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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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I Propose Kicking Him Out

| New Orleans, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Love/Romance, Popular

(I work at an upscale, very romantic restaurant. Valentine’s Day is our biggest night of the year, we’re booked solid for weeks in advance. It’s not uncommon for people to propose, so I’m not surprised when I see another waiter putting an engagement ring in a cake. A few moments later I hear the girl shrieking “yes!” and clapping. Another couple flags me down.)

Male Customer: “What’s happening over there?”

Me: “I think it was a proposal.”

Female Customer: “Oh, that is so romantic!”

Male Customer: *frowns at me* “You’d better cancel the champagne, then.”

Me: “Sir?”

Male Customer: *stabs at his plate* “You can forget the champagne and the strawberries. You’ve ruined the surprise now.”

(The female customer and I exchange looks.)

Me: “Sir?”

Male Customer: “You let that guy propose. I can’t propose now. I’ll look like I’m copying him!”

Female Customer: “Propose?!”

Male Customer: “Not anymore. These idiots ruined it! How could you let someone else propose!”

Me: “Sir, I had no idea you were going to propose.”

Male Customer: “Well, how are you going to compensate me for your mistake?”

Me: “Sir?”

Female Customer: “Honey, it’s not her fault.”

Male Customer: “They ruined our evening. This should have been magical. I demand to see the manager!”

(I go and get the manager. The couple are whispering back and forth and don’t look happy. Other customers and giving them anxious glances.)

Manager: “Sir, is there a problem?”

Male Customer: “Yes! You ruined my evening by letting that man propose!”

Manager: “Sir, we are not responsible for guest’s proposals.”

Male Customer: “Yes, you are! You knew I was going to propose and your staff let him do it first! And I can’t propose after him!”

Manager: “Sir, I don’t know what we could have done to prevent this. Our staff cannot tell people not to propose.”

Male Customer: *yelling* “Yes, you can! I reserved a proposal!”

(By now a lot of guests are staring.)

Manager: “Sir, please keep your voice down.”

Male Customer: “No! I will not be treated like this. You ruined my entire evening and now you’re acting like I’m the bad guy!”

Manager: “Sir, if you do not calm down I will ask to you leave.”

(The man begins yelling “ruined!” over and over again, and starts throwing his food on the floor. We end up calling the police to get him out. Throughout all of this his companion silently watches. As the police drag him out, still screaming she opens her purse and puts a wad of cash on the table.)

Female Customer: “That’s for saving me from a terrible marriage. Have a good evening.”

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The Truth Is The Same As Fiction

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(Due to unfortunate genetics and a car accident roughly seven years ago, I walk using a cane. Being only 20 and obviously young, I get a lot of questions about it, especially from strangers at work.)

Me: “Hey, how’s it going? Anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “Nah, I got it.” *sees my cane* “What happened to you?”

Me: “Oh, you know, life isn’t always fair.”

Customer: “No! You gotta use this opportunity to make stuff up and sound cooler!”

Me: “I… got hit by a truck?”

Customer: “Exactly!” *walks away happily, oblivious that I was actually telling the truth*

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Best To Nip(ple) That One In The Bud

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(A customer has asked me for five kilos of pork belly, in large pieces, but she has rejected every piece I’ve shown her, after looking at the underside of it. Note that pork belly comes with the skin on.)

Me: *after another refusal* “May I ask wh—”

Customer: “They have nipples!”

Me: *looking at the tiny nipples on the skin side* “Uh… yes?”

Customer: “I don’t want it with nipples!”

Me: “It’s pork belly. That’s… where the nipples are.”

Customer: “I need it without nipples.”

Me: “I can have the butcher remove the skin for you…”

Customer: “NO. I’ll still know they were there.”

Me: “Okay, so… what would you like?”

Customer: “Don’t you have any without nipples?”

Me: “All mammals have nipples, ma’am.”

(She didn’t buy any pork belly.)