Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Not Always Right: The Magazine

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m checking out a woman’s groceries while her boyfriend flips through the magazines at the checkout, looking increasingly dissatisfied.)

Customer: “All of your magazines are messed up! You should offer me a discount.”

Me: “Messed up in what way? I’m not authorized as a cashier to offer discounts, but I’ll be happy to have a look and let my manager know when he’s back from his break.”

Customer: “See, right here where the outside edge is messed up, and all of them are like that!”

(I look and see that the outside edges are indeed a little rough looking, but not so much that the magazines are ruined for reading.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir, but again I’m not authorized to offer discounts. If you don’t mind waiting, I can push the call button to call my manager now, and perhaps he can offer a discount.”

Customer: “Well, it looks sloppy and unprofessional. You should fire whoever is responsible for this!”

Me: “It’s not a store employee that we can fire, sir. All of our magazines are stocked by an outside vendor. Again, I’m not authorized to offer discounts, but my manager should be available shortly if you’d like to take it up with him.”

Customer: “No, YOU should offer me a discount! The customer is always right, and YOU should be able to fix this without me having to wait for a manager! I used to work in a grocery store, and I know how things should work!”

Me: “If you used to work in a grocery store, sir, then you’ll know that customers treat the register magazine racks as a personal library, and aren’t always careful about how they return items to the rack. Once again, I am not authorized to give discounts, but I’ll be more than happy to call my manager over for you.”

Customer: “But I’m the customer, I’m right, and you can’t argue with me!”

(I once again offered to call my manager, and said nothing more while I finished his girlfriend’s transaction. He ended up purchasing the magazine, grumbling all the while that the condition of our racks was “unprofessional” and he shouldn’t have to wait for a manager.)

Not Very Open Minded, Part 14

| Kent, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work on the customer service desk of a large, busy retail store. We open later on Sundays, at 11 am. Our opening times are clearly signposted on the doors. It’s around 10 am and although we’ve raised the metal shutters on our storefront we haven’t yet unlocked the doors, and are still setting up for the day. The customer bangs on the door, causing me to look up from my paperwork. I shake my head and point to the sign.)

Me: “We’re not open yet, sorry!”

(Customer continues to bang on the door, then with an almighty shove manages to actually break it down.)

Customer: “I want to do a return!”

Me: “Uh… you just BROKE our door. We aren’t open!”

Customer: “Right, whatever. So I need to return these picture frames. Here’s my receipt…”

Me: “I can’t return them. Our tills aren’t on, and even if they were our office team hasn’t put the cash drawers in. You have to wait until 11 am.”

Customer: “What? You’re telling me I can’t return these? Why aren’t your tills on yet?”

Me: “We’re not open. We open at 11 am. Our opening times are on the sign outside. See?”

Customer: “What? So I can’t return them?”

Me: “You can, but you need to wait another hour. The tills aren’t on. The store isn’t open. I physically can’t give you your money back yet.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! This is dreadful customer service; I’m never coming back here again!”

(She stormed out in a huff, leaving me confused, bewildered, and with the task of fixing the doors back up before we open.)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 12
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 11

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 6

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I worked as an assistant manager at a young adult clothing/skateboard store in the mall. A lady and her daughter came in one day and this lively exchange happened.)

Customer: “I’d like to return these shoes I bought for my daughter. I ordered the wrong size.”

Me: “Okay, no problem!” *I start inspecting the box looking for our SKU to scan, but don’t see it* “So, I don’t see our store sticker. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “No, I ordered them online.”

Me: “Do you have the shipping invoice?”

Customer: “No! I just want to exchange for the right size!”

Me: “I’d be happy to but I need proof of purchase or a sticker to scan and these don’t have that. Are you sure you purchased them from us? A lot of stores sell these specific sneakers.”

Customer: “I ordered them from [Shoe Brand]’s website! What’s so hard about just exchanging them for the right size?!”

Me: Oh, I see! Unfortunately I can’t give you credit for something you didn’t purchase through us, but there is a [Shoe Brand] store at [Mall about half an hour away] that would be able to process your exchange.”

Customer: “YOU WANT ME TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO [City said mall is in] TO EXCHANGE THESE? I CAN SEE THEM RIGHT THERE! JUST GIVE THEM TO ME!”

Me: “I can sell them to you and you can send the other ones back to the company when it’s convenient to you, but I cannot take something back that wasn’t bought here.”

(This went back and forth for a few minutes while I tried to explain how inventory and bulk purchasing work, but to no avail.)

Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! Where else in this mall do they sell these shoes?”

Me: *lists other stores* “But, ma’am, none of these stores will be able to take the return either. You have to bring them back to—”

(The customer interrupts me to turn to her daughter.)

Customer: “Come on, honey, we’ll go to [one of the stores I listed]. They’ll give us the right shoes.”

(With that they turned to leave in a huff.)

Me: “But, ma’am! Oh, screw it.”

(I always say “you can tell the ones who have never worked retail” and truer words had never been spoken about this woman.)

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 4
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 3

Returner Burner, Part 2

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I work at a large national retailer. When items are returned damaged they are “claimsed out” and returned to a warehouse for credit. If an item is returned in new condition it is returned to the shelf. I am working the service/returns desk when I get this call:)

Me: “Service desk, how can I help you?”

Customer: “My wife returned a white scooter to y’all a few days back, and I was wondering if y’all would be interested in selling it back to me at a discount?”

Me: “Sir, if it was returned damaged then we sent it to claims and it is no longer in the store. If it was returned in new condition then it is back on the shelf and would be full price.”

Customer: “Oh… so… no discount?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: *sigh*

Related:
Returner Burner

This Item Is High In Metal

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

(I work in a music/movie store. We often get calls to see if we have something in stock before the customer comes to pick it up, especially if it is an uncommon title.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Can you tell me if you have something?”

Me: “Sure! What is the title of it?”

Customer: “Creamed corn.”

Me: “Are you referring to the band Korn?”

Customer: “No, the food. Why would I want a band?”

Me: “Because this is a music store.”

Customer: “Look, just tell me if you’re out!”

Me: “But we’re always out…”

Customer: “You’re a lousy grocery store!” *hangs up*