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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Doesn’t Want To Milk It For Every Penny

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(Our store has been testing a new pricing plan, with a huge price cut to basic items to get customers in the door. Milk has gone down to $1.08 for a gallon. Most people are ecstatic, but not everyone…)

Customer: “Excuse me, why is this milk so cheap?”

Me: “Our store is testing a new pricing plan. Corporate has recently decided to compete with [Small Grocery Store] across the street, and we ended up in a small pricing war.”

Customer: “But what’s wrong with it? That doesn’t make sense! Overseas they pay $8 for a gallon of milk!”

Me: “Well, we have more room to raise cows than many other countries.” *shrug*

Customer: “Well, I’m not buying this! I’m going to [Expensive Grocery Chain], where milk is a reasonable price!

(The kicker is that the same company delivers the same milk to our store and where the customer said she was going.)

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A Tow-tal Breakdown

| Lexington, KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Transportation

(I work at a roadside assistance call center. I take calls for customers who need a tow, tire change, unlocking, etc…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; are you in a safe location?”

Caller: “Hello? I need you to tow my car.”

Me: “All right, where is the car located?”

Caller: “I don’t know. That’s why I need you to get it.”

Me: *thinking she broke down and didn’t know where she was* “Okay, what city are you in?”

Caller: “Me? I’m in Cincinnati. That’s where you can bring it when you get it.”

Me: “Oh, is someone else with the car?”

Caller: “Yeah, my boyfriend.”

Me: “Okay… Do you want to have him call me with an address of the car’s location?”

Caller: “He’s not answering his phone.”

Me: “Well, we need to know where the car is in order to tow it somewhere.”

Caller: “Are you listening to me? I don’t know where it is! My boyfriend got mad and took off with it! That’s why I need you to bring it back!”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t tow a vehicle unless we know where it is.”

Caller: “Why the heck not?”

Me: “Where would we send the tow truck? If you don’t know where the car is, how do you expect us to find it?”

Caller: “Well, what else am I supposed to do? He took my car without my permission!”

Me: “Perhaps you should call the police.”

Caller: “You know what? That’s a great idea!” *click*

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Going Off On Flights Of Fancy

| Reykjavik, Iceland | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work at a sales desk at a bus company and we have to answer the phones as well. We provide an airport shuttle so we follow the landing times at the airport when picking up passengers. One night a woman phones in:)

Me: “[Bus Company]; good evening.”

Customer: “Hi. My friend is flying in from [Country]. When will she be home?”

Me: “Well, according to our information there are two flights coming in today from [Country]. Do you know which airline she is flying with?”

Customer: “No, can’t you look it up for me?”

Me: “No, ma’am. This is a bus company. I have no access to another company’s system, and I am pretty sure that would violate some privacy laws. If you can tell me when you were expecting her, during the day, morning, afternoon, or evening, I could help you make an educated guess, but I still cannot answer for the flight company as I only work for a bus company.”

Customer: “I used to work for your company many years ago and we did this all the time! She is my friend and neighbour! Just look it up for me!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. I really cannot. This company does not have access to passenger lists of other companies nor is it legal even if I had the information.”

(The customer continues with a four-minute rant about poor customer service and this would not have been a problem when she had worked there. I politely suggest that maybe she should take a nice evening stroll over to her friends place and see if she’s home.)

Customer: “Why didn’t I think of that!? Still poor customer service; I still have to get out of my house to be sure!” *slams down phone*

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The Hunger Blames

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Religion

(I am working at the register in a bookstore when I see an older woman come in. She walks over to my coworker, who is shelving some copies of The Hunger Games when the lady asks him to help her reach a book.)

Customer: “Could you please help me reach a copy of the bible?”

Coworker: “Of course. If you’d give me a minute I’ll be right there.”

Customer: “Hold on. Do you have any other associates who could help me?”

Coworker: “Only [My Name] and I’m afraid she can’t currently help you as she is working at the register. I will be with you shortly.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want you touching my book! It’s for my grandson. But I don’t want it to be purchased from the same store that sells books like this! The Hunger Games is a very violent book and it should not be sold here. I want someone else to help me.”

Coworker: “Can I please point out that [My Name] works here, too? And I am sorry that you disapprove of this book, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”

Customer: “You are the one who is touching those books! I don’t want your blasphemous hands to touch it.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but if you don’t calm down I’m going to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “You know what? FINE! All I WANTED WAS A D*** BIBLE! But I guess I’m not getting one. I won’t be returning to your horrible bookstore. I’m going to speak to your supervisor. He’ll be appalled that you sell these books.”

(She slams a row of books to the floor then storms out.)

Coworker: “My ‘blasphemous hands’?”

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Refunder Blunder, Part 22

, | Red Deer, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(It is a busy day at work and the phone keeps ringing. Since I am the only person at customer service, I am supposed to answer the phones, and if I am on the phone and a customer walks up I am supposed to let them know that as soon as I finish on the phone I will help them with whatever they need.)

Me: *on the phone with the customer* “I hope I helped you with everything you needed. Thank you for calling, and please have a nice day.”

Customer: *tapping her fingernails on the counter* “FINA-F***ING-LY! I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes waiting for someone to help me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am terribly sorry, but I am the only one at customer service today, because my coworker called in sick, but I am here to help you with whatever you need. Do you want to do a return today?”

Customer: *pulls a box for a cordless phone out of a bag* “This phone won’t work anymore; I would like a refund.”

Me: “Okay, I would be happy to help. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: *huffing and puffing* “Why would I need my receipt? I bought it here and I would like a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our store policy is that without a receipt we cannot accept refunds on open-boxed products. Luckily, the receipt would still be in our system. Do you have the original method of payment with you?”

Customer: “I do.” *hands me her debit card*

Me: “Okay, great! I just need to know when you purchased the product.”

Customer: “Shouldn’t you already know that?! You have my debit card.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but we have to search for it by the date as well. We have regular customers that purchase so many things each month. It helps us find the exact date the product was purchased so we can reprint the receipt for you.”

Customer: “The product was purchased April of 2012.”

Me: *hands the customer her card* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this. It is out of policy.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I shop here all the time!”

Me: “Our return policy is 30 days. Some items are only eligible for 14 day return policy, with a 14 day grace period. I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this.”

Customer: “This is f****ng ridiculous! I’m going to [Competitor]. They do a return no matter what!”

Me: “Ma’am, I was customer service for [Competitor]; they are going to tell you the same thing, and because you never bought it there, they won’t return it.”

(The customer stormed out of the store. She pushed one of our GMs out of the way while she left. I made a phone call to the competitor store telling them she was on the way and they phoned all the other stores around the area. She never got her refund. She went on to our website and complained about me ruining the return for her.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 21

Refunder Blunder, Part 20
Refunder Blunder, Part 19

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