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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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Will Not Accept This Locker-Room Behavior

| Germany | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work in a gym, and we got a new system to lock our lockers two months ago.)

Customer: “What is this s***?” *holding up the card she needs to open the locker*

Me: “Oh, it’s our new locker-system. You don’t have to get one key for each locker now, you can just go to any locker you want and unlock it.”

Customer: “But why didn’t you tell me before!? I was just trying to open these d*** lockers for a half hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we already changed it two months ago. I can’t keep asking everyone if they know how to open it, but I will come with you and show it to you.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time anymore! Just give me my money back for this visit and let me leave!”

Me: “You are paying monthly like everyone else, so I can’t give you anything back.”

Customer: “I WANT 1/30TH OF MY MONTHLY PAYMENT BECAUSE I JUST LOST THIS DAY BECAUSE OF YOU!”

(At this point I call my manager, and he explains him why he can’t get his money back. The customer breaks his card and just walks away.)

Manager: “Do you know his name?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Manager: “These cards cost €30 each; just put it on his next monthly payment and call me if he calls and complains…”

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His Thinking Is Far To The Right

, | Fayetteville, AK, USA | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Popular, School

(Usually, it’s pretty slow but one day a patron is very irate and storms over to me.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How may I help you?”

Patron: “You need to change your doors!”

Me: *slightly confused* “Excuse me?”

Patron: “Your doors are on the wrong side. This is f***ing America! We do everything to the right! You god-d*** door entrances are on the left. I demand you fix them!”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask that you stop using that type of language and keep your voice down. I’m sorry you have such a problem with the position of our doors. I can fill out a maintenance request but I don’t think there is much they will be willing to do since they isn’t actually anything physically wrong with the doors.”

Patron: “Listen here! I’m the Dean of this library! I demand you fix those doors right now! This is America, not f***ing England! ”

Me: “Sir, I am asking you again to lower your voice and not speak to me that way. If I have to ask you again I will be asking you to leave. And sir, that’s pretty amazing surgery if you’re in fact the dean.”

Patron: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

Me: “Well, sir, you’re a Caucasian, mid-twenties male. Our Dean, at least as of this morning when she came in, was an African American, middle-aged woman.”

(He stormed out of the library as security quickly followed him. He was banned from the library and I never did put in that maintenance request!)

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Finger-Lickin’ Crazy

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to place an order.”

Me: “Okay, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I would like two orders of the fried chicken, one order of mashed potatoes, and two orders of the corn on the cob.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we actually don’t carry any of these items. We only have sandwiches and salads.”

Customer: “This is [Company], right?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do now?”

Me: “Call KFC?”

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Getting Rusty At Refunding

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(My manager is called up to the customer service desk because a man is trying to return a patio table without his receipt. It’s a product we don’t sell anymore and was purchased over a year ago. It is clearly covered in rust.)

Manager: “I’m sorry but I can’t allow this return. We have a 90 day return policy; without your receipt and given this was purchased a year ago, there’s nothing I can do.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, then!”

Manager: “My manager will be in tomorrow. I can take down your information for her if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, I mean your regional manager! I’ll have him hear all about this!”

Manager: “All right, here’s his information.”

(The problem is, the customer will most likely lie, say he has his receipt, the product is in mint condition, and that we refused the return for no good reason.)

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Lunch Rushing To Their Defense

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m waiting for my order while the lunch rush is on. This lady had ordered before me, and was complaining to her friend.)

Lady: “It’s been ten minutes since I ordered. They’re taking too long.” *to workers* “What’s taking so long? It’s been ten minutes and I’m gonna be late!”

Me: “It’s the lunch rush, and they’re busy all around. Don’t yell at them for being popular.”

Lady: *gives stony, surprised glare at me* “I wasn’t talking to you.”

Me: “And I was defending them! It’s not their fault it’s the lunch rush.”

(She turned around and didn’t say much after that.)

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