Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Gate Crasher

| Canada | Crazy Requests

(The greenhouse I work at is small and locally owned so the retail section has only a padlocked fence surrounding the area for security. When closing, I lock the gate, close and balance the cash register, and then need to physically remove the register and drive it over to another building. In order to get the register to my car, which is parked outside the fence, I unlock and open the gate. As I do so, a customer comes out from around the corner and darts inside the fenced area.)

Me: *calling out* “Ma’am! Ma’am! We are closed and I need you to leave the premise now and please come back tomorrow if you need to make purchases.”

Customer: “You’re not closed; the gate was unlocked and opened!”

Me: “I simply had to load some heavy equipment, but unfortunately we are closed. Even if I wanted to check you out, I couldn’t because the register has been closed down and locked up for the night.”

Customer: “But the gate was open! Can’t I just look around?”

Me: “You want me to wait while you look around, knowing you cannot actually make any purchases?”

Customer: “Yes! I want to pick out what I want and have you put it aside for me!”

Me: “I’m really sorry, ma’am, but you’ll really need to come back during business hours as I need to get to get to other buildings before they lock up for the night.”

Customer: “How rude! I expected better service from a store that relies on local business!” *storms off*

Me: “…”


Wish You Could Shoe Away This Customer

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Hi, [Customer], I see here you want to place an order for this shoe?”

Customer: “Yes, can we also get the brown pair as well?”

Me: “Of course, give me one moment!”

(I find the other shoe pretty quickly.)

Me: “Okay, you’re new total is $32.93.”

Customer: “No, that other agent said I would get free shipping!”

(I look over the order total. The shipping for an order with more than one item is, as I thought, 8.95. But it looks like the last agent gave her a $10 store credit to cover the shipping.)

Me: “It looks like you are only paying for the cost of the shoes; I see a $10 credit that has been placed on the account to cover the shipping.”

Customer: “No! My total is supposed to be 13 dollars!”

Me: “Ma’am, that would be your total if you had only one pair of shoes.” *breaks down the total for her of the two shoes [16.99 each] and the shipping, and then points out the ten dollar credit*

Customer: “Well, if I place one order with one item, and then I can call you guys back and place the second order, then will it be 13 dollars like he said it would?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can place all the orders you want with me right here, and placing the items on different orders would make it cheaper, but we do ask that you pay for the cost of the shoes.”

Customer: “Okay, let’s do that!”

Me: “Okay.” *takes one pair of shoes out of the cart* “Your total is $13.94. Do I have your permission to charge your card?”

Customer: “Why am I paying for shipping still?!”

Me: *considering disconnecting the call* “Ma’am, you aren’t paying for the shipping. Since there is only one item in the cart, your shipping is only 6.95. We gave you a $10 discount, so the shipping is free and the shoe itself is almost four dollars cheaper.”

Customer: *defeated* “Well, I’m just confused. I wasn’t told anything about any credit!”

Me: *deep breath while customer is on mute* “When we waive the shipping fee for you, we actually put a credit on your account to cover the shipping.”

Customer: *even more confused* “I want to talk somebody else.”

Me: *in a more firm, but still very nice tone* “Ma’am, no matter who you talk to math still works like math. If you have a shoe that costs $16.99 and shipping that costs $6.95, your total WILL be $23.94 normally, but we gave you a $10 discount on your order so your total is $13.94.”

Customer: “Okay, I’m confused but go ahead and place the order.”

Me: “Do I have your permission to charge your card in the amount of $13.94?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *places order then gets the other shoe in the basket* “All right, now you have free shipping. I have the other shoe in your basket; do I have your permission to charge your card in the amount of $16.99?”

Customer: “No! The shoes are supposed to be 13 dollars! What is going on?”

Me: *goes quiet for what feels like forever* “The cost of the shoe is $16.99. Do I have your permission to charge your card in the amount of $16.99.”

Customer: “Well, I guess!”

Me: *places order* “Any other questions I can help you out with?”

Customer: “When should I expect to see them? I have an event I want to wear them at next week.”

Me: *our shipping timeframes are long, but the customer would know the timeframe if she’d read the very obvious description* “They should ship to us in 3-4 weeks because they are imported. Then they will ship out to you in one week.”


Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.” *click*


That Exchange Didn’t Go Down The Toilet

| Abbotsford, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am working at a well known coffee shop in a local mall. Just before closing I am cleaning the bathrooms. One is out of order and I have just soaked the other bathroom with bleach when an older couple and their grandson walk up.)

Grandfather: “He needs to use the bathroom right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but one of our washrooms is out of order at the moment. I’ve just soaked this washroom in bleach but if you give me a couple moments I will have it available for use.”

