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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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A Used-less Philosophy

| Waltham, MA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I work in a used book store.)

Customer: “Do you have new books?”

Me: “Well, we sell mostly used books, but we have a small selection of new books here.”

Customer: “I always forget this is a used book store. I NEVER read a book someone else has read. I was a librarian and I wouldn’t even let my children check out books.”

Me: “…”

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Expressly Oblivious

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular

(It’s incredibly busy, and our store is tiny — we have two registers, and hardly any counter space. A woman comes up with a basket full of cosmetics and creams. I ring everything up as quickly as possible.)

Me: “Okay, that’s going to be $60.50.”

Customer: “What? Really? That seems way too high.”

(A bit of sticker shock is understandable, since it’s a small pile of more expensive stuff that adds up, but the line is getting longer and longer.)

Me: “I don’t think I made a mistake. These things are all taxable. Maybe that’s throwing off your math?”

Customer: “No, it’s way too high. Let me see… uh, $1.99… plus $4.50… That’s $5.00? No, $6.00… plus $3.99… up to $9.00…”

(She apparently going to manually add up all of her groceries, and she’s taking her sweet time. I slide her basket back in front of the register.)

Me: “Here, I can just re-ring your items for you and we’ll see if anything’s off. This’ll be quicker and easier.”

(I scan all her items again, as fast as I possibly can, because there are at least five people waiting with their own full baskets and carts. The total comes to $58.00, and the customer smiles smugly…)

Me: “Oh, wait, the second package of tissues.” *I pull it out from under the basket, where it had fallen* “So, yes, $60.50.”

Customer: *while handing over her card* “That’s not right! I need to look at my receipt and count everything up. You’re way too fast; I’m not in a hurry.”

(I look at the completely packed store and paste on a smile to keep from screaming.)

Me: “Well, the customers behind you might be in a hurry, though…”

(The customer glares at me, snatches her receipt, and begins to veerrrry slowwwllly match up her items to the prices on the slip.)

Me: *shoving her basket down to the edge of the counter* “I’m just gonna slide you down so I can help the next customer; you look that over and ask if you have any questions.”

(She stood there, taking up about a third of the counter space, reading her receipt for about fifteen minutes before finally deciding I wasn’t trying to cheat her. In that time I must’ve served half a dozen other customers, and the line never let down. A different customer actually had to grab her cart and move it out from the aisle, because she was so oblivious of other people moving around her.)

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Has No Liquidation Contemplation

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology

(A huge nationwide electronics chain is closing down, signs are everywhere and it’s been all over the news; you couldn’t miss the fact we are closing.)

Customer: “I bought this DVD player here two weeks ago and just found out it doesn’t play movies on USB. Can I get a refund?”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t accept any stock back unless faulty since we entered liquidation this week.”

Customer: “Can I get an exchange, then?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. No refunds or exchanges can be done anymore.” *points to one of the six A4 signs on the counter: ‘All sales final. No refunds unless faulty.’*

Customer: *while storming off* “This is ridiculous; I’m never shopping here again!”

Me: *to my coworker* “Like that will make a difference…”

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Your Overfriendly Neighborhood Grocery Store

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I am working as a cashier at the grocery store I work for. It is early in the day and not every busy. I have a regular customer come up to my register, who is always pleasant, and she, I, and the bagger are having a great conversation. I am at the time the fastest cashier at my store and the bagger is pretty quick as well. During this time I had several people go to different lines because there was no waiting and the regular had a larger order. All her items are bagged and ready to go as soon as the transaction is over. There is now another customer waiting in my line who seems impatient.)

Me: “Okay, you are all set for today! Have a great day!” *I turn to help the next customer* “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “You know, you shouldn’t talk so much!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “That last person you had! You had other people waiting in your line that got fed up with you talking too much and had to go to other lines! You should not hold other people up just because you talk too much. It is rude.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, if I made you wait too long. It was not my intention.”

Customer: “Well, next time don’t talk too much!”

(She leaves, and I turn to my bagger with a confused look, which the bagger shares.)

Bagger: “Did she just complain that we were being too friendly?”

Me: “Apparently. You know those other customers left because they could tell it was a large order and there were open lines.”

Bagger: “Well, at least working in a grocery store is never boring!”

(The best part was about a week later the regular customer came back through my line, and I had the same bagger again, and she overheard the whole thing. She told us we were wonderful, and that she was actually amazed by how quick we were!)

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That’s Just How I Egg-Roll

| GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Popular

(My parents own two Chinese restaurants in succession beginning when I was born. Starting fifth grade, my parents allow me to help out by cleaning dishes, peeling veggies, and bringing food out. This particular event occurs during my seventh year. My mom is just beginning to train me on how to take orders from the phone. Because of this, the speaker on the phone was normally on, and we trained during the dead hours of three to four pm.)

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like to place a pick-up order! I have a party that starts soon!”

Me: “Sure! May I have your first and last name, please?”

(Insert exchanges of information and orders of a lot of food. At this point, the order is finalized.)

Customer #1: “And I’d also like to add six free egg rolls to that order. I’m a close friend to the owner, and she does this all the time for me.”

(This was a red flag, since I knew who the close friends were thanks to my relationship with my mom. My mom nods for me to continue.)

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have that offer.”

Customer #1: “Listen, I can tell you’re new. The manager and I have known each other for a long time and she wouldn’t be happy to know you’re treating me like this.”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry, we don’t have that offer.”

Customer #1: “Excuse me; I can get you fired for treating me so rudely! You’re probably some stupid twerp in high school that finally got their first job after years of being a lazy b****. Let me speak to the manager!”

(My mom motions for me to give her the phone. The customer proceeds to say obscenities about me and how I threatened her while she was ordering. She proceeds to screech how shitty my parents were for raising a shitty, disrespectful kid. In the meanwhile, the waitress notified my dad and he’s standing at the desk listening in as well.)

Customer #1: “And you need to fire that little b****! Having horrible f****** teenagers like her will ruin your restaurant’s reputation!”

Mom: “That’s my daughter.”

(There was a moment of silence on the phone line, and then the lady hung the phone up. Since the order was for a party, she still came to pick up her food. My father, a 6’2”, beefy, Asian man with a large collection of cleavers, stood at the door staring her down the whole time. She never came back.)

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