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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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A (Mason) Jarring Request

| Warwick, RI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I accidentally pick up a call from a customer who had asked to speak to “the manager.” Although I’m not the store manager, I am A manager, so I decide to try to power through what is clearly going to be a ridiculous call.)

Me: “So sorry for the wait. This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I asked to speak to the manager because the regular people who work in the stores don’t actually know anything.”

Me: “Okay… how can I help you?”

Customer: “First of all, I would like to make a complaint about your hold music. You shouldn’t have it. It gets in your head. So I think it’s incredibly rude, and you should get rid of it immediately.”

Me: “All right, sir, I do apologize about that. I will certainly let my superiors know about your concerns.”

Customer: “Good. Next, I’m looking for two things. One, I need small mason jars, preferably in a two-pack. Second, I need a replacement antenna for my TV. I wanted a manager, because I don’t think the regular workers know the full stock of the store and will just tell me you don’t have them without looking.”

(We are not an electronics store, per se, but we do have a large website with an enormous assortment from which we place orders for customers all the time. As he’s talking, I am quickly doing an online search for a replacement antenna. Turns out, we do carry a wireless antenna that none of our stores stock, but which we can order for the customer and have sent directly to him.)

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like we do carry a wireless antenna through our website that our stores don’t have in stock, but which I could order for you and have sent straight to your house.”

Customer: “I don’t like ordering things without seeing them first! This is the fifth antenna I’ve had to buy now, and they all break! I just want to watch local channels, the local news, international news, and basic things. I don’t know what is so hard about this! This is the fifth one!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir. Like I said, we carry one. We just have to order it. I’d probably recommend some kind of electronics store—”

Customer: “I already tried them!”

Me: “Ohhhhkayyyyy, well, I’m sorry I can’t help you with the antenna, then. As far as the mason jars go, I definitely have some small jars in stock, although they come as a set of four, not two.”

Customer: “But I only need two. I want it to come as a set of two.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that, sir, but all of our mason jars come as a set of four or more. I do apologize that I couldn’t help you with either of those things today.”

(The customer continues to rant at me for a few more minutes, saying the exact same unhelpful things, before finally letting me go. I immediately went and found my store manager, and relayed the customer’s “concerns,’ including that we should do away with our hold music.)

Me: “You owe me.”

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Out Of Favor With The Law

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in a pawn shop where people can put items as collateral against loans, and when they do they can pay them off whenever they want but they can’t get their stuff back until a legally required seven day hold has finished, even if they’ve loaned the exact same item multiple times.)

Customer: “Hey, can you do me favour?”

Me: “Maybe?”

Customer: “My loan’s been in for six days. Can I get it out? I know it’s early but I’ve had it in before.”

Me: “It’s the law, man; we have to hold it for seven days every time.”

Customer: “I’m not talking about the law, man. I just need a favour.”

Me: “Your favour… requires me to break the law.”

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Not Very Closed Minded, Part 17

| Germany | Crazy Requests, Time

(Five minutes after our closing time a customer storms in.)

Customer: “Are you still open? I need some bread, please.”

Coworker: “No, sorry, we’re closed. The registers are out and all. I cannot check you out.”

Customer: “But I’ll be really fast! Just quick, [Bread], please!”

Coworker: “Sorry, we’re closed. The registers are already shut down. In fact I’m already emptying the display right now.”

Customer: “But I’ll be really fast!”

Coworker: “We’re still closed. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t check you out.”

Customer: “Hmm, can’t you just give it to me then?”

(We started locking the door after that.)

Related:

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 16
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 15
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 14

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Laptop Flop, Part 11

| AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’m a young woman working with all men at a well known retail store that also provides tech support. We are always extremely busy due to understaffing, and I am usually the only person helping customers checking in and out their computers. This client is a man in his 60s.)

Me: “Here’s your computer, sir. I’ll turn both of them on for you to look at. It looks like this one had a few viruses.” *points to laptop which is about six years old* “But this other one, due to its age, is running as fast as it can.” *points to laptop that is about fifteen years old* “The tech that worked on it said there’s nothing else we can really do for it, so he suggested to replace the unit.”

Client: “This is ridiculous. It was running just fine before!”

Me: “Well, the computer getting older and the speed is limited by its age. I’m sorry, but I can’t speed it up any more than it already is.”

Client: “Do you have a car?”

Me: “Yes, I own my own car.”

Client: “I’m sure that if there was something wrong with it, you’d just throw the whole thing away, now wouldn’t you?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Client: “That’s what’s wrong with your generation! One thing is wrong, you throw it all away!”

Me: “No, sir, I wouldn’t throw my car away because one thing is wrong. I would replace the broken part to make it work again. Since it says here in our notes that we attempted to call you multiple times about your computer and that you declined any more work done to it aside from diagnostics and virus removal, there’s nothing more we can do to your computer without replacing parts or scrapping it.”

Client: *grabs laptops* “I’m not replacing them! They’re in mint condition!”

Me: *wipes dusty hands on pants* “Have a nice day!”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 10
Laptop Flop, Part 9
Laptop Flop, Part 8

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A False Cart

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work in a superstore in a mall with three floors. The first and second floor have the only entrances/exits and the only registers, so that’s where we keep the cart returns, but the escalators have a mechanism to bring carts up and down between floors. The third floor is all merchandise. I’ve brought a cart upstairs for my own use, to hold cleaning supplies, defective merchandise, etc. I already have some equipment and my own jacket in it. A customer approaches me with a full handbasket.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where can I get a shopping cart?”

Me: “That would be downstairs, on the first or second floor.”

Customer: “There’s none up here?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. Since the only entrances and exits are on floors one or two, that’s where we keep the carts.”

(He seems less than satisfied, but by this point I’ve gotten to the employees-only supply room, and bring my cart inside to fill it. A coworker comes in a moment later with his own cart.)

Coworker: “There’s a customer out there asking for a cart. Like, he wanted me to give him mine.”

(I laugh, but brace myself. Sure enough, when I exit the customer is loitering by our employees-only door. At this point he would have spent less time going downstairs and getting his own cart.)

Customer: “Hey, I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: *brightly* “Sure! He’ll be down on the second floor, at the service desk. Just right of the cart return.”

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