Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Returner Burner, Part 2

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I work at a large national retailer. When items are returned damaged they are “claimsed out” and returned to a warehouse for credit. If an item is returned in new condition it is returned to the shelf. I am working the service/returns desk when I get this call:)

Me: “Service desk, how can I help you?”

Customer: “My wife returned a white scooter to y’all a few days back, and I was wondering if y’all would be interested in selling it back to me at a discount?”

Me: “Sir, if it was returned damaged then we sent it to claims and it is no longer in the store. If it was returned in new condition then it is back on the shelf and would be full price.”

Customer: “Oh… so… no discount?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: *sigh*

Related:
Returner Burner

This Item Is High In Metal

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a music/movie store. We often get calls to see if we have something in stock before the customer comes to pick it up, especially if it is an uncommon title.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Can you tell me if you have something?”

Me: “Sure! What is the title of it?”

Customer: “Creamed corn.”

Me: “Are you referring to the band Korn?”

Customer: “No, the food. Why would I want a band?”

Me: “Because this is a music store.”

Customer: “Look, just tell me if you’re out!”

Me: “But we’re always out…”

Customer: “You’re a lousy grocery store!” *hangs up*

Refunder Blunder, Part 18

| USA | Crazy Requests, Money

Customer: “I see these earmuffs in your catalog and I really would like to have them, but I don’t have enough money on my credit card to get them right now because I was buying gifts. Soooo, I want to cancel an order I placed yesterday so that won’t charge on my card, and that will free it up some.”

Me: “I apologize. Your order placed yesterday has already been processed and you will receive it within 6-8 business days. I cannot cancel the order at this time.”

Customer: “Can’t you just take a pair of the earmuffs out of your warehouse and hold them aside for me until I have enough credit on my card?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, we cannot hold merchandise aside in anticipation of someone ordering it.”

Customer: “Well, do this… I am returning $400 worth of stuff to you today. Once I get the tracking number, I’ll call you so you can go ahead and process the return and credit my credit card, so I can order these earmuffs before they sell out.”

Me: *trying to keep it together* “My apologies again, ma’am. We cannot process your return until it actually arrives to our facility…”

Customer: “Can I speak to a supervisor? It’s not you; it’s just that sometimes they can do things you can’t…”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 17
Refunder Blunder, Part 16
Refunder Blunder, Part 15

The New Fragrance From Soylent Green

| Dublin, Ireland | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work in a department store, in the fragrance department. I was showing two guys our newest fragrance for men.)

Customer: “Have you ever seen the movie Perfume?”

Me: “Yyyeesssss…”

Customer: “Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “You mean… perfume made of people?”

Customer: “Well, one of them was made of hair.”

Me: “No. I do not have any perfumes made of human hair.”

Customer: “Hmm. Okay, thanks.”

Nearby Female Customer: *laugh-snorts, then runs away*

(The guy then stood there for a further 30 seconds while I looked at him awkwardly before he wandered away.)

How To Make Me Blue

, | NY, USA | Crazy Requests

(I design and create jewelry for my own business. I often take custom requests.)

Customer: “I like that piece you made, but I’d really like it in blue.”

Me: “Okay, here are the blue beads you can choose from.”

Customer: “Well, I want a blue, but not too blue. Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “These are what I have available. If you would like me to place a special order for a different shade of blue, I’d be happy to.”

(Customer looks over the options and chooses the same darn shade I offered her. I finish the piece and send her photos.)

Customer: “Wow, that’s really… blue.”

Me: “Indeed. Those are the beads you selected.”

Customer: “Hmm. Can you make it in red?”

(Cut to me, crying and drinking in the corner.)