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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Needs A Key To The Real World

| Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

Customer: “I need you to make a copy of my car key. It barely works at all and I need a new one that works perfectly.”

Me: “You do know that we make a copy of your key? The new key will work just as well or poorly as the key you give to me.”

Customer: “No, it will be a new key so it will work just as well as my key did when it was new.”

Me: “That would be true if you were bringing in your key when it was new. However I can see that your key now is very worn and we copy what you give us.”

Customer: “No, I want it made better. Is that so hard?”

Me: “Okay, let’s assume that instead of a key you were copying a document that had several misspelled words on a copier. Do you think that the copier would correct the spelling of the words on your new copies?”

Customer: “Well, it should!”

Me: “Here we learn the difference between ‘Should’ and ‘Reality.’ And I am sorry to say that reality is all we have here. So I am going to have to turn you down for making you a key.”

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Her Items Cannot Be Fabricated

| AR, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Popular

(A woman was looking very disoriented in the crafting aisle, and so I went to approach her.)

Customer: “Do you have paint for a sign? I need a bucket.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t carry paint in buckets. We have fabric glue, but not a bucket of it.”

Customer: “Oh.” *holds up her hands to approximate a huge sign* “I need paint for a sign this big.”

Me: “I’m afraid that we don’t carry paint for signs, ma’am. Any paint that we have in stock is intended for fabrics and is in small bottles. We are a crafts store, but we specialize in fabric.”

Customer: “That’s okay! I’ll just buy your paint and then a paintbrush, please.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid that we don’t carry paintbrushes either. We are a crafts store, but we specialize in fabric. Have you tried going across the street to [Department Store]?”

(At this point the woman drops what she is carrying as if I offended her terribly.)

Customer: “No, I came HERE for crafts. Are you telling me that this fabric store can’t have someone go across the street and special order those paintbrushes here for me right now!?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am…”

Customer: “WHAT KIND OF A CRAFTS STORE IS THIS!?”

Me: “One that specializes in fabric, ma’am.”

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Very Family Unfriendly

, | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m a hostess at a restaurant that is comprised of a dining room on one side and a lounge/bar on the other. Children, for obvious reasons, are not permitted on the bar side. On this evening we are packed, which is not unusual for a Friday night. A female customer approaches me at the front desk.)

Customer: “How long is the wait for the dining room?”

Me: “Good evening. Right now we are looking at a forty-five minute wait for the dining room. Would you like me to put your name down?”

Customer: “Forty-five minutes! That’s pretty s***ty! What about the bar?”

Me: “The bar does have availability. Is everyone in your party over eighteen?”

Customer: “No, I have two little kids that are d*** near starving!”

Me: “I apologize, but minors are not permitted in the bar side.”

Customer: *shouts* “Oh, you just hate children, then!”

Me: *stunned silence*

(The family left, the mother swearing and cursing our “children hating” policies.)