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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Rude-barb

| Canada | Crazy Requests

(It is just around opening at my job, when one of our regulars, who isn’t quite all there mentally, walks in. Because the store has just opened, it’s pretty quiet, and my coworkers and I are sitting around the tills, chatting. The regular customer spends a few minutes walking around, when finally she makes her way over to us.)

Customer: *to me* “You’re not busy! Go and get me some rhubarb!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we’re all out of rhubarb right now.”

Customer: “No! I mean go get in your car, drive around the city, and don’t come back until you’ve found some for me!”

(She wasn’t kidding.)

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Your Last (Tele)Port Of Call

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests

(I have a call from a customer who has a defective phone. I work with her to get a replacement. She just has to send hers back and pick up the new one when this conversation happens…)

Me: “Okay, now that is all set. What is your physical address so I can find you the closest store.”

Customer: “I’m a truck driver.You can’t expect me to try to park my truck at one of your stores!”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’ll have it shipped to you.”

Customer: “Are you deaf or something? I’m a truck driver. You can’t mail me anything. It will get stolen while I’m on the road!”

Me: “Ma’am, how do you expect me to get you your phone that we just ordered if you refuse to go to a store but also refuse to let use ship it to you?”

Customer: “That’s your problem, not mine. Figure it out!” *click*

(Later when passing on the information to my boss, he said, clearly upset with me, “What? Why didn’t you tell her about our newly adopted teleportation delivery system? I’m very disappointed in you!” )

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Lost In Multiple Translations

| Mariehamn, Finland | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I’m standing in line at the service desk at the library. It is located in a Swedish-speaking region of Finland. A patron is in front of me.)

Patron: “Hi! I’m looking for a book. A very specific book.”

Librarian: *very friendly and accommodating* “Of course. Do you have the title or the name of the author so I can look it up for you?”

Patron: “Well, here’s where you can help me, because I can’t remember the title of the book. Or who wrote it. But I think it was about an Italian girl… or a woman. Maybe she was French, by the way. Or Finnish. Somewhere from that area anyway.”

Librarian: *still friendly* “All right…”

Patron: “There also may have been a crocodile involved in the book somehow. But I can’t remember which page that was on. Or if it even was in this book.”

Librarian: *just a tad less accommodating now* “Well, er, you see—”

Patron: *interrupting* “And I simply can’t remember what language it was written in, but it’s very important that you find me the book with a Swedish translation. The original edition was written in English. It might have been Japanese, though. And there was a crocodile in it. I think. In Finland. Or in Italy. It’s about divorces.”

Librarian: *not looking very happy at all* “Let’s just go have a look at our fiction section, then…”

Patron: “No! It was a biography! Or a short story. I think.” *they walk away*

Me: *to the other librarian* “And I thought I had had a bad day working in retail.”

Other Librarian: “This is the second time this week!”

(I later found out that the woman was looking for ‘The No. One Ladies Detective Agency’ by Alexander McCall Smith! Way to describe it.)

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In Bad Company

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(A lady comes into my booth at a craft show and is very interested in my products. She asks me for a particular scent and I point out to her where it is on the table.)

Customer: “No, this isn’t it. This is [scent].”

Me: “That’s part of my company name. The actual scent is [scent].”

Customer: “Wait, I thought you said you made all this. Why is there a company name?”

Me: “It’s my company, so the name belongs there…”

Customer: “No! Everyone knows you don’t have your own company. Only big corporations have companies! I don’t want to support that, so I won’t buy from you!”

(She walked out and I was left to ponder how it was that I was not allowed to own a company because I’m only one person.)

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Needs To Get Some Private Understanding

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “I see that [Specific Time] on [Specific Day] is reserved for a private party. How can I buy tickets for that time?”

Employee: “That time is reserved for a private party and tickets are not available to the public.”

Customer: “So how do I buy tickets to the private party?”

Employee: “Unfortunately, you have to be on the host’s guest list to have access to the event.”

Customer: “Okay, I would like to add my name to the list.”

Employee: “It is a private event, so we cannot add your name to the list.”

Customer: “Okay, so I can just show up, then?”

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