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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Balls-To-The-Walls Crazy

| Renton, WA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(It is during the French Open, at my tennis shop. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Shop], how may I help you?”

Customer: *sounds frustrated* “I can’t see the tennis ball!”

Me: Sorry, ma’am, can you elaborate?

Customer: “I’m watching TV on one of those big HD TVs and the TV salesman said I should be able to everything but I still can’t see the ball. It’s so small and blends into the court. I was so upset and just didn’t know who I should call!”

Me: “You are watching the French Open and you can’t see the yellow ball on the clay courts?”

Customer: “Exactly! Is there anything you can do to help? I was so concerned and I didn’t know what to do so I just opened the phone book and you were the only listing under ‘tennis.’”

Me: *trying not to laugh as my boss walks in the shop* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a local pro shop thousands of miles away from the French Open. We have absolutely no jurisdiction over the size and color of the tournament balls. There’s really nothing I can do.”

Customer: *obviously missing the point* “There aren’t any other colors of balls?”

Me: “We do carry pink Breast Cancer Awareness balls.”

Customer: “No, thank you. I think that would look worse on the TV.”

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Dying To Say That

| USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Time

(I’m waiting to be called for my appointment in my doctor’s office when a man comes in and charges up to the check-in desk.)

Man: “Do you do lab work on site here? I need a test and I can’t wait for it!”

(The receptionist explains that while they collect all manner of samples on site, they send their samples off-site for processing. She ends the conversation with “but we do accept walk-ins and usually have lab results within a day or two.” The man decides this is good enough for him, takes the check-in paperwork, and sits down to fill it out. Not a minute later…)

Man: “I’m really sorry, but I need to eat something or I’m going to pass out. I mean, really, I’m going to pass out if I don’t get some food right now. Can I take this paperwork with me and just come back in an hour or so?”

Receptionist: “You are welcome to take the paperwork with you and come back whenever, but we can’t enter you into our system or put you in the walk-in queue until we have your paperwork and we know you are waiting to be seen. If you want to be seen as soon as possible, please fill out the paperwork now and have a seat to wait to be seen. Our wait isn’t long now, only about 30 minutes.”

Man: “No, I will die on your floor if I don’t eat something right now. Don’t you have a call-back system where I can get in line and just come back when you’re ready for me? All my favorite restaurants do that now… I love it. Can you do that?”

Receptionist: “No, sir, you have to fill out the paperwork now and wait here in the lobby until we call you, or you can make an appointment to be seen later. We have guaranteed appointments starting at 8 am tomorrow, if that would be better for you.”

Man: “No, if you insist that I have to wait, I’ll wait. I just need some tests. 30 minutes isn’t too bad. I might pass out from not eating, but you can revive me if that happens, I guess.”

(Less than five minutes later, the receptionist calls me back for my appointment. As I walk back all I hear is:)

Man: “Now, what kind of scam are you trying to pull here? You said I was next to be seen, and they called someone else back before me!”

(While a hybrid primary and urgent care, I’ve never seen anything like this before at this office, and I raise an eyebrow at the receptionist.)

Receptionist: *quietly* “Word got around to the posh nearby residents that we offer prompt service, and we’ve had an influx of rich people who think they won’t have to wait, no matter when they waltz in.”

(Since I needed a number of tests and whatnot, my appointment takes a while, but I end up leaving around the same time as the impatient man.)

Me: *loudly* “Well, thanks for taking such good care of me at my scheduled appointment time. I’m sure tired after hustling to be on time for my appointment and going through all those tests. I hope I can still find a restaurant open in this big city at 8 pm on a weekday, so I don’t starve before I make the 20 minute commute back to my house!”

(The staff were trying not to laugh behind the desk.)

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He Has A Computer Bug Up His A**

| Inland Empire, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology, Wild & Unruly

Customer: *slams two broken laptops on counter* “Fix ’em.”

Me: “Um. Okay. What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “I don’t know; that’s your job, not mine.”

Me: “Sure thing. Do you happen to have a warranty on these by chance?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Why?”

(At this point, I’m plugging both laptops into the wall under my desk via the chargers the customer has supplied, so I can attempt to boot them up.)

Me: “Well, these appear to be a little bit older. If they are out of warranty, we can work with you on services for rep—”

(The customer begins yanking on the power chords, which are now plugged in under the counter. The “bricks” on the chargers are swinging very close to my face. He yanks hard enough to free both chargers from the wall, and they come inches from smacking me in the face hard.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, was that necessary?”

Customer: “I’m not paying you to fix my s***, you a**-hole! Fix it or I’m throwing them at you!”

(At this point, management has come over to the counter and asked the customer to leave. He looks right at me.)

Customer: “You want to go outside, buddy?”

Me: “Sir, are you serious?”

(The customer is escorted to the front of the door, detained by loss prevention, and the police are called. The manager comes up to me afterwards.)

Manager: “Did he come in like that? What just happened?”

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A Piercing Critique On Your Prices

| Paris, France | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Popular

(A young customers enters.)

Customer: “Hi, how much for an eyebrow piercing?”

Me: “Hi, it’s 40 Euros.”

Customer: *sadly* “But I have only 20…”

(This is something a lot of people try to do. It’s pretty annoying for us, because it’s just a loss of time and it’s insulting. They wouldn’t do that in another store.)

Me: “I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do. We use sterile material, sterile gloves, sterile needles, sterile titanium jewelry. This has a certain cost and we have a rent to pay.”

Customer: “But I have only 20.”

Me: “You can pay with a [Credit Card] or withdraw at the ATM right here in the street.”

Customer: “I can’t. I’m on probation and this is my last 20.”

Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t spend them on a piercing, then?”

Customer: “I know there is a place where every piercing costs five Euros.”

Me: *staying calm* “Yes, there are some shops like that. I have to tell you that those shops are really dangerous; they pierce without gloves with non-sterilised jewelry and a lot of people get allergies and infections there. If you don’t have a lot of money, don’t go there.”

Customer: “Okay! Can you give me the directions to get there?”

Me: *shocked* “No! I’m sorry but no, I can’t send you to those scammers!”

Customer: *obviously not getting it* “Can you print me a map?”

Me: *giving up* “You will find a map right here in the subway. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “But you didn’t gave me the address!”

Me: “I won’t. Have a nice day, and please let me get back to work.”

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Has Interior Designs On Your Prices

| Oslo, Norway | Crazy Requests

(A customer with a rather full cart approaches, and I start scanning his items.)

Me: *scanning items that are on sale*

Customer: “Excuse me? Are these also on sale?” *pulls two large framed pictures from cart*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. They are full price.”

Customer: “Okay, but can you give me a discount?”

Me: “Well, that depends… Is there something wrong with the products?”

Customer: “No, I don’t think so. They look okay to me.”

Me: “Well, sir, then I see no reason for giving you a discount.”

Customer: “Well, you see, they don’t fit very well with my interior style, so…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I take that as a no?”

Me: “I am sorry, sir, full price it is.”

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