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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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They’re On Your Coat Tails

| England, UK | Crazy Requests

(Please note that our store has no computer system to check if we have an item in stock and the only way to do so is to look round the store. Whilst the items have codes they do not help us unless we have the item in front of us to check it is the right one. During a busy period I answer the phone.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Store]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help?”

Caller: “Hello, I was wondering if you could look for an item for me?”

Me: “Of course, could you describe the item for me?”

Caller: “It’s a grey coat.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll have a look and see what coats we have. Could you give any more details about it? Is it [Store Brand] or [Other Brand]?”

Caller: “It’s definitely [Store Brand]; I can give you the code, if that helps?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll have a look. I’m afraid the code won’t help unless I have an item in front of me because we have no computer system.”

Caller: “Well, do you want the code?”

Me: “No, the code won’t actually help me just yet. I’m just looking to see what we have; can you tell me anything more about the item?”

Caller: *starting to sound annoyed* “It’s mid-grey. Look, can’t I just give you the code or something? It would be much quicker!”

(I have now been looking through all our Store Brand coats and have found nothing to match the description, so just in case she was mistaken I look at the Other Brand coats.)

Me: “Like I said earlier, I am unable to look up the code for the item so it really wouldn’t help me right now. Sorry.”

Caller: “For god’s sake, can’t you just find the d*** thing?! I’m reading out the code now!” *reads code*

(I have now been on the phone to her for about 15 minutes and still find nothing.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I’m unable to find anything that matches the description you gave me. I don’t think we have the item in stock.”

Caller: “I know you do; I’ll just give you the code again.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t find anything anywhere. Either you can try and describe the item further or you could contact another store or look online. I’m sorry; we don’t have it.”

Caller: *sounding very annoyed* “Fine. I’ll just find it somewhere else. Bye.”

Me: “Goodbye, thank you for calling. Sorry I couldn’t be more help.”

Caller: “Whatever.” *hangs up*

(Later on my supervisor answered the phone from the manager of a nearby store. Apparently the woman had phoned them to complain about me and try to get me fired, claiming that I was rude and didn’t even look for the item. It turned out that the coat was a brand that we don’t even carry, so naturally we didn’t have any. My supervisor and all my other colleagues had seen me running backwards and forwards looking for the coat and so knew there was no truth to her complaint. In fact, my supervisor even bought me a pack of biscuits for my trouble and politeness to the woman.)

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The Problem Is A Few Sizes Bigger Than It Should Be

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a clothing store where ALL our merchandise is special order – meaning we sell nothing off the rack. We cater almost exclusively to women’s formal wear for weddings.)

Me: *answers phone* “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Um, hi. So, I ordered a bridesmaid’s dress from you guys, and I need a new dress.”

Me: “A new dress? Is something wrong with this one?”

Caller: “It doesn’t fit.”

Me: “Okay, well, when’s the wedding?”

Caller: “September 27th.”

(This all happens during the first week of September.)

Me: “Ah. Well…”

Caller: “Do you think I’ll be okay with the timing and everything?”

Me: “Let me do a mock order and check. *types info into the order system* “Ok, well… It looks like if you ordered the dress today, it wouldn’t even be shipped until the 26th.”

Caller: “What about with rush?”

Me: “That IS with the rush. And even if you paid for the overnight shipping, it wouldn’t get into the store until the 28th or 29th.”

Caller: “But that’s after the wedding!”

Me: “I understand that. There isn’t sufficient time to get your alterations done with us, but maybe if you take it to a tailor they can let it out a size or so.”

Caller: “I need it let out more than a size. I’m telling you, I need a whole new dress.”

Me: *suspecting something isn’t quite right here* “Let me check your file, see if there’s something there that can help. If not, I’ll get one of my managers to help you.” *I scan through caller’s account with us until I find what I already suspected would be there* “Okay, [Caller]?”

Caller: “Yes?”

Me: “When you ordered the dress back in March, do you remember what size you were measured for?”

Caller: “Not specifically.”

