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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 29

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

Customer: “Fix it!”

Me: “Fix what, ma’am?”

Customer: “My Internet connection. Can’t you tell why I’m calling?”

Me: “No, ma’am, the technology doesn’t work that way.”

(I apologize for any inconvenience, and then check her connection. Everything is fine. I even test with ping and packet testing; again, very strong signal to the Internet.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you using a router?”

Customer: “I don’t know. You guys installed it all”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t install routers. Do you know the name of the router you’re using?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “We can test the modem to make sure it’s working. Can you take your laptop into the room with the modem and unplug the modem from the rou—”

(Before I could even finish asking her to connect the laptop to the modem directly.)

Customer: “No. I couldn’t possibly do that! You just need to fix it.”

Me: “Ma’am, are you suffering from an illness or injury preventing me from helping you today?”

Customer: “No, and I couldn’t possibly be bothered with that. The modem and the laptop are on different floors. I called you to fix it. Why can’t you just fix it?”

(Eventually the customer was charged for a technician to come out and educate her on the use of her technology.)

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 28
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 27
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 26

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Got Breast Milk?

| Chesterfield, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work at a daycare, taking care of babies. My one-year-old son is one of the babies in my room. One day, when a parent comes to pick up her own child, she sees me nursing my son.)

Parent: “Oh, do you do that for all the babies?”

(She actually thought I breastfed all of the babies in my room, not just my son.)

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Some Customers Deserve A Frap In The Face

, | Boca Raton, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m an assistant manager at a 24-hour burger place and currently work overnights.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Burger Place]. My name is [My Name]. May I take your order?”

Customer: “Do y’all do fraps?”

Me: “Yes. Mocha and Caramel.”

Customer: “What about something like a White Chocolate frap?”

Me: “Nope. Sorry, but this is [Burger Place], not Starbucks.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Why is this not Starbucks?”

Customer: “If you’re going to advertise fraps, you should do better than f***ing Mocha and Caramel.”

Me: “Um… sorry?”

Customer: “Don’t say sorry. How can we make this right?”

Me: “Um… you can go to Starbucks?”

Customer: “Look a**-hole. Starbucks is closed and I want a White Chocolate frap. Now are you going to make me one or not?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “I’m calling corporate.”

Me: “Be my guest. They’ll just tell you the same thing I did.”

Customer: “F*** you, a**hole.” *speeds through the drive-thru and flips me off as he passes the window*

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Try Number Two-na

| Norfolk, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(We can make sandwiches which must be ordered the day before.)

Customer: “Hi, I ordered a tuna sandwich yesterday, but it isn’t here?”

Me: *looks over to where a sandwich is left* “There’s a tuna sandwich here—”

Customer: “That’s not mine, though.”

Me: “Do you know whose it is?”

Customer: “No. But it’s not mine.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Customer: “Yes. I want another tuna sandwich.”

Me: “Right. Okay.”

(I take the sandwich into the kitchen and came back out with the same sandwich five minutes later.)

Customer: “Ah! Lovely. Thanks very much.”

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Pooling All Their Resources

| Norfolk, England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Customer: *looking through the doors at the pool* “Is that your pool?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Do you have another one?”

Me: “No.”

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