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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Punishments With Real Heart

| Gilbert, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am working at a store that specializes in making your own stuffed animal. I am helping a family with two sons, one age four and the other about ten. The younger brother is having a great time, and the older one is pretending he is only doing this for his brother. We get to the stuffing area where we do a “heart ceremony” where you pick out a heart for your animal and the ceremony is to give him characteristics you like and then rub the heart on your back so the bear always has your back. The younger brother is super excited, and the older brother has finally gotten on my nerves.)

Me: “All right, now, for the last part of the heart ceremony you need to shout, ‘I LOVE [COMPANY]!’”

Younger Brother: “I LOVE [COMPANY]!”

Older Brother: *mumbles incoherently*

Me: “I couldn’t hear that.”

Older Brother: *angry but louder* “I love [Company]!”

Me: “I still couldn’t hear you.”

Older Brother: “I don’t want to do this. This is stupid.”

Me: “This is the last part, so you need to do it right. If you don’t shout ‘I love [Company]’ then I am going to make you go to the front of the store and sing ‘I’m a little teapot.’”

Older Brother: *very loud* “I LOVE [COMPANY]!”

(For the rest of the time there, the older brother had a better attitude and even helped dress the younger brother’s stuffed animal. Though for the life of me, I can’t figure out how he thought I was actually going to make him sing “I’m a little teapot”.)

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Flood Of Lies

| UK | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers

(I am working on a specific out-of-hours phone line for house maintenance and repairs on Christmas Eve. It is about four pm and one of the last calls of the day. I have already let the customer know that calls are recorded.)

Customer: “There’s a pipe under my sink and if I touch the bolt it is going to leak.”

Me: “I’m afraid we only deal with uncontainable leaks during out of hours, sir.”

Customer: “But it’s going to leak if I touch it!”

Me: “Sir, if it is not already leaking I cannot send an engineer out to you. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “Erm, okay, then, it’s leaking now.”

Me: *following my script* “Okay, and is the leak currently containable?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I do apologise, sir, we only deal with uncontainable leaks during out of hours.”

Customer: “Then it IS uncontainable. My kitchen is flooding!”

Me: “Okay, I can get an engineer out to you but I would like to remind you that calls are recorded so you may be charged if this is not the case.”

(The caller hung up straight away.)

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Not Because It’s A Black Diamond

| NC, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Popular

(The company is implementing a new “extended training” program that required all employees to observe a sales transaction they weren’t a part of and critique the coworker who handled it. This particular incident happens on a really slow day, and I am the only one who has gotten my required number of observations for the day. So I [a woman] say I’ll take the next customer and my four coworkers [all men] can observe and get their reports done. An older, black gentleman in a nice suit comes into the store:)

Me: “Good evening, welcome to [Jewelry Store]! How may I help you?

Customer: *doesn’t speak right away, as he is already looking at the display cases, mumbles hello*

Me: “Are you looking for anything special today? A gift maybe?”

Customer: *finally looking at me* “Yes, I need a present for my wife’s birthday tomorrow.”

Me: “Wonderful! We have a great selection—”

Customer: *interrupts, looking past me at my four coworkers standing at the back of the store* “What are they looking at?!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “What, are they all staring because I’m a black man?!”

(Out of my for coworkers, two were white, one was Hispanic, and the fourth was half-Greek.)

Me: “Oh, no, sir! We’re required by our company to observe each other and offer critiques on our ability to work with customers. They’re looking at me, not you.”

Customer: *ignores what I said* “They’re just staring because I’m a black man and I’m being waited on by some white girl. A black man can’t go anywhere without…”

(This leads to a fifteen minute lecture on racism, that apparently I am also participating in just by standing there. He’s not shouting or calling me names, so I just try to smile and nod, and wait for an opening to talk.)

Me: “I’m very sorry you feel that way, sir. They really are watching me to critique my sales methods. You said you wanted something for your wife’s birthday?”

Customer: “Eh… yeah, yeah. You got any square onyx?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no, we don’t have much onyx in stock right now. We can definitely order a piece from our catalogue but it will take about a week to come in.”

Customer: “No, no! I need a square onyx and I need it in a gold ring like this one!”

(He holds up a VERY uniquely shaped ring. It’s obviously pretty old and worn. The gold is paper thin at the bottom of the ring shank.)

Me: “I’m afraid a ring that unique would require an individual casting by our custom jeweler. This kind of process can take up to 30 days, since they want to make sure everything is just right.”

Customer: “Ridiculous! You just won’t make the ring by tomorrow because I’m a black man!”

(He takes his ring and walks out of the store, saying a few other things about our staff being racist.)

Me: “Have a good night, sir!”

Coworker #1: “Hey, [My Name], you handled that really well.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, we were going to step in if he got out of line with you but you did great.”

Me: “Thanks? I’m still not sure what just happened though.”

Coworker #3: “He’s probably just cranky because he’s buying his wife a birthday present at the last minute.”

(We let the manager know about the customer, just in case he called to complain. But to my knowledge he never did. All of my coworkers gave me 5 stars on my employee critique.)