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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Asking Laboriously

| UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I run a small online business, and my most recent customer’s order has encountered a problem with shipping. While in the middle of trying to organise getting the customer’s item shipped to him, my partner starts going into labour. I throw together a quick message to the customer to explain the situation.)

Me: “Unfortunately you’re going to need to wait for an update on your orders shipping, as my partner has just started going into labour and I’m going to be preoccupied with that for the next day or two. Rest assured I’ll get back to sorting out your items shipping as soon as possible. Once again, sorry for the delay.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(Three hours later.)

Customer: “Hey, any update on my order?”

(I’m not sure what child-birthing he’s heard of that takes less than three hours to complete and for someone to get back to work after! He sent no less than five messages over the next 24 hours asking for further updates to his order.)

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Criminals Shouldn’t Like It Too Hot

, | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work at a very popular donut shop and work alone to close at 10 pm. It is 9:55 pm Sunday night and I have had a very crabby day. The floor is freshly mopped with wet floor sign out, half the lights are out, the back of the restaurant is dark, all the leftover donuts moved to a rolling rack. Obvious to anyone with two brain cells to rub together that the store is getting ready to close.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: *looks around for a good 2 minutes* “Yeah, ugh, can I get some HOT glazed donuts?”

(I proceed to reach for the glazed donuts on the rack.)

Customer: “No! I said the hot ones!”

Me: “Sir, it is closing time and we will not have any more made until 6:00 am. If you like there is a microwave behind you to wa—”

Customer: “No, you stupid b****! Get your lazy a** back there and make me my donuts!”

(I flip the switch to turn the lights on in the kitchen behind me.)

Me: “You see all that equipment back there? The industrial sized mixers, donut cutters the size of the interior of a Buick, and conveyor belt oven and glazer that takes up half the kitchen? You really think I am going to go back there and turn all that on to make you two hot glazed donuts?!”

Customer: “Yeah, b****! You want me to come over that counter and MAKE you?!”

Me: “I’m sorry; store is closed. I need you to leave so I can lock the doors.”

(What the customer didn’t know is during his threatening rant, the officer that came most nights for his night shift, usually earlier but was late that night, heard the whole exchange. Right before he crawled over the counter the officer grabbed him. Guy ended up having priors for assault and had a warrant for his arrest.)

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Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 2

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Money

(A customer calls up because they have been on holiday for three months and a monthly payment had been missed and their policy cancelled.)

Me: “Hello, [Company]; this is [My Name]. Can I ask who I’m speaking with?”

Customer:  “Yes, hi, my name is [Customer]. I’m just calling because I received a letter saying you had cancelled my policy.” *member provides details*

Me: “Okay, it looks like we didn’t receive the last payment and sent you a letter requesting you contact us. You didn’t so we cancelled the policy.”

Customer: “I was on holiday; can you reinstate it?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we can’t reinstate it. I can start a new policy from now if you like.

Customer: “No. I want it reinstated. The post office held my mail while I was away and there’s no letter from you in there, and you should have taken the money. There was enough in there.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we did send a letter. I’m not sure why the post office didn’t have it but it was sent from our office. I’m looking at your details now and the credit card we take the payments from has expired so the bank refused the payment.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you update the card information?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you need to call us and tell us when your card information changes. We can’t do it without you letting us know.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous; reinstate my policy!”

Me: “I’m sorry but the system won’t allow me to do that. I can start a new one.”

Customer: “I want a manager.”

(I grab one of our managers and stand next to him as he takes the call. He says exactly what I said and offers to honor the old price if the new policy doesn’t match. He puts me back on the phone to take out the policy.)

Me: “Okay, so my manager has told me you’re going to start a new policy and he will match the previous price.”

Customer: “No, he said he would better the price.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but he has told me match. Sorry if there was a misunderstanding.”

Customer: “ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?! HE SAID HE WOULD BETTER THE PRICE. YOU JUST DISAGREE WITH EVERYTHING I SAY.”

Me: “Ma’am, I was beside him the whole time he was on the phone.”

Customer: “…I don’t want to speak to you anymore. Put me through to someone else…”

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Not Much Assurance About The Insurance