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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Give Them 17 Inches, They’ll Take A Mile

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(A lady comes in wearing a freshly pressed business suit, glances at the laptop computer displays, sighs loudly, and marches up to me.)

Customer: “Where are your 17-inch laptops?”

Me: “I’m sold out at the moment.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “I usually carry them. A few different models, in fact. But I’m sold out right now.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

Me: “Seriously. I usually have them, just not right now. We’re in the middle of replacing some older models with newer ones. We sold out of the old ones early last week. We had four of the new models come in late last week, but those sold out as well. We’re expecting more tomorrow.”

Customer: “Ha! You think you can fool me? Don’t play games. WHERE are your 17-inch laptops?!”

Me: “On a truck. It’s probably just leaving the warehouse in California where our shipments come from.”

Customer: “Listen, you. I don’t know what kind of trick you’re trying to pull. All I want to know is WHERE your 17-inch laptops are, and you’re giving me the run-around. Either you have them, or you don’t. Don’t give me these lines about ‘just not right now.’ Now tell me truthfully: Where! Are! They?”

Me: *deadpan* “On a truck. In California. They’ll be here tomorrow.”

Customer: *huffs* “Oh! I don’t believe this. I’m leaving. If I come back next week and you don’t have those 17-inch laptops, I’ll have your job!”

(She stomped away, which looked very uncomfortable in high heels.)

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Their Services Days Are Numbered, Part 2

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a well known auto insurance company helping customers update their policies over the phone. We get a lot of customers that let their policy cancel and call in to restart it, usually at a higher price.)

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know why my policy cancelled and you didn’t notify me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, let me take a look. It looks like we mailed out a notice on [date] that it would cancel on [future date].”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get it. You didn’t notify me.”

Me: “We did our best to notify you, sir.”

Customer: “Did you try to call me?”

Me: “We have [phone number]. Is that right?”

Customer: “No!” *getting noticeably angrier* “I have a new number, it is—”

Me: “Just to make sure everything else is up to date; we also have your address as [address].”

Customer: “No! You don’t have my new address? How come you don’t have my new address?!”

Me: “I apologize, sir; it is up to you to notify us of any change. Otherwise we don’t know.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t feel like I should be penalized since you guys didn’t have my correct address.”

(After multiple attempts to logically explain that we do not have any way of knowing you moved unless you tell us or update it online — we have one of the top rated user friendly insurance sites, which, by the way, you can also make payment on — I gave up and let him continue to rant for several more minutes as I restarted his policy.)

Related:
Their Services Days Are Numbered

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Can’t Ever Get The Delivery Right

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(A customer calls in about a change in her order delivery date. The call comes in on a Tuesday.)

Customer: “When I placed my order it told me my order would be delivered on Friday but I just got an email saying it would now be delivered on Wednesday.”

Me: *confused at the problem* “Ma’am, I’m sorry about the confusion but sometimes our shipping carriers are able to deliver packages sooner than expected and we notify you to let you know.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You guys lied to me and this is very unethical.”

Me: “Ma’am, again I apologize about the change in delivery on this order. Is there a reason that you wanted the delivery on Friday versus receiving it earlier?”

Customer: “You’re missing the f****** point here, you idiot. You told me Friday and now you’re telling me Wednesday. What the hell kind of company are you running here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am missing the point here and I apologize. Your original email stated the Friday was an estimated delivery date. That was not a guaranteed delivery day and we were actually able to get the order to you two days earlier than previously thought.”

Customer: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Clearly you are an uneducated high school dropout who doesn’t know your ass from a hole in the ground.”

Me: “Well, I can certainly call the carrier and place a temp hold on this delivery but you would then have to pick it up from their FC on Friday since you don’t want it early.”

Customer: “You idiot, I do want it early. You are missing my point. You guys lied to me and are an unethical company.”

(I am waiting on the whole “give me” part of her speech to come in at any point and BAM there it is.)

Customer: “I demand a full refund for my order for this.”

Me: “Well, you are certainly entitled to a refund within 30 days of delivery. You can refuse the delivery on Wednesday and once we receive the order back you will be automatically refunded, or once you receive your order you can create a return online or by calling us back. But you would have to pay a return shipping fee.”

