Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

That’s How The Cannoli Crumbles

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

Me: *as I’m finishing taking a customer’s order* “Anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, actually. Do you think you could get the driver to stop somewhere? Buy me a couple cannolis?”

Me: “Well, normally we don’t allow our drivers to make other stops while they are out on delivery, but seeing as we aren’t that busy right now, we can make an exception for you as long as you reimburse the driver for the cost of the cannolis.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? Why would I have to pay the driver some of my hard earned money?!”

Me: “Ma’am, we’re not going to allow our driver to stop off and buy your cannolis if you’re not going to reimburse the driver for the cost.”

Customer: *now screaming* “ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME! I JUST WANT MY GOD-D*** CANNOLIS!”

Me: *calm* “I understand that but we do not sell cannolis here nor do we usually allow our drivers to make other stops while they are out on delivery.”

Customer: “BUT YOU’RE A DELIVERY SERVICE! YOU SHOULD DELIVER ME WHAT I WANT!”

Me: “Yes, we are a delivery service, but we do not sell cannolis at our store.”

Customer: “YOU KNOW WHAT? F*** YOU, AND F*** YOUR STORE! CANCEL MY ORDER! I’M NEVER ORDERING FROM YOU GUYS AGAIN!” *click*

The Wrong Color And Attitude

| Emeryville, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work at a well-known company that sells cosmetics, skincare, fragrance, and hair products. This takes place at cash wrap. The client has a new canister of colored hairspray in hand, and had just dumped out a bag of trash — receipts, used tissues, used sponges, and a used hairspray canister — onto my counter.)

Client: “I’m exchanging this root concealer for that one there.”

Me: “Sure thing. Was there something wrong with the product?”

Client: “It was the wrong color! It’s black! I’ve spent forty thousand dollars on this same f****** color for years and I only found out today they have it in light brown! Why have you people never told me it comes in light brown?!”

Me: “Well, we do have testers so you can check the color… but I’m happy to exchange it for you. May I see the old canister?” *I test the nozzle* “Ma’am, this canister is empty…”

Client: “It was the wrong f****** color! I had to rub it into my head and mix it with foundation powder to get it to the right color!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but if it was the wrong color when you first got the product, you could have brought it back to us before using the entire canister. You’re asking me to give you a free can of root concealer so we can recycle your old can for you.”

Client: “But I’ve spent forty thousand dollars on this same f****** color!”

Me: “Ma’am, let me try this another way: would you ever go to a deli, pick up a pre-wrapped and clearly labelled turkey sandwich, eat the entire sandwich, then bring the empty wrapper to the guy at the counter and demand a new sandwich and a refund because you’d rather have chicken?”

Client: “Who would do that?! That’d be ridiculous!”

Me: “I’m sorry… but I can’t exchange your empty canister for a new one.”

Client: “But it was the wrong f****** color!”

(This went on for a good ten minutes. She left muttering “Forty thousand dollars!” with all of her trash still on my counter.)

This Customer Is Causing A Real Stink

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work on an online jewelry shop, taking calls for customers who are either confused with products or their prices, our delivery services, etc.)

Me: “[Jewelry Store], this is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “Hello! Do you sell deodorant?”

Me: *trying to hold in my laughter* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You know, deodorant. The stuff you put on your armpits?”

Me: “Ma’am, I know what deodorant is, but this is a jewelry store… We don’t sell deodorant or any sort of hygiene-like products; only jewelry. I’m sorry for your inconvenience.”

Customer: “But jewelry is a beauty product…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I understand that. I don’t know what you’re getting at, though.”

Customer: “And deodorant is a hygiene product, to help with your beauty.”

Me: *trying not to die laughing* “Ma’am, have you seen our website?”

Customer: “Yes. What do you mean?”

Me: *getting slightly more aggressive* “Did you see deodorant ANYWHERE on it?”

Customer: “No… I just thought you were out of stock.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I am 100% sure you can find deodorant at your local convenience store or grocery store without waiting for shipping.”

Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Well, I’m pretty sure if I put my manager on the phone, he’ll say the same thing.”

(I put my manager on the phone.)

Customer: “Hello? Is this the manager?”

Manager: “Yes? I heard you were having some trouble on our website.”

Customer: “Yes, the little lady you have working here isn’t letting me buy deodorant from your website.”

Manager: “Ma’am, this is a jewelry store. We don’t sell deodorant or any sort of hygiene-like products; only jewelry. But, I’m pretty sure you can buy some deodorant from a store near you with no delivery waiting or cost.”

(My mind is blown because that is almost exactly what I said to this lady. The call finishes and the customer returns to me.)

Customer: “Well, I still don’t believe you.”

Like Talking To A Parrot

| NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(It is a slow day, and there are two people working. I am at the cash register and the owner is checking on all of the animals. A teenage girl walks in, looking confused.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am, is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I want a parrot.”

Me: “Of course. Do you know what kind of parrot you would like?”

Customer: “One of the fancy ones that can talk.”

Me: “We have several that can talk; if you could perhaps describe it more I might be able to help you find it.”

Customer: “Uh, I dunno; I’ll know it when I see it.”

Me: “These are all of our parrots in these cages.”

Customer: *continues looking, and turns around* “Oh! This is the one!”

Me: “That is an African Gray Parrot—”

Customer: *to the parrot* “Hi! You’re coming home with me!” *looks at price, then to me* “Oh dear, this is very expensive. Can I get a discount?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, this one has already been paid for and is on reserve for customers who are coming later.”

Customer: “Oh, so it’s already been paid for?”

Me: “Yes, it has. This bird is theirs; we’re just holding it for them.”

Customer: “But, can’t I just take it?”

Me: “I apologize but we can’t just give away somebody else’s bird.”

Customer: “But it’s paid for; I should get it!”

(This continues for a couple of minutes until…)

Customer: “I demand to speak to your manager!”

(I go and get the owner and tell her the problem.)

Owner: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Hey! I said a manager! You’re an owner!”

Owner: “I am in fact a higher ranking than a manager and can help you with anything that a manager could help you with.”

Customer: “No! I was told to speak to a MANAGER if I had any problems, and you aren’t a MANAGER!”

(After a couple minutes of back and forth about managers and owner, the owner gives up and goes into the back room. She comes out with a note taped on to her name badge that says “Manager.”)

Owner: “Hi, I’m the manager. What seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “Finally! A manager! Anyway, your stupid employee won’t give me this bird. It’s free!”

Owner: “Well, that is because that this bird belongs to somebody else. We are simply watching it until they can come and get it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay then!” *walks out, completely satisfied*

Me: “…”

Owner: “…”

Not So Sweet About The Syrup

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m working the closing shift at work and, earlier in the night, we had run out of an ingredient to make one of the lattes. I’m working the drive-thru when I get this customer.)

Me: “Hi, thanks for choosing [Popular Coffee Chain]! What can I get started for you?

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a [Popular Latte] with soy.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re all out of [syrup] for tonight. I’m so sorry about that.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, I think that calls for a free drink!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Okay, well, then, never mind.”

Me: “Are you sure I can’t get you some water for the trouble of coming out?”

Customer: “Nope. Bye!” *backs out of drive-thru*

(No, you’re not going to get a free drink just because we’re out of an ingredient, especially when you rudely demand it. The only thing I’ll get you for your trouble is water. Other people have come through that night wanting the same drink you ordered and were understanding and just ordered something else. And they were nice about it, too!)

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