refund it on our card, though.”

Me: “Sir, you’ve come to a tourist information kiosk. The ONLY functions on my till are for the sale and returns of maps and souvenirs. On the off-chance that there IS a law somewhere that says you may claim compensation for the type of issue you had yesterday, it would be dealt with centrally anyway and you’d get a cheque in the post. As I’ve said, it is NOT something we can deal with here. You would need to contact the police, a solicitor, or perhaps our roadways department.”

Customer: “Okay, well, that’s not really what we wanted to hear, but thank you, dear.”

(I needed to go and make a very strong cup of tea after they left!)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 20
Refunder Blunder, Part 19
Refunder Blunder, Part 18

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Their Argument Comes Apart At The Seams

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular

(I’m an assistant manager at a clothing store, and there is a sales associate we are wanting to promote to management. We are giving her more opportunities to work on her own to see how she handles it. One night, she and I are working together and I tell her I am going to organize our shoes in the back and to let me know if she needs anything. Everything is going fine until about 30 minutes before closing, when she comes back to the stock room.)

Coworker: *visibly upset* “I’m so sorry to bother you, but this customer is out here demanding to speak to a manager. He’s Russian and his English isn’t great, but he wants to buy a jacket for the woman he’s with. He says the threads are loose on the seam and he wants a discount. I told him we could only give him 10% off, and he started yelling and asking for a manager, and I didn’t know what else to do…”

Me: “You handled that just like you should have. I’ll come out and talk to him.”

(I go out to the sales floor and greet the customer and his girlfriend.)

Me: “So, what seems to be the problem with this jacket?”

Customer: “The threads are loose! It is no good! See!”

(He shows me a seam of the jacket that looks fine, but it honestly isn’t the highest quality stitching as the jacket is only $50.)

Me: “I see. Well we can offer you 10% off.”

Customer: “No! You must give it to me for $20. The jacket is no good. This seam is so loose; she will probably wear it five times before it falls apart!”

Me: “I’m sorry sir; the largest discount I can offer for damaged items is 10% off. If you’d like I can call another one of our stores to see if they have the jacket in her size, but I can’t give you a lower price than that.”

Customer: “But how can you sell this for more than $20? It is just going to fall apart!”

(We go around in circles like this for a while, and I start to get fed up and know I need to start shutting the store down soon. I finally run out of patience with the man, who is obviously just trying to bully me into giving him the jacket for a low price.)

Me: “Sir, with all due respect, if you believe this loose stitching is going to cause the whole jacket to fall apart after a few wears, why would you want to buy it at all?”

Customer: *angrily* “I will give you twenty dollars and that is all!”

Me: “Then you will not be purchasing the jacket. Y’all have a great night!”

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This Happens Showtime And Time Again

| Memphis, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(A woman arrives with a large group of children about 30 minutes before we open the front doors. I am in the box office already since people frequently come by to get advance tickets, before any movies actually start, to avoid lines.)

Woman: “Yes, I need one adult and 15 children for [Kid Movie #1]. You all really should have some kind of discount for large groups.”

Me: “Well, we actually do sometimes offer large group discounts, but you have to contact our corporate office to arrange that. If you had informed us you were coming, we could have helped you with it. I can give you the information now in case you come again.”

Woman: *huffing* “Whatever. I’ll just take the tickets for today.”

Me: “Sure.” *upon seeing it doesn’t start for over an hour* “Ma’am, are you aware that movie won’t be starting for another hour? Also, the lobby isn’t open for another 30 minutes, so unfortunately you won’t be able to wait inside for a while.”

Woman: “What?! I checked the times that showed it starting 15 minutes from now!”

(It’s currently 11:30. Typically, movies start at noon or later, but some theaters start at 11:45, so her claim isn’t that odd.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t know what to tell you, but that movie doesn’t start for quite some time.”

Woman: “Your website says it does!”

(I keep our website loaded on my phone for just such occasions as these so I can show people that our website is accurate. I show her my phone.)

Me: “Actually, it doesn’t. See? And, in fact, my ticketing system on this computer is linked directly to our site in order to track online sales. It is not possible for the website to show something different than what I see on my screen. Are you sure you were looking at this theater?”

Woman: “Of course. I’m not an idiot!”

Me: “When did you check, ma’am? Our times change each week as new movies come out.”

Woman: “I checked on Wednesday! I called earlier this week and the girl on the phone told me to check Wednesday!”

Me: *sensing the possibility of another common customer error* “Did you change the date at the top of the screen to today’s date?”

Woman: “Why would I? The girl told me the times would be up Wednesday!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m certain what she meant was that the weekend showtimes would be AVAILABLE on Wednesday, which is true. However, you still have to choose Friday’s date to see Friday’s showtimes.”

Woman: “Well, this is utterly ridiculous! What am I supposed to do now?!”

Me: “Well, we do have [Kids’ Movie #2] seating in…” *checking the time* “…about 20 minutes from now.”

Woman: “No! That’s stupid! We came here to see [Kids’ Movie #1] and that’s what we’re going to see! We’re a big group; just start it now!”

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot start the movie early just for your group. There will no doubt be other customers arriving to see the movie at the correct time and we don’t want them to walk in halfway through the film.”

Woman: “Just put them in another theater, OBVIOUSLY!”

Me: “Ma’am, you have arrived just before opening. All our auditoriums will be starting a show within the next hour or so, and they are very precisely timed so that the staff has time to clean before the next show starts. There is no other theater to put them in, and if we leave them in the correct theater, but move you and start yours early, it will be on for too long for us to start the next show on time. Additionally, moving a film to another auditorium is a lot of work and would take time, nor am I even sure it’s possible as we’ve recently switched to hard drives and no longer use actual film. Everything is controlled by a system housed in Texas. We cannot just push a button to start the movie because you came at the wrong time.”

Woman: “The girl on the phone told me Wednesday! You guys changed it! That’s not my fault! You should have told me! We need to see the movie now!”

Me: “Of course we changed it; three new films came out today! We had to accommodate them. Who was supposed to have told you? We didn’t know you were coming. You cannot see that movie now. You will either have to wait until it starts, watch [Kids’ Movie #2] now, or come back another time.”

Woman: “Get me your manager!”

(I was inside the enclosed box office so I turned off my speaker and called a manager on the radio, explaining the situation in detail before he talked to the woman and she lied about what happened, as customers do FAR too often to get something free. He let her into the lobby to talk, and I have no idea what was said, but he entered the box a few minutes later with what I assumed was her card and rang up tickets for the show the next day. The group then left.)

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Pizza For Medicinal Purposes

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work at a pizza place, whose phone number is very close to the local doctor’s office.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello, I need to place an appointment for my son.”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you have a wrong number. This is the pizza place.”

Caller: “What? Can’t you just transfer me to the office in [Town]?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is the pizza place. We have no association to the doctor’s office, so I can’t transfer you there. The number for the doctor’s office is [number].”

Caller: “Oh. Can I order a pizza?”

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