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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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69 Cents? Oh, The Humanity!

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests

(After working as a manager for a popular party store for many years, I have heard it all when it comes to balloons. My two favorites thus far are:)

Customer: “How much is it to have my balloons inflated?”

Me: “69 cents a balloon.”

Customer: “That is way too much money for something that is free in the air. When I blow up balloons at my house, with my mouth, it is free.”

Me: “You can do that, certainly, but helium allows them to float. If you blow them up with your air, they will not float. You can still attach them with tape or allow them to sit on the floor during your event.”

Customer: “Ridiculous. When I blow them up with my mouth they have always floated. See—” *points to the package* “—it says helium balloons right here, which means they will float if I blow them up with my mouth, just like I do all the time.”

Other Manager: *who has overheard* “Ma’am, if you can blow up balloons with your mouth, and they float, you need to work here immediately. You would save us so much on helium costs.”

(And:)

Customer: “How much is it to inflate my balloons?”

Me: “69 cents a balloon.”

Customer: “Oh. I have one of those tanks that attaches to my grill at the house. Can I use that to inflate these instead?”

Me: “You can not use propane to inflate these balloons, ma’am. I am sorry…”

Customer: “Why? The tank looks similar to those.” *points to smaller disposable helium tank*

Me: “It is very dangerous to fill balloons with a flammable gas, ma’am. Helium is not flammable, and is safe for balloon usage. Propane can cause an explosion to occur.”

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Getting Your Wedding Just Desserts

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Bakery], may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, how many pieces are in [expensive item]?”

Me: “[Amount] for a full case.”

Customer: “How many flavors?”

Me: “[Amount] of flavors.”

Customer: “And how much is a full case?”

Me: “A full case is [case amount].”

Customer: “Perfect! Can you ship me four sample cases?”

Me: “Four full cases of [expensive item]?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “But I want them for my wedding!”

Me: “And I do appreciate that. You may purchase four cases at [price per case plus shipping].”

Customer: “But shipping is free, right?”

Me: “No. Based on your address your shipping would be approximately [amount].”

Customer: “WHAT?! That’s outrageous! I’ll only buy them if you offer free shipping for that price!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we do not offer free shipping. All of our items ship frozen. We need to ship via freezer truck or in the case of small orders such as yours, package them with dry ice and overnight them with FedEx. We cannot offer free shipping.”

Customer: “But it’s for my WEDDING!”

Me: “I understand that, but we cannot meet your request.”

Customer: “I really want these!”

Me: “I’m very happy to hear that; however, they are [amount] per case plus shipping.”

Customer: “Fine! I guess I won’t have them! At my WEDDING!” *practically screams into the phone*

Me: “Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.”  *click*

Office Manager: “Someone trying to get free wedding desserts?”

Me: “Yes.”

Office Manager: “So, how many does that make this week?”

Me: “Seven…”

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Displaying Your Stupidity

| Hollywood, CA, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work as a food stand attendant. The day has been a hot one, so we’ve been selling out of drinks. We offer two kinds of bottled water but are currently out of [Cheaper Brand], so I’ve taken it off the drink display. However, it’s still on the sign that indicates prices. The next guest in line steps up.)

Guest: “I’d like a bottle of water.”

(Keep in mind that everyone else before her has been buying the remaining brand of water the whole time, so I just assume that this is what she wants.)

Me: “Sure, it’ll be four dollars.”

Guest: *irritated* “But it says three dollars on your sign.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. That’s actually the price for [Cheaper Brand], which we ran out of. Right now we only have the four dollar bottle.”

Guest: “Well, how was I supposed to know that you were out of it if you didn’t have it on display?!”

Me: *speechless for a second* “Um… so you want me to put it on display even though we don’t have it…?”

Guest: *seems to realize how illogical she sounded and stomps off without her drink*

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Talking Udder Nonsense

| UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(A frosty customer comes in, and asks for the dairy-free brochure. I oblige and talk her through some of our more popular dairy-free dishes, sorted by meat. It’s late in the day and I’m not feeling my best; needless to say, I let myself slip a bit.)

Me: “This [beef dish] here is dairy free.”

Customer: “How can it be?”

Me: “Because it doesn’t contain any dairy products.”

Customer: “But beef is cows and cows are dairy, so how can you possibly claim that?!”

Me: “Well, as it’s beef, it is indeed cows, but it doesn’t have any milk products.”

Customer: “But all cows are dairy!”

Me: *accidentally saying with a sarcastic tone* “Only the female ones, madam.”

(At this point I think that the lady is going to have a go at me; her face is creased and her brows are furrowed. I realise instantly that I’ve said something without thinking. Suddenly her face brightens.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay, then; I just didn’t want any dairy.”

(She grabbed the meal and rushed to the till. Phew! I escaped that one!)

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Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 3

, | Boise, ID, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a call center for a bank that finances credit cards for several companies: anything from jewelry to gasoline. We handle both consumer and business cards. The craziest call I ever get is from a business account for office supplies.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; my name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my name is [Customer] and I am authorized by [Accounts Payable] to pay $140.”

(I verify them as authorized on the account. The balance is over $800.)

Me: “I can certainly run that payment for you, but that amount will not postpone further collections activity. The balance is [amount #1] and is five months past due. We need a payment of [amount #2] to prevent the account going to third party collections.”

Customer: “I don’t think you understand; I will only pay you $140. If I make this payment, you have to forgive the rest of the debt. I WILL NOT pay you any more, and you WILL NOT charge me any more late fees.”

Me: “I can’t do that. This is a balance that has been accrued on this credit card. It needs to be paid in full or at least paid on time to prevent further fees.”

(Customer ranted on and on about how it wasn’t fair of us to charge him and that he would speak with accounts payable. Then he hung up.)

Related:
Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 2
Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

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