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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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When Sugary Doesn’t Mean Sweet

| Ross Township, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work for a global mega-corporation coffee shop. One of the summer promotional items is an insanely sugary blended drink, and it is the highest-selling promotional drink the company has ever had. As the summer is nearly over, however, we have run out of some of the ingredients to make it.)

Customer: “Hi, gimme a large [Summer Promo Beverage]! With extra dark caramel sauce and topping!”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, we’ve run out of that for the summer! Would you—”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “Yeah, unfortunately we just used the last of the product within the past couple of days.”

(She turns to my coworker.)

Customer: “YOU! It’s all YOUR FAULT!”

Coworker: “Me?! I didn’t do it!”

Customer: *to me* “Can I smack him? Is that allowed?”

Me: “It’s not his fault! Other customers drank it all. And no, you may not smack him.”

Customer: “No, it’s definitely his fault!”

Me: *sarcastically* “Yeah, I’m sure he sat there and drank all the dark caramel through a straw, just to make you mad.”

Customer: “HE PROBABLY DID!”

Coworker: “Hey, how about I make you a regular caramel [Blended Drink] and put a bunch of extra caramel in it? That’s pretty much all the [Promo Drink] is.”

Customer: “It’s not the same! But I guess it’ll have to do…”

(I ring her up for the drink and she continues to make comments, gradually getting louder and louder as she goes…)

Customer: “It’s not right! You guys shouldn’t be out of that drink. It’s all YOUR fault.”

Coworker: “It’s still not my fault!”

Customer: “Well, I’m blaming YOU for it. You guys should sell that all the time. Why would [Coffee Chain] stop selling such a popular drink? WHY WOULD [Coffee Chain] STOP SELLING SUCH A POPULAR DRINK? It shouldn’t just be a SUMMER drink; it should be available ALL the time! WHY WOULD [Coffee Chain] NOT WANT TO SELL IT ALL THE TIME? You know what? I’m going to file a complaint with the company! I’ll write to [Company CEO]! I’LL GO TO OBAMA HIMSELF!” *leaves with drink*

Me: “What the f*** is Obama going to do about her stupid [Promo Drink]?”

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Requires A Herculean Effort To Make Them Understand

| Richmond, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work at an automotive parts store, and we say the name of our store in the greeting when we answer phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What time is Hercules playing tonight?”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is [Store]. You have the wrong number.”

Customer: “I’d like to buy tickets to see Hercules.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. This is not the movie theater.”

Customer: “Why can’t you sell me tickets? What kind of movie theater is this? Can I speak to a manager?!”

(I put the customer on hold and tell my manager the story.)

Manager: *on the phone*  “Hercules is playing at eight pm tonight and we have two tickets here for you at the counter. Have a nice night.”

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 3

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a big box electronics chain. A woman walks in the store as I’m walking by the front. As I greet her, she asks for Tax Software, a software that assists in doing your own taxes.)

Me: “Absolutely! Right this way!” *leads her to [Tax Software]* “The programs are right here! Do you need Home or Business?”

Customer: *confused* “I need [Tax Software]…”

Me: “Yep! They are right here.” *picks up a couple options and shows them to here*

Customer: “No, no. I just lost my accountant and I need my taxes done.”

Me: “Sure thing! These are [Tax Software]. There is also a [Tax Company Software] option right here as well, if you want that one.”

Customer: “I need help with this!”

Me: “Oh, that won’t be a problem at all! With either of these options, they will give you step-by-step directions on how to file your taxes by just asking you a few questions!”

Customer: “You don’t understand. I need someone to come to my house and help me with this! I have these documents—” *she tries to hand me her taxes from last year*

Me: “Um… well… we can have our agents install the software on your computer for [total], but for your own safety and security, we won’t be able to actually use the software for you.”

Customer: “I was told to come to [Store] to do [Tax Software]! I was told that you would help me!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We have [Tax Software] right here, but unfortunately [Store] does not offer tax services. If you’re looking for someone to do your taxes for you, may I suggest [Tax Company]? I’m sure if you drive around you’ll see signs for them. They’re pretty much everywhere this time of year.”

Customer: “Can’t you come to my house and do it for me?”

Related:
Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2
Too Taxing For Them To Understand