Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Not How Diabetes Works But Okay

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(We’ve been instructed to ask for customer feedback while checking customers out in the form of a questionnaire. Most is multiple choice with a comments section at the bottom. The line has died down when the receptionist, looking rather disgruntled, turns to us and reads out the feedback from their last customer.)

Comment: “Too helpful! Too nice! Tried having a chat with me and it was just abhorrent! Even her hello was so sweet it gave me diabetes.”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry we can’t all be as sour as gone-off bottle of milk!”

Can’t See Your Point

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I normally wear contact lenses, but my optometrist had trouble ordering them so I’m wearing my glasses today. A regular customer approaches me. She’s usually a bit of a handful but never anything crazy.)

Me: “How are you?”

Customer: “You have glasses. Why?”

Me: “There was an issue with my doctor’s office so I’m wearing my glasses until it gets fixed.”

Customer: “I don’t like it. Take them off.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t see without them so I can’t take them off.”

Customer: *huffs* “Well… I don’t like you anymore!”

Returner Burner, Part 5

| Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a busy baby store where people always return nearly their entire purchases two weeks later.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I want to return these items.”

Me: “No problem. Do you have your receipt with you?”

Customer: “Yeah, here.”

(The customer hands me the receipt. I notice she is returning everything she purchased, at least 10 items, except a $5 t-shirt.)

Me: “Okay, so it will be [total] going back onto your card today?”

(The total was $5 less than the total she paid as she wasn’t returning the t-shirt.)

Customer: “What!? That isn’t right. I paid [total stated on receipt]. Why aren’t I getting all of it back. I should get all of it back!”

Me: “Um, madam—”

Customer: “See I will show you my bank statement”

Me: “Madam, the reason why you—”

(Before I can finish my sentence she starts shoving her phone in my face with her bank history on it.)

Customer: “See?! [Store] on the first of September, [total] was taken out of my account! Now give me that total back!”

(I begin to get annoyed so I raise my voice.)

Me: “I cannot return that total amount to you as you are not returning everything you purchased. You are not returning the t-shirt, is that correct?”

Customer: “Obviously.”

Me: “Therefore you will be getting the total amount back minus the cost of the t-shirt.”

Customer: “Well, you didn’t tell me that I wasn’t returning everything!”

(I completed the return just shaking my head. So did the customer waiting behind her.)

Related:
Returner Burner, Part 4
Returner Burner, Part 3
Returner Burner, Part 2

There’s Madness In The Methodist

, | Durham, NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money, Religion

(I’m working a pumpkin sale at our church. All proceeds go to “mission work,” which is hunger relief in town and in Haiti, providing poor students at local schools with needed supplies, and Habitat for Humanity. We sell about two tractor trailer loads a season at slightly higher than regular retail, and do a lot of good work with the proceeds.)

Customer: “You’ve got such great pumpkins here!”

Me: “Thank you, we’re proud of our patch. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Well, I like to make brandy out of pumpkins, so I’d like you to give me a discount on a big batch.”

Me: “Let me get this straight: you’re at a charity pumpkin sale at a church, and you’d like a moonshiner’s discount?”

Customer: *leaves in embarrassed silence*

Please Leave A Message After The Snappy Tone

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Time

(My dad is the pharmacy manager and is bringing me in to job shadow him and his coworkers. My dad is well-known and well liked among most of his customers and has never shown anyone disrespect before, being an easy-going and reasonable man. He’s in the middle of unlocking the pharmacy as it is ten minutes before opening, and already there is someone at the drive-thru.)

Customer: *immediately as the technician turns on the speaker* “Why aren’t you guys answering your d*** phone?!”

Technician: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we only just opened. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “You can get me my prescription. How dare you keep me waiting any longer than I already have?!” *note that she only just got here, as have we*

Technician: “All right, ma’am. Just one moment.”

(The technician takes her information before turning around and give me a knowing exaggerated look. I resist giving the customer the finger as she huffs and turns to her daughter in the passenger seat who rolls her eyes as the technician talks to my dad. My dad comes over to speak with her and give her her medicine.)

Dad: “I’m really sorry for the wait, ma’am, but we haven’t opened the pharmacy yet. Here is your prescription.”

Customer: “You WOULD’VE known I was coming if you just answered your d*** phone!”

Dad: *with high level of patience and positivity that I can only ever hope to achieve* “I’m sorry ma’am, but again, we have only just started opening the pharmacy. There was no one here to answer the phone until two minutes ago. I hope you have a good day.”

Customer: “Don’t get snappy with me! You should always answer the phone!” *drives off*

Dad: *shrugs at me* “She’s not a regular. She probably doesn’t know our hours.”

(Everyone got back to work and the rest of the day went on pretty peacefully. It was only later that my dad checked the phone and found thirteen unheard messages, from 2:43 am, 3:11 am, 4:13 am, etc. All of them had no actual messages and were silent. Three guesses who they were all from and the first two don’t count.)

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