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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Give Them 17 Inches, They’ll Take A Mile

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(A lady comes in wearing a freshly pressed business suit, glances at the laptop computer displays, sighs loudly, and marches up to me.)

Customer: “Where are your 17-inch laptops?”

Me: “I’m sold out at the moment.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “I usually carry them. A few different models, in fact. But I’m sold out right now.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

Me: “Seriously. I usually have them, just not right now. We’re in the middle of replacing some older models with newer ones. We sold out of the old ones early last week. We had four of the new models come in late last week, but those sold out as well. We’re expecting more tomorrow.”

Customer: “Ha! You think you can fool me? Don’t play games. WHERE are your 17-inch laptops?!”

Me: “On a truck. It’s probably just leaving the warehouse in California where our shipments come from.”

Customer: “Listen, you. I don’t know what kind of trick you’re trying to pull. All I want to know is WHERE your 17-inch laptops are, and you’re giving me the run-around. Either you have them, or you don’t. Don’t give me these lines about ‘just not right now.’ Now tell me truthfully: Where! Are! They?”

Me: *deadpan* “On a truck. In California. They’ll be here tomorrow.”

Customer: *huffs* “Oh! I don’t believe this. I’m leaving. If I come back next week and you don’t have those 17-inch laptops, I’ll have your job!”

(She stomped away, which looked very uncomfortable in high heels.)

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Their Services Days Are Numbered, Part 2

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a well known auto insurance company helping customers update their policies over the phone. We get a lot of customers that let their policy cancel and call in to restart it, usually at a higher price.)

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know why my policy cancelled and you didn’t notify me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, let me take a look. It looks like we mailed out a notice on [date] that it would cancel on [future date].”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get it. You didn’t notify me.”

Me: “We did our best to notify you, sir.”

Customer: “Did you try to call me?”

Me: “We have [phone number]. Is that right?”

Customer: “No!” *getting noticeably angrier* “I have a new number, it is—”

Me: “Just to make sure everything else is up to date; we also have your address as [address].”

Customer: “No! You don’t have my new address? How come you don’t have my new address?!”

Me: “I apologize, sir; it is up to you to notify us of any change. Otherwise we don’t know.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t feel like I should be penalized since you guys didn’t have my correct address.”

(After multiple attempts to logically explain that we do not have any way of knowing you moved unless you tell us or update it online — we have one of the top rated user friendly insurance sites, which, by the way, you can also make payment on — I gave up and let him continue to rant for several more minutes as I restarted his policy.)

Related:
Their Services Days Are Numbered

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Can’t Ever Get The Delivery Right

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Popular

(A customer calls in about a change in her order delivery date. The call comes in on a Tuesday.)

Customer: “When I placed my order it told me my order would be delivered on Friday but I just got an email saying it would now be delivered on Wednesday.”

Me: *confused at the problem* “Ma’am, I’m sorry about the confusion but sometimes our shipping carriers are able to deliver packages sooner than expected and we notify you to let you know.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You guys lied to me and this is very unethical.”

Me: “Ma’am, again I apologize about the change in delivery on this order. Is there a reason that you wanted the delivery on Friday versus receiving it earlier?”

Customer: “You’re missing the f****** point here, you idiot. You told me Friday and now you’re telling me Wednesday. What the hell kind of company are you running here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am missing the point here and I apologize. Your original email stated the Friday was an estimated delivery date. That was not a guaranteed delivery day and we were actually able to get the order to you two days earlier than previously thought.”

Customer: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Clearly you are an uneducated high school dropout who doesn’t know your ass from a hole in the ground.”

Me: “Well, I can certainly call the carrier and place a temp hold on this delivery but you would then have to pick it up from their FC on Friday since you don’t want it early.”

Customer: “You idiot, I do want it early. You are missing my point. You guys lied to me and are an unethical company.”

(I am waiting on the whole “give me” part of her speech to come in at any point and BAM there it is.)

Customer: “I demand a full refund for my order for this.”

Me: “Well, you are certainly entitled to a refund within 30 days of delivery. You can refuse the delivery on Wednesday and once we receive the order back you will be automatically refunded, or once you receive your order you can create a return online or by calling us back. But you would have to pay a return shipping fee.”

Customer: “Why would I refuse it or send it back? I want my order but you’re going to refund me for all my troubles.”

Me: “Ma’am, we aren’t able to refund you for an order that you don’t return.”

Customer: “Well, then, I guess I’m just going to call and dispute the charge with my bank.”

Me: “Ma’am, you certainly have that right but at this point I have already forwarded this call information to our internal investigations team and we will provide your bank with the full recording of this call once we receive the charge back inquiry from them.”

(She then hung up. She then called back in 29 more times that day to try and get me fired. We then redirected the order back to us, issued a refund, and blocked her account, address, CC #, phone #, and IP address from being able to order from our system in the future and she is now banned from our site.)