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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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A Shocking Request

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(I work at a call center for a cell phone company. A customer has called in to see what her options are as her son’s phone was stolen by someone at his school. She is also at the police station while the call is going on. A supervisor happens to be listening to my call as well. By this point , I’ve explained her options and am working on putting a hold on the line so no calls, texts, or data can be used.)

Caller: “Can you tell me who has his phone? I want to make sure they are punished.”

Me: “I’m afraid we have no way of tracking the phone. At best we could see what tower it was connected to last but that covers a broad area. I see it’s an iPhone; I could give you the information for the “Find my iPhone App” which should help in the future. You already in contact with your local police, which is also good.”

Caller: “Just get into the camera!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Caller: “You know, just get into the camera on his phone and take pictures of the boys who stole his phone and send them to me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid there is no way to do that.”

Caller: “Okay, fine. Just shock them, then.”

(At this point I look over at my supervisor, who looks just as confused as I do.)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “You don’t have to shock them hard; just make the phone shock them a little.”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no way for me to shock someone.”

Caller: “Well, can’t you make the phone squirt blue paint on them so we can find them?”

(I’m trying to keep it together, which isn’t helped by the fact my supervisor is laughing quietly next to me. I regain my composure.)

Me: “I’m sorry but that technology doesn’t currently exist. I have given you all the options we have available at the present time. Your son’s line has a hold put on it so it can’t be used in anyway which would impact your bill. Please let us know if you recover his phone.”

(Somehow I managed to end the call before I burst out laughing. My supervisor didn’t even care I took myself out of the queue for a few minutes. Neither of us could quite believe the customer was dead serious the entire time.)

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Not Horsing Around About It

| USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a pretty popular national drive-in themed fast food place that has a special on shakes after 8:00 pm. It’s a slow night when the following happens.)

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

Customer: “Yeah, my friend wants a cheesecake milkshake, and I’ll take a large strawberry shake.”

Me: “All right, anything else for you tonight?”

Customer: “Yeah, on the strawberry shake, I want you to draw a horse on it.”

Me: *thinking I misheard* “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: “I want you to draw a horse on it.”

Me: *to my manager* “He wants me to draw a horse on it.”

Manager: “Can you draw a horse?”

Me: “Sure.”

Manager: “Go for it.”

(I drew the horse. Never heard from that guy again.)

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Glossing Over The Details

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a large chain retail store, and my location happens to have a small photo kiosk in it. I notice a customer who seems to be having some difficulty with his prints.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “I just can’t seem to figure out how to get the pictures to print on matte paper… I can’t find the option to change it from glossy.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We actually only carry glossy paper.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I need it on matte. How do I get it to print matte?”

Me: “We can’t. We don’t carry matte; our only option is glossy.”

Customer: “But I’m a professional photographer, and my customers requested matte paper. I can’t give them glossy. It just looks unprofessional. So, how can I fix this?”

Me: “I can try to look up other printers in the area for you, but unfortunately we won’t be able to do that for you. We only have glossy paper.”

Customer: “Well, fine! In that case, I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

(He picks up his prints and starts towards the door.)

Me: “Sir, you haven’t paid for those yet.”

Customer: “But they didn’t come out right. I’m not paying for them.”

Me: “If you take them, I have to charge you for them. Otherwise, we can dispose of them.”

Customer: “No! I’m a professional photographer, I can’t risk someone stealing them out of your trash and using them for their own profit!”

Me: “We can shred them for you.”

Customer: “But if you’re just going to throw them away anyway. Why can’t I just take them?”

(I finally convince the customer he has to pay for the prints before he can take them, and he leaves, still grumbling about how they’re defective because they’re not on matte paper.)

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We Are Siamese If You Don’t Please

| WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I’m the customer here. I have two long haired twin male cats that look Siamese but aren’t. I adore them and my debit card is a picture of them. I get asked about them a lot. I’m at the checkout buying cat food.)

Cashier: “Oh, they’re beautiful. Are they yours?”

(Someone grunts behind me.)

Me: “Yes, they’re mine. They’re twins!”

Cashier: “Wow! How old—”

Lady Behind Me: “Get real. They aren’t yours. You stole that picture from the Google!”

Me: *turning to face her* “No, I didn’t. Their names are [Names] and they’re mine. I’ve had them since they were five weeks old.”

Lady Behind Me: “That’s impossible. Cats don’t look like that! Quit lying! This girl is lying about her cats!”

(I pull out my phone and start scrolling through my pictures, where there are about 500 pictures of my cats.)

Me: “See? Mine.”

Lady Behind Me: “How much?”

Me: “Excuse me? They aren’t for sale, ma’am. ”

Lady Behind Me: “Everything has a price. How much are they? I’ll give you $1000 each.”

Me: “Lady, you can’t afford them. Nice try. Leave me alone.”

(I turn to pay and get my receipt, and the lady grabs my arm.)

Lady Behind Me: “TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS!”

Me: “You. Can’t. Afford. Them. Go. Away!”

Lady Behind Me: “Five grand each!”

(I had enough. All the money in the world couldn’t buy my cats, they’re mine. I turned to the lady.)

Me: “You mean you’ll give me ten thousand dollars for my cats, right now, today?”

Lady Behind Me: *smiling* “Yes, dear. I will. What is your address? I’ll pick them up tonight.”

Me: “It’s 123 Learn What No Means Avenue. Now leave me alone. My cats are hungry.”

Lady Behind Me: “I will follow you! I’ll get those cats!”

Me: “I dare you. The police will be waiting at my house for you. Now, go away.”

(Instead of buying her things, she followed me to the parking lot, screaming to everyone about how I wouldn’t sell her my cats. She followed me home, where an officer was waiting. She got a fine and screamed that I didn’t know what real money is. I told her I had more than enough money. I paid for the cat food with the last twenty dollars I had to my name, but she didn’t need to know that.)

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A Weighty Issue

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I work in a call centre that offers customer support for an outdoors-activity company.)

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached [Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, I wish to book some tickets for the wild-water rafting”

Me: “With pleasure, how many people will be attending?”

Customer: “Five adults and my son.”

Me: “Great! Could I please verify the weight of your son?”

Customer: “He is about 80 pounds.”

Me: “I am sorry, we have a weight-minimum of 90 pounds for the wild-water rafting. But can I interest you in the lazy-river tour? This is a more family-friendly activity and many people like it a lot.”

Customer: “No, we really want to do the rafting. Why does he need to weigh so much?”

Me: “Children need to weigh at least 90 pounds so they are not thrown too easily out of the boat. We do offer life-jackets, but wish to prevent an incident.”

Customer: “That’s ok. You know what? I will put some rocks in his pockets until he weighs 90 pounds. Can I buy the tickets now?”

(I am stunned and hope silently the lady will realize by herself how crazy the idea is of putting stones in the pockets of your kid and then putting him on a rubber boat in the middle of a very wild river with rapids of class R-III to R-IV +. After a couple of seconds of silence I realize she does not see the issue.)

Me: “I am sorry, but we do not allow stones to weigh down the children.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why not. Can I please talk to your supervisor?”

(I put her through, turned around to my supervisor, and explained the situation. She turned a bit white and then burst out laughing.

During the next 10 minutes she tried explaining to the lady why it was a bad idea, but the customer wouldn’t have it. The call was closed with the customer stating she would buy tickets at our competitors.)

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