Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Only Six-And-A-Half Inches From Crazytown

| AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a popular store, and it’s during the Christmas rush. I see an older gentleman looking around in the pants section.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you? Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “Actually. I’m looking for a pair of jeans.”

Me: “Well you have come to the right place! We have lots of jeans in a wide range of colors. And if we don’t have what you need, we can order it!”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really care about the color. But I need them to have a good zipper.”

Me: “Okay, well our zippers are made to top quality standards. We have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, so if it does break, you can bring it back.”

Customer: “Well, I need the zipper to be exactly 6 1/2  inches long. Any longer or shorter, they just won’t do.

(Seeing as this is kind of unusual, and our jeans don’t come with the zipper length mentioned on either the tag or anywhere else, I am unsure what to say.)

Me: “…Um, okay. Well, I can go and grab a measuring tape if you would like.”

Customer: “Would you? Because I have looked everywhere and no one seems to carry them.”

(A minute later I return with the measuring tape and we start measuring zipper lengths. But all of them are either too short or too long for his liking.)

Customer: “Well, at least we can order them in.”

Me: “We can order the same jeans we have here, but the zipper lengths won’t change.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you people just leave a note saying that it’s very important that I have a 6 1/2 inch zipper?”

Me: “I could, but seeing as it’s the busiest season of the year, they may not be able to check all the zippers to find you one that suits your needs. And seeing as we don’t have a 6 1/2 inch zipper here, I doubt they will either.”

Customer: “So basically you lied to me?”

Me: “I’m sorry we didn’t have what you were looking for, but you are looking for something very exact.”

Customer: “So you are saying this is my fault that you b****** don’t have what I am looking for?!”

Me: “Once again I’m—”

Customer: “No! Save it for all the other people you aren’t going to help. You can expect to hear from me in the future!”

(He yells as he storms out of the store. We never did hear from that customer. Maybe he just learned to zip his mouth.)

We Have No Store, For The Record

| NYC, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

(I’m sure most of you have heard about Hurricane Sandy and the devastation it wreaked upon New York. Our store faced severe damage and was nearly completely destroyed. A couple of days after Sandy left the city I went back in to assess the damage and begin business continuity operations. I was searching through the rubble to find anything salvageable when amazingly, the phone began to ring.)

Me: “Um, hello.”

Customer: “Hi, is this [Music Store]?”

Me: “Yes, yes it is.”

Customer: “Why haven’t you guys sent me the record I ordered yet? It was supposed to be here three days ago. I’ve been ringing and ringing.”

Me: *confused* “Umm…”

Customer: *angry* “DON’T GIVE ME THAT ATTITUDE! I DEMAND THAT YOU BRING ME THE RECORD IN PERSON! TODAY!”

Me: “Sir, you are aware that the city has just been hit with one of the worst hurricanes in recorded history?”

Customer: “THAT’S YOUR PROBLEM, NOT MINE. I DEMAND MY RECORD AND I’LL BE COMPLAINING TO YOUR SUPERVISOR FOR YOUR TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE.”

Me: “I’d be glad to give you your record once we have our business running again. Unfortunately we are presently unable to trade. I will contact you as soon as we are available for business once more.”

Customer: “I’M GETTING MY RECORD TODAY EVEN IF I HAVE TO COME AND SMASH DOWN YOUR DOOR AND TAKE IT FROM YOU!”

Me: “Go right ahead. We have no door. We’ve got about half a wall too. You’re welcome to come and search the rubble with me.” *click*

It’s Not The Book That’s Bad For Society

| NE, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(As I’m processing a return, the customer leans forward and begins talking quietly to me.)

Customer: “So, are there books that your store won’t sell?”

Me: *confused* “Well, if the book is rare or very old we sometimes can’t stock them.”

Customer: “No, like, are there books you won’t sell because the government thinks they’re bad for society?”

Me: “Um, I don’t think so…”

Customer: “Do you have a list of the books that you won’t sell? Because the government doesn’t want you to?”

Me: “…No.”

A Slight Scratch In His Story

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I work in a large home improvement store. I am taking a call from a customer in our appliance section.)

Customer: “My toilet is scratched!”

Me: “I am sorry, sir. Did we install it for you?”

Customer: “No, a plumber did. But it was not scratched when he put it in!”

Me: “What do you mean it was not scratched when he put it in?”

Customer: “I cleaned it and then all these scratches showed up!”

Me: “Uhm, what did you clean it with?”

Customer: “Bleach!”

Me: “Well, a lot of brands say not to soak in bleach because it takes off the glaze that helps the bowl stay clean. How long did it soak for?”

Customer: “Overnight!”

Me: “Well, sir, bleach is highly corrosive, and-”

Customer: “I expect a full refund!”

Me: “Sir, if the damage is caused by the customer, we cannot refund.”

Customer: “Yes, you can! It was not scratched when I bought it!”

Me: “That’s the point.”

This Won’t ‘Be Good’

| KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(Back in the eighties, a woman comes into our store:)

Customer: “I want the new E.T. movie – E.T. Part 2.”

Me: “There is no part two; it was a stand-alone movie.”

Customer: “No! I’ve seen it advertised on television! It’s called, ‘E.T. Comes Home.’

(I realize that the she had seen an ad for the release of the movie on videocassette – the tagline was “E.T. comes home, to videocassette.” I tried to explain this to her, and she started crying, stomping her feet, and yelling.)

Customer: “I know you have Part Two! You won’t let me have it because you only want certain people to see the movie!”

(The owner came over and the woman repeated her story. The owner then said she would check the catalog and give the customer a call. The customer insisted that I be fired for “being greedy” with the movies. Never saw her again after that.)