Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Tipped To Be Bad Customers From The Beginning

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a restaurant where management at times allows us to politely approach customers who tip us very poorly, as long as we ask what we may have done wrong and if there is anything we can improve upon for next time, etc. Nothing rude, just simply asking why the service was not up to certain standards. I have couple sit in my section for a couple hours. They leave me $4 on a $60 tab. It is very rare that I receive such a low tip as I never have any complaints about my service.)

Me: “Pardon me, I do not mean to be rude or disrespectful but I was wondering if there was anything wrong with my service today?”

Woman: “No. It was fine. Why?”

Me: “Well I was just curious because the tip left on the credit card receipt was for less than 10% and I was wondering if there was something I did wrong.”

Man: “Was 10% not good enough?”

Me: “Well, sir, $4 is not even 10% of $60. And 10% is a low tip which usually reflects poor service, and I was just asking if there was something I could improve on to make your next experience with us better.”

Man: “Well… you didn’t bring us glasses of water.”

Me: “Sir, you never asked me for waters.”

Woman: “Well, that should hardly matter.”

Me: “So… just to be clear… you tipped me 10% because I didn’t bring you something that you never asked me for?”

Woman: “We shouldn’t have to ask. You should just know what we want. We’re the customer and it’s your job to know how to make us happy.”

Me: “Ma’am, it is my job to bring you what you order… not to read your mind. I’m a waitress, not a psychic.”

(They complained to my manager and my punishment was a free shot and getting sent home early to try and forget people like that exist… Sometimes mouthing off has its benefits.)

Laptop Flop, Part 9

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology

(A student walks in with a laptop in a case.)

IT Support Staff: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Student: “My laptop won’t charge.”

(The laptop in question has one corner where the charger would be plugged in looking like it’s been smashed against a wall. You can see the white insides of the laptop; the whole hinge is broken and twisted.)

IT Support Staff: “Um, okay. Yeah, you might have a bit of a bad time there.”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 8
Laptop Flop, Part 7
Laptop Flop, Part 6

Wish You Could Throw The Book At Him

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

Customer: “Do you have [Title]?”

Me: “No, we don’t; I’m sorry. It doesn’t look like we can order it in either.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. Usually in these cases it’s something to do with copyright or publishing laws, and you can’t buy it anywhere in Australia. You may be able to order it online from overseas, but I think you’ll probably have trouble buying it in store.”

Customer: “So would the bookshop upstairs have it?”

Me: “Probably not, but you can give them a go.”

(The guy leaves and comes back about 15 minutes later.)

Me: “Hi again, how did you go?”

Customer: “They didn’t have it, but they said I could get it from some place called ‘Book Depository.'”

Me: “Oh, yeah, that’s a website based in England.”

Customer: “So can you order it from there?”

Me: “You mean, me personally?”

Customer: “Great. How much is it?”

Me: “Oh, no, we can’t do it through the store. I’ll write down the website for you though and you can do it when you get home.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer.”

Me: “The library is just across the road. You can see if they have it and if not you can use one of their computers.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just do it for me? Don’t you call people to tell them when their books come in?”

Me: “We do that when we’re selling the book. Book Depository is another company. They’re our competition. Doing that would be like me buying a book from the shop upstairs and calling you to tell you it’s come in.”

Customer: “But the shop upstairs didn’t have it.”

Me: “…It would be like me doing your supermarket shopping for you.”

Customer: “Do you think they’d have the book?”

Me: *trying not to slap the guy in the face* “No, my point was that they’re a different company. We can’t do your shopping for you, especially when it’s our competition and I would have to order it for you personally and with my own money.”

Customer: “Great! Let’s do that!”

Me: “…”

Gunning For A Sale

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was calling to see if you sell bullets?”

Me: “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

Customer: “Do you sell bullets? Like for reloading?”

Me: *thinking maybe he is confused and needs the ‘bullet’ CO2 cartridges we sell for some of our air-powered nailers* “Bullets… as in bullets for guns, or…?”

Customer: “Yes! Bullets! For shooting!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we do not. We sell home improvement items and bullets are not a home improvement item.”

Customer: “…Are you sure?”

Groomed To Be An A**-Hole

| USA | Crazy Requests

(We happen to work at a store extremely close to a high school which recently experienced a tragic shooting. Traffic builds up as parents are frantically trying to retrieve their children and belongings from the school. Police restrict access for safety reasons, causing spillover to multiple neighborhoods. This call comes within an hour of the event.)

Manager: “Hello, thank you for calling [Pet Store]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “There’s traffic near the school.”

Manager: “We’ve heard there was a shooting there just an hour ago, sadly. A few students are injured, with at least one confirmed death. It’s likely to be congested there for a while…”

Customer: *huffing* “Well, am I going to be able to get to my grooming appointment?”

Manager: *speechless*