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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Will Get The Occasional Hack

| Scranton, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Ya, my a**-hole neighbor hacked into your cable and is watching me!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir? Did you say he hacked our cable and is watching you?”

Customer: “Ya, that’s right! I heard him over there telling all his friends he hacked my cable box and can see me. I want you to put a block on him!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, but I can assure you that’s not possible.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! I saw it on the news last week!”

Me: “Is it possible he knew you were listening and he is messing with you?”

Customer: “NO! You know it can happen and it happened to me! Are you stupid? I’m being watched and you don’t even care. They hacked into my cable box and they are watching me through the green light on the box. Shut his service off NOW!”

Me: “Sir, If you feel your life is in danger or you’re being talked about maybe you should call the police.”

Customer: “Ya, I’ll call the police now. I’m also going to report your company and they are going to shut you down!”

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, sir?”

Customer: “NO!” *hangs up*

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Obituary Required For Common Sense

| Perth, WA, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work in online death notices. As we’re based in Australia, it’s worth noting from the outset that the caller had a Canadian accent.)

Caller: “Yeah, hi. I’m listed on your site, but I’m not dead.”

Me: “Oh no! Let me check this out for you. What name was it?”

Caller: “[Name].”

Me: “Yes, I see the listing. Just let me check something.”

(We do sometimes get incorrect notices for people who are alive, mostly imported from old archive records.)

Me: “This is strange; the listing was posted yesterday from [Funeral Home].”

Caller: “Well, it needs to come down.”

Me: “Where are you calling from, by the way?”

Caller: “[City] in Canada.”

Me: “Okay, well, this listing is for a [Name] from [Suburb of Sydney], so it’s not you.”

Caller: “But it’s my name!”

Me: “Yes, but this person had the same name.”

Caller: “People are going to Google me and think I’m dead. I’m applying for jobs, and I’m not going to get hired if people think I’m dead.”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t remove the listing as the family of the deceased has requested it be online.”

Caller: “Can you change the name on the listing?”

Me: “No, if I did that the people who were looking for this person’s listing would not be able to find it.”

Caller: “I need a contact number for a family member for this guy. He must have had a nickname or something they can use.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t give you that information. There’s nothing I can really do for you here. I’m sure any potential employer will understand you’re not dead.”

Caller: “I just don’t understand why my name is even there.”

Me: “It’s very rare for a name to be completely unique. If you keep Googling you’ll probably find a lot of people with your name.”

Caller: “Well, make it stop!”

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Cannot Register The Rules Of The Registry

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A woman comes up to the guest service counter and asks if I can take an item she wants to purchase off a gift registry. I tell her that shouldn’t be a problem and begin the transaction, but notice that the vacuum she is purchasing isn’t the one listed on the registry.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this isn’t the right vacuum.”

Guest: “Oh, I know. But the one on the registry is a piece of crap, so I’m buying her this one instead.”

Me: “Ah, I see. Well, I can give you a gift receipt, but since it’s not the same one, I can’t take it off the registry.”

(The guest is already becoming visibly irritated.)

Guest: “Well, why not? I said I’m getting her this one so she won’t need that piece of crap. The one she wanted is a piece of crap and this one’s better!”

Me: “That may be, but since this is not your registry, it’s not your decision. I cannot take an item off of someone else’s registry just because you think they shouldn’t be asking for it. I’ll get you a gift receipt and she can make her own decision about which one she wants to keep, but that’s all I can do for you.”

(She stood there for several more seconds, clearly not understanding why I couldn’t just delete items from someone else’s registry, but eventually paid for the vacuum, snatched the gift receipt out of my hand, and stormed off, bitching to her husband the whole time.)