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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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The Writing’s On The Wall With The Squirrels

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(The phone rings.)

Me: “[Store]; good evening. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello? I need help. There are squirrels in my roof, and I—”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that, ma’am, but we do not offer any services to remove squirrels.”

Customer: “But you don’t understand. I buy everything from your store! Why can’t you help me? I can hear them through the walls!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am, and we appreciate your loyalty as a customer; however, we do not remove squirrels. We are a hardware store.”

Customer: *in tears* “What am I supposed to do? Why won’t you help me? Is there a manager I can speak to?”

(I transfer the call to my manager. 15 minutes later my manager comes up to me.)

Manager: “Did that call really just happen?”

Me: “Yes. Did you help her with the squirrels?”

Manager: *laughing hysterically* “If you ever pass me a call like that again, I’ll fire you!”

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A Brand New Way Of Dealing With It

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests

(An older gentleman returns some shoes in a bag with the brand’s name on it. I think nothing of it at first because most people put their returns in any bag they have. I go through the usual process — what’s wrong with the item, do you have the receipt, etc. He says the shoes are the wrong size and he indeed has the receipt.)

Me: *looks at the receipt* “Uh… sir, you didn’t purchase these at [Store]; they’re from [Other Store] – in [Far Away City].”

Customer: “But y’all sell Nikes!”

Me: “Yes, sir, but you’d have to go to [Other Store]. We can’t process this.”

(I start to explain that not only can we not just take any product because of inventory purposes but the register would likely not even be able to process the return.)

Customer: *incredulously* “I’d have to go all the way to [Faraway City]?”

Me: “Um, I think they have one in [Nearby City], in the mall there, I think. Would you like me to call…?”

(He took his shoes and receipt and left.)

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It’s The Funniest Thing

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a popular drug store chain in Canada. We sell pretty much everything and I work in the cosmetics/skincare department. It’s rare that I get really ridiculous requests but this one was so memorable.)

Customer: “I need that thing that you put on your face. You know what I’m talking about.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Foundation, moisturizer…?”

Customer: “You know! You put it on the thing and then put it on your face!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to be more specific. What does the product look like?”

(10 minutes later we’ve finally decided she was looking for moisturizer.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, I need that make-up thing, you know…”

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Contracting Expectations

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I’m the biller for an upscale retirement home. The children of some of our clients help pay for the expenses, and in this case, the children have just decided to stop helping financially.)

Daughter:  “So we’ll need to renegotiate my parents’ rent to something they can afford on their own.”

Me: “Unfortunately, our rates are not negotiable. And since your parents are already in the smallest unit, we don’t have an option that would be cheaper for them. You may need to find them a cheaper place to live.”

Daughter: “What?! I’m not moving them to some cut-rate hell-hole! We chose this place because it’s the best in town. My parents are planning to live here for the rest of their lives.”

Me: “And I’m planning to charge the contract rate for anyone living in that apartment. Guess which one of us is going to get what they want?”

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Not Getting The Signal

| Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’m in the boarding area of an airport with my friends. I’m using my phone’s personal hotspot to share WiFi with my friends when a lady comes up to me. Keep in mind that my hotspot has a password, like any other, to keep people from using my data.)

Lady: “Give me the password to your WiFi!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Lady: “I know you have WiFi! Give me the password!”

Me: “Sorry, but that’s my hotspot–”

Lady: “GIVE ME IT!”

Me: “Ma’am. You do not understand. THIS. IS. MY. WIFI. I’m not giving you my password.”

Lady: “Fine! I’ll just get you fired for hogging the WiFi!”

Me: “Good luck, because I don’t work here!”

(My friends and I think that that’s the end of her. But only five minutes later, she brings a manager over to “get me fired.”)

Lady: “See!? That’s him! He won’t give me the WiFi password!”

Manager: “Ma’am, first, I don’t know him because he doesn’t work here. Therefore, I can’t fire him. Second, our airline’s WiFi is free.”

Lady: “But…”

Manager: “Third, I’m sure he is using his own hotspot’s WiFi, so you’re just trying to get free WiFi from him.”

Lady: “So make him give me the password!”

Manager: “No.”

Lady: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “I said no, if you didn’t hear me.”

Lady: “THE CUSTOMER’S ALWAYS RIGHT!”

Manager: “Well, in this case, you certainly are not.”

Lady: *speechless*

Manager: “Now, are you going to go back to your seat to leave these POLITE flyers alone, or do I have to get security to escort you out of here?”

Lady: *looks at me, then to the manager, then back to me, then turns 50 shades of red and clambers back into her seat*

Manager: *to me* “Well, I bet she won’t bother you anymore!”

(Later we got the best seats for being polite and not causing a commotion, and I spotted her sitting between two bratty kids!)

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