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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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The Dining Table Is Where Food Goes In, Not Out

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Popular

(I have a large group, 20 or so people. They are regulars and pleasant customers, so I am happy to be serving them throughout the evening. They stay for two hours in our dining room, no big deal; they are spending money, having a good time, and they are the only people in the dining hall. Everyone else is in the bar dining room. Most of the group has left, except a woman, her husband, and their probably one-year-old child, being breast-fed. I have no problems with her breast-feeding, no one is offended, no one is there to be offended and she has a blanket over herself, but then the woman proceeds to change her child in the dining room on the table.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, and it has been a real pleasure serving you all tonight, but do you mind if I ask that you change your baby in the restroom where we provide a baby changing station. If you’re uncomfortable, we do have sanitation wipes for the station?”

Customer: “Excuse me?! I do mind! My child needs to be changed now. No one else is in this room. Am I disturbing other customers?”

Me: “Again, not to be rude, and I understand that you’re just trying to take care of your child. I’m not personally offended, and no one has complained, but keep in mind we serve food to people on these tables, and it’s just not sanitary.”

Customer: “You’re being very judgmental about this. It’s just a baby. No one else has complained, and I have a mat down. I don’t see why you’re having such a problem with this.”

Me: “I understand where you’re coming from, but again, this isn’t about complaints. It’s about sanitation. If you could please, from now on, make use of the changing station in the women’s restroom, I and management would be grateful.”

(At this point she has almost finished changing her baby, and management supports me in my request for a sanitary dining table.)

Customer: “I’ve done this countless times here. We’re regulars, and no one ever complains. I don’t appreciate you causing a scene.”

(There are no other customers in the dining room. They are all in the bar room. No scene was caused. No one even looked.)

Me: “I’m not trying to cause problems. I’m just making a request that, to help keep this place clean, you use the resources we provide to change diapers.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. We’re leaving. I don’t even want to leave you a tip. You’re just a mean girl who hates children. You probably don’t have any children at home.”

(The guest paid and leaves. There was no tip, which I understood. It didn’t bother me that much because there was a disagreement and sometimes that happens. What bothered me is that she left the dirty diaper on the table, not even wrapped up.)

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Irrational Name Calling

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work at the customer service desk. The phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] of [Town] customer service; how may I direct your call?”

Customer: *irate* “I have been waiting weeks for my order and I’ve heard nothing from you! This is unacceptable!”

Me: “I apologize for the inconvenience. Can I have your phone number to pull up your order?”

Customer: “Every time I call it’s the same thing. You people never actually do anything!”

Me: “Well, I apologize if you’ve had a bad experience but I know nothing about your order and unfortunately there’s nothing I can do to help you without pulling up your order to see what’s going on.”

Customer: “Who am I speaking with?”

Me: “Customer service.”

(I refuse to give out my name to irrational customers.)

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You Can’t Drink Yourself Out Of This Problem

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “What is in your gold margarita?”

(I tell her and she orders one. Five minutes later…)

Customer: “This has a very rustic taste to it.”

Me: “You don’t like it?”

Customer: “It’s like… rustic.”

Me: “Is it too sour? Or too sweet?”

Customer: “It’s very rustic.”

(We go around and around like this until I determine what she means to say is metallic.)

Customer: “Drink it and see what I mean. Get a straw.”

Me: “I’m not going to do that, sorry. I’ll make you a new one or something different though.” *I am visibly pregnant, I should add*

Customer: “Honey, it’s not going to kill you. You should be tasting every drink you send out. Your baby will be fine. Get a straw.”

Me: “I will make you a new margarita.”

Customer: “Taste it first. We gotta work something out here because I can’t drink rustic things.”

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No ID, No Idea, Part 16

| Hampshire, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(We can sell alcohol and cigarettes to those that provide ID but as we often serve regular customers we don’t ask for their ID. The UK legal age to buy alcohol and cigarettes is 18. A regular customer walks in. He looks young but is actually of legal age to purchase said items.)

Customer: “I would like a packet of [Popular Cigarette Brand].”

Me: “Of course.”

(The customer leaves the store. A few minutes later my mum walks in with my sister.)

Mum: “Did you just sell cigarettes to a boy?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s okay. He’s over 18.”

Mum: “Okay, but you should know he just gave them to a girl in a school uniform.”

(I am stunned and a little annoyed but forget about the incident until later, when the customer walks back into the store to buy food.)

Customer: “Hey again, I forgot to pick up some things.”

Me: “No problem. Just to let you know, I can’t stop you from buying cigarettes for yourself, but in the  future I recommend you don’t give them to those that are underage.”

Customer: “I didn’t give my d*** cigarettes to anyone!”

Me: “A customer walked in after you purchased the cigarettes and told me you handed them to a girl in a school uniform.”

Customer: “Fine, whatever.” *pays and walks out*

(A little more time passes, I forget about the incident. I am stocking the shelves when a woman storms up to me.)

Woman: “You refused to sell my son cigarettes! He’s over legal age! We come in this store all the time!”

Me: *realising she’s talking about the earlier incident* “I’m sorry, I think there’s been some kind of miscommunication. I didn’t refuse your son service. I just told him he shouldn’t give his cigarettes to minors.”

Woman: “My son would never do such a thing! You’re a f****** liar!”

Me: “I have a very reliable eyewitness that he did.”

Woman: “Oh, so you have other customers spying on us now then? Who ratted him out?”

Me: “My mum. And to repeat myself: We have a very clear policy that we cannot sell +18 products to those intending to buy for those that are underage. If I sell cigarettes to your son and a police officer sees him give them to someone underage, he could suffer a huge fine and would could lose our license.”

Woman: “I don’t give a d*** about your f****** license.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”

(The woman walks out. A few months later, I am working in a different store, but I decide to pop in to the original store to see how the manager is doing.)

Manager: “Hey, did you know that [Customer] got prosecuted?”

Me: “No, why?”

Manager: “They caught him selling cigarettes to minors.”

(Apparently the girl in the uniform was his sister and he’d been buying her cigarettes, which she’d been selling at her local school. Luckily they didn’t trace any of the purchases back to our company!)

Related:

No ID, No Idea, Part 15

No ID, No Idea, Part 14

No ID, No Idea, Part 13

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Damaging Customer Relations

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I’m working in the handbags section of the store. A customer approaches me with two of the same bag, but in different colors. One has blue and green tones while the other is neutral colors, like brown, pale pink, beige.)

Customer: “Could I ask for your opinion?

Me: “Sure! Trying to decide between these two?”

Customer: “Yes. I like the green and blue better but I’m not sure what I’d wear it with.”

Me: “Well, the neutral colors would be easier to match, so you could get more use out of it.”

Customer: “Maybe I’ll get both.”

(The customer looks at the tags, and they are each $30. She doesn’t want to spend much more than that.)

Me: “If they were a little cheaper, I would say buy both.”

Customer:Can they be cheaper?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Can you get me a discount?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we only discount damaged merchandise.”

Customer: “Well, could you damage it?”

(I wait for her to laugh, but she just looks at me, expecting I will help her.)

Me: “No… No, I can not.”

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