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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Making You Feel All Kinds Of Blue

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I’m a graphic designer but I take on some freelance jobs outside of my regular job. A client contacts me, looking for a brochure design for his upcoming art show at a small gallery. His work is very cool and I decide to take on the job. After receiving multiple e-mails from him freaking out about how “It just doesn’t FEEL like my art. It needs to FEEL better!” I decide to meet with him to go over it in person.)

Me: “So, what aren’t you liking about the current design? We’ve discussed all the changes and up until this point you seemed ok with it.”

Client: *touching the print out* “The FEEL is all wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong!”

Me: “Okay, can you explain a bit more? What about the feel isn’t right?”

Client: “You know! The FEEL!” *start rubbing the piece of paper on his face and flinging it all around in the air*

Me: “Do you mean the paper? This isn’t the final paper stock we’re printing on, just regular printer paper.”

Client: “Oh, okay. Good because this s*** is NASTY!” *throws all the papers on the ground and points at my computer screen* “But also, this colour here is just so WRONG!”

Me: *collecting papers* “All right, we can change that. What colour were you thinking?”

Client: “A bright blue! Oh, wait… maybe a dark and moody blue.”

Me: *makes changes on screen* “Do you like either of these?”

Client: “Are you an idiot!? Neither of those are blue! How can you call yourself a designer if you think THAT’S blue!”

(The client is now kneeling on his chair and flailing his arms in the air while screeching at me.)

Me: “Okay! Why don’t you go through the colours here and see if there’s something you like better!”

(The client calms down and scrolls for a solid 15 minutes through the colours while practically lying across the table.)

Client: “This one! It’s PERFECT!”

Me: “Umm… all right, then.”

(We settled on a lovely Forest “Blue” and concluded the project after printing. The kicker? I went to his show the next week and found that he didn’t use my design but decided to make all new brochures by finger painting them and handing out still wet pieces of paper at the show.)

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Lack Of Stock Options

| Newington, NH, USA | Crazy Requests

(I am a cashier at a well-known craft store, and am currently cashing out a customer when another customer pushes his way in front of her and demands my assistance.)

Customer: “Hey, you! Cashier! Where do you keep the [item I’ve never heard of]!?”

Me: “What is that? Can you describe it?”

Customer: “You use it to cut Styrofoam. It’s got a thin wire that heats up to melt through it so that it doesn’t, y’know, break up into small bits or whatever.”

Me: *having heard a request for an identical item on my radio* “Wait, didn’t you just ask three other people about that, including the store manager and the assistant manager?”

Customer: “Yeah. They said that if you carried it that it would be over in aisle three!”

Me: “So… did you check aisle three?”

Customer: “Yeah!”

Me: “And was it there?”

Customer: “Obviously not, you dumb s***!”

Me: *wanting to get back to cashing out the customer I was helping before* “Sir, you already spoke to three other employees, including the store manager. They all said that if we had that item that it would be in aisle three.”

Customer: “And it wasn’t! Now are you going to help me or am I going to have to take my business elsewhere?!”

Me: “Well since you’re looking for an item that we apparently don’t sell, you’re going to have to take your business elsewhere no matter what I do.”

Customer: “I… Well… S***!” *stomps off angrily*

(I should have been written up for that, but my store manager decided not to because not only was it hilarious but it was also pretty certain that we’d not have gotten his business no matter what I did.)

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Charged Up On Idiocy

| AR, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m at work at a local, small, hotel with an excellent housekeeping staff. It is between 10-11 pm at the end of my shift. A guest who had been staying at the hotel all week calls me on Thanksgiving and is immediately angry.)

Guest: “I need to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry, she is not here at the moment. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Guest: “You can help me by finding the person who stole my phone charger.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that your charger has been misplaced, sir. If by any chance our housekeeping staff picked it up by accident, it would be in our lost and found and also it would be documented. Do you mind being on hold while I check those possibilities?”

Guest: “It hasn’t been misplaced. It was stolen. And I need you to find it.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Just hold on and I will go check every place I know of to check.”

(I come back two minutes later.)

Me: “Thank you for holding, sir. I am sorry to inform you that I looked in all of the possible places it would be and unfortunately was not able to find your charger.”

Guest: “Well, this is unacceptable! One of your housekeepers stole my expensive phone charger and are probably using it right now. No wonder you can’t find it!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you, our housekeeping staff is very trustworthy and would have no motivation to risk their job for a phone charger.”

Guest: “I want this phone call documented and I want your manager to call me first thing in the morning and if I don’t hear from him before I leave for work, we are going to have a problem, missy.”

Me: “My manager is a woman, and she will call you as soon as she gets time.”

Guest: “D*** right HE will! And you better make sure nothing like this ever happens again!”

Me: “Goodnight, sir.”

(That morning we get a call from the same man who is unapologetic and seems to be in a hurry.)

Me: “Front desk. How may I help you?”

Guest: “Yeah, I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I’m sorry, she isn’t available at the moment; may I take a message?”

Guest: “Yes, the woman I spoke to last night was very rude and I’d like to complain about her and I want her fired and my room rate paid for!”

Me: “Sir, what was she rude to you about?”

Guest: “She told me that housekeeping would not have taken my phone charger when I know for a FACT that they did!”

Me: “Well, no phone charger has been documented. Are you sure—”

Guest: *interrupts me* “FOUND IT! I still want her FIRED!”

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Making A Dramatic Leap

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(Right before closing, a patron comes up to the self-check machines with a very large pile of children’s books. After we’ve closed, he’s still using the machine and is having some difficulties with it.)

Coworker: “I can help you over here, sir.”

Patron: “No, I’ll do this myself.”

Coworker: “Well, those are programmed to turn off automatically after closing and they are about to turn off, so I can continue to check out to you over here.”

(The patron continues to use the self-check anyway, at which point he gets a message saying the computer is shutting down.)

Patron: “Why is this shutting down?! I’m using it!”

Coworker: “Those machines automatically turn themselves off after closing. I can check out to you over here.”

Patron: “So you’re saying you don’t want my children to read?!”

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Rude-barb

| Canada | Crazy Requests

(It is just around opening at my job, when one of our regulars, who isn’t quite all there mentally, walks in. Because the store has just opened, it’s pretty quiet, and my coworkers and I are sitting around the tills, chatting. The regular customer spends a few minutes walking around, when finally she makes her way over to us.)

Customer: *to me* “You’re not busy! Go and get me some rhubarb!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we’re all out of rhubarb right now.”

Customer: “No! I mean go get in your car, drive around the city, and don’t come back until you’ve found some for me!”

(She wasn’t kidding.)

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