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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Doesn’t Register How Stupid You’re Being

| Nottingham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I work in a retail chain selling car parts and accessories. We are often asked by customers to look up parts for their vehicle. The most accurate way to search is using the car’s registration number. One day a customer marches up to me and, without first politely asking for my attention or assistance, he barks his order at me.)

Customer: “I want brake pads for my car.”

Me: *politely* “Sure, can I take your registration number, please?”

Customer: *getting instantly high rate* “Why should I tell you that? I’m not giving you my registration number.”

Me: “It’s the most accurate way of finding out what parts you need. If you’d rather not give me the registration that’s fine I can do a manual search. What car is it?”

Customer: “I’m not telling you what car I have!”

Me: “How am I supposed to tell you what parts you need without telling me what car you have?”

Customer: “You should just know.”

Me: “Sir, with the kindest of respects there are thousands of different vehicles on the road with literally hundreds of thousands of parts available. Even a fully qualified mechanic would first need to look up what parts are required for a particular vehicle and we’re not mechanics here; we just work in a shop. Besides it would be impossible for anybody to tell you what parts are required without first knowing what car it is!”

Customer: “Fine, it’s a Ford.”

Me: “And what model Ford is it?”

Customer: “A blue one.”

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Nothing Scarier Than Childbirth

| Budapest, Hungary | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I am working in a cinema as a cashier. It is late at night, a few minutes before midnight. A very pregnant woman comes in.)

Me: “Good evening, madame, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Is [Horror Movie] scary?”

Me: “I don’t know; I haven’t seen it, but I suppose.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take one adult ticket.”

Me: “Okay. where do you want to sit?”

Customer: “I would like to sit near the stairs, because I’m in my ninth month and probably I will start labour.”

Me: “Do you want to talk to my manager about it? If you do start labour, won’t that be a problem?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I have three children. It happens all the time!”

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Looking At Life Through Google Goggles

| QC, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work at a drop-off location for a popular shipping service. People who weren’t home to receive their packages can come to pick it up at our location at a later time. We’re about to close for the night when this customer comes in with his pick-up notice.)

Customer: “I need my package tonight! Please!”

Me: *taking a look at his notice* “Unfortunately, sir, the notice specifies that your package is at our sister location at [Other Side of Town].”

Customer: “But I googled the address! It has to be here!”

Me: “I understand, sir, but unfortunately we’re not located at [sister location at Other Side of Town]. May I suggest next time you phone to confirm an address first when Google’s information seems doubtful?”

Customer: “NO! GOOGLE IS NEVER WRONG! I wanna speak to your manager! This is unacceptable! He has to fix this!”

(We let him rant until he ran out of steam and left.)

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Go Nuts For Donuts

| Macomb, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I just started at a local donut shop. My manager gets an angry call from a customer about how she didn’t like her donuts. She turns to me and says the customer will be in for a new dozen and to not charge her.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m here for my free donuts.”

Me: “Yes, I have them right here.” *hands box*

(The customer opens the box.)

Customer: “No! You messed up again.” *rolls eyes* “I asked for an assorted dozen and you gave me crunchy ones! How am I supposed to eat these?”

(The coworker walks over to help.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, you asked for an assorted dozen. We gave you random donuts that are most popular. It’s not our fault if you wanted specific ones and didn’t tell us.”

Customer’s Friend: “I work at [Same Shop] and corporate would be very upset if they knew how many donuts you had left!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we are privately owned. Our donut order was cut in half since our donut maker is in the hospital this morning.”

Coworker: “You came in on a Saturday, our busiest donut day, at seven pm. We don’t have many donuts left…”

Customer: “You f***** b****! Oh, my god! I want my donuts. Get your manager. You’re getting in trouble!”

(The stupid customer was awarded another free batch of donuts and a drink. The customer comes in next week.)

Customer: “I was going to punch [Coworker] straight in the face but I didn’t want to go to jail! She’s lucky! IS SHE FIRED YET?!”

Me: “No, ma’am…”

(I literally hate this customer.)

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Internet Sandwich Provider

| Austria | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [ISP]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Yes, I wanted to complain about the cheese sandwiches you delivered. The cheese was old, all glossy, and the spread cheese was dried out and crumply.”

Me: “Erh… ma’am, I think you might have the wrong number. We’re an ISP. Not a catering service.”

Caller: “Oh. Sorry.” *click*

(A few minutes later…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [ISP]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Yes, the sandwiches you delivered, they were old. The cheese slices were all glossy and hard, and the spread cheese was dried out!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry for your misfortune with your caterer, but we are still an ISP.”

Caller: “NO!”

Me: “Er… yes, we are. Unless management rolled out another product again and didn’t inform us… those cheese rolls aren’t our fault.”

Caller: “That is the phone number on the invoice!”

Me: “Ma’am. Please. Believe me. This is the wrong number. That’s not our cheese. You can get Internet, cable TV, and landline phone here, but unless you can squeeze it through a cable, it’s not one of our products!”

Caller: *click*

(A few minutes later…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [ISP]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “About those sandwiches…”

Me: “Ma’am! We are still an ISP. Please find the correct number and…”

Caller: “Nooo! It’s the RIGHT number! I called it right! You just pretend you’re not [Caterer]!”

Me: “Ma’am! Please, tell me what you want from me!”

Caller: “I want you to not charge me for those stale sandwiches!”

Me: “Ma’am, I give you my word: we will not charge you for those sandwiches.”

Caller: “Finally!” *click*

(I closed the ticket with a “do not charge for sandwiches” comment, which my superior fully supported when I had to relay the story to him.)

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