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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Requires A Herculean Effort To Make Them Understand

| Richmond, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I work at an automotive parts store, and we say the name of our store in the greeting when we answer phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What time is Hercules playing tonight?”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is [Store]. You have the wrong number.”

Customer: “I’d like to buy tickets to see Hercules.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. This is not the movie theater.”

Customer: “Why can’t you sell me tickets? What kind of movie theater is this? Can I speak to a manager?!”

(I put the customer on hold and tell my manager the story.)

Manager: *on the phone*  “Hercules is playing at eight pm tonight and we have two tickets here for you at the counter. Have a nice night.”

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 3

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work at a big box electronics chain. A woman walks in the store as I’m walking by the front. As I greet her, she asks for Tax Software, a software that assists in doing your own taxes.)

Me: “Absolutely! Right this way!” *leads her to [Tax Software]* “The programs are right here! Do you need Home or Business?”

Customer: *confused* “I need [Tax Software]…”

Me: “Yep! They are right here.” *picks up a couple options and shows them to here*

Customer: “No, no. I just lost my accountant and I need my taxes done.”

Me: “Sure thing! These are [Tax Software]. There is also a [Tax Company Software] option right here as well, if you want that one.”

Customer: “I need help with this!”

Me: “Oh, that won’t be a problem at all! With either of these options, they will give you step-by-step directions on how to file your taxes by just asking you a few questions!”

Customer: “You don’t understand. I need someone to come to my house and help me with this! I have these documents—” *she tries to hand me her taxes from last year*

Me: “Um… well… we can have our agents install the software on your computer for [total], but for your own safety and security, we won’t be able to actually use the software for you.”

Customer: “I was told to come to [Store] to do [Tax Software]! I was told that you would help me!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We have [Tax Software] right here, but unfortunately [Store] does not offer tax services. If you’re looking for someone to do your taxes for you, may I suggest [Tax Company]? I’m sure if you drive around you’ll see signs for them. They’re pretty much everywhere this time of year.”

Customer: “Can’t you come to my house and do it for me?”

Related:
Too Taxing For Them To Understand, Part 2
Too Taxing For Them To Understand

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Throw Your Claws In The Air Like You Just Don’t Care

| Shrewsbury, England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A very softly spoken and serious middle-aged man approaches me.)

Customer: “Hello, do you have any stickers featuring aquatic life?”

Me: “Umm… we have some of those 3D gel stickers for windows. One set is a sea-themed one.”

Customer: “Excellent. Do they have any crustaceans?”

Me: “Uh, I’m pretty sure there’s a crab sticker in that pack.”

Customer: “And what position is the crab in?”

Me: “I… err… a common crab position, I believe? With its claws in the air?”

Customer: “Okay. Could you please direct me to these stickers?”

(I did. He bought them. He seemed pleased enough.)