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Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

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The Devil’s In The Digital

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Popular, Religion, Technology

(We specialize in household goods that supermarkets won’t carry but people still need, like phones, vacuum cleaners, perfumes, mobile phones, electric razors, cooking appliances, the works.)

Customer: “You, umm, you work here?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I do. How can I assist you?”

Customer: “I need a wireless house phone! Where do you have those?”

Me: “Right over here, sir. If you’ll follow me…”

(Now, protocol for the store is that all items are locked behind glass as display items, and sold items come up from the warehouse. All products come with a code that customers tell the cashiers to have their products brought up.)

Customer: “Hmm, how about that one? That’s a double set, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it is. Good brand, too.”

Customer: “Hmm… Can you take it out, so I can feel it in my hand?”

Me: “No, sir, this is our display model. I’m not allowed to take it out without permission from our manager or assistant manager.”

Customer: “But I need to check if it’s a digital phone.”

(All wireless phones we sell are digital. I’ve never heard of an analog wireless phone.)

Me: “They’re all digital, sir.”

Customer: “All? But digital signals cause the Devil to whisper into your brain and cause cancer! I demand you show me an analog wireless phone.”

(This goes back and forth a bit, with me explaining that there is no such thing as an analog wireless phone. A second part about this is that I’ve literally never encountered an as openly religious person in my life before this as this customer was, because keeping your faith to yourself and not forcing it upon others is a big part of society here.)

Customer: “The Devil has already whispered into your brain! I know it! NOW SHOW ME AN ANALOG WIRELESS PHONE!”

Me: “Sir, it’s literally impossible to avoid digital signals in this day and age. Wireless Internet is a digital signal. Wi-Fi is a digital signal. Television is mostly a digital signal nowadays. Even that cellphone you put in your pocket before you walked in? That’s also a digitally encoded signal.”

(At this point the customer just stared at me and walked out of the door, holding a silver crucifix and murmuring prayers.)

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Independent From The Closing Times

| Daphne, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

Me: “How may I direct your call?”

Customer: “Yeah, are you guys closing early for Independence Day?”

Me: “We are. We close at eight.”

Customer: “But I don’t know if I can get there in time, and I really need something!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but we close at eight.”

Customer: “But you can stay open for me, right? I spend thousands of dollars there! It’s not like you’re all going to do anything after eight anyway!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but I still can’t let you in if you get here after the store is closed. No one can.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. And you can’t make any exceptions?”

Me: “Not unless you’re Johnny Depp.”

Customer: “D****it!”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(My husband is in line at the bank. He has to wait a while, as there is a customer being served ahead of him cashing a check.)

Cashier: *to customer* “Just to remind you, ma’am, you can deposit the check, but you can’t withdraw any money from it for a few days.”

Customer: “WHY NOT?! IT’S MY MONEY!”

Cashier: *patiently* “Well, you’ve had six checks bounce this month alone, it’s bank policy, plus overdraft fees from your checks…”

Customer: “What has that got to do with anything? I want my money!”

Cashier: *sighs*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 52
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 51
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 50

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Got Everything Wrong

, | USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: “I want three tacos with everything.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What did you mean by ‘everything’?”

Customer: “You know, everything.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t know what you mean. We have a lot of different ingredients that we can put on your tacos. Which ones would you like?”

Customer: *getting agitated* “You know, everything!”

Me: “We have ‘supreme’ tacos which come with sour cream, lettuce, cheese and tomatoes. Would you like three Supreme Tacos?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s it! With onions and everything!”

Me: “So, three Supreme Tacos with onions and what else would you like on them?”

Customer: “You know, everything!”

Me: *reading off our list of ingredients in order* “So you want three tacos with beef, chicken, steak, red sauce, chili, beans…”

Customer: *interrupts* “No, no, no! I didn’t say I wanted all that! I didn’t say to get all ludicrous about it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m just trying to figure out what you want on your tacos.”

Customer: “Everything!” *she then leaves the drive-thru without saying another word*

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Carded And Drafted

| Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I have just had a man get very angry with me because I wouldn’t let his kid or grandkid get on the computers.)

Guy: “This kid has his library card number memorized. Why can’t he get on the computers?”

Me: “He has to have his actual library card with him in order to get on the computers.”

Guy: “He can’t just tell you his card number and get on one?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. He has to have his actual card with him.”

Guy: *glares and moves closer to me* “Why?”

Me: “It’s one of our library branch’s rules.”

Guy: “You have got to be kidding me.”

Me: “I’m 100% serious. I have to have a physical card in order to scan it into the computer to make a reservation.”

Guy: *leans over the table and puts his finger in my face* “Well, whoever made up that rule should’ve been drafted in Vietnam like I was!”

(He then walked away muttering about how that was “bullshit” and leaving me absolutely speechless, mouth hanging open.)

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