Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Someone Needs To Be The Voicebox Of Reason

| TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “I don’t appreciate the service here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, why is that?”

Customer: “That little girl in the back window is very rude. She looked at my husband weird. He has a voicebox for his neck.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am.”

Customer: “Tell you what. Give us our food for free and we won’t sue you guys.”

Me: “…”

(We never got sued for it.)


That Last Part Is The Icing On The Pancake

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It’s Sunday morning, during our breakfast menu.)

Me: *hearing the door open* “Good morning!”

Customer: “Do you guys have any platters where I can just get sausage and eggs?”

Me: *searching through the options on the screen* “Hey, [Coworker], do we have platters without pancakes?”

Coworker: “No, I don’t think so. Why?”

Me: “He wants to get just eggs and sausage on a platter.”

Coworker: “We can ring him up just the sides.”

Customer: “How much would that be?”

Me: *ringing up the eggs and sausage* “It’s gonna be about $5. Did you want to try the ultimate?”

Customer: “What does it come with?”

Me: “It has the eggs, sausage, we’ll replace the pancakes with another side of sausage. And you get a side of hashbrowns with it.”

Customer: “Bacon.”

Me: “Not the sausage?”

Customer: “No, just bacon. How much?”

(I cash out the customer while my coworker shouts the order back to kitchen, repeating it several times so that kitchen can actually understand it. She tells them it’s with the pancakes; I correct them that that’s being replaced with the bacon. This entire time, the customer is still right next to me, and can hear everything the two of us have said. When it comes out, half of the tray is covered with bacon, while the rest is with scrambled eggs.)

Customer: *interrupting me while I’m bagging the order* “What’s in that platter?”

Me: “It’s just the bacon and eggs, like you wanted.”

Customer: “No, you charged me for the ultimate. You charged me for the pancakes. Give me them.”

Me: “We replaced the pancakes with the bacon like you wanted.”

Customer: “You charged me for pancakes. Give me my pancakes.”

Me: “All right, just a moment, please.” *starts walking away*

Customer: “No ‘just a moment.’ Give it now!”

Me: “I need to get my manager.”

(I quickly explain the situation to the manager on shift, explaining that we gave him what he wanted and was charged for.)

Manager: *after about a minute, to the kitchen* “I need some pancakes, please!”

(At this point, I’ve holed myself at the specialty drink station, doing the morning prep.)

Me: *to Coworker* “Please give me something to justify my staying here until he leaves…”


Crazy From Eight Ways To Sunday

| UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work for a broadband and telephone company. I am on the ordering provisioning team who arranges for telephone lines to be installed. I am dealing with a returning customer.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure you want to port your phone number into our network? That can take up to 10 working days. If we set you up with a new number you could be connected by tomorrow.”

Customer: “No, I worked very hard for that number. It has no eights you see. It’s why I left your company in the first place.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “I don’t like the number eight. On my last bill with your company there was a call charged at £8.88… The phantom phone call. I want to keep my number.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’ll order this now and be in touch over the next 24 hours.”

Customer: “Do you have a number I can contact you on?”

Me: “Certainly, it’s 028—”

Customer: *gasps and hangs up*


He Shed His Brain A While Ago

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Customer: “Do you have anything that can prevent a dog from shedding?”

Me: “Yes, we have brushes and combs for—”

Customer: “No, I mean something to stop them from shedding all together?”

Me: *confused* “Uhm. No. We don’t.”

Customer: “So, there’s not, like, a pill or something that could make a dog not shed?”

Me: “No, it’s natural for animals to shed hair. They have to—”

Customer: “So, if I went to the vet, I couldn’t get, like, a shot or something that will make them stop shedding?”

Me: “No, animals have to shed. They lose hair because—”

Customer: “So, if I invented something that would make a dog never shed, I’d be, like, rich.”

Me: “Uhmm… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Customer: “But what if I did? Then I’d be rich!”

Me: *giving up* “Yup, I guess so.”

Customer: *to his girlfriend* “Hey, babe! If I invented a shot that could make it so dogs never shed, I’d be rich!”


A Fee(ble) Excuse

| Yankton, SD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a bank call center. More often than not, I get calls about people who want to appeal late fees on their credit cards.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to appeal my late fee on my credit statement.”

Me: “Sure thing. What is the reason you are appealing your late fee?”

Customer: “I forgot to pay my bill.”

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