Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

They’re Probably Grumpy In The Daytime Too

, | Norman, OK, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work as a dispatcher for a university police department. I work night shift. I stay up all night even on my days off. It is about two or three in the morning and the phone rings.)

Me: “[My Name], Police Department.”

Caller: *an older female* “Y’all need to turn your stadium lights off!”

(Football is a religion in this town. The gigantic football stadium is practically right in the middle of everything, and its lights are often kept on at night for workers.)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: “I’m trying to sleep and those d*** lights are shining right into my house!”

Me: I’m sorry about that, ma’am. It’s up to the athletic department to turn the lights on and off, but I can pass it along to my lieutenant and see if anything can be done.”

Caller: *further ranting about not being able to sleep and how inconsiderate the university is, etc. before hanging up*

(Had I not been on a recorded line, I might have pointed out the irony to her in calling a night shift worker in the middle of the night and complaining about not being able to sleep to someone who has to sleep in the middle of the day. With the noise. And the light. And the traffic…)

Client Defiant

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work in a law office as both receptionist and as consultant for new clients. We always do our consultations over the phone, since walk-ins tend to expect to see the lawyer right away. Seeing as his schedule is planned usually a month in advance, that isn’t feasible.)

Me: “Law office, how can I help you?”

Caller: “I need your address.”

Me: “May I ask why?”

Caller: “To see the lawyer. What is your address?”

Me: “[Lawyer] is not in today, so you wouldn’t be able to see him today. Can I help you?”

Caller: “No, you can’t. This is sensitive information. I just need your address.”

Me: “Okay. We only do [types of law] at this office. Is this the type of case you have?”

Caller: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “Well, new callers are unable to see the lawyer the same day. We have to schedule them to see him. I can take your information over the phone, however.”

Caller: “No, you can’t. I would prefer to talk to him. Just give me your address.”

Me: “Okay. The address is [address]; however, we still would not be able to schedule you for an appointment to see him without first doing a consultation with you.”

Caller: “Listen, sweetheart, I don’t give sensitive information out over the phone. Working at a law office, I would think you’d understand that. I will be in there today to see [Lawyer].” *hangs up*

(One hour later, the caller and her husband arrive, and instantly glare at me.)

Caller: “I’m here to see [Lawyer].”

Me: “Do you have an appointment to see him?”

(I already know she doesn’t, but I’m dying to know what she has to say.)

Caller: “I wasn’t told that I need to have an appointment! I need to see him today. It’s imperative that I see him today. How long will it be before I can see him?” *They sit down.*

Me: “Hmm, if you don’t have an appointment, then it’s not going to be until [three weeks later].”

Caller: “WHAT? But I have to see him about my case!”

Me: “OH! You need a consultation!”

Caller: “YES!”

Me: “Right! We don’t do consultations in person. I do them over the phone. I’d have done so earlier, but you were unbelievably rude, with no reason to be. And you told me that you refused to give me your information. Without your information, there’s no way we can set an appointment for you.”

Caller: *stares at me*

Me: “We can’t take your case. Have a nice day!”

(She argued with me until the legal assistant came to back me up. With her attitude and insistence to see the lawyer, there’s no way we would want her as a client.)

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This Is A Shopping Emergency!

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests

(I have just made a call to emergency services for a resident who is in a dire state. They respond in record time as I’ve called in ‘stat,’ meaning the person isn’t breathing or their heart isn’t functioning. The fire truck arrives first and parks in the middle of our parking lot, first responders leaping out and coming inside. I direct them where to go. A minute later, a woman leaves out the door after visiting her mother and then comes directly back in.)

Me: “Hello again, is something wrong?”

Woman: *angrily* “Yes, I can’t move my car! That truck is in the way!”

Me: “I’m sorry… the fire truck?”

Woman: “Yes, the fire truck! I have to get going! Can you have someone move it?!”

Me: “Umm, no? They’re upstairs dealing with a medical emergency. I can have someone come out and try to direct you out of the space.”

Woman: “Fine, just hurry up!”

(I get another staff member to go outside and try to direct her out, all the while fielding calls from the bosses about the emergency. The woman and my coworker come back in.)

Coworker: “There’s not enough room. You’ll have to wait, I’m sorry.”

Woman: “But I have to get going! I HAVE TO GO SHOPPING!”

Better ‘Watch’ Out

| LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(A woman comes up to the in window.)

Customer: “I’d like to get these filled, please.”

(We are going to close soon, but we aren’t very busy and she’s getting an important medication, so I can get it ready for her if she needs it tonight.)

Me: “Sure thing. Did you want to get this tonight or come back tomorrow?”

Customer: “Oh, I need it tonight. When will it be done?”

Me: “Well, we close at six, so before then!”

Customer: “Oh, you can’t get it ready any sooner…?”

Me: “Uh… It’s 5:45 right now.”

Customer: *in a snippy tone* “Well, how was I supposed to know?! I’m not wearing a watch!”

Dutifully Confused

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work at a grocery store chain near my house. On this particular day I’m off but have stopped in to grab some snack items. While I’m loading my cart up with chips, soda, and other good stuff one of our regular customers comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hey, don’t you work here?”

Me: “I do, but I’m off duty today. I just need some munchies for a party I’m hosting.”

Customer: “You know you really should be helping folk if you work here.”

Me: “Erm… yes, but as I said I’m not working today. Today is my day off.”

Customer: “You work here, and you’re not doing anything right now. Put the cart down and help me find some stuff on my list or I’m reporting you to your manager!”

Me: “Before I do that sir, can I ask you a question?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Where do you work?”

Customer: “Huh? At [Nearby Business Firm].”

Me: “So what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at your job?”

Customer: “What? It’s Saturday! I don’t work today!”

Me: “Well, neither do I.”

(The customer stares at me dumbfounded.)

Customer: “But… but… you’re here! You can’t be here if you aren’t working! That confuses people!”

(It took another ten minutes of explaining that yes, retail workers get days off and are allowed to still make use of their place of business before he finally went off to find one of my coworkers.)

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