Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!


Sorting Out The Disorder

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests

(I’m a customer in this one.)

Worker: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get you?”

Me: “I had a call in order for [My Name].”

Worker: “Oh… uh. Can I see your credit card?” *looks at card and verifies the last four digits on receipt* “We actually had a lady come in a few minutes ago, saying she was [My Name] and took that order. Did you have someone else coming for the order?”

Me: “No… not that I know of.”

Worker: “It was an order of [repeats my order to me]?”

Me: *laughing* “Yeah, it was. Oh, man, did you have any other pick up orders?”

Worker: “Yes, two others, but there’s only one order with a woman’s name. I even asked her what her name was, and she said [My Name].”

Me: “That’s weird! Oh, well. She’ll be upset when she gets home with the wrong order. And, of course, it’ll completely be your fault, because she didn’t pay attention.”

Worker: “I’m so sorry about that. We’ll make it up again, but it’ll be ten minutes. In the meantime, if you’d like a drink, it’s on the house.”

Me: “No, that’s fine. It wasn’t your fault at all that she didn’t listen.”

(I sit down and wait for my order to be remade. My name has just been called when a woman comes barreling up to the front.)

Her: “You screwed up my order. I didn’t order any of this crap.”

Worker: “Wait… was this the order for [My Name]?”

Her: “YES! I ordered [something more expensive] and I paid for this? I expect you to remake it!”

Worker: “We didn’t get an order for [something more expensive], only this one right here. Are you sure you’re at the right place?”

Her: “Yes! I always come here! You need to make this order again. I’d demand you refund my money if I didn’t think you’d double charge me.”

Worker: “Actually, you will have to pay for this order, ma’am.”

Her: “The h*** I will! Why would I need to pay for your screw up?”

Me: *stepping up after listening* “Oh, is this the order for [My Name]? Great, thanks!” *reaches over to put my hand on the order the woman has* “I guess this means that this is my order, too. Thanks for bringing it back for me.”

Woman: “Wait, but… what?”

Worker: “We can’t fill your order until you actually place an order in, ma’am. Are you sure you are in the right place?”

(The woman rushed back out, leaving the food behind. The worker offered it to me, but knowing some stranger had her hands in my food was a nauseating idea. We think the woman was trying to get a free meal out of the situation, but even if she’d been at the right place, she would have had to pay the difference in the meal if she’d truthfully ordered what she’d claimed to begin with.)


Should Have Taken Notarize

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal

(I work in an auto tag shop. Because of the high volume of paperwork that requires notary, my boss requires anyone who gets hired to get their notary license. We do general notary work as well, but we also tend to know a little more about notarizing motor vehicle paperwork because that’s what we do all day. I got this phone call one afternoon.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Business]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hi. I’m going to be selling a car, but I can’t arrange a time to meet up with the buyer. What can I do?”

Me: “Oh, no problem! What you can do is bring the title in to us and we’ll notarize it. Then you can give it to the buyer and he or she can do the transaction without you being there.”

Customer: “Oh, good! What do I need for that?”

Me: “You’ll need to bring us the title and your valid identification. You’ll also need the buyer’s name and address, the purchase price, and the approximate mileage on the car. Then, it’s five dollars and we only accept cash or check.”

Customer: “What if I don’t know the buyer’s name and address?”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, we need that information. We can’t notarize the title without filling that information in on the back. If we do so, it’s called an open title, and that’s illegal.”

Customer: “But I don’t know who’s buying the car!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait until you have a buyer secured before you can get the title notarized.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! Is there no place who will notarize this title for me?”

(The shop where I work is known for being extremely strict on the laws, while there are other shops who are a lot more lax as well as notaries who don’t know about open titles. It happens quite often that someone gets something illegal done at another shop and then is upset with us that we can’t do it as well, so I default to my usual answer in this situation.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, I can’t say that. I’m sure that there are notaries and tag shops out there who will do what you’re asking, but I have to warn you that they would be doing it illegally.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “An open title is illegal. There are plenty of tag shops out there who operate illegally and will do what you’re asking, but unfortunately we are not one of them.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, then, can you give me the phone number to one of those illegal shops?”

Me: “I’m sorry…? No, ma’am, I don’t have a list on hand of illegal tag shops.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s okay! I’ll find one on my own! Bye!” *hangs up*

Me: “What just happened?”


Getting All Hot (Salsa) And Bothered

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular, Wild & Unruly

(We have three different kinds of salsa, which are named based on their spiciness: mild, medium, and hot. Customers choose their salsa, and employees put it on. I always point to each one as I say their names when asking customers which ones they want. It is a very slow night; I am the only one working on the food line, and the only manager is in the back. This customer is the first one I’ve seen in ten minutes or so.)