Me: “According to our records, you were measured at a 20W.”

Caller: “That sounds right.”

Me: “It also says you declined to order that size. Do you remember what size you ordered?”

Caller: “The dress I picked up was a 12.”

Me: “That’s because you ordered a 12.”

Caller: “And it’s way too small! I need a new dress!”

Me: “Okay, [Caller]. Given the circumstances, I’m afraid there isn’t much we can do. There just isn’t enough time, and frankly, you chose to order a size significantly smaller than what you were measured for.”

Caller: *unintelligible crying and screaming*

Me: “I understand you’re upset and frustrated. However, there really isn’t much we can do for you. I’ll still leave your name for our store manager and have her give you a call, okay?”

Caller: *sniffles and mumbles a goodbye before hanging up*

Me: *to coworker who heard my half of the conversation* “You just can’t make this stuff up.”

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I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 23

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’ve just gotten off work. I head over to the mall to shop a bit before going home. I go to a national coffee chain and order a drink. While waiting for it, someone walks up to me. Note: I’m still in my uniform, which is red, and my name tag, with the logo of the company I work for.)

Customer: “Excuse me, shouldn’t you be making drinks?! It’s busy!”

Me: “Uhm… excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me! Get off your lazy a** and go back behind the counter!”

Me: “I… ma’am, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Oh, now you’re making s*** up! Get your manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, I work at [Store].”

Customer: “No, you work here!”

(One of the actual employees hears her yelling and comes over.)

Employee: “Ma’am, she doesn’t work here. If she did, she’d be wearing a shirt like mine. And her name tag would say [Store], not [Name].”

Customer: “Well!” *takes her drink and storms off*

(The employee and I look at each other.)

Employee: “So… extra shot of espresso?”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 22
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 21
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20

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Espresso: Katy Perry Edition

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(The beverage menu for the coffeehouse is extensive, about 75 pages. I’m taking an order from a trio of young looking kids.)

Me: “And for you, sir?”

Customer #1: “I’d like an iced espresso.”

Me: “Well, that’s not really an item. Is there anything else I could get you?”

Customer #1: “No, I want an iced espresso.”

Me: “We have lots of iced drinks and hot drinks, or if there was a specific way you wanted it prepared maybe that would help me serve you?”

Customer #1: “I don’t see why I can’t get an iced espresso.”

Me: *starting to lose my cool* “Well, I can bring you espresso and ice, but what you’re asking me to do is impossible.”

Customer #1: “What? How do you mean?”

Me: “You’re asking for both the hottest and coldest items on the menu. If I put ice in espresso, it’s going to melt and make you an Americano, which you said you don’t want. So because I cannot bend the laws of physics, I’m not going to bring you something you don’t want and set myself up for failure.”

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]* “This is ridiculous.”

Customer #2: *gives me a sympathetic look, then urges [Customer #1] to order something else*

Me: *totally done with this as everyone else ordered and have told Customer #1 to stop being difficult* “I can bring you an actual Americano, or I could try bringing you ice and espresso so you can see for yourself, but I’m not bringing you an espresso with melting ice in it so you can tell me I’m wrong.”

(The customer ended up getting something COMPLETELY different, which made me wonder if he was “testing” me.)

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Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 9

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests

(The customer has just finished giving me a large order over the phone.)

Customer: “Will that go out today?”

Me: “Everything is in stock, so I should get it out with today’s mail.”

Customer: “Will I have it by Thursday?”

Me: “Probably! Shipping to your area is usually two days. I’ll just need your credit card…”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll get that to you Friday or Saturday.”

Me: “Ok… You want me to hold the order until the end of the week?”

Customer: “Nah, send it out today, and I’ll get back to you with the payment after I get it.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’m not allowed to send out an order without payment.”

Customer: “But I need it by Thursday, but I don’t want to pay until the end of the week.”

Me: “I can’t send out two thousand dollars worth of merchandise without payment.”

Customer: “Well, that seems like a ridiculous policy.”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 8
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6

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