Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Can’t Predict The Cards

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests

(We recently got a whole new computer system installed in our store, complete with new machines for customers’ cards; as it’s now done differently, our manager has asked us to talk all customers through the new system for the first week.)

Me: “Will you be paying by cash or card today?”

Customer: “Card.”

Me: “Just to let you know we have a new system now, and how it works—”

Customer: “I’m not a f****** moron! I know how these things work!”

Me: “If you need any help then let me know and I’ll talk you through it.”

Customer: “Are you f****** deaf?! I know how to do it!”

(I just sit back and watch her for several minutes trying to figure out the new system. The old system let customers type in any cash out they would like before swiping their cards; the new system will not do anything until the card has been swiped.)

Customer: “Your f****** machine is broken!”

Me: “It isn’t broken; it’s a new system. Things are done in a different order now.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

Me: “With respect, ma’am, you told me not to talk you through it.”

Customer: “Well, you should have known that I would be stuck!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have psychic abilities that allow me to read minds or predict the future!”

Customer: “Well, you should! They shouldn’t hire you if you can’t make accurate predictions!”

(After all that she paid for her purchases by allowing me to talk her through the new system!)

Customer: “You have lost a very good customer! I’m never coming back here again!”

(The very next day the customer came in again.)


Let That Entitlement Slide Into The Bus Lane

| OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(A customer comes to the customer service desk.)

Customer: “You! Are you the manager here?”

Manager: “I am.”

(The customer slams down a written statement on the counter.)

Customer: “I have a complaint to make about one of your employees. A disgusting little b****, she is!”

(My manager picks up the statement and reads through it thoughtfully. He looks over the rim of his glasses at the customer in disbelief as he finishes.)

Manager: “So… you were waiting at the bus stop and saw [Employee] drive past you to the store. You tried to flag her down and she didn’t stop?”

Customer: “Yes! I never felt so disrespected!”

Manager: “Erm… do you know [Employee] personally?”

Customer: “What? No, of course not.”

Manager: “Was she meant to be picking you up?”

Customer: “No, but she works here! And I spend a lot of money here!”

Manager: “Meaning what? She’s supposed to stop and give you a ride?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(By this point I’m now gaping in shock from where I’m trying to sort through lottery tickets and scratch cards.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not how it works. We appreciate that you spend so much here but that does not entitle you to treat employees like they’re a taxi service.”

(My manager then proceeds to rip up the customer’s statement and throws it in the trash can. The customer now gapes and silently flaps her mouth.)


(She storms out while my manager sighs in relief.)

Manager: “Whatever the fallout from that may be, it was totally worth it. There’s only so much entitlement I’m willing to let slide!”


Coffee Is Brewing And So Is Trouble

| Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a customer standing in line behind an elderly couple while they place their order with the cashier. I’m already quite annoyed since the lady held up a line of people outside in the tropical storm so she could stand in the doorway and shake off her umbrella until she was satisfied it was dry enough. Then, the man held up the line while he tried to decide what he wanted, but refused to lose “his place” in line. Finally…)

Cashier: “Okay, Mr. [Customer], your total is [amount]. Will that be for here or to-go?”

Husband: “For here! Always for here! Here is all we get!”

Wife: *pacing the counter over and over* “Where is the coffee? Why is there NO coffee for us?”

Cashier: “It’s brewing, ma’am. The customers before you took the last of it. I will be glad to bring it to your table once it’s ready. It won’t be long.”

(The cashier turns around to start toasting their bread and getting things ready for them.)

Husband: *leans over the counter* “Let me see the bread slices.”

Cashier: *holds up the slices* “Are these okay?”

Husband: “Let me see the other side!”

Cashier: *still holding them up, she turns the slices around for him to inspect the other side, still smiling*

Husband: “That is NOT toasted! Run them through again!”

Cashier: “I assure you, sir, they will be crispy. Our toasters are designed to not burn the bread, but they are toas—”

Husband: “AGAIN!”

Cashier: “Of course! I just want to make sure you understand they could get burnt if they go through again. It’s a set time; I can’t take them out sooner.”

(The husband grumbles and the cashier places the slices back in the toaster, giving the rest of us a “Sorry” look.)

Wife: *still pacing the counter* “They don’t have ANY coffee! No decaf, nothing! I can’t believe this. They know we come here; it should always be ready.” *she grabs a young male cashier that’s mopping nearby* “Young man, is that coffee brewing? We ARE waiting, you know.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, ma’am! It’s nearly done.” *walks off to the back as quickly as he can*

Cashier: *hold up the toast slices* “I’m sorry, they’re a bit black now, is this okay?”

Husband: “Fine. They’ll do. Next time don’t burn them, just toast them! Where is the coffee? My wife wants her coffee. You know we come here. Only here!”