Me: “All right, would you like mild, medium, or hot salsa?”

Customer: *points to the mild salsa* “Hot.”

Me: *I figure it’s more likely that he misspoke than that he mis-pointed. I grab the spoon for the mild salsa and keep my eye on the customer’s face* “This one?”

Customer: “Is that the hot?”

Me: *I move my hand over to the spoon for the hot salsa* “Sorry, that was the mild. This one’s the hot.”

Customer: “Mild?”

Me: *I point to the mild* “This one here?”

Customer: “Is that the hot?”

Me: “No, that is the mild.” *I point to the hot* “This is the hot. Did you want the hot salsa?”

Customer: “No, not that one.”

Me: *I point to the mild* “So, the mild?”

Customer: “NOT MILD!”

Me: “Okay, um…” *I point to the medium* “Medium?”

Customer: *clearly getting irate* “HOT! SALSA!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(I grab the ladle of hot salsa, and start to bring it to the customer’s food.)

Customer: “NO!” *he points to the mild salsa* “I want HOT SALSA! HOT! SALSA!”

(He’s already yelling because I tried to clarify. He still doesn’t know which salsa is which. Either he gets mad at me now because I explain it, or he gets mad later because his food isn’t spicy, and then gets mad again the next time an employee tries to clarify what he wants. I decide to bite the bullet. I plaster on my cheerful customer service face. My eyes probably glaze over. I am no longer present.)

Me: “Yes, sir! I’m very sorry; I just want to make sure that I get you exactly what you want. It looks like you’re pointing to this one.” *points to mild* “Is that right?”

Customer: “YES! HOT SALSA!”

Me: “I’d be happy to give you some of this, but I’d hate it if you sat down with the food and were disappointed because you expected it to be hot. This one is mild. It has no spiciness whatsoever. Is that okay?”


Me: “Sure! Just a moment, sir.”

(I go in the back to talk to the manager.)

Me: “Sir, there’s a gentleman up front who would like some help with his salsa choices this evening.”

Manager: “Oh, god, you’ve gone robot again. It’s that bad?”

Me: “He says he’d like someone smarter than me to do it.”

Manager: “Oh, boy.”

(The manager goes up front. I stay in the office and watch on the security monitors as the manager listens to the customer, and reaches for the hot salsa. I see the customer gesturing wildly, and hear some yelling from all the way up front. Then the customer storms out without his food. I walk up front, and pass the manager on his way back. He’s holding back laughter.)

Manager: “Good news! He says he’s never coming here again!”



| WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Transportation

(It’s late at night, and I’m out delivering pizza. I’m driving a relatively small car.)

Customer #1: “Oh, what a cute car! [Customer #2], come look at it!”

(Customer #2 comes out to look.)

Customer #1: “Can we take a picture of it?”

Me: “I guess.”

Customer #2: “Take a picture of me on it!”

Customer #1: “Yeah!”

(The next door neighbor now opens their door.)

Neighbor: “I’ll take the picture!”

(Customer #1, Customer #2, and Neighbor run down to my car. Customer #2 then lies on top of it, for Neighbor to take pictures of.)

Customer #1: “We’re not tipping you enough for this, are we?”

Me: *having given up on existence, just shrugs*


A Song With The Perfect Ending

| USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Popular

(I am a high energy, cheerful person who works in a cafe inside a large building. Part of my cheer is musical; I sing and hum, often without even noticing that I am. You can hear me in the cafe where I work and a little in the dining room but I definitely am not belting it out. A customer comes in, already in a foul mood, and after listening to me sing for about thirty seconds, goes off.)

Customer: “You’re so loud; stop it! I’m having a horrible day and you are disturbing me! I don’t want to hear it! STOP! STOP! STOP!”

(I stop singing. About a minute later I absently start humming softly to myself as I brew coffee and she goes off again.)


Me: “Ma’am, you said stop singing because I was too loud. I stopped singing. I was just humming, very quietly.”

(The customer turns to a random other old woman and starts ranting.)

Customer: “She’s so annoying; she always does stuff like this! I can’t stand her! Isn’t she terrible?!”

(The other customer just looks uncomfortable and keeps doctoring her coffee silently. I bite my tongue and say with as much sincerity as I can muster:)

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry you are having a bad day. I hope it gets better.”

Customer: “My day will get better when I leave!”

(She sneers at me and I just smile calmly back.)

Me: “Mine will, too.”

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