Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Setting Of A Smoker Gun

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work in a very touristy area and we are constantly busy with many families with children due to the attractions there. In the state of California, it is illegal to smoke 20 feet within most buildings, especially restaurants, and my company has a strict rule on that…)

Guest: *standing just right outside smoking a cigarette with smoke coming into the restaurant*

Me: “Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to move just beyond those green trashcans over there to smoke.”

Guest: *smiles at me and instead of moving forward towards the trashcans, he just takes a step to the side*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s that way. Please.”

Guest: *smiles and suddenly takes off*

(I think the guest was gone but next thing I know he comes storming back up to me, no cigarette.)

Guest: “You cannot make up your own rules you know.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: “That was rude! You cannot tell me where to smoke and not smoke.”

Me: “Sir, it’s actually California State Law that prohibits smoking within 20 feet of most establishments.”

Guest: “Law? LAW?! WELL THEN, STROLLERS SHOULD BE BANNED!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guest: “YOU HEARD ME! Strollers should be banned! They’re illegal! As I was standing over there, I got ran over by them, not once, not twice, but multiple times! They should be banned.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guest: “IT’S ASSAULT AND BATTERY! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

Me: “Uh…”

Guest: “YOU ARE A VERY RUDE PERSON! Can’t just make up s***! YOU ARE VERY RUDE!”

(And he stormed off yelling a few other things about me and soon just disappeared.)

It’s Not All Right To Be So Closed Minded

| Albany, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(I’m an assistant manager at a small local pet supply store. Company policy is that if a full time employee goes more than 30 minutes over 40 hours a week a manager just has to sign off on their timesheet to approve any overtime. I’ve just gotten done doing this for an employee who closed the previous evening, who told me about a customer who arrived one minute before closing and stayed until almost forty minutes after despite being told the store was closed, when the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to make a complaint about your employee!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask which employee you had a problem with?”

Caller: “I don’t know her name. She has red hair and she was there last night at closing! I was there no more than five minutes after you closed and she was extremely rude!”

(I have already reviewed the receipts from the previous night. Only one transaction took place after closing and it was 38 minutes after.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am; could you please give me more details so I can speak to her about her behavior?”

Caller: “When she unlocked the door to let me out after I had paid I said ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were closing’ and she said ‘Have a great night!'”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure I understand. Was there something about her tone of voice that seemed rude to you?”

Caller: “No! I said I’m sorry and she didn’t say ‘that’s all right!'”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize, I don’t see the problem here.’

Caller: “I said I was sorry. It was rude of her not to say it was all right!”

Me: “Well, frankly, ma’am, it wasn’t all right. I’ve already reviewed our receipts from last night and you were here much later than five minutes after we closed. Furthermore, my employee tells me that you had been told that we were closing and you ignored her and continued shopping. Also, our business hours are on our website, our Google listing, printed on our receipts, and printed on our door very clearly. There is no excuse for you to not know what time we close and to keep my employee here more than half an hour late. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: *sputtering angrily*

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am.”

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An Expiration Date Worth One’s Salt

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A customer comes up to me with a can of table salt.)

Customer: “There’s no expiration date on this.”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “But how will I know when it goes bad?”

Me: “Um, it’s salt. It doesn’t go bad.”

Customer: “Nonsense! All food goes bad!”

Me: “Sir, salt does not go bad. It’s a mineral.”

Customer: “It’s food! It goes bad!”

Me: “Sir, it’s a rock. Rocks do not go bad.”

Customer: “But it’s food!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “So when is the expiration date?”

(I give up and take the can from him, pretending to look for an expiration date.)

Me: “Ah, here it is.”

(I point to the UPC code.)

Me: “That’s the expiration date. As you can see, you’ve got a good twenty million years or so before that happens, so you don’t have anything to worry about.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(He walked off with his can of salt, muttering about how it was going to go bad before he could use it.)

Thank You For Not Coming Again

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work at a self-serve frozen yogurt place and every now or so an annoying customer comes in. From the beginning I could tell this lady was going to be a pain but I tried to be as friendly as possible even when she handed me her spit coated sample cups because she was too lazy to throw them away.)

Me: “All right! Have a great evening.”

Customer: “They don’t train you to say ‘thank you’ here?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You should be thanking me for my purchase or is that too difficult for you to manage? I demand you thank me!”

Me: “I can manage it but you underestimate how apathetic I am toward people who need hollow gratitude for buying something they already wanted.”

(She threatened to never come to our store again. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that the other location she swore to solely patronize was owned by the same person.)

Tapas On Tap

, | UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(We’re a tapas bar, so lots of small portions. We usually recommend two-three per person. Tonight, we’ve got a lot of bookings but can sometimes fit people in for limited slots of time. Two customers come in without a reservation, and it’s around 6:30 pm.)

Me: “Well, I can fit you in now, but I’m afraid we’ll need the table back by 7:30.”

Customer #1: “That’s loooads of time. We’re only getting something light.”

Me: “Okay, here you go!” *hands over tapas menu*

(A few minutes later, I approach for drinks.)

Customer #1: “A bottle of [Wine], please.”

Me: “A bottle… Okay!”

(A few more minutes later.)

Me: “And can I take a food order?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, so I’m like really hungry so I’m going to have like everything.” *laughs maniacally and lists almost everything, about seven items*

Customer #1: “Oh, he is hungry! Okay I’ll just have [five more items].”

Me: “…no problem.”

(Their “something light” turned into me having to squeeze extra chairs onto a tiny table for an actual booking because, of course, these two hadn’t left in time.)

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