Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

This Customer Is Causing A Real Stink

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work on an online jewelry shop, taking calls for customers who are either confused with products or their prices, our delivery services, etc.)

Me: “[Jewelry Store], this is [My Name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “Hello! Do you sell deodorant?”

Me: *trying to hold in my laughter* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You know, deodorant. The stuff you put on your armpits?”

Me: “Ma’am, I know what deodorant is, but this is a jewelry store… We don’t sell deodorant or any sort of hygiene-like products; only jewelry. I’m sorry for your inconvenience.”

Customer: “But jewelry is a beauty product…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I understand that. I don’t know what you’re getting at, though.”

Customer: “And deodorant is a hygiene product, to help with your beauty.”

Me: *trying not to die laughing* “Ma’am, have you seen our website?”

Customer: “Yes. What do you mean?”

Me: *getting slightly more aggressive* “Did you see deodorant ANYWHERE on it?”

Customer: “No… I just thought you were out of stock.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I am 100% sure you can find deodorant at your local convenience store or grocery store without waiting for shipping.”

Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Well, I’m pretty sure if I put my manager on the phone, he’ll say the same thing.”

(I put my manager on the phone.)

Customer: “Hello? Is this the manager?”

Manager: “Yes? I heard you were having some trouble on our website.”

Customer: “Yes, the little lady you have working here isn’t letting me buy deodorant from your website.”

Manager: “Ma’am, this is a jewelry store. We don’t sell deodorant or any sort of hygiene-like products; only jewelry. But, I’m pretty sure you can buy some deodorant from a store near you with no delivery waiting or cost.”

(My mind is blown because that is almost exactly what I said to this lady. The call finishes and the customer returns to me.)

Customer: “Well, I still don’t believe you.”

Like Talking To A Parrot

| NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(It is a slow day, and there are two people working. I am at the cash register and the owner is checking on all of the animals. A teenage girl walks in, looking confused.)

Me: “Hi, ma’am, is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “I want a parrot.”

Me: “Of course. Do you know what kind of parrot you would like?”

Customer: “One of the fancy ones that can talk.”

Me: “We have several that can talk; if you could perhaps describe it more I might be able to help you find it.”

Customer: “Uh, I dunno; I’ll know it when I see it.”

Me: “These are all of our parrots in these cages.”

Customer: *continues looking, and turns around* “Oh! This is the one!”

Me: “That is an African Gray Parrot—”

Customer: *to the parrot* “Hi! You’re coming home with me!” *looks at price, then to me* “Oh dear, this is very expensive. Can I get a discount?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, this one has already been paid for and is on reserve for customers who are coming later.”

Customer: “Oh, so it’s already been paid for?”

Me: “Yes, it has. This bird is theirs; we’re just holding it for them.”

Customer: “But, can’t I just take it?”

Me: “I apologize but we can’t just give away somebody else’s bird.”

Customer: “But it’s paid for; I should get it!”

(This continues for a couple of minutes until…)

Customer: “I demand to speak to your manager!”

(I go and get the owner and tell her the problem.)

Owner: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Hey! I said a manager! You’re an owner!”

Owner: “I am in fact a higher ranking than a manager and can help you with anything that a manager could help you with.”

Customer: “No! I was told to speak to a MANAGER if I had any problems, and you aren’t a MANAGER!”

(After a couple minutes of back and forth about managers and owner, the owner gives up and goes into the back room. She comes out with a note taped on to her name badge that says “Manager.”)

Owner: “Hi, I’m the manager. What seems to be the problem here?”

Customer: “Finally! A manager! Anyway, your stupid employee won’t give me this bird. It’s free!”

Owner: “Well, that is because that this bird belongs to somebody else. We are simply watching it until they can come and get it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay then!” *walks out, completely satisfied*

Me: “…”

Owner: “…”

Not So Sweet About The Syrup

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’m working the closing shift at work and, earlier in the night, we had run out of an ingredient to make one of the lattes. I’m working the drive-thru when I get this customer.)

Me: “Hi, thanks for choosing [Popular Coffee Chain]! What can I get started for you?

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like a [Popular Latte] with soy.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re all out of [syrup] for tonight. I’m so sorry about that.”

Customer: *angrily* “Well, I think that calls for a free drink!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Okay, well, then, never mind.”

Me: “Are you sure I can’t get you some water for the trouble of coming out?”

Customer: “Nope. Bye!” *backs out of drive-thru*

(No, you’re not going to get a free drink just because we’re out of an ingredient, especially when you rudely demand it. The only thing I’ll get you for your trouble is water. Other people have come through that night wanting the same drink you ordered and were understanding and just ordered something else. And they were nice about it, too!)

The Website Has Been Successfully Vetted

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests

(It is a slow Wednesday at the grooming salon where I work. A car pulls into the parking lot and a woman gets down and pushes the door.)

Customer: “Oh, good. You’re open.”

Me: “Did you have an appointment?”

Customer: “No, but she’s really sick. I don’t know what to do.”

Me: “Oh, well, we’re not a vet, ma’am.”

Customer: “You’re not?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “But my grandma told me to bring her here. She said you have a vet here.”

Me: “But we don’t.”

Customer: “Well it says on your website that you do!”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

Customer: “Well, it says on your website, so y’all need to change that.”

(I checked the website just in case, even though I already knew it says no such thing, and I was just confused as to where she got this information. I hope her dog was okay because she didn’t seem too bright.)

From Now On, Always Use That Line

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Time

(I do returns and am waiting for a price check to come back. The elderly women who is next in line thinks the three-minute wait is too much.)

Customer: “What is taking so long?”

Me: “Someone is checking the price on these boots for me, ma’am. It’ll be just a minute.”

Customer: “Well, it’s taking too long. Can’t you just help me?”

Me: “I only have this one register. It will be just a second.”

(It takes maybe another minute. I get the price and start processing the return.)

Customer: “This is taking forever.”

Me: “I am exchanging items for this customer, ma’am. Just be patient.”

Customer: “Could you be any slower?!”

Me: “Probably, ma’am. Would you like to see?”

Customer: “No! I don’t have time to wait in this line!”

Me: “Well, what else would you do in a line? They’re designed to wait in.”

(At this point an assistant manager had come up, laughing, and took the lady to another register to do her return.)

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