Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


A Song With The Perfect Ending

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(I am a high energy, cheerful person who works in a cafe inside a large building. Part of my cheer is musical; I sing and hum, often without even noticing that I am. You can hear me in the cafe where I work and a little in the dining room but I definitely am not belting it out. A customer comes in, already in a foul mood, and after listening to me sing for about thirty seconds, goes off.)

Customer: “You’re so loud; stop it! I’m having a horrible day and you are disturbing me! I don’t want to hear it! STOP! STOP! STOP!”

(I stop singing. About a minute later I absently start humming softly to myself as I brew coffee and she goes off again.)


Me: “Ma’am, you said stop singing because I was too loud. I stopped singing. I was just humming, very quietly.”

(The customer turns to a random other old woman and starts ranting.)

Customer: “She’s so annoying; she always does stuff like this! I can’t stand her! Isn’t she terrible?!”

(The other customer just looks uncomfortable and keeps doctoring her coffee silently. I bite my tongue and say with as much sincerity as I can muster:)

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry you are having a bad day. I hope it gets better.”

Customer: “My day will get better when I leave!”

(She sneers at me and I just smile calmly back.)

Me: “Mine will, too.”


Playing The Race Book

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Popular

Customer: “I’m looking for a book. I can’t remember the title or author, but it’s by an Asian woman.”

Me: “Do you have any more information? Unfortunately our books aren’t organized by the author’s race.”


Gonna Make You Valentine’s Pay

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Popular

(I’m working at a retail store that gets enormously popular around and on Valentine’s Day. This is February 13th, about 45 minutes after close. My coworker is in the back; I’m straightening up out front.)

Customer: *banging on the door* “Hey, let me in!”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t. It’s 45 minutes after close, and we’ve zeroed out the registers. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “What?! Are you kidding me! It’s f****** Valentine’s Day, you dumb b****! Let me in there!”

Me: “Absolutely not!”

(He continues berating me through the door and pounding on it for about five minutes while I ignore him. My coworker comes out from the back.)

Coworker: “Keep that up and I’ll call the cops, a**-hole!”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(He leaves.)

Me: “Let’s stay in here for a bit and make sure he leaves. I don’t know what he thought we were gonna do for him! If you need a gift that badly, maybe you should go shopping for it before 11:45 the day before you need it!”


Expects You To Be A Non-Profit Prophet

| USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work as a customer service representative for a small start-up company that produces a product that is aimed towards the education community. We are communicating over customer help chat.)

Me: “Good afternoon; can I help you?”

Customer: “I work for a non-profit and was wondering what discount I could get?”

Me: “Certainly, we would just need to verify that you are in fact a legitimate non-profit and we have a few forms.”

Customer: “Yeah, okay, but we can get it for free, right?”

Me: “Depending on what you do, we have several different options.”

Customer: “Oh, my god. You aren’t answering my question quick enough. No, you won’t even get my business. You should work on how you talk to your customers and how you get to the point!” *customer disconnects*

Me: “Seriously?”

(I was going to happily give them a discount until that…)


Don’t Cheese Off America

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work as a deli worker at a bit of a pretentious whole food type store. We often only sell specialty and healthy items and don’t have over-processed food. I thought I had seen everything… Nope.)

Me: “Good afternoon, what can I slice for you today?”

Customer: “I want two pounds of American cheese”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t sell American cheese, but Havarti tastes quite good and is a good substitute.”

(The customer looks at me, enraged. Note that we have a list of our available meats and cheeses behind me.)

Customer: “How dare you not sell it? This is America! Do you hate our country?”

(He is in fact very serious and very angry and storms off and abandons his other groceries.)

Coworker: “Did he really just ask if we hate America?”

Me: “Yup…”

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