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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Presidential Supervision Required

| Miami, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

(My supervisor is assisting me with an irate customer and now the customer wants to speak to my supervisor’s supervisor.)

Customer: “Who’s your supervisor?”

Supervisor: “Sir, I AM the supervisor. I don’t have a supervisor.”

Customer: “Who’s the president of the company?”

Me: “[President].”

Customer: *to my supervisor* “THAT’s your supervisor. Everyone has a supervisor.”

Me: *genuinely curious* “But then who’s [President]’s supervisor?”

Customer: *to me* “You’re a horse’s a**.”

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The Cake Shop Is A Lie

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(It’s a week before our store closes. A few days ago, my manager told me not to take any more cake orders because we no longer have the supplies to properly decorate a cake. While cleaning up, the phone rings and I answer it.)

Me: “Bakery department. How may I help you?

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to put in a cake order for next Wednesday, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t take anymore cake orders due to the store closing soon.”

Customer: “Oh… but can you have it done by next Wednesday?”

Me: “Ma’am, I just said we can’t take anymore cake orders.”

Customer: “But I need a cake for next Wednesday. Can’t you do that?”

Me: “No, because we don’t have the supplies necessary to fill an order.”

Customer: *getting agitated* “Listen, here! I need a cake by next Wednesday and you should have it ready or I’ll—”

Me: “It won’t be ready by then because the store is going to be closed by that time.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Me: *face-palm*

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Goes Against My Code

| RI, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(I write code for very high end automation systems. This is a drawn out process that has me sitting on my laptop in a customer’s space for long periods of time.)

Customer: “So, did you go to school for this?”

Me: “Yes, I did, but it is very specialized training.”

Customer: “Oh, so, you must be very good with computers.”

Me: “I am, yes.”

(It’s at this point I know what is coming and it has happened on a few occasions.)

Customer: “My computer there is running very slow. I have fast Internet; do you know why it could be slow?”

Me: *looking at older laptop* “I’m not sure. It could be a virus, some malware, there are a bunch of things it could be.”

Customer: “Oh. Could you fix it?”

Me: “I could, yes, but it’s not within the scope of the job. I’m here to do this.”

Customer: *now frustrated* “Well, I figured while you were just sitting there you could push a button and fix my computer…”

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Give Them 17 Inches, They’ll Take A Mile

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(A lady comes in wearing a freshly pressed business suit, glances at the laptop computer displays, sighs loudly, and marches up to me.)

Customer: “Where are your 17-inch laptops?”

Me: “I’m sold out at the moment.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “I usually carry them. A few different models, in fact. But I’m sold out right now.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

Me: “Seriously. I usually have them, just not right now. We’re in the middle of replacing some older models with newer ones. We sold out of the old ones early last week. We had four of the new models come in late last week, but those sold out as well. We’re expecting more tomorrow.”

Customer: “Ha! You think you can fool me? Don’t play games. WHERE are your 17-inch laptops?!”

Me: “On a truck. It’s probably just leaving the warehouse in California where our shipments come from.”

Customer: “Listen, you. I don’t know what kind of trick you’re trying to pull. All I want to know is WHERE your 17-inch laptops are, and you’re giving me the run-around. Either you have them, or you don’t. Don’t give me these lines about ‘just not right now.’ Now tell me truthfully: Where! Are! They?”

Me: *deadpan* “On a truck. In California. They’ll be here tomorrow.”

Customer: *huffs* “Oh! I don’t believe this. I’m leaving. If I come back next week and you don’t have those 17-inch laptops, I’ll have your job!”

(She stomped away, which looked very uncomfortable in high heels.)

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Their Services Days Are Numbered, Part 2

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a well known auto insurance company helping customers update their policies over the phone. We get a lot of customers that let their policy cancel and call in to restart it, usually at a higher price.)

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know why my policy cancelled and you didn’t notify me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, let me take a look. It looks like we mailed out a notice on [date] that it would cancel on [future date].”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get it. You didn’t notify me.”

Me: “We did our best to notify you, sir.”

Customer: “Did you try to call me?”

Me: “We have [phone number]. Is that right?”

Customer: “No!” *getting noticeably angrier* “I have a new number, it is—”

Me: “Just to make sure everything else is up to date; we also have your address as [address].”

Customer: “No! You don’t have my new address? How come you don’t have my new address?!”

Me: “I apologize, sir; it is up to you to notify us of any change. Otherwise we don’t know.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t feel like I should be penalized since you guys didn’t have my correct address.”

(After multiple attempts to logically explain that we do not have any way of knowing you moved unless you tell us or update it online — we have one of the top rated user friendly insurance sites, which, by the way, you can also make payment on — I gave up and let him continue to rant for several more minutes as I restarted his policy.)

Related:
Their Services Days Are Numbered

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