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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Reading Between The Coloring Lines

| Canada | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(Adult colouring books are a huge deal at my store, with two drive-aisles dedicated to the stuff. I am working the floor when a young man in his mid-twenties comes in with a girl who could be his girlfriend, sister, or friend. He kind of has a frat-boy look about him, and the girl is dressed semi-professionally. They come up to me, the girl with an amused expression and the guy really excited.)

Male Customer: “So, you guys sell adult coloring books, right?”

Me: “Yeah, we do, right over here.”

Male Customer: *just slightly lowers his voice, kind of stage whisper style* “So, you have, like, those [East] Indian type colouring books?”

Female Customer: *starts blushing a bit*

Me: “Oh, yeah, we have Mandala and Paisley themed colouring books. Some kind of look like henna designs, as well.”

Male Customer: “No, I mean, like, the sex book. The Kama Sutra, except for colouring in.”

Female Customer: *starts laughing a bit because she knows how ridiculous that sounds*

Me: “Uh, no, sir, we don’t. We have kids’ crafts in here so we don’t have anything more explicit like that. Maybe try [Bookstore that also sells colouring books as well as having a more “adult” section]?”

Male Customer: “Oh, yeah, sure. No problem. I get it!”

Female Customer: *keeps laughing*

(A bit later, I am on backup for cashiering, as it is busy. The couple come up, and the male customer has five books and a giant set of pencil crayons.)

Me: “Yeah, these adult colouring books are quite popular.”

Male Customer: “Yeah, I love them! It’s great for when I’m smoking pot but also wanting to do something with my hands, you know?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, I bet! They’re super relaxing!”

Female Customer: *laughing but is also getting a bit embarrassed*

(Everything went smoothly and the couple left, the guy super stoked for his colouring books, the girl half hiding her face. The lady behind them came up, and we both looked at each other in amusement. We’re in British Columbia, so pot is definitely a thing here, but never so public as that!)

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Redo This Coupon, Sharp(ie)!

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests

(The customer is an elderly woman. After ringing up her 30 items, I hand her her receipt and one of our coupons, which are valid for the five days after the purchase. She has been pretty nice up to this point, but now her face is scrunched up in anger.)

Elderly Customer: “These dates don’t work for me! Change them!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have the power to do that.”

Elderly Customer: “Just Sharpie them in!”

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Wants Their Complaint On A Plate

, | WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(There is a power outage in the middle of the day. For some unknown reason, we are always one of the few with power, which means the whole city comes over to hang out since we have books and coffee. Of course, this means we have lines and lines of people anxious for the warmth of coffee and food.)

Coworker: “Next in line, please!”

Customer: “I would like a caramel macchiato and a spinach and artichoke quiche.”

Coworker: “All right, that adds to $10.12, please! And your food and drink will be right at the end.”

(We switch off who is doing what since it is so busy and I am making the drinks. After a little while we have her food and drink ready to go.)

Me: “Okay, I have spinach and artichoke quiche and a caramel macchiato!”

(Customer looks at her order clearly not satisfied.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “I wanted to eat this here.”

Coworker: “We’ve been really busy because we’re one of the few businesses not without power, so we ran out of plates. You can still eat it here if you would like.”

Customer: *clearly still not satisfied* “If I want this on a plate, I should be able to get this on a plate. Who is the manager tonight?”

Coworker: *says our manager’s name* “Would you like to speak to her?”

(Somehow my coworker still has a smile on her face even with how much we’ve had to do all night. I don’t know how she does it. The customer grunts, takes the bag and drink and walks away. Later that night, as my manager and coworker are getting ready to close, nearly having to kick people out in the process…)

Customer: “Are you [Manager]?”

Manager: “Yes, I am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I have a complaint to make. You need to fix the behaviors of your employees. If a customer asks for a plate, they deserve to get a plate.”

Manager: “Well, would you rather eat on a dirty plate or in a nice, clean bag?”

Customer: *looks appalled* “Why would you give me such an attitude?”

Manager: “Sorry, but it’s now 10. We are closing up and you have to leave.”

Customer: “Whatever!” *slowly walks away*

Manager: *with a smile* “Have a good night!”

(Apparently this customer does this a lot. She always has a complaint to make about our business, yet she always comes back. We also had a customer stand up to this rude lady customer and tell our manager that we gave excellent service, especially for it being so busy in the middle of a power outage. Mind you, we had actually forgotten her food because of all the chaos, so that part restored my faith in humanity!)

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Refunder Blunder, Part 23

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Time

(I am the manager in this situation.)

Manager: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I left an item here by mistake after paying for it.”

Manager: “Oh, that’s very easy to do when you’re busy; don’t worry! We hold onto lost & found items for about a week. What was the item?”

Customer: “It’s this.” *shows me a product she’s picked up from a shelf – shaving gel worth £3* “I called up the next day to tell you I’d left it.”

Manager: “That’s strange, none of my team told me to expect you… Who did you speak to? And can you tell me which day you called? That’ll help me find it.”

Customer: “I called at the start of May.”

(It is now mid-August.)

Manager: “You left something here in early May and are just coming to get it now?”

Customer: “Yes. Do you have it?”

Manager: “I’m very sorry, but we cannot hold onto lost items for three months. If you have your receipt, I will give you a refund for the item.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have a receipt. You really don’t have it?”

Manager: “No. I’m afraid that without your receipt to prove purchase, there is nothing more I can do.”

(I couldn’t believe that anyone would wait THREE MONTHS to come back to the store, particularly when the item was only worth £3!)

Related:

Refunder Blunder, Part 22

Refunder Blunder, Part 21

Refunder Blunder, Part 20

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Dry Demands

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Popular, Transportation

(A guest comes up to the desk with damp hair and a look of fury.)

Me: “Hello, may I help y—“

Guest: “I WAS TRYING TO DRY MY HAIR AND YOUR STUPID HAIR DRYER DOES NOT WORK IN MY ROOM! YOU’RE AN IDIOT AND SO IS THIS HOTEL!”

Me: “Um… I’m sorry ma’am. I’ll go fetch you another one.”

Guest: “YOU BETTER! AND HURRY UP, OR I’LL MISS MY FLIGHT! NOW! WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING?”

(I tell the manager to watch the desk while I find her another hair dryer. It takes a long time because all I can find are broken ones. Finally I head up to the desk with a working dryer.)

Guest: *screaming* “MY FLIGHT! MY FLIGHT, YOU INCOMPETENT IDIOTS!”

Manager: *whispers to me* “Where were you? The lady was getting more and more agitated!”

Me: “I couldn’t find a working one.” *to Guest* “Here you go, ma’am. Again, sorry about that.”

Guest: “YOU’RE ALL IDIOTS!” *snatches dryer and goes to dry her hair in the lobby bathrooms*

(She takes a while, and meanwhile I notice something: it’s raining hard outside. She finally comes out and throws the dryer at my manager, which hits the counter. Pieces of dryer fall off and my manager picks it up. She makes a beeline for the door. I also notice she had no umbrella.)

Me: “Ma’am, wait…”

Guest: “WHAT, IDIOT?”

Me: “…Never mind.”

(She throws me a dirty look, stomps outside, and her hair goes from dry to damp again in five seconds. I saw her throw another childish fit in the street! Glad I didn’t have to hear it! All that for nothing.)

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