Customer: “Why would I refuse it or send it back? I want my order but you’re going to refund me for all my troubles.”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t able to refund you for an order that you don’t return.”

Customer: “Well, then, I guess I’m just going to call and dispute the charge with my bank.”

Me: “Ma’am, you certainly have that right but at this point I have already forwarded this call information to our internal investigations team and we will provide your bank with the full recording of this call once we receive the charge back inquiry from them.”

(She then hung up. She then called back in 29 more times that day to try and get me fired. We then redirected the order back to us, issued a refund, and blocked her account, address, CC #, phone #, and IP address from being able to order from our system in the future and she is now banned from our site.)

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Restate The Rebate

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

Customer: “Excuse me? What does this mean when it says ’4.99 after easy rebate’?”

Me: “It means that you pay the full price of $7.99 at the register, and then you go online and fill out a rebate, and you’ll receive a check for $3.”

Customer: “So, I have to mail something in?”

Me: “Nope! [Store] made it so you can do everything online without having to mail anything in. The website tells you exactly where to find the information you need on your receipt and it only takes about five minutes to fill out.”

Customer: “Well, what if I don’t do online?”

Me: “Then you can still mail it in. That is always an option.”

Customer: “You just said I don’t have to mail it!”

Me: “Correct. You don’t have to mail it because there is an option of doing it online. But if you don’t want to do it that way, then you can mail it.”

Customer: “This is false advertising! The sign says 4.99 but I have to pay 7.99. AND I have to mail it in even though you said I don’t!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s not false advertising. It says very clearly on the sign that this price is after a rebate. And you don’t have to mail it in unless you are unable to do it online.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t like rebates. If [Store] wants to have a sale, they should just give me the money off right away!”

(After explaining why that’s not how it works and if she wants the sale price she needs to do the rebate, she finally picks up the paper and goes to the register, where the cashier gives her a total of $8.49…)

Customer: *screaming, and pointing at me* “BUT THAT GIRL JUST TOLD ME IT’S $4.99!”

Me: “Ma’am, I explained to you that you need to pay $7.99 today and then do the $3 rebate.”

Customer: “But she is trying to charge me $8.49! THIS IS FALSE ADVERTISING!”

Me: “There is sales tax which is bringing it to $8.49.”

Customer: “It doesn’t say anything about sales tax on the sign. FALSE ADVERTISING!”

Me: “Ma’am, you are in Massachusetts. There is sales tax on everything but food and clothing, and it is never included in the price on the sign. It is ALWAYS added at the register.”

Customer: “But it isn’t on the sign! And there isn’t always sales tax. Sometimes it’s tax free weekend. And I could just go to New Hampshire and not pay tax!”

Me: “Correct. There is one weekend a year where there is no sales tax in MA, but it’s not this weekend. And you could go to NH, but I think you would spend more money in gas to get there then you would save by not paying tax today.”

Customer: “Well, maybe I’ll wait until tax free weekend to get this then!”

Me: “You could do that, but it probably won’t be on sale by then.”

Customer: “It’s NOT on sale! It’s a rebate!”

Me: “The rebate is a limited time offer. We probably won’t be offering it on tax free weekend.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll just get it today and pay the tax! But I still think this is false advertising! Between the rebate and the tax I am paying much more than what the sign says! I should report you!”

Me: “If you feel like you need to report us for false advertising, feel free to do that. I am sure they will explain exactly what I did and tell you that this is not false advertising. Have a nice day!”

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Not Understanding The Value Of The Dollar

| San Diego, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work at a local dollar store where everything is a dollar or less. A customer, around 18, comes up to the register with a couple items and a VISA gift card that can have $1-$100 put on it. She tells me she would like $50 on it so I ring her up.)

Me: “Your total will be $59.”

Customer: “No, that’s not right I only have eight items and this is the dollar store.”

Me: “Yes, but you put $50 on this gift card.”

Customer: “But this is the dollar store; I should be able to put how ever much I want on that and only pay a dollar.”

Me: “I don’t think it works like that…”

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