Grandmother: “NO. He needs to use it right now. It is an emergency.”

Me: “If that is the case there is another set of washrooms just across the food courts that is open.”

Grandmother: “That won’t work. He needs THIS washroom RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry but I just need a moment to wipe the washroom down. It is covered in chemicals that could burn his skin if I let him use it right now.”

Grandfather: “Enough of this. You are lying to us. You just don’t want to let him use the bathroom!”

Me: “I’m sorry but I’m not lying. I am trying to clean this bathroom and in the time we have spent arguing I could have had the bathroom clean and ready for him to use.”

(At this point the couple and their grandson stormed off and I went about cleaning the washroom. A moment later the same couple came up and I saw the little boy peeing in a coffee cup. Once he was done, the grandfather wordlessly but smugly handed the cup to me. I was so taken aback I just stood there in shock holding a large cup full of this boys pee!)


All Salts Of Stupid

| Albany, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am sitting inside at a famous fast-food restaurant. A man in line approaches the cashier. After the employee asks what he would like to order, he asks:)

Customer: “If I asked for no salt on my fries, would you be able to do that for me?”

Cashier: “Yes, sir. Anything that we add here in the store can be taken off.”

Customer: “Oh, great. In that case, I would like to order a bacon cheeseburger, with no salt on the bacon.”

(He is completely serious. The cashier pauses for a moment.)

Cashier: “I’m very sorry, sir, but the bacon already has salt in it. I can’t take it out.”

Customer: *suddenly very aggressive* “You said that you could take anything that I wanted of the order! I want bacon without salt! How hard it that?”

Cashier: “No, sir, I said that anything we add here in the restaurant can be removed. Salt is used in the process of making bacon, so I can’t give you salt-free bacon.”

Customer: “Get me your manager! NOW!”

(At this point, everyone in the restaurant is staring. From where I’m standing, I can see the manager, who has heard everything, get this look on his face like he is already 100% done with this customer, but he composes himself and goes up to the counter.)

Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Your employee told me that you can take off anything from an order! All I want is a bacon cheeseburger with no salt on the bacon, and she refused to give it to me!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can only remove things that we add here in the store. Salt is inherent in bacon. We don’t add it here so, unfortunately, I can’t remove it.”

Customer: “Just get me salt-free bacon! How f*****g hard is that?!”

(The manager closes his eyes for a moment, and I can practically see his internal sigh.)

Manager: *putting in the order* “Yes, sir, I’ll do what I can.”

Customer: “Thank you. God, was that so hard? Now, I would also like a chocolate shake with no chocolate.”

Manager: “You mean a vanilla shake, sir?”

Customer: “No, you idiot! If I wanted a vanilla shake, I would have ordered a f*****g vanilla shake!”

Manager: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Thank you. That will be all.”

Manager: “Yes, sir, your total is [total].”

(The customer waits for his food, muttering about “how f*****g hard is it” to get him salt-free bacon. He picks up his food and sits at the table right behind me. I turn around to him and say:)

Me: “Hey, man. You want some of my fries? They’re potato-free.”

(Everyone in earshot starts snickering. One of the employees goes into the back to stop laughing. He gives me a snide look.)

Customer: “You must think I’m some sort of idiot.”

Me: *stifling my smirk* “No, sir.”

(He finished his food and left. The kicker? They gave him a normal bacon cheeseburger and chocolate shake. He loved it.)


Doesn’t Give A Truck

AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

Caller: “Hey, my tire just blew out, and I need a tow truck.”

Me: “Oh, dear! Let me get you over to roadside assistance. They can help you out.”

Caller: “Why can’t you help me? Aren’t you at [Rental Company]?”

Me: “I’m with the sales department, sir. You need to talk to roadside assistance.”

Caller: “Well, why don’t you sell me something, then? Can’t you rent me a tow truck?”

Me: “No, sir, we don’t rent those out.”

Caller: “But I know you guys have one. I saw it on your lot. Just name your price!”

Me: “Sir, even if I could rent it out to you, how would you get there to pick it up if your truck has a flat?”

Caller: “Oh, I’ll just walk.”

Me: “You’ll what? How far away are you, sir?”

Caller: “Oh, we haven’t even left the parking lot. I can see your office from here.”

Me: “You… uh…”

Caller: “Is this John? Can you tell him to come over here and rent me a tow truck?”

Me: “Sir… why don’t you just walk over to the office and ask?”

Caller: “Well, it’s hot outside, and I didn’t want to leave the truck if I didn’t have to.”

Page 5/330First...34567...Last