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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Very Green To This Neighborhood

| NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work at a live theatre in a small town, where most of our patrons are elderly and kind. One day, a young male customer comes through the front doors.)

Me: “Good afternoon, can I help you with something?”

Customer: “Yes! I just moved here, and I don’t know anyone. I have to ask you a question.”

Me: “Great, I’d be happy to help you.”

Customer: “I was walking by the theatre and thought that this might be the place to get help.”

Me: “Well, we’d be glad to help if we can. What’s your question?”

Customer: “I’m looking for marijuana.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Weed. Green.”

Me: “Yes, I understand…”

Customer: “Great! So, do you sell it here?”

Me: “No, sir, this is a real business. I can sell you tickets to a show, but we do not sell drugs.”

Customer: *annoyed* “Well, you’re no help! You people are useless! I guess I’ll just go ask some random person on the street since your ‘business’ can’t help me!”

(He angrily stormed out of the store. My colleague and I looked at each other, dumbfounded.)

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Punishments With Real Heart

| Gilbert, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am working at a store that specializes in making your own stuffed animal. I am helping a family with two sons, one age four and the other about ten. The younger brother is having a great time, and the older one is pretending he is only doing this for his brother. We get to the stuffing area where we do a “heart ceremony” where you pick out a heart for your animal and the ceremony is to give him characteristics you like and then rub the heart on your back so the bear always has your back. The younger brother is super excited, and the older brother has finally gotten on my nerves.)

Me: “All right, now, for the last part of the heart ceremony you need to shout, ‘I LOVE [COMPANY]!’”

Younger Brother: “I LOVE [COMPANY]!”

Older Brother: *mumbles incoherently*

Me: “I couldn’t hear that.”

Older Brother: *angry but louder* “I love [Company]!”

Me: “I still couldn’t hear you.”

Older Brother: “I don’t want to do this. This is stupid.”

Me: “This is the last part, so you need to do it right. If you don’t shout ‘I love [Company]’ then I am going to make you go to the front of the store and sing ‘I’m a little teapot.’”

Older Brother: *very loud* “I LOVE [COMPANY]!”

(For the rest of the time there, the older brother had a better attitude and even helped dress the younger brother’s stuffed animal. Though for the life of me, I can’t figure out how he thought I was actually going to make him sing “I’m a little teapot”.)

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Flood Of Lies

| UK | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers

(I am working on a specific out-of-hours phone line for house maintenance and repairs on Christmas Eve. It is about four pm and one of the last calls of the day. I have already let the customer know that calls are recorded.)

Customer: “There’s a pipe under my sink and if I touch the bolt it is going to leak.”

Me: “I’m afraid we only deal with uncontainable leaks during out of hours, sir.”

Customer: “But it’s going to leak if I touch it!”

Me: “Sir, if it is not already leaking I cannot send an engineer out to you. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “Erm, okay, then, it’s leaking now.”

Me: *following my script* “Okay, and is the leak currently containable?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I do apologise, sir, we only deal with uncontainable leaks during out of hours.”

Customer: “Then it IS uncontainable. My kitchen is flooding!”

Me: “Okay, I can get an engineer out to you but I would like to remind you that calls are recorded so you may be charged if this is not the case.”

(The caller hung up straight away.)