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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Dead Bird-Brained

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work at an all species vet clinic. The receptionist pages back, in a worried tone, for a tech to come up to discuss issues with bird food with a client.)

Me: “I understand you have some questions about bird food?”

Client: “Yes! I keep this bag of chicken scratch in my barn and there’s a dead bird in it!”

Me: “Oh, my. That certainly isn’t right! I see the bag has a label from—”

Client: “Who put it there?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Client: “Who put it there? Who’s trying to poison my chickens?”

Me: “I’m sure no one’s trying to poison your chickens, sir. It’s possible a bird flew in—”

Client: “You sell tainted food to get chickens sick. That’s how you make money!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you we would not risk an animal’s health to make money. I see the bag is from [Farming Supply Company]; we do not even sell that food. It may be a quality control issue on their end, so I would definitely contact the company to report it. Their number is right here on the bag. I would not use this bag to feed your chickens.”

Client: “So, you didn’t put the sea bird there?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Okay, have a nice day.”

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Trying To Manufacture A Different Price

| LA, USA | Crazy Requests

(The store I work at sells appliance parts. I take a phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]!”

Caller: “Hi, I need a price on a pump for my washing machine.”

Me: “All right, do you have the model number?”

(Amazingly she does, and the call proceeds normally as I look up the part for her and quote the price.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I have this pump in stock, and your price would be $102.71, plus tax.”

Customer: “Oh, wow, that much? Um… would you be able to refer me to someone who might have it cheaper?”

Me: “Uh… not really… That’s the manufacturer’s price, and—”

Customer: “So, non-negotiable, right?”

Me: “I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “D***! Okay, thanks anyway.”

(She hangs up.)

Me: *to coworker* “Apparently people want us to send them to our competitors and still stay in business!”

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Someone Needs To Be The Voicebox Of Reason

| TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “I don’t appreciate the service here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, why is that?”

Customer: “That little girl in the back window is very rude. She looked at my husband weird. He has a voicebox for his neck.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am.”

Customer: “Tell you what. Give us our food for free and we won’t sue you guys.”

Me: “…”

(We never got sued for it.)

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That Last Part Is The Icing On The Pancake

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It’s Sunday morning, during our breakfast menu.)

Me: *hearing the door open* “Good morning!”

Customer: “Do you guys have any platters where I can just get sausage and eggs?”

Me: *searching through the options on the screen* “Hey, [Coworker], do we have platters without pancakes?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

Me: “He wants to get just eggs and sausage on a platter.”

Coworker: “We can ring him up just the sides.”

Customer: “How much would that be?”

Me: *ringing up the eggs and sausage* “It’s gonna be about $5. Did you want to try the ultimate?”

Customer: “What does it come with?”

Me: “It has the eggs, sausage, we’ll replace the pancakes with another side of sausage. And you get a side of hashbrowns with it.”

Customer: “Bacon.”

Me: “Not the sausage?”

Customer: “No, just bacon. How much?”

(I cash out the customer while my coworker shouts the order back to kitchen, repeating it several times so that kitchen can actually understand it. She tells them it’s with the pancakes; I correct them that that’s being replaced with the bacon. This entire time, the customer is still right next to me, and can hear everything the two of us have said. When it comes out, half of the tray is covered with bacon, while the rest is with scrambled eggs.)

Customer: *interrupting me while I’m bagging the order* “What’s in that platter?”

Me: “It’s just the bacon and eggs, like you wanted.”

Customer: “No, you charged me for the ultimate. You charged me for the pancakes. Give me them.”

Me: “We replaced the pancakes with the bacon like you wanted.”

Customer: “You charged me for pancakes. Give me my pancakes.”

Me: “All right, just a moment, please.” *starts walking away*

Customer: “No ‘just a moment.’ Give it now!”

Me: “I need to get my manager.”

(I quickly explain the situation to the manager on shift, explaining that we gave him what he wanted and was charged for.)

Manager: *after about a minute, to the kitchen* “I need some pancakes, please!”

(At this point, I’ve holed myself at the specialty drink station, doing the morning prep.)

Me: *to Coworker* “Please give me something to justify my staying here until he leaves…”

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Crazy From Eight Ways To Sunday

| UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work for a broadband and telephone company. I am on the ordering provisioning team who arranges for telephone lines to be installed. I am dealing with a returning customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure you want to port your phone number into our network? That can take up to 10 working days. If we set you up with a new number you could be connected by tomorrow.”

Customer: “No, I worked very hard for that number. It has no eights you see. It’s why I left your company in the first place.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “I don’t like the number eight. On my last bill with your company there was a call charged at £8.88… The phantom phone call. I want to keep my number.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’ll order this now and be in touch over the next 24 hours.”

Customer: “Do you have a number I can contact you on?”

Me: “Certainly, it’s 028—”

Customer: *gasps and hangs up*

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