Category: Crazy Requests

Some customers can be demanding, but within reason. These customers however make some requests that go beyond demanding, beyond reasonable, beyond possible! These requests, like the customers, are crazy!

Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 11

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(A customer comes into my shop and wants to exchange a dog harness for a bigger size. Not usually a problem. She takes out the item; it’s not one of ours.)

Me: “Ma’am, that doesn’t appear to be something we stock here. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t get it here. I got it off of Amazon. Can’t I just exchange it for a bigger size?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. We don’t accept stock from other shops. You can’t return it here.”

Customer: “Why not? Surely you can sell it on?”

(I then had to explain that we don’t work on a bartering system. I ended up selling her something else. Bonus: she came back four months later and tried to return two dog harnesses, still not from my shop, for a more expensive dog harness than she’d bought previously.)

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 10
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 9
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 8

About To Blow His Muffin Top

, | MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a well-known fast food breakfast chain. An elderly male customer orders a blueberry muffin.)

Me: “And would you like it toasted?”

Elderly Guy: “Yes, I would, but please don’t put it in the oven. It makes it too hot. Just put it in that toaster.”

(We have large oven-like toaster machines and we also have conveyor belt toasters that are only big enough for bagels. The man points at the conveyor belt toaster.)

Me: “Uh, we can’t fit the muffin in there, sir. That one’s just for bagels.”

Elderly Guy: “But that’s how I want it.”

Me: “Okay, but it doesn’t fit, see? The muffin’s too tall.”

Elderly Guy: “Well, just do the best you can.”

(The elderly guy is angry now and I’m done arguing.)

Me: “Sir, I cannot put that muffin in that toaster. The muffin will touch the top of the toaster and it will catch on fire.”

Elderly Guy: “Well, I’ll have it COLD, THEN! Are you HAPPY NOW?!”

Getting Pumped Up

, | MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work for a well-known fast food breakfast chain. A 30-ish man steps up to the counter.)

Customer: “I would like a small coffee with extra, extra cream and extra, extra pumpkin spice and three sugars, please.”

(I’m working the coffee station so I get to work on it. Note that the default for any in a small coffee is two. It’d be two sugars, two creams, two pumps of pumpkin, etc. For every “extra” a customer asks for, we put an additional unit. For his order I use four creams, four pumps of pumpkin goo, and three sugars. And in a small coffee, this takes up more than half the cup. I give the man his coffee after I’ve finished it. Moments later he returns.)

Customer: “Excuse me… It’s not even hot.”

Me: “Oh, well, the cream and pumpkin are refrigerated so it’s not going to be that hot. Would you like me to use less?”

Customer: “NO! I want extra, extra cream, extra extra pumpkin, three sugars!”

(I make the coffee with three creams and three pumps this time with three sugars. I give him the coffee and he tastes it.)

Customer: “Look, this is ridiculous. It’s lukewarm. I need to see a manager.”

(I sent my manager over and watch the customer flail around explaining how terrible I am. Manager made him a coffee with one cream, one pump, one sugar. Guy seemed satisfied and left. Manager looked at me and shrugged.)

A Ballooning Sense Of Entitlement

| USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am with my company’s owner, advertising by handing out free balloons at a agriculture expo. It’s towards the end of the day; we have about two dozen balloons left inflated, and we’ve depleted the helium tank for the day. So, we are handing out the last balloons before quitting for the day.)

Little Girl: “I want a pink balloon!”

Me: “Sorry! I’m all out of pink. I just have these colors left.”

Little Girl: “Hmm… Yellow?”

Girl’s Father: “Nonsense. If you want pink, they will give you pink. Look, they have pink balloons there!” *pointing to my bag of un-inflated balloons*

Me: “I do, but I’m out of helium. I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you this yellow balloon that floats, and give you a pink balloon you can blow up and play with at home!”

Little Girl: “Okay!”

Girl’s Father: “No, not okay! The pink balloon won’t float if we just blow it up.”

Me: “Well, that’s all I can do for you.”

Girl’s Father: “Do you have more helium?”

Me: “This is all I have here.”

Girl’s Father: “But where do you have more helium? One of you can run and go get another tank.”

Me: “Look, this is all the helium I have.”

Little Girl: “Daddy! I want the yellow balloon.”

Girl’s Father: “There had to be a way to problem solve this! Can you take the helium from one balloon and use it to inflate a pink balloon?”

Me: “Look, if you want to try that, feel free, but I’m not going to waste time trying to cannibalize one of the balloons for another.”

Girl’s Father: “This is terrible customer service!”

Business Owner: “You know what? I’ll give you all your money back. Oh, wait. They are free. And I am not giving you one at any price. Now we are gonna give these to everyone else who wants a FREE BALLOON. Please leave my booth before I call security.”

(The girl’s father sputtered and turned, yanking his daughter away with him. He pulled her across the concourse while she wailed that she didn’t get a balloon.)

Meat Her Halfway, Part 2

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

Customer: “Can I have the [Premium Brand #1] ham, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t stock [Premium brand #1].”

Customer: “WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! [Premium Brand #1] IS THE ONLY MEAT WORTH EATING!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have it. We have [Premium Brand #2] instead.”

Customer: “How was I supposed to know that?!”

(I point to my apron, my hat, and the two-feet-by-five-feet sign above my head, all of which are emblazoned with the logo of the brand we carry.)

Customer: “YOU CAN’T EXPECT ME TO READ THAT! [Premium Brand #1] IS THE ONLY LUNCHMEAT I EAT! EVERYTHING ELSE IS S***!”

Related:
Meat Her Halfway

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