Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Don’t Sell Yourself Short On Independence Day

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m part of a store ops team for a very well-known store. The company makes the decisions and rules, and I follow them. A customer has just approached me.)

Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure!”

Customer: “Where do you get off advertising summer chairs and beach towels and stuff when you barely have any in the store?”

Me: “Uh… well, we’ve sold out of a lot of our summer stuff already.”

Customer: “I understand that part but it’s not even the 4th of July and you’re already getting rid of the summer stuff…”

(She walked away mid-sentence, angry and presumably still talking but not anywhere near me. Also, it was two days before the 4th of July and these products were on sale for months already.)


Saying Freeze And Thank You

| USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer walks up to my window.)

Me: “Hello! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes, one of your customers just gave me this check, and I want to be sure it will clear before I deposit it in my bank.”

(This is a fairly common request. We are allowed to either confirm or deny that a check will “clear” without giving out any other information about the check-writer’s account.)

Me: “Sure, I can help you with that.”

(I pull up the account and discover that it will clear easily.)

Me: “Yes, sir, it will clear.”

Customer: “Great. Now, I want you to put a freeze on the funds so it will still clear tomorrow. I’m not from here, so I won’t get to my bank until then.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Since you’re not an owner of the account, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, I just don’t understand.”

Me: “Sir, is your name on the account?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I can’t take any direction from you on what to do with it.”

Customer: “I’m not asking to take money out of their account. I am asking you to put a freeze on the funds so that they will still be there tomorrow. How hard is that?”

Me: “So, just to get this straight, you would like me to put a freeze on funds on an account that your name is not on, and you have no ownership claims on whatsoever?”

Customer: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

Me: “I still can’t do that.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?!”

Me: “Because your name is not on the account. I cannot do anything to this account because your name is not on it. This account is not owned by you. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “FINE!” *stomps out*

Coworker: “Did he really think that was an okay thing to do?”

Me: “I wonder about the general public sometimes…”

(Not the first time I’ve gotten a request to “freeze” funds on someone’s account, but definitely the most belligerent reaction!)


Coming Around To Not Coming Back

| Cheshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I am on the opening shift, which means I’m on my own on the tills for at least an hour. A woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Excuse me, can you tell me where [Product] is?”

Me: “If you go down the aisle on the far left and then take the first on your left, it should be on a shelf down there.”

Woman: “Can’t you take me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. I have to stay on the tills.”

Woman: “Well, that’s no good!”

Me: “I could call a member of floor staff to take you there?”

Woman: “Don’t bother. I’m not coming back here again. The customer service is terrible.”

(She leaves in a huff, and another customer who was waiting just raises her eyebrows.)

Customer: “I bet you’re heartbroken that she’s not coming back, aren’t you?”

(I laughed.)


License To Be An A**-Hole

| NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work the knife display and license-sale counter at a well-known sporting goods store. We are currently having problems with our state-issued fishing and hunting license printer, so there is a huge sign on both accessible sides of the counter informing customers that we cannot sell any licenses at this time. I am currently assisting a young lady who is looking for a knife for her husband’s birthday when a man walks up and strikes the other side of the counter behind me with his fist.)

Me: *turning to him, startled* “I will be right with you, sir.”

Male Customer: “You d***-well had better be. I am not going to wait here all day for service!”

Female Customer: *sensing an issue* “It’s fine if you want to help him first; I am still choosing, anyway.”

Me: *to Male Customer* “Yes, sir, how may I help you today?”

Male Customer: *waving his ID in my face* “Well, this is the license counter, ain’t it? So OBVIOUSLY I want a LICENSE, don’t I?”

Me: *pointing to the poster size sign he is currently standing right in front of* “I apologize, sir, but we cannot issue licenses at this time. The closest license retailer to us is on [Road five minutes away].”

Male Customer: *cramming his wallet back in his pocket* “You just don’t know how to print a f***ing license. Where’s someone else to help?”

Me: “Sir, you can have one issued to you on [Road five minutes away] by [Sister Store] or by [Competitor Store on same road]. We cannot print any licenses at this time. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Male Customer: “I ain’t goin’ to [Road five minutes away] and I sure as s*** ain’t going to [Sister Store]. Where. Can. I. Get. A license. TODAY?!”

Me: “Sir, the closest place you can get one is [Road five minutes away] at [Sister Store] OR at [Competitor Store on same road].”

Male Customer: “Do you not understand…? Y’know what, NEVER MIND!” *storms away*

Me: “Have a great day!”

Male Customer: *shouting* “F*** YOU!”

Female Customer: *flabbergasted* “Does he know you work around knives? I would cut his balls right off!”


Just A Spoon Full Of Idiocy Helps The Medicine Go Down

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Popular

(A patient has come in to be evaluated for an anxiety attack. He has a history of this in his chart, and has been prescribed medication for the condition.)

Doctor: “So, I see you’ve been here before for anxiety in the past. Was today similar to your previous visits?”

Patient: “Yeah. It’s just that I’ve been getting more and more anxious lately.”

Doctor: “When did your symptoms start getting worse?”

Patient: “Oh, about three months ago when I stopped taking my anxiety medications.”

Doctor: “So… you are saying you stopped taking your medication and now your symptoms are getting worse?”

Patient: “Yeah. I read somewhere that pills are bad for you, so I just stopped taking everything.”

Doctor: “I… Well, if you won’t take any medications, what exactly were you hoping we could do for you today?”

Patient: “Fix me! But, like, without medicine?”

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