Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Refunder Blunder, Part 25

| Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

Customer: “I bought this flash drive a few months ago and it doesn’t work in my computer!”

(The customer had the receipt and the packaging for it still, so I decided to give her store credit.)

Me: “Okay, I can return it for you, but since it’s over our return policy, I can only give you store credit.”

Customer: “That’s fine; I’m going to get a new one anyway.”

Me: “Okay, great.”

(I start the return on the defective flash drive and then go to put it in its respective cupboard.)

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Um, I’m putting it in the defective items cupboard.”

Customer: “No, I’ll need that back.”

Me: “But I’m giving you store credit for it.”

Customer: “Yes and I’m going to buy a new flash drive with it, but I need that back.”

Me: “I can’t give you money for it if you’re keeping it.”

Customer: “But it doesn’t work!”

Me: “Then why do you want it?”

Customer: “Because it works on my work computer!”

Me: “Oh… that’s strange.”

Customer: “Well, I can’t let you take it.”

Me: “Then I can’t give you store credit for it.”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 24
Refunder Blunder, Part 23
Refunder Blunder, Part 22

Couldn’t Be Fur-thur From What She Wanted

| Natick, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

(A frazzled and cold lady comes in late at night looking for a fox fur coat. I work in lingerie so I’m not extremely familiar with furs, but am excited at the potential commission earnings. I read the ticket on a beautiful jacket and it’s 100% fox. I show my customer.)

Customer: *screaming* “THIS IS NOT FOX FUR”

Me: “No, ma’am, it is indeed entirely fox.”

(I assume maybe she doesn’t like the style so I show her another fox jacket.)

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! THIS IS NOT FOX FUR! I NEED SOMEONE WITH EXPERIENCE!”

(I turned her over to a coworker in the fur salon thinking maybe I didn’t know as much as I thought. After some bickering back and forth I saw her cashing out and purchasing a beautiful coat. I asked the salesperson who took over what she ended up with. Apparently the customer wanted FAUX fur but was pronouncing it wrong the entire time.)

Time To Go On Law-Break

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I am working the opening of a new store. Florida law requires all employees under 18 have an unpaid thirty minute break every four consecutive hours they work. Because it is the opening week a lot of employees are working so they can be trained, which means somebody is on break almost all the time. At one point a guest flags me down to complain.)

Customer: “I’ve been standing here forever! And all these kids are just sitting out here ignoring me!”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. They are on break.”

Customer: “Well, I still don’t see why they couldn’t help me! They’re just lazy!”

Me: “Ma’am… they are on break. Florida state law requires them to have an uninterrupted break.”

Customer: “It wouldn’t have been hard for them to help me. Kids are just so lazy these days!”

Me: “Ma’am. Unless you want to pay the fines we could incur for them causing us to break the law for helping YOU they aren’t going to help you. But I can.”

Customer: “Well. You don’t have to be rude about it. Now, I need some ketchup!”

Me: “You’re standing right next to it…”

This Is Beeping Bad Service

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work for a popular clothing retail company. Our register area has sensors on them that beep constantly when an item is near it that still has a security tag attached. While annoying, it pales in comparison to the non-stop comments from other customers.)

Customer: “What is that sound?”

Coworker: *explains what the beeping is*

Customer: *suddenly upset* “That’s so insensitive to the customer! We shouldn’t have to listen to that! It’s horrible customer service!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, the beeping keeps us from forgetting to take any sensors off. I know it can be annoying, but it’s so we can provide the best customer service for you.”

Customer: “No, it’s bad customer service! I demand you turn it off now!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry. We can’t do that. There’s no switch to turn it off.”

Customer: “Then break it!”

(We refused to do that as well. The customer paid and walked out in a huff, promising to never shop with us again. I sure hope she’s a woman of her word.)

The Biggest Pest Isn’t The Wasp

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I use to work as an admin for a pest company. The techs make their own schedules with monthly visits to customers and fit in people that have called for re-treatments. Usually when people call in asking for an extra service I can get them to wait a day or two to help the techs.)

Me: “[Company], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a wasp in my screen porch!”

Me: “Oh, dear! Well, to help your tech, do you know where the nest might be in your porch?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay. Have you seen them flying in a certain direction?”

Customer: “No. It’s just one that got inside. Can you just send the tech now to kill it!”

Me: “Wait, you want me to have the tech go off route now to kill one wasp?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Have you seen a lot of activity outside?”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Let me see what I can do.”

(I put her on hold and tap my fingers for a few moments and have a snack. It’s our busy season and that route is our largest and busiest with only one tech near it. I wasn’t about to call him for one wasp.)

Me: “Thanks for holding. I called the tech and he won’t be able to fit you in today. I could put in a request for tomorrow.”

Customer: “What?! I pay you guys good money to take care of pests! What am I supposed to do about this wasp?”

Me: “Hit it with a rolled up magazine.”

Customer: “What?! How dare you! I want my tech to call me!”

Me: “I can do that. Have a nice day.”

(I send a message for the tech to call her. Two hours later he ran in for supplies.)

Tech: “What the h*** was that all about?! She wanted me to go kill one wasp!”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I told her to hit it with a magazine.”

Tech: “So did I! I’m not going 20 minutes off route to spray one wasp! I’m lucky I found the time to pick up more chemicals!”

(Seriously, yeah, you are paying us, but so are tons of other people. Grow up and slap it with a newspaper. Sadly, that was not the first or last call I got like that. One involved a dead hamster under the stove. Another was a frog… in their yard.)

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