Customer Behind Me: “Heaven help them, then…”

Wife: “This is ridiculous. Everyone is being so rude.” *yelling across the cafe at another worker that is wiping down counters* “HEY! [CASHIER #3]! HELLLOOOO? [CASHIER #3]! HELLLOOOO!”

(Cashier #3, a young girl, closes her eyes and lets out a sigh before turning to them, smiling.)

Cashier #3: “Hello Mr. and Mrs. [Customer]! That coffee will be right out, I promise you. I just checked on it.” *walks in the back as quick as she can, while the original cashier gives her a look of desperation*

Wife: “GOOD! At least [Cashier #3] is doing her job today! She’s our favorite. The only one we like.”

Cashier: *places the toast and their creamers on a plate and holds them out to the husband* “All set! I’ll go check on the coffee for you and bring it right out! Okay? It should be done.”

Husband: “TWO plates! ALWAYS TWO plates!”

Cashier: *still smiling and pleasant while she splits the toast and creamers evenly on two plates* “Of course, sir. I forgot. Please have a seat and I’ll—”

Wife: “We will wait RIGHT here! Do you understand me? It makes you work faster if we wait, you know. You guys are so lazy! Is the coffee done YET?!”

(I have FINALLY had enough, I’ve been in line so long that I’ve dried off from the heavy rain and need to get to work.)

Me: “NO! You will not! These people have done everything and more to give you great service! You need to get out of my way so I can order my food and get to work. This is enough already! MOVE! Right now! I mean it!”

Customer Behind Me: “Absolutely! I agree! Or I’ll move you myself, understand? You have done nothing but abuse these people! I’m SICK of it and I’m SICK of you!”

Cashier: “I’m so sorr—”

Me: “No, please don’t apologize to anyone in here. You have done nothing to be sorry for.”

Wife: “You people are SO RUDE! We are just trying to get our food and they’re so lazy! They didn’t even make our coffee!”

Customer Behind Me: “Shut up, you witch! MOVE. You have exactly five seconds before I do it myself. One… Two…”

(The couples eyes go wide and they both FINALLY shuffle out of the way all while grumbling about being cut in line and demanding their coffee.)

Cashier #3: “Can we come out now? Is it safe? I am SO switching my shift to nights! They know my NAME now!”


This Customer Has A Drink Problem

, | Charlotte, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’ve been working at a local coffee shop/cafe for about six months. Even though I have met most of the regular customers, I still have not met ALL of them. I am working with one of our new employees when this exchange occurs.)

Coworker: “Hey, who is Carol?”

Me: “Who?”

Coworker: “This man at the counter says he wants Carol’s regular.”

(I go up to the counter to see who the customer is. Sometimes I can recognize them and know what drinks they get. This man is unfamiliar to me, so I smile as I approach the counter.)

Me: “Hello there! Would you mind telling me what Carol usually gets? I don’t think I’ve made her drink before.”

(At this point, the man looks offended, like I insulted him or something, and says this to me:)

Customer: *rude/ sarcastic tone* “Well. Usually when I come here and ask for Carol’s drink, they KNOW what she gets and I don’t have to tell them. The just have it ready.”

Me: “Well, I’m still fairly new and I haven’t met everybody yet. I haven’t met Carol before.”

(He grumbled at me, and because he didn’t know what Carol’s drink was, he called her. The kicker — she didn’t know either!)


Their Consideration Comes Crashing Down

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(I’m on bike patrol when I hear on the radio that a man suffered a heart attack while driving and crashed his truck in the middle of a busy bridge in our city. I pedal over to offer any assistance for traffic control, and see that there are two ambulances already arrived and the paramedics are actively performing CPR on the driver in the middle of the road. The regular patrol officers are diverting traffic carefully but slowly past the scene, so I pedal back to the beginning of the bridge to signal drivers to slow down as they approach.)

Man: *in his car, rolling down window* “Hey! What the f*** is the hold up here?!”

Me: “There was a crash on the bridge up ahead.”

Man: “Well, they should really do something about the f****** traffic!”

Me: “Sir, I think they’re doing the best they can, but like I said, there was a CRASH on the bridge. I think they’re a bit preoccupied at this moment.”

Man: “Well, they need to do something about this f****** traffic! I have places to be and s*** to do! This is f****** bull-s***!”

Me: “SIR, there are paramedics up there right now, doing CPR on someone as we speak! You’re just going to have to be patient.”

Man: “I don’t see why I should be inconvenienced because of this! You people need to do your jobs and move the f****** traffic!”

Me: “EXCUSE ME, SIR! There is someone up there, RIGHT NOW, actively DYING in the middle of the road. So just SIMMER DOWN and shut up, because your problems are just not that important right now!”

Man: “Well, they’re important to me!”

(He rolled up his window with a scowl and continued honking, making impatient gestures, and easing as obnoxiously close to the car in front of him as possible the entire time it took him to get past the scene of the crash.)

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