Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Retire That Definition

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests

(Our store owner is well-known in the community and has just retired after owning the business for over 50 years. On his last day he had a huge send-off, which was featured in newspapers, TV, etc. A woman phones in a few days later.)

Customer: “Is [Owner] in today?”

Me: *cheerily* “Oh, actually, ma’am, [Owner] retired last week!

Customer: *annoyed sigh* “Well, yes, I KNOW he retired, but I want to know if he’s in the store right now!”

(I guess she and I had different interpretations of ‘retired’!)

That’s Your Parking Lot In Life

| Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(We have two towers in our hotel, with two separate sets of elevators. There are two parking garage levels on the far side of the hotel, in the west tower; the front desk is in the east tower.)

Lady: *rushing up, dragging her suitcase, breathless* “I’m really frustrated I can’t find your parking garage!”

Me: “Okay. When you parked, did you go UP a ramp or DOWN a ramp?”

Lady: “Neither. I went out the car wash exit and around the back.”

Me: “Okay, that’s our employee lot. Go back to that green sign behind you, take a left, go ALLLLL the way down that hallway, and there’s a door that says ‘Watch Your Step.’ Go through that door and you’ll be in the correct garage.”

Lady: “So I go to the end of the hallway, turn left and it’s there?”

Me: “No. Go to the green sign that says West Tower, has an arrow on it. Turn left. Follow that hallway all the way down — it kind of jags back there — and at the end, where the elevators are, is the door you need. Don’t go up the elevators; go through the door next to them.”

Lady: *stares at me for a second, confused* “Oh, okay.”

(She turns around and starts walking. She passes the green sign.)

Me: “Ma’am? Ma’am! Left! TURN LEFT!”

(She reaches the end of the lobby and turns down the wrong hallway. A few moments later I see a coworker escorting her back through the lobby while she is berating him. Later…)

Coworker: “That lady was so rude.”

Me: “Yeah, she didn’t really follow directions too well.”

Coworker: *nonplussed* “She told me I should build easier parking lots.”

Me: “Because you’re clearly the person responsible for how our parking lot is configured.”

(My coworker is 17, and looks it.)

They’re On Your Coat Tails

| England, UK | Crazy Requests

(Please note that our store has no computer system to check if we have an item in stock and the only way to do so is to look round the store. Whilst the items have codes they do not help us unless we have the item in front of us to check it is the right one. During a busy period I answer the phone.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Store]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help?”

Caller: “Hello, I was wondering if you could look for an item for me?”

Me: “Of course, could you describe the item for me?”

Caller: “It’s a grey coat.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll have a look and see what coats we have. Could you give any more details about it? Is it [Store Brand] or [Other Brand]?”

Caller: “It’s definitely [Store Brand]; I can give you the code, if that helps?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll have a look. I’m afraid the code won’t help unless I have an item in front of me because we have no computer system.”

Caller: “Well, do you want the code?”

Me: “No, the code won’t actually help me just yet. I’m just looking to see what we have; can you tell me anything more about the item?”

Caller: *starting to sound annoyed* “It’s mid-grey. Look, can’t I just give you the code or something? It would be much quicker!”

(I have now been looking through all our Store Brand coats and have found nothing to match the description, so just in case she was mistaken I look at the Other Brand coats.)

Me: “Like I said earlier, I am unable to look up the code for the item so it really wouldn’t help me right now. Sorry.”

Caller: “For god’s sake, can’t you just find the d*** thing?! I’m reading out the code now!” *reads code*

(I have now been on the phone to her for about 15 minutes and still find nothing.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I’m unable to find anything that matches the description you gave me. I don’t think we have the item in stock.”

Caller: “I know you do; I’ll just give you the code again.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t find anything anywhere. Either you can try and describe the item further or you could contact another store or look online. I’m sorry; we don’t have it.”

Caller: *sounding very annoyed* “Fine. I’ll just find it somewhere else. Bye.”

