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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Didn’t See The Smoke Signals

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Underaged

(In Minnesota, it’s the law to card people that look under the age of 40 if they are buying tobacco or tobacco-related products. If you refuse to show ID, even if you look over 18, we cannot sell to you after we’ve asked for it.)

Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

Female Customer: “Can I have a pack of Camel Crush?”

Me: “Sure! Can I see your ID?”

Female Customer: “I don’t have it with me.”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t sell to you without an ID.”

Female Customer: “I’m 28; my birth year is 1986.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell to you without a proper form of identification.”

Female Customer: “Well, fine! I’ll just go somewhere else.”

Me: “Have a nice night.”

(I watch her storm out to the truck on one of our pumps. I watch as a guy gets out of the driver’s side and comes into the store.)

Me: “Hi there! How can I help you?”

Male Customer: “Can I get a pack of Camel Crush and a tin of Grizzly Wintergreen?”

Me: “Sir, if you are trying to buy a pack of cigarettes for the girl that was just in here, then I cannot sell to you.”

Male Customer: “She’s 28.”

(He basically just admitted that he is associated with her and probably buying her cigarettes.)

Me: “It doesn’t matter, sir. She failed to produce a proper form of ID when asked. I cannot sell to either of you.”

Male Customer: “That’s ridiculous. She’s 28 and I smoke, too.”

Me: “That’s the law, sir. You’ve admitted you are trying to buy cigarettes for her and I saw you get out of the same truck she got into. I cannot sell to you.”

Male Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous! I’ll be back in the morning to talk to your manager!”

Me: “Okay, good luck! Make sure to read the signs in the store next time that say we card anyone under 40! Have a nice night!”

(They never talked to a manager or the corporate office.)

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Not A Very Rewarding Experience

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers

Customer: “I have gas on pump four.”

(I’m not seeing a transaction on four (diesel) but one on pump two (regular gas). Both pumps are next to each other and get easily confused.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, do you mean pump two? Pump four is diesel and there isn’t any gas on that pump.”

Customer: “Yes, pump two. That’s what I said.”

Me: “All right, sir. That will be [price].”

Customer: “I have this card, too, but it didn’t work out there.”

(He hands me the rewards card from the store we don’t support.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir but we don’t take [Grocery Store] rewards card. We have a deal with our local grocery store.”

Customer: “That’s fine; I’ll just never get gas here again. Don’t you have a five cent off discount or something?”

Me: “If you use your [Gas Store] credit card or [Other Partner Goods Store] credit card, then it will automatically take off five cents per gallon.”

Customer: “You don’t have a five cent off discount for people that have the [Grocery Store] rewards card?”

Me: “Not unless you use one of those cards, sir.”

Customer: “Well, [Name] at [our other nearby store] gives me a five cent discount all the time because I don’t have that pump perks thing.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not [Name] and this is not that store. This is also the reason we don’t give out the discount because you have access to a list of stores that take that card online and you obviously are abusing the privilege of getting a five cent discount at [our other nearby store].”

Customer: “Whatever. I’m never stopping here again.”

Me: “That’s fine with me, sir. I’ll be sure to inform corporate to tell the other store that they cannot give you a discount in the future for not having the appropriate rewards card and demanding discounts, when you know the store doesn’t participate with that certain reward program. Have a nice day.”

(He stormed out in a huff.)

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I’ve Just Been Planted Here

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I’ve been working at my job for about a week now. I’m in the garden section of our store, something I know next to nothing about, and generally only cash people out. This happens while I’m watering the plants before we close down the section.)

Customer: “Miss, can you tell me about the differences between these two types of cacti?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m a recent hire, and I don’t know much about our plants yet.”

Customer: “Well, you’re here, so you need to answer my question.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m still learning this section. I did not expect to be placed here when I was hired, and I’m usually only a cashier.”

Customer: “But I have a question; you have to answer it! You can’t work in a section you don’t know anything about!”

Me: “Well, seeing as how my boss put me here, yes, I can. I really know nothing about the plants. I don’t even know where everything is yet, and I’m only watering tonight because our usual guy called out.”

Customer: “They wouldn’t make you do a job you don’t know! You just don’t want to help me!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can call someone who knows more about these things, but I assure you, I do not.”

Customer: “BUT YOU’RE WATERING! YOU MUST BE A GARDEN EXPERT!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t even be trusted to keep a goldfish alive; I promise you, this is not a normal part of my job.”

Customer: “BUT YOU HAVE TO KNOW! YOU ARE IN THE PLANTS! YOU MUST KNOW ABOUT THEM!”

Me: “Ma’am, honestly, it took me twenty minutes to figure out the hose. I assure you, you do not want my advice on plant-related things.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I saw a rat in the corner; can you get rid of it?”

Me: *thinking nowhere in my job description does it say I am in charge of getting rid of rats* “Ma’am, we’re outdoors. The rat has as much right to be here as we do. If it gets into the store, I’ll be happy to call maintenance, but otherwise, rats are not included in my job.”

(She walked away after that, still muttering about the rat and how I “must know about these things”!)

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Literally Expecting You To Move Mountains

| Haines, AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

(I am picking up a new set of tourists from the docks to take on a walking tour and notice one standing off to one side staring out across the water at a rather impressive mountain range.)

Me: “Pretty great view, huh?”

Tourist: “Well, it WOULD be if you got rid of those mountains.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Tourist: “Seriously, have you spoken to anyone about it? They really block the view.”

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Frozen In A Repetitive Cycle

| USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in the meat department, and we regularly cut prepackaged meats for customers. An elderly lady walks up and sets something on the counter.)

Me: “What can I do for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I need these cut in half!”

(She then gestures at what she set on the counter: frozen Cornish game hens.)

Me: “I can thaw those out and cut them in half for you, but it will take a bit of time.”

Customer: “No! I want them cut in half while they’re frozen! I don’t want them thawed!”

(Normally I could do such a thing, and have cut frozen chickens and turkeys in half with a bandsaw. The Cornish game hens, however, are far too small to safely cut with the bandsaw.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the game hens are too small—”

Customer: “Quit being so negative! Just cut them in half!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. They’re frozen—”

Customer: “So use that big saw! I know you cut frozen meat here!” *gestures at the bandsaw*

Me: “Yes, frozen things that are big enough to safely cut. These hens are too s—”

Customer: “Quit being so negative! Just cut the chickens in half!”

Me: “The hens are too small—”

Customer: “Just cut them!”

Me: “I am not cutting my fingers off over a game hen! They’re too small to put on the bandsaw! I can either thaw them and cut them, or you’ll have to take them home whole.”

(The customer took them whole, still grumbling that I was being “negative” and should just cut the hens despite the very serious risk of also cutting my fingers off. A few days later I was told by a manager that she attempted to complain that I wouldn’t help her and had a bad attitude – but he sided with me not cutting my fingers off!)

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