Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Dry Demands

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular, Transportation

(A guest comes up to the desk with damp hair and a look of fury.)

Me: “Hello, may I help y—“


Me: “Um… I’m sorry ma’am. I’ll go fetch you another one.”


(I tell the manager to watch the desk while I find her another hair dryer. It takes a long time because all I can find are broken ones. Finally I head up to the desk with a working dryer.)


Manager: *whispers to me* “Where were you? The lady was getting more and more agitated!”

Me: “I couldn’t find a working one.” *to Guest* “Here you go, ma’am. Again, sorry about that.”

Guest: “YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS!” *snatches dryer and goes to dry her hair in the lobby bathrooms*

(She takes a while, and meanwhile I notice something: it’s raining hard outside. She finally comes out and throws the dryer at my manager, which hits the counter. Pieces of dryer fall off and my manager picks it up. She makes a beeline for the door. I also notice she had no umbrella.)

Me: “Ma’am, wait…”

Guest: “WHAT, IDIOT?”

Me: “…Never mind.”

(She throws me a dirty look, stomps outside, and her hair goes from dry to damp again in five seconds. I saw her throw another childish fit in the street! Glad I didn’t have to hear it! All that for nothing.)


Inheriting An Impossible Request

| Helsinki, Finland | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

Me: *phone rings* “[Law Firm], [My Name].”

Customer: “Do you handle inheritance cases?”

Me: “Yes, we do.”

Customer: “Well we have this disagreement in my family that has been going on for almost twenty years.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “The problem is that a couple of relatives won’t sign any documents and we are all absolutely adamant that court proceedings are out of the question.”

Me: “Those are really the only options, I’m afraid. Either you can make an agreement or go to court.”

Customer: “No, that will not do. I want you to resolve it.”

Me: “I can write the contracts for everyone involved to sign, or I can take the matter to court. There is no third way.”

Customer: “No! Those options will not do! I want you to resolve it now. And I mean immediately!”

Me: “You mean at this very moment, over the phone, talking to you?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that is impossible.”

Customer: “Why?!”

Me: “It just is. I would have to do magic to resolve your disagreement of twenty years instantly, talking to just one party over the phone.”

Customer: “You are just absolutely useless!” *click*


Your Excuse Holds No Water

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I work at a city pool as the head lifeguard. We do not allow flotation devices such as life jackets, foam noodles, puddle jumpers (they go around the upper arms and the chest), etc. A family comes to the pool with puddle jumpers, and are told at the gate that we do not allow flotation devices in our pool. About an hour later, a family comes and has a child in a swimsuit that has built-in floaties in the front and back. We have no control over that so they are allowed. A few minutes later, I see a young girl with puddle jumpers on in line for the diving board. Her dad is with her.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but flotation devices are not allowed in the pool.”

Dad: “She just wants to dive off the diving board and she’ll take them off.”

Me: “Sir, you were told at the gate that we do not allow any flotation devices in the pool. If she cannot swim to the pool on her own or without her floaties, then she should not go off the diving board.”

Dad: “This is ridiculous! This is a stupid rule!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but not all parents are as careful with their children as you are. In the past, we’ve had too many children left unattended in the pool with a lifejacket on and no parent. Many parents expect the lifeguards to be babysitters while they read a book or play on their smartphones and leave their children in the pool. Even though they are wearing a lifejacket, those are not made for swimming but for floating. Some young children can actually get stuck face down in a pool while wearing a life jacket.”

(The dad pulls the little girl out of the line and she proceeds to throw a fit, crying and demanding to go off the diving board. I continue to roam the pool deck. I see this dad talking to a lifeguard up in the chair, then goes to the front gate and talks with the guard working the cash register. I go to the front gate to excuse the guard to rotate to his next station and ask the dad if I can help him with something.)

Dad: “You are a bunch of hypocrites! There is a girl in the shallow end of the pool with her mom and she has a lifejacket on! What are you going to do about that?”

Me: “Sir, this girl is wearing a bathing suit with the flotation pads built in. Do you want me to go over to the mom, tell her that the bathing suit is a flotation device and make her remove it and have her child swim naked?”

Dad: *grumbles something and walks away when I ask an approaching family how I can help them*

(The two other guards told me later that he said the same thing to them, and they both gave him the same answer about making that poor girl swim naked! He called me “Shrek” and told one of the other guards I was being a b****. He has come back two other times and caused trouble by acting childishly and deliberately breaking rules along with his wife. He is now known as the “Shrek” guy.)


Not The Professional Way To Behave

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Time

(My boss is out of the office this morning at a funeral for a family friend. He is going to be gone until about 1:00 pm; it is currently 11:45.)

Customer: “We had an appointment with [Boss].”

Me: “I’m sorry, he’s out of the office until 1:00 pm. It looks like he had you down for an appointment at 1:30. Did our wires cross somewhere?”

Customer: “No, that is when our appointment is for. We just wanted to do it now. Is he at lunch? Shouldn’t he be back soon?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. He’s at a funeral right now. He won’t be back in the office until 1:00. I suggest you come back at your appointment time.”

Customer: *ragingly mad* “That is RIDICULOUS! People need to keep PERSONAL LIFE separate from their WORK LIFE! This is UNACCEPTABLE!”

Me: “Well, I’ll make sure to let him know that you showed up EARLY for your appointment when he gets back from the FUNERAL. We’ll see you at 1:30 for your SCHEDULED appointment. Have a nice day.”


Giving You A Big Pizza Crazy

| Valencia, Spain | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A woman in her fifties enters the restaurant from the employees-only door.)

Customer: *shouting* “I want twenty pizzas!”

Me: “Miss, I can’t get your order from here. Please, use the entrance for customers.”

Customer: “I want twenty pizzas!”

Me: “I heard you, but I can’t take your order like this. Please, come to the bar from the other side and I’ll get your order.”

(She goes around the corner to the customer entrance and gets to the bar.)

Customer: “I want twenty pizzas! And I want them now!”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. What size?”

Customer: “The biggest one. And I need them in five minutes.”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, but the oven takes that long only baking one pizza, and I need to make them myself, cut them, and put them in boxes. That’ll probably take at least 50 minutes.”

Customer: “But I want them now!”

Me: “Sorry, but it’s physically impossible. I’ll gladly make them as fast as possible, but not in five minutes.”

Customer: *turns back and starts walking out while mumbling* “Ha! Why would I want that much pizza? Who am I going to feed, the whole city? You’re crazy.”

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