Me: “Goodbye, thank you for calling. Sorry I couldn’t be more help.”

Caller: “Whatever.” *hangs up*

(Later on my supervisor answered the phone from the manager of a nearby store. Apparently the woman had phoned them to complain about me and try to get me fired, claiming that I was rude and didn’t even look for the item. It turned out that the coat was a brand that we don’t even carry, so naturally we didn’t have any. My supervisor and all my other colleagues had seen me running backwards and forwards looking for the coat and so knew there was no truth to her complaint. In fact, my supervisor even bought me a pack of biscuits for my trouble and politeness to the woman.)

The Problem Is A Few Sizes Bigger Than It Should Be

| NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a clothing store where ALL our merchandise is special order – meaning we sell nothing off the rack. We cater almost exclusively to women’s formal wear for weddings.)

Me: *answers phone* “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Um, hi. So, I ordered a bridesmaid’s dress from you guys, and I need a new dress.”

Me: “A new dress? Is something wrong with this one?”

Caller: “It doesn’t fit.”

Me: “Okay, well, when’s the wedding?”

Caller: “September 27th.”

(This all happens during the first week of September.)

Me: “Ah. Well…”

Caller: “Do you think I’ll be okay with the timing and everything?”

Me: “Let me do a mock order and check. *types info into the order system* “Ok, well… It looks like if you ordered the dress today, it wouldn’t even be shipped until the 26th.”

Caller: “What about with rush?”

Me: “That IS with the rush. And even if you paid for the overnight shipping, it wouldn’t get into the store until the 28th or 29th.”

Caller: “But that’s after the wedding!”

Me: “I understand that. There isn’t sufficient time to get your alterations done with us, but maybe if you take it to a tailor they can let it out a size or so.”

Caller: “I need it let out more than a size. I’m telling you, I need a whole new dress.”

Me: *suspecting something isn’t quite right here* “Let me check your file, see if there’s something there that can help. If not, I’ll get one of my managers to help you.” *I scan through caller’s account with us until I find what I already suspected would be there* “Okay, [Caller]?”

Caller: “Yes?”

Me: “When you ordered the dress back in March, do you remember what size you were measured for?”

Caller: “Not specifically.”

Me: “According to our records, you were measured at a 20W.”

Caller: “That sounds right.”

Me: “It also says you declined to order that size. Do you remember what size you ordered?”

Caller: “The dress I picked up was a 12.”

Me: “That’s because you ordered a 12.”

Caller: “And it’s way too small! I need a new dress!”

Me: “Okay, [Caller]. Given the circumstances, I’m afraid there isn’t much we can do. There just isn’t enough time, and frankly, you chose to order a size significantly smaller than what you were measured for.”

Caller: *unintelligible crying and screaming*

Me: “I understand you’re upset and frustrated. However, there really isn’t much we can do for you. I’ll still leave your name for our store manager and have her give you a call, okay?”

Caller: *sniffles and mumbles a goodbye before hanging up*

Me: *to coworker who heard my half of the conversation* “You just can’t make this stuff up.”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 23

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’ve just gotten off work. I head over to the mall to shop a bit before going home. I go to a national coffee chain and order a drink. While waiting for it, someone walks up to me. Note: I’m still in my uniform, which is red, and my name tag, with the logo of the company I work for.)

Customer: “Excuse me, shouldn’t you be making drinks?! It’s busy!”

Me: “Uhm… excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me! Get off your lazy a** and go back behind the counter!”

Me: “I… ma’am, I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Oh, now you’re making s*** up! Get your manager!”

Me: “Ma’am, I work at [Store].”

Customer: “No, you work here!”

(One of the actual employees hears her yelling and comes over.)

Employee: “Ma’am, she doesn’t work here. If she did, she’d be wearing a shirt like mine. And her name tag would say [Store], not [Name].”

Customer: “Well!” *takes her drink and storms off*

(The employee and I look at each other.)

Employee: “So… extra shot of espresso?”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 22
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 21
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20

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