Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

The Problem Is A Few Sizes Bigger Than It Should Be

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a clothing store where ALL our merchandise is special order – meaning we sell nothing off the rack. We cater almost exclusively to women’s formal wear for weddings.)

Me: *answers phone* “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Um, hi. So, I ordered a bridesmaid’s dress from you guys, and I need a new dress.”

Me: “A new dress? Is something wrong with this one?”

Caller: “It doesn’t fit.”

Me: “Okay, well, when’s the wedding?”

Caller: “September 27th.”

(This all happens during the first week of September.)

Me: “Ah. Well…”

Caller: “Do you think I’ll be okay with the timing and everything?”

Me: “Let me do a mock order and check. *types info into the order system* “Ok, well… It looks like if you ordered the dress today, it wouldn’t even be shipped until the 26th.”

Caller: “What about with rush?”

Me: “That IS with the rush. And even if you paid for the overnight shipping, it wouldn’t get into the store until the 28th or 29th.”

Caller: “But that’s after the wedding!”

Me: “I understand that. There isn’t sufficient time to get your alterations done with us, but maybe if you take it to a tailor they can let it out a size or so.”

Caller: “I need it let out more than a size. I’m telling you, I need a whole new dress.”

Me: *suspecting something isn’t quite right here* “Let me check your file, see if there’s something there that can help. If not, I’ll get one of my managers to help you.” *I scan through caller’s account with us until I find what I already suspected would be there* “Okay, [Caller]?”

Caller: “Yes?”

Me: “When you ordered the dress back in March, do you remember what size you were measured for?”

Caller: “Not specifically.”

Me: “According to our records, you were measured at a 20W.”

Caller: “That sounds right.”

Me: “It also says you declined to order that size. Do you remember what size you ordered?”

Caller: “The dress I picked up was a 12.”

Me: “That’s because you ordered a 12.”

Caller: “And it’s way too small! I need a new dress!”

Me: “Okay, [Caller]. Given the circumstances, I’m afraid there isn’t much we can do. There just isn’t enough time, and frankly, you chose to order a size significantly smaller than what you were measured for.”

Caller: *unintelligible crying and screaming*

Me: “I understand you’re upset and frustrated. However, there really isn’t much we can do for you. I’ll still leave your name for our store manager and have her give you a call, okay?”

Caller: *sniffles and mumbles a goodbye before hanging up*

Me: *to coworker who heard my half of the conversation* “You just can’t make this stuff up.”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 23

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’ve just gotten off work. I head over to the mall to shop a bit before going home. I go to a national coffee chain and order a drink. While waiting for it, someone walks up to me. Note: I’m still in my uniform, which is red, and my name tag, with the logo of the company I work for.)

Customer: “Excuse me, shouldn’t you be making drinks?! It’s busy!”

Me: “Uhm… excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me! Get off your lazy a** and go back behind the counter!”

Me: “I… ma’am, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Oh, now you’re making s*** up! Get your manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, I work at [Store].”

Customer: “No, you work here!”

(One of the actual employees hears her yelling and comes over.)

Employee: “Ma’am, she doesn’t work here. If she did, she’d be wearing a shirt like mine. And her name tag would say [Store], not [Name].”

Customer: “Well!” *takes her drink and storms off*

(The employee and I look at each other.)

Employee: “So… extra shot of espresso?”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 22
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 21
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20

Espresso: Katy Perry Edition

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(The beverage menu for the coffeehouse is extensive, about 75 pages. I’m taking an order from a trio of young looking kids.)

Me: “And for you, sir?”

Customer #1: “I’d like an iced espresso.”

Me: “Well, that’s not really an item. Is there anything else I could get you?”

Customer #1: “No, I want an iced espresso.”

Me: “We have lots of iced drinks and hot drinks, or if there was a specific way you wanted it prepared maybe that would help me serve you?”

Customer #1: “I don’t see why I can’t get an iced espresso.”

Me: *starting to lose my cool* “Well, I can bring you espresso and ice, but what you’re asking me to do is impossible.”

Customer #1: “What? How do you mean?”

Me: “You’re asking for both the hottest and coldest items on the menu. If I put ice in espresso, it’s going to melt and make you an Americano, which you said you don’t want. So because I cannot bend the laws of physics, I’m not going to bring you something you don’t want and set myself up for failure.”

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]* “This is ridiculous.”

Customer #2: *gives me a sympathetic look, then urges [Customer #1] to order something else*

Me: *totally done with this as everyone else ordered and have told Customer #1 to stop being difficult* “I can bring you an actual Americano, or I could try bringing you ice and espresso so you can see for yourself, but I’m not bringing you an espresso with melting ice in it so you can tell me I’m wrong.”

(The customer ended up getting something COMPLETELY different, which made me wonder if he was “testing” me.)

Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 9

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests

(The customer has just finished giving me a large order over the phone.)

Customer: “Will that go out today?”

Me: “Everything is in stock, so I should get it out with today’s mail.”

Customer: “Will I have it by Thursday?”

Me: “Probably! Shipping to your area is usually two days. I’ll just need your credit card…”

Customer: “Oh, I’ll get that to you Friday or Saturday.”

Me: “Ok… You want me to hold the order until the end of the week?”

Customer: “Nah, send it out today, and I’ll get back to you with the payment after I get it.”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’m not allowed to send out an order without payment.”

Customer: “But I need it by Thursday, but I don’t want to pay until the end of the week.”

Me: “I can’t send out two thousand dollars worth of merchandise without payment.”

Customer: “Well, that seems like a ridiculous policy.”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 8
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6

She’s The Carrier

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(In the UK we have implemented a 5p charge on carrier bags; this is to help reduce the number of carrier bags going into landfills. Our store had implemented this well before the other stores. If a customer came in for one item that was easy to carry or put in pocket/handbag, no carrier bag was offered, yet if they had sufficient items, you would offer a carrier bag but explain it would cost them 5p. A very posh looking woman enters the store, walks up the sweets aisle, picks up a small chocolate bar and comes over to my till.)

Me: “Hello, did you find everything you needed today?”

Customer: *said in a posh voice but also very belittling* “Yes, that will be all.”

Me: “Okay, that is [price], please.”

Customer: “Give me a carrier bag.”

Me: “Okay, but carrier bags are 5p now, what with our store’s initiatives to—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “I AM NOT PAYING FOR A CARRIER BAG!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s just company policy—”

Customer: “I WILL NOT PAY FOR A CARRIER BAG! I HAVE ASKED YOU FOR ONE AND I WOULD LIKE A CARRIER BAG SUITABLE FOR MY PURCHASE!”

(A queue has built up now and I am beginning to lose my temper. Suddenly an idea pops in my head.)

Me: “One moment, please.”

(I walk out of my till, and walk over to the fruit and veg section nearby, pick up a small plastic bag that would be used to place small amounts of loose fruit or veg in. I walk back to the till and place the chocolate bar inside the bag and hand it to the customer.)

Me: “There we go. So, that was [price], please.”

Customer: “WHAT IS THAT?”

Me: “Well, it is a carrier bag suitable for the small nature of your product and will not cost you a penny extra on your [price], please.”

(The queue of people are making comments about how silly she has been, asking for a carrier bag for a chocolate bar and refusing to pay for a one.)

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

(The manager is called down, and the story was told from both sides with other customers backing me up as she was accusing me of yelling and swearing. The customer was basically told the same thing that I was trying to say about the carrier bags. She admitted defeat but told my manager she wanted this logged as an official complaint against me. The manager pulled me to one side saying by company policy they are meant to give me a verbal warning but that they found it so funny that no such action would take place.)

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