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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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One Big (Alco)Hole In Their Plan

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I live near the Canada-US border, Canada side. It’s about nine o’clock at night and I’m working the front end of grocery store. A small group of people who look to be in their late teens or early twenties walk up to me.)

Customer #1: “Can you tell us where to find the alcohol in here?”

Me: *taken aback* “We don’t sell any.”

Customer #1: “Really?”

(At this moment it dawns on me that they’re probably from over the border, coming to buy alcohol here because we have a lower drinking age.)

Me: “Yeah. We… don’t sell alcohol in grocery stores in Canada. In general.”

Customer #2: “You’re kidding, right?”

Me: “Err… we don’t have a liquor license. It’s against the law for us to sell any.”

Customer #1: “Don’t you have something?”

Me: *shrugs sheepishly* “We have mouthwash.”

(I ended up directing them towards places that are allowed to sell liquor, though I have no idea if they were even open at such a time of night. They just couldn’t get over the fact that the grocery store didn’t sell any!)

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The Color Of Laziness

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m working in a computer lab, when a student approaches the desk.)

Student: “So, do you guys have color printing?”

Me: “Not in here, but just down the hallway by the elevator we have a color printer.”

(It is a distance of maybe 15 meters.)

Student: “You mean I have to walk ALL THE WAY over THERE?!”

Me: “Well… I could give you a piggy back ride?”

(The student stared at me blankly and left. The sad part is, he had to walk MUCH farther than that just to get into the computer lab.)

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It’s Too Much Trouble To Troubleshoot

, | WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I work in an inbound call center that works as a hardware help desk for veterinary clinics who purchase our products. On a relatively slow day for us, I get the following phone call.)

Me: “Hardware Support. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you?”

Customer: “Yes, I am having trouble with our label printer.”

Me: “I can help you with that. On which computer are you having problems with this printer?”

Customer: “Several of them.”

Me: “Okay, I can check on the server for you to make sure it is shared correctly, but I also need to be remoted in to check on the ones you are having problems with.”

(At this point I give the customer a session code to put into the server so I can remote in and check settings.)

Customer: “Thanks, I will put that into the computer. Have a great day.” *hangs up*

(I am slightly confused as we need the customer on the line to troubleshoot any printer problems as when we print pages we don’t actually know if it prints. So I call her back.)

Customer: “[Clinic], how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, you called in about needing help with your label printer; I need someone on the line to troubleshoot the issues with me.”

Customer: “Well, we are really busy here. Can’t you just do it?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I am not sure what the problem is and I can’t just guess. If you are having problems printing I can check the settings on the computers you are having problems with, but if I print anything, I won’t know if it worked.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know what computers are having the problem, so you will just have to figure it out.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have the ability to do that unless I get remoted into the computers with the problem.”

Customer: “I have 30 computers and I just don’t have the time to walk around and find out which ones have the problems and which ones don’t. I have 20+ customers standing in line waiting to be checked in for the weekend. You just need to fix it.”

(Unsure how to proceed, I explain the issue to one of my colleagues. He suggests to explain to the customer exactly what she is asking me to do and what steps would have to be taken for me to complete the troubleshooting.)

Me: “Ma’am, for me to do what you are asking I would have to remote into every computer, kick off the person currently working and check the settings, print a test label, then call you back to see if one printed. I would have to do this 30 times and interrupt your work each time.”

Customer: “There has to be another way. Just fix it.”

Me: “There is another way. If someone could find out for me what computers are not able to print, I would only have to access those computers and speak with that one employee.”

Customer: “I don’t have time to have one of my employees do your job. Forget it. I don’t know why we pay for you to fix things when we are the ones who have to fix them.” *she hangs up*

(I sat for a moment and a colleague walked up to me and explained that every time she called in, if she needed to help or it took longer than five minutes, she hung up on us. We have since stopped supporting her clinic.)

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One Onion Ring To Rule Them All

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “I need to make a complaint about your onion rings!”

Boss: “What is the problem with them, sir?”

Customer: “They are elliptical in shape. They are not rings; they are ovals!”

(My boss actually had to have someone go through a bag of onion rings to pick out enough perfectly circular onion rings to remake his order.)

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It’s Been A Hard Year

| USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays

(The customer approaches the register, puts out an open bag of licorice, and a receipt.)

Customer: “I bought it for Easter and it was hard as a rock.”

(The receipt is dated for March the year before.)

Me: “Ma’am, it’s over 30 days. I can’t return this.”

Customer: *yelling* “But I bought it for Easter!”

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