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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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The Hunger Blames

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Religion

(I am working at the register in a bookstore when I see an older woman come in. She walks over to my coworker, who is shelving some copies of The Hunger Games when the lady asks him to help her reach a book.)

Customer: “Could you please help me reach a copy of the bible?”

Coworker: “Of course. If you’d give me a minute I’ll be right there.”

Customer: “Hold on. Do you have any other associates who could help me?”

Coworker: “Only [My Name] and I’m afraid she can’t currently help you as she is working at the register. I will be with you shortly.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want you touching my book! It’s for my grandson. But I don’t want it to be purchased from the same store that sells books like this! The Hunger Games is a very violent book and it should not be sold here. I want someone else to help me.”

Coworker: “Can I please point out that [My Name] works here, too? And I am sorry that you disapprove of this book, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.”

Customer: “You are the one who is touching those books! I don’t want your blasphemous hands to touch it.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but if you don’t calm down I’m going to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “You know what? FINE! All I WANTED WAS A D*** BIBLE! But I guess I’m not getting one. I won’t be returning to your horrible bookstore. I’m going to speak to your supervisor. He’ll be appalled that you sell these books.”

(She slams a row of books to the floor then storms out.)

Coworker: “My ‘blasphemous hands’?”

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Refunder Blunder, Part 22

, | Red Deer, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(It is a busy day at work and the phone keeps ringing. Since I am the only person at customer service, I am supposed to answer the phones, and if I am on the phone and a customer walks up I am supposed to let them know that as soon as I finish on the phone I will help them with whatever they need.)

Me: *on the phone with the customer* “I hope I helped you with everything you needed. Thank you for calling, and please have a nice day.”

Customer: *tapping her fingernails on the counter* “FINA-F***ING-LY! I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes waiting for someone to help me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am terribly sorry, but I am the only one at customer service today, because my coworker called in sick, but I am here to help you with whatever you need. Do you want to do a return today?”

Customer: *pulls a box for a cordless phone out of a bag* “This phone won’t work anymore; I would like a refund.”

Me: “Okay, I would be happy to help. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: *huffing and puffing* “Why would I need my receipt? I bought it here and I would like a refund.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our store policy is that without a receipt we cannot accept refunds on open-boxed products. Luckily, the receipt would still be in our system. Do you have the original method of payment with you?”

Customer: “I do.” *hands me her debit card*

Me: “Okay, great! I just need to know when you purchased the product.”

Customer: “Shouldn’t you already know that?! You have my debit card.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but we have to search for it by the date as well. We have regular customers that purchase so many things each month. It helps us find the exact date the product was purchased so we can reprint the receipt for you.”

Customer: “The product was purchased April of 2012.”

Me: *hands the customer her card* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this. It is out of policy.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I shop here all the time!”

Me: “Our return policy is 30 days. Some items are only eligible for 14 day return policy, with a 14 day grace period. I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t return this.”

Customer: “This is f****ng ridiculous! I’m going to [Competitor]. They do a return no matter what!”

Me: “Ma’am, I was customer service for [Competitor]; they are going to tell you the same thing, and because you never bought it there, they won’t return it.”

(The customer stormed out of the store. She pushed one of our GMs out of the way while she left. I made a phone call to the competitor store telling them she was on the way and they phoned all the other stores around the area. She never got her refund. She went on to our website and complained about me ruining the return for her.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 21

Refunder Blunder, Part 20
Refunder Blunder, Part 19

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Dead Bird-Brained

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work at an all species vet clinic. The receptionist pages back, in a worried tone, for a tech to come up to discuss issues with bird food with a client.)

Me: “I understand you have some questions about bird food?”

Client: “Yes! I keep this bag of chicken scratch in my barn and there’s a dead bird in it!”

Me: “Oh, my. That certainly isn’t right! I see the bag has a label from—”

Client: “Who put it there?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Client: “Who put it there? Who’s trying to poison my chickens?”

Me: “I’m sure no one’s trying to poison your chickens, sir. It’s possible a bird flew in—”

Client: “You sell tainted food to get chickens sick. That’s how you make money!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you we would not risk an animal’s health to make money. I see the bag is from [Farming Supply Company]; we do not even sell that food. It may be a quality control issue on their end, so I would definitely contact the company to report it. Their number is right here on the bag. I would not use this bag to feed your chickens.”

Client: “So, you didn’t put the sea bird there?”

Me: “No.”

Client: “Okay, have a nice day.”