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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Pinot No No

| Lake District, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work on the bar of a small restaurant that attracts a lot of upscale clientele. Our selection of wines is large for the size of the business, but we only have eight that we do by the glass (the house wines). A well-dressed gentleman aged around fifty approaches.)

Me: “Good evening, sir.”

Customer: “I’ll have a small glass of Pinot Grigio.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have a Pinot by the glass. We do have a dry Italian white that is similar, though.”

Customer: *as though I’d slapped him across the face* “What kind of place is this? I’ve never heard of a restaurant not having a house Pinot Grigio. What else do you have?”

Me: “We have the Italian white, which as I said is similar to a Pinot grape, as well as Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay.”

Customer: “But you do sell Pinot Grigio?”

Me: “By the bottle, yes. It’s £18.95.”

Customer: “Then I’ll have a small glass of that. How hard is that to understand?”

Me: *losing patience* “We do not sell that particular wine by the glass, sir. If I open the bottle, I am required to charge you for the entire bottle and not just one glass. What I can serve you by the glass is this particular dry white –” *picking up the bottle* “– which is the most similar to a Pinot Grigio we have.”

Customer: *sighs* “Fine, I’ll try that one.”

(I pour him a small glass of the Italian white. He proceeds to aerate the wine as though he is a professional wine taster, before smelling it, sipping it and smiling.)

Customer: “Yes, this is a lovely Pinot Grigio. I’ll take a bottle, please.”

Me: *head-bangs the wall after he leaves*

Well, Tough Sheet

| Cambridge, MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(I am working at the customer service desk when I see an older couple walking in carrying a large trash bag. When they get up to my desk, the first thing the woman pulls out is a gallon-size ziplock bag filled with lint.)

Customer: “We bought these flannel sheets the other day and look at all the lint that collected in the lint trap when I washed them!” *motioning to the bag of lint*

Me: *trying to think fast, as I do not clean out the lint trap on my dryer as often as I should* “Okay, is there something wrong with the sheets?”

Customer: “They shed too much. For [price] I would expect better. I want a refund.”

Me: *not trying to sound too know it all, or trying to avoid the refund, I say…* “These sheets are actually known for giving off a lot of lint on the first wash, but are great sheets after that. I am happy to refund your money, but perhaps you would like to give them a try?”

Customer: “This amount of lint could start our house on fire! NO! I do not want to try them. I want my money back!”

(I processed their return, putting the money back onto their store credit card. I later noticed them purchasing at the registers the same exact set of sheets in a different color, and I wondered how long until they brought me a new bag of lint.)

H2-Slow To Realize, Part 2

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(We have plumbers working on the building, and they have to turn off the water. I put an “out of order” sign on the restroom and went about my day until they finish. A while later a lady comes in.)

Lady: “I’m going to use the restroom. Where is it?”

Me: “I’m so sorry but the water is turned off so the restroom is out of order.

(She stares at me blankly and repeats her request to use the restroom.)

Me: “I’m sorry; the restroom is out of order. There is no water to the building right now while they fix a leak.”

Lady: *still looks confused* “But we just drove for two hours!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter where you drove from or how long it took. There is NO WATER in the building and NO RESTROOM! You have to go somewhere else!”

(She finally got the idea and left. Did she drive for two hours just to use our toilet? It’s not that special, I assure you.)

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H2-Slow To Realize