Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Littered With Demands

| Orlando, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Transportation

(I’m moving out of the country, and so am selling/giving away 95% of my stuff. I have a very expensive automatic kitty litter box that retails at $400 that I’ve posted on Craigslist for free, as I don’t feel like dealing with cleaning it and selling it in the next 48 hours before my plane leaves. The post stipulates that the interested party must pick it up. This is a phone conversation.)

Woman Caller: “Hello, I’m calling about the kitty litter machine. Can you deliver it to my house?”

Me: “No, you must come pick it up. I live in [Town]. It retails for $400 new. I’m just too rushed to sell it before my plane leaves.”

Woman Caller: “But that’s 2 hours from me… Can’t you deliver it to my house?”

Me: “No. I would charge a $300 delivery charge.”

Woman Caller: “That’s too much! Why is it so much?”

Me: “Because I don’t want my car to smell like a litter box and I don’t have time to do it before my plane leaves. You can come pick it up for free, though.”

Woman Caller: “I don’t want my car to smell, either! What can we do to work it out?”

Me: “I’ll just give it to someone who will want to come to my house. Bye.”

(30 minutes later, another interested party picked it up.)


Keeps Going Salon And On

Hastings, MN, USA | Crazy Requests

(I am working at the service desk. One of my duties there is to answer the phone. Usually I just have to park the call and page the department the customer wants. Occasionally they have a question for service desk. I get a call from a guy that sounds maybe in his 40s.)

Me: “[Store], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m going to be in Thursday, but I was wondering – do you know if there’s a salon nearby you?”

Me: “Uh… one moment, sir.”

(I put the phone down and get my CSM. We quietly discuss for a second about the nearest hair cutter places, both of us exchanging a glance at the odd question.)

Me: “Okay, sir, there is a [Hair Salon #1] and a [Hair Salon #2] located near us.”

Customer: “Is that all you know of?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me you don’t know of any salons next to your store?”

Me: “Uh… no, sir?”

Customer: *exasperated and annoyed noise* “Well, you just lost a customer!” *hangs up*

Me: Uh?

Coworker: “Did he REALLY call to ask about a salon?”

Me: “Yeah? And apparently we just lost a customer?!”

Coworker: “We’re a grocery store!”

Me: “That’s what I wanted to say!”


Not Their Finest Hour(s)

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(At rush hour on a Saturday night, a party of 16 people comes in. I am a hostess.)

Me: “It’s going to be about one-and-a-half hour wait for you guys.”

Customer: “Okay, we will stay.” *walks away*

Me: *writes down info including the time they came in*

(Twenty minutes later.)

Customer: *storms up to the host stand* “Where the h*** is our table?! We have been waiting for TWO HOURS!”

Me: “Sir, it’s still going to be a little bit. You came in at 7:20, it is now 7:40 and I quoted you at an hour-and-a-half, so it’s probably still going to be another hour.”

Customer: “This is BS. Are you stupid or something? We have been waiting two hours!”

Me: “If you want, I can get my manager for you so she can help you out.”

(My manager comes out, and says the same exact thing to them that I do. The customers proceed to go and tell all the people waiting that we are understaffed, that if I wasn’t a girl he would punch me in the face, and that we probably have bugs in the kitchen. Twenty minutes after that.)

Customer: “Can you people seriously not tell time? We have been waiting for hours!”

Me: “I promise I am trying to get tables for you as fast as I can, but it’s only 8:15 now so you still probably have another 45 minutes. It is Saturday night and there are other parties here. We do call ahead seating if you choose to come in with a large party again and want to speed up your wait time.”

Customer: “There is no way I am ever eating at this place again! I will report your horrible attitude to your manager!” *storms off*

(After all that, they still ate at the restaurant and ended up stiffing the server on an over $250 meal.)


A-Salted With Your Fishy Tale

| NJ, USA | NJ, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Popular

Me: “Hello, this is [Pool Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *on the phone* “Hi, I just bought a house with a pool and had some questions.”

Me: “Certainly. First I need to know if it’s a salt or freshwater pool.”

Customer: “I don’t know; how could I find that out?”

Me: “I need to you check to see if you have a salt generator or not.”

Customer: “All right, I think it’s a salt pool. How would I start it up?”

Me: “Do you know the gallonage of your pool?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [average size pool].”

Me: “All right. Well, looking at my chart, you’re going to need 625lbs of salt to reach the required concentration if the concentration is currently 0ppm.”

Customer: “That’s a lot of salt.”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir.”

Customer: “How would I add the salt?”

Me: “Just toss it into the pool; there’s no special way of adding it.”

Customer: “That’s not how you do it.”

Me: “Yes, it is, sir. There may be other systems out there but if it’s our pool then you don’t have a special salt system attached.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s how you add it?”

Me: “Yes. You want to raise your salt level to between 3000ppm and 3500ppm and to go to that from scratch, for your size pool, you need to add 625lbs of salt.”

Customer: “All right. Is it going to taste like salt?”

Me: “That’s a common misconception with salt pools. If the salt is within that range you won’t taste salt; if it’s 6000pm or higher you may.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me I need to add 1250lbs of salt?”

Me: “Not unless you want to taste salt.”

Customer: “What if I want to?”

Me: “Why would you want to taste salt?”

Customer: “Because I want it to be like the ocean.”

Me: “Ok…”

Customer: “How much salt would I have to add to my pool to be able to put fish in and swim.”

Me: “Are you telling me you want to make an open air salt water aquarium out of your pool?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Then I suggest you talk to a pet store. We can sell the salt but I have no experience in maintaining marine life.”


This Story Has Yet To Be Title

, | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hall of Fame, Movies & TV, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I am the night shift manager at a fast food restaurant. The corporate office had just started a new advertising campaign, and while not openly sexual, it is filled with innuendo. I get a phone call about 10 minutes before closing.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I AM REALLY PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW! My children were watching TV this afternoon when your commercial came on. I cannot believe you would expose my kids to sex like that. I want you to take the commercial down, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Sir, this is a local store, so it has no control over the TV ads. The corporate office in Southern California produces and purchase all the advertising time for all of [Restaurant]. I would be happy pass of your name and number; that way they can put you in touch with the appropriate person.”

Caller: “THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I want this ad taken off TV right now. You need to get on the phone and call the TV station and tell them to pull this filth off the TV, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir, but I’m just a shift manager at a local store. We are a franchise location with no direct link to the corporate office in Southern California. I simply do not have the authority to make anyone pull these ads, nor does anyone else at this location. The franchise office might be able to help you. Their number is [number], and they open at eight am. You can tell them how you feel in the morning.”

Caller: “HOW CAN YOU ALLOW MY CHILDREN TO BE EXPOSED TO THIS SMUT?! If you cared about your customers you wouldn’t hide behind “authority.” You would listen to your customers, do your job, and have this smut pulled from the TV, RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir, but—”


Me: “Sir, I’m a 19 year old college student working at a fast food joint. I agree with you that the new ad campaign is kind of inappropriate, but the TV networks simply aren’t going to allow me to call them up at 11:50 at night and have them pull advertisement paid for by someone else. If you give me your name and number I will ask the franchise office to contact you tomorrow, or you can call them at [number], or you can call the corporate office in Southern California at [a phone number I’m never supposed to give out], or you can even file a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission.”

Caller: “I WANT IT OFF THE AIR NOW! If you cared about my kids or your job, you would do it NOW! IF YOU DON’T DO IT NOW, I WILL GET YOU FIRED!”

Me: “Okay, sir, I will pass on your complaint.”

Caller: *all of a sudden he speaks in an almost hushed tone* “You know you’re going to Hell now, right…?” *click*

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