Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


One Onion Ring To Rule Them All

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “I need to make a complaint about your onion rings!”

Boss: “What is the problem with them, sir?”

Customer: “They are elliptical in shape. They are not rings; they are ovals!”

(My boss actually had to have someone go through a bag of onion rings to pick out enough perfectly circular onion rings to remake his order.)


It’s Been A Hard Year

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays

(The customer approaches the register, puts out an open bag of licorice, and a receipt.)

Customer: “I bought it for Easter and it was hard as a rock.”

(The receipt is dated for March the year before.)

Me: “Ma’am, it’s over 30 days. I can’t return this.”

Customer: *yelling* “But I bought it for Easter!”


Save The Bad Vibes For The Bad Customers

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Language & Words, Popular

(I work in a toy store at customer service. A new flyer comes out every Friday, which is the day that this call takes place.)

Me: “Good morning. [Company and Location]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for [particular toy] in your flyer. Can you please put one on hold for me?”

Me: “If you would give me a few minutes I can confirm for you that we do have them in stock, and I will place a hold for you.”

(Puts customer on hold.)

Coworker: *to me* “We don’t have any of those; we sold out of them before the sale even started.”

Me: *picks up phone* “Hello. So, unfortunately it looks like we don’t have any of that toy in stock. Would you like me to issue you a rain check or check another store in the area to see if they have it?”

Customer: *yelling* “What the h*** is your problem? Every time I call you never have what I’m looking for!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I understand how that might be frustrating. Unfortunately, the flyers are run country-wide, so sometimes the stock in a few stores can be quite low at the time of a sale.”

Customer: “What kind of half-a**ed excuse is that? I’m not digging your vibe; give me a manager.”

Me: *holds the phone out to a manager without putting customer on hold* “Someone isn’t digging my vibe on line one. Can you please speak to her?”


So Cheap It’s A Steal

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(The store is featuring a huge sale on clearance. For example, items marked down to $19 from an original price of $50+ are ringing up for $8.99. A customer comes up with two items that ring up $4.99 each, at least an 80% markdown from the original price.)

Customer: “Can I use this $10 off coupon I got on my phone?”

Me: “I’m so sorry. That coupon can only be used on regularly priced items. And it specifies that it’s $10 off $50 in purchases.”

Customer: “Well, how can I get another discount, then? Do you have any coupons I can use to bring down the price?”

Me: *after blinking out of sheer shock* “I… I guess you could steal it?”

(Thankfully, my manager heard my reply and started cracking up.)



| Petach Tikva, Israel | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Technology

(I’m working the night shift on a Friday, around 3 am.)

Me: “[ISP]. This is [My Name] at your service.”

Customer: “My Internet isn’t working, and I know why! It’s because of [unintelligible].”

(I thought I’d heard something about spies, but I wasn’t sure, so I just kept going.)

Me: “I see. Let’s figure out what the problem is, so we can find a solution.”

Customer: “But I know what the problem is! I’m being spied on! It’s the spies! They’re ruining my Internet.”

Me: *sticking to the protocol that exists exactly for that purpose* “Well, if you’re sure someone is spying on you, you have to contact the police.”

Customer: “Nah, I don’t need to call the police. I’m not that paranoid. Anyway, they’re spying on me, too, so they probably know all about it.”

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