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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Not The Professional Way To Behave

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Time

(My boss is out of the office this morning at a funeral for a family friend. He is going to be gone until about 1:00 pm; it is currently 11:45.)

Customer: “We had an appointment with [Boss].”

Me: “I’m sorry, he’s out of the office until 1:00 pm. It looks like he had you down for an appointment at 1:30. Did our wires cross somewhere?”

Customer: “No, that is when our appointment is for. We just wanted to do it now. Is he at lunch? Shouldn’t he be back soon?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. He’s at a funeral right now. He won’t be back in the office until 1:00. I suggest you come back at your appointment time.”

Customer: *ragingly mad* “That is RIDICULOUS! People need to keep PERSONAL LIFE separate from their WORK LIFE! This is UNACCEPTABLE!”

Me: “Well, I’ll make sure to let him know that you showed up EARLY for your appointment when he gets back from the FUNERAL. We’ll see you at 1:30 for your SCHEDULED appointment. Have a nice day.”

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Giving You A Big Pizza Crazy

| Valencia, Spain | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A woman in her fifties enters the restaurant from the employees-only door.)

Customer: *shouting* “I want twenty pizzas!”

Me: “Miss, I can’t get your order from here. Please, use the entrance for customers.”

Customer: “I want twenty pizzas!”

Me: “I heard you, but I can’t take your order like this. Please, come to the bar from the other side and I’ll get your order.”

(She goes around the corner to the customer entrance and gets to the bar.)

Customer: “I want twenty pizzas! And I want them now!”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. What size?”

Customer: “The biggest one. And I need them in five minutes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but the oven takes that long only baking one pizza, and I need to make them myself, cut them, and put them in boxes. That’ll probably take at least 50 minutes.”

Customer: “But I want them now!”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s physically impossible. I’ll gladly make them as fast as possible, but not in five minutes.”

Customer: *turns back and starts walking out while mumbling* “Ha! Why would I want that much pizza? Who am I going to feed, the whole city? You’re crazy.”

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Adobe Photo-Flop

, | Birmingham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(A user calls up as they do not know how to use Photoshop, despite being offered training originally.)

User: “This program is stupid. Why do I need all these buttons and functions?”

Me: “The program is a piece of professional software that is very high end, used for magazines and movie posters.”

User: “I just want to resize my dolphin photos!”

Me: “Well, first, you will need to open the photo concerned, then go to—“

User: “I haven’t got time for that! I just want these dolphin photos resized!”

Me: “You were offered training on this software when it was purchased.”

User: “I don’t have time to sit around doing training! I just want the software to do what I want it to do without clicking all of these buttons!”

Me: “I can talk you through the steps. Do you need to get a pen to write this down?”

User: “No. I am not messing around with this software any more! I have work to do! You ring Adobe and tell them I want this changed NOW.”

Me: “You want me to call Adobe and tell them to change their multi million dollar software because you don’t like it?”

User: “Yes! Let me know when they’ve done it!”

(The user hung up and I was left speechless. The user also chased it up to see if I had contacted them and if they had carried out the changes.)

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Crazy Customer? Fits The Bill

| USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Politics

(I work at a bank in a small lake-side city with lots of retired older folks. While working the drive-thru I have this exchange.)

Me: “Good morning!”

Customer: “I want to exchange this for 500 dollar bills.”

(He places a stack of 20s, 50s, and 100s in the drawer.)

Me: “Sir… I’m sorry we don’t have any 500s I can exchange the smaller bills for one hundred dollar bi—“

Customer: “That’s bull-s***! I BUY 500 DOLLAR BILLS ALL THE TIME! THE BANK ORDERS THEM FOR ME!”

Me: “Sir, we can’t even order those bills; they stopped printing them back in the 1970s.”

(The customer glares at me for a few moments, grabs his money out of the drawer and points at me.)

Customer: “I know what’s going on here. You’re covering for him.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “This is Obama’s doing!”

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A Paper-Thin Reason To Be Angry

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am bartending and the only front-of-house staff member on a slow Friday lunch. A notoriously very picky customer comes in, and her mother joins her later. They both order a Greek salad, without telling me they mean to share it. I drop off the food when it is up in the kitchen, and when I check back on them this happens.)

Customer: “I can’t eat this; there is PAPER in this salad!”

Me: “Oh! Oh, wow, I’m so sorry about that, ma’am. Can I replace that for you?”

Customer: “No, no, just take it away. This is terrible.”

(Then I notice — her mother had scraped half the salad onto the bottom plate. At the restaurant I work at, specialty salads are served in a dish with a flat plate underneath, and we put a cocktail napkin on the flat plate to keep it from shifting. I immediately realize what has happened.)

Me: “Ma’am, I will replace this immediately but I can explain what happened…” *and do*

Mother: “Oooh… well, then, [Customer], we’ll just wait for another. I must’ve just—“

Customer: *in extremely condescending tone* “No, just take it away. I don’t want to discuss this any more.”

(I explain to my boss, the owner, what had happened and she tells me to take the salad off their bill so I do. Later when I drop the bill off…)

Me: “And I’ve taken that salad off your check, ladies. So sorry for the mix up. I hope everything else tasted all right.”

Customer: “UGH! That really wasn’t necessary!”

(I guess some people are never satisfied